I think that I have learned that I would walk by faith and completely trust my life in God's hands. I believe that Jesus having God come down as a man, had to completely believe in what his Father Will was.

The Big Question what is God Will. My only answer is Love.

TAB

I wanted to hand them my cross when I was in the WinCo parking lot. She was so beautiful, but I just don't know if I could live so perfectly.

Night everyone.

TAB

Thought I would add the picture to the experience.

Night everyone.... I shared some a typical experiences from journaling, and some I found with people that have mental health issues.

Sometimes I wonder why they experience the world so differently.

God Bless You All

Night
TAB

I am still in....
TAB

interesting

I just check a book out at the library. I start reading about his ethic. I did not read easy.

Take Care... I come back if I get some reading in.

TAB

In a mystical cage, amongst the truth there are times when life unwinds a kind but gentle sway.No more different than the rocking of a boat in a moment of a summers day.

Gentle to the right we move, often securing ourself against the direction. Surrounding our moment of life, we are hear at the incomplete intersection.

WE capture the essense of the completeness of all ways at once. Did we lose the moments of innocense of self truth and compliance for us?

For them we were never truly about us, or being a complete lives. Is it an absolute manner of existence, through all our tries?

Our whole together is stonger that the ideal of surrealism being able to be preceived. Open along the seams of the sky, the clouds hazily pass, as time disrupts the serenity..

The clouds are not as sharp, but blurry and lack the truth of time. The melt into eachother, could it be a heaven or an earthly sign.

They pass like moments of words written on an invisible page.
Taking along the moment of untruths that change upon the whims of this mystical cage.

You missed it again I screamed why weren't you there? My heart desires that you would never leave me through times of dispair.

My face near yours, you whisper... quietly you whisper a soothing word we know. How long before your here again, how long does this life wander through with moments that no-one will know.

LIfted a little by a complete truth in your heart.
I know your returning, your end and start.
As the surreal ends and the real comes back.
I search the ground for left is a very small crack.

I know it was real but who am I to say, only those
with open mind, open hearts, with love can appreciate this mystical cage of a day.

TAB 2/2007 ( A feeling of wonderment)

My world has become timeless
sometimes very dim as I look at it
People faces pulsate
I watch when I read
The words begin to look funny
they move around, grow faint
sometimes the world becomes
very bright- objects pulsate
The world seems very unreal

Now and then when I look in the mirror
my face changes and seems different
I feel rays of energy upon me
Often I see sparks or spots of light
floating before me
I hear my own thoughts echoing
outside my head and empy courtyard
Eyes pierce and frighten me
they interfere with my body to hele me My hands and feet
sometimes are muct too large some of my organs may even be dead
Perhaps my stomah is dead
my bowels definately are dead
How often have I felt
another voice in my head
Strange sounds some
laughing
frighens me
Voice from the radio,
Television, tape dects
talk to and about me
My ears burn with exposure
times my mind goes blank
aware that people are talking about me
There are times when they read my mind
There mya even be some kind of plot
When I come into a new situation
it is occasionally a repeat
one that happened before
I red other people's minds
hear m own thoughts very clearly
as if they were a voice.
find that past, present, and future seem all muddled up Time has
changed recently on I'm not sure how People are messing with my mind to harm me everything seems to be altered
to big or too small, out of proportion Every so often I leave my body my hadn and feet look awfully far way the bones feel soft
I am no longer sure who I am

Written by DS Black - From a schizophrenic journal....

his lost nice write

I always thoughted I wanted to know, and then I found out. Ignorance was bliss...

Thanks KC...

If I could canvas my life to a picture it would start on a rocky beach with broken shells, leading to smooth wide, white sands, and emerald green waters. Along the way there would be an array of big and small rocks awaiting to be thrown, sitting next to a few deep wholes awaiting to be filled.
A child built sand castle filled with the ideas of hopefully fantasy, knights in shinning armour, and a million and one gallant rescues. A little further up would be a small underdeveloped parking area, where a forest had been stripped bare for industry to rise. The truth of natural innocence being replace with hard roads ahead.
You come to a fork in the road where the path on the right looks like a harder climb, with no help or rope. The left finding new ways to cherish a deceptive life style. The picture changes faster as every stroke and it becomes a motion of brown seams in the taspestry.... a blur.... a long hard blur... Thats more difficult to see, let alone blend with other colors.
Ofen a light begins to brighten with the brilliance of loves stroke, but is often shaeded by an intrepretation of an intelligent interuption of design,never allowing the moment to come to full process or actually a perfect picture.
When everyday feels like the last paint will dry and the picture makes no sense at all, there is a calling of love that continues to change the colors on the canvas. For awhile the pitures of birds, lovers, hearts desire, and broken darkness dress up the canvas for an interesting view.
The way back to the beach is probably the road in which is painted with gentleness, truth and beauty. The mountains however are often convered with the whiteness, and bitterness of a winter storm allowing noone to pass without the abitlity to color the world with a warm brilliant sun.
The flowers in the field bring me ever so closer to the blue green ocean view, To see the possible ending keeps the canvas alive, love keep the hope, and God keeps the faith painting each day a way back to the beach.

TAB mixed in from a journal writing 2002-2008
Sharing my love for the arts..

LOL, I might have just an option for a sponcer. Guess its time to find a team. Thanks for the encouragement.

Tanya

Open up the doors again.
A new road or maybe an old may begin.
You can do this, you know the game.
Choose to follow all the rules, and teach each to do the same.

Maybe when Peter jump up and left the boat.
He heard Jesus calling, and hoped to stay a float.
Keep your eyes on the Lord and let go of fear.
Hold out your hand and know the Lord is near.

If you fall He will catch you.
If you soar it, he was there too.
If it meant for God to build up success.
Trust in His Spirit, His Love, and Goodness.

I'm going to try once again, once more.
I'm going to open the one I love, my favorite door.
If its in His Will, the best I believe.
Is that all will work for His Glory, deservingly.

I deticate this poem to my faith, and hope.
It's nothing you can touch, through it I cope.
So open your favorite doors in your heart.
Believe in the One who was there from the start.

And just maybe, it is the right moment.
To follow what you want to do, a heaven scent.
Adjust your attitude, direct your nerve.
Believe in God, and yourself that is what you deserve.

Have fun with the idea, support a cause.
Remember the joy and reflect with a pause.
If doing what you love is good for all.
The justice will prevail, if I teach volleyball.

TAB 2/23/08 Just having fun with hopefully a new idea.

hmmmmm...... nice thoughts

I hope your heart desire is filled.... Nice job

TAB

Perfect expression and too the point. I like that one Txs

TAB

I enjoyed the sentiment...

sounds special

nice