zingers!

A young woman visits her doctor because her ankles are very sore.
"ok, let me take a look." says the doctor. As the woman raises her pant legs, the doctor is shocked to find several scratch and bite marks, "My God, who did this to you?"
"It's my boyfriend," says the woman, "he surprised me with a new poodle as a gift. It was sweet of him, but this little dog will not stop humping my ankles. I've tried everything."
"I see," says the doctor, "If this poodle is such a problem, why don't you give the dog back to him?"
"I can't! I don't want to upset him. We've only known eachother for 1 month, and I've noticed that he can become very emotional. I don't know what to do. I don't even like small dogs."
"Well, it is my opinion that you give the dog back. Just tell your boyfriend you don't like small dogs. I'm sure he'll understand, and he might even surprise you with jewelry instead!" advised the doctor, "In the meantime, here is a prescription for an antibiotic cream. But, please, talk to your boyfriend."
"Maybe I will," says the woman reluctantly.
Two weeks go by, and the woman returns to her doctor.
"So, how did the talk with your boyfriend go?" asks the doctor.
The woman lifts her shirt to show several red streaks running down her back.
"My God! Did your boyfriend do this to you?" exclaimed the doctor.
"Yes," says the woman, "He traded in the poodle for a great dane!"

A woman makes a trip to the doctors office for a constant itching feeling in her private area. Upon arriving at the doctor's office, the nurse leads her to a room, and instructs her to strip down, put on the hospital gown, and lay on the examining table. The woman does as she is told, and when the nurse returns to check on her, she states that the doctor will be with her shortly. The woman waits for 45 mins, and no doctor arrives. Finally she sees a man in a white lab coat walking the halls past her doorway, and calls to him, "Will you please take a look at me! I've been waiting for 45 mins!"
The man walks in, stands at the foot of the examining table, and lifts the woman's gown. He frowns, then motions to another man in a white lab coat, who also lifts her gown, and frowns. Then the 2 men proceed to walk back to the hall.
"Wait!" yells the woman, "What's wrong with me?"
"I don't know," says one of the men, "we're just here to paint the halls!"

A farmer notices his 10yr old family dog hasn't moved from his sleeping spot all day, so the farmer calls the local vet to take a look. The vet arrives in a big white van, and the farmer shows him where the dog lay, motionless. The vet puts his hands on the dog, but there is no reaction. He then goes back to his van, pulls out a small pet carrier, and sets it down beside the farmer's family pet. Upon opening the pet carrier, a little yellow kitten crawls out, full of energy. The kitten walks around and on top of the dog, rubbing against it as it purrs. The dog still does not move. The vet puts the kitten back into the carrier, and tells the farmer, "Well, it looks like your dog is dead. I'm so sorry."
"It's ok," said the farmer, "He lived a good life, and I suspected that was the case. What do I owe you?"
"Well, it's $40 for the visit, but $80 for the cat scan!"

An older couple are taking their saturday morning walk together, hand in hand, through a public park. Suddenly, a pigeon flys quickly overhead, and craps on the old man's bald head.
"oh," says the old woman, "I wish we had some toilet paper."
"Why?" says the old man, "He's half a mile away by now!"

A young man walks into a club, slams his hand on the bar, and says, "Bartender, give me six shots of tequila, I just had my first blow job!"
The bartender raises his eyebrows and smiles, saying, "Your first blow job, eh? That's a special occasion! How about I give you a seventh shot, on the house."
"No," replies the young man, "If six shots of tequila doesn't get this taste out of my mouth, nothing will!"

I'm a little distracted, but not in a mood. I'm off work tomorrow! Yay! ....just trying to inject a little happiness into the forums

cute

in that case...I'm glad we're both straight

thanx...but your eyes are prettier

ay...ye found me secret matey

awwwww they change colors

no...just a little crazy

trust me, its there...I think

hmmmm....

ok, rate it. Any suggestions?

yea, I agree, something like aviators hat or helmet or soemthing like that

I think the more you message a person, the better idea you have about them. But honestly, how do you know people you meet off this site in person are really safe? Seems to me there's not a whole lot of difference, other than the feeling you get by meeting a person...in person.

You can't force someone to be a parent if they don't want to. You can force his hand to at least be responsible for his half of the action (i.e. child support later on). But if he doesn't want to be a parent or be part of your pregnancy, there's not a whole lot you can do about that. I say let him walk, you never know, he might come back when he's ready to take responsibility.