Okay... most of you remember my most recent dilemma. I tested 2 days ago b/c I was as of that moment a whole MONTH late. The result I got that I thought was invalid turned out to be IDENTICAL to the first 'error' my friend who IS INDEED 12 weeks preg got on her first one. I took a second one today and got a very faint line that went away after about an hour (doesn't matter b/c that can happen with the cheaper tests, and a line is a line in the preg world from what I was told) Well, since the line went away, though I know that more than likely DOES mean I'm pregnant (personally I'm like YAY!) but anyway...

I want to test again to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. I called the guy, told him about the first two and how the first was messed up and the 2nd one went away and that I think I should take one more. Well, most of the day he won't talk to me, then comes over, uses my restroom, then comes out and THROWS a walgreens bag at me and walks out. Well, I am proud of him for what was IN the bag, its 2 more tests. However, I really wish he'd let himself relax. I have tried being very gentle with him, I've been nothing BUT gentle with him through out this whole thing. He calls me from his truck and tells me to not call him anymore and hangs up. How much more gentle do I have to be to get him to talk to me? I know he's scared ****less, and I told him to take all the time to think that he needed b/c I understand that. I am afraid though I'll never hear from him again, what do you think?

Now, before I get any responses: I'm not asking for pity, opinions on how horrible I am or any other kind of judgment. I'm asking how you would handle this particular situation.

I really would like for him to be involved,(assuming that I really am.. I really didn't think I was until a few days ago) b/c he and the baby do deserve that much. I'll be okay and manage just fine if he doesn't, but I really think he'll regret it if he's not there.

You can't force someone to be a parent if they don't want to. You can force his hand to at least be responsible for his half of the action (i.e. child support later on). But if he doesn't want to be a parent or be part of your pregnancy, there's not a whole lot you can do about that. I say let him walk, you never know, he might come back when he's ready to take responsibility.

Yeah, I know, I don't want to force him. I would like to ENCOURAGE him though, but he won't let me. I told him that if I am in fact preg and it wasn't a mistake on the test, no matter where he or myself is, I'll always send him pics and make sure he knows where and how his child is. I know that as of right now thats pretty much the best I can do. I guess what bothers me the most is that he really IS a good guy, and he's cutting himself short. I KNOW that if he let himself, he'd be a great dad he's amazing with his neice and nephew, and with my nephews. I guess only time will tell with this one.

First of all, wouldn't you want to use protection, Whether he did or not, Wal-mart sells the perfect vaginal contraceptives which I like to use instead of rubbers. It sounds to me like he is being a prick, and can't own up to his own actions, as well as you. If you love the man thats one thing, if it was a quickie, thats another. You can't make anyone do what they don't want to do, so don't chase him around and rag on him, let him settle. Time is a wonderful thing, and it does pass. What you do with it is up to you. You need someone to lean on, I'm here.

from personal experience i can safely say if he hasn't stepped foward by now, he probably never will reguardless what role he plays in it.

maybe you should leave him alone and give him a little time to think about it. and maybe in a few days or a week or something, give him a call if he hasn't called you. good luck :)

A: It wasn't a one nighter. We've been friends who do our thing for quite a while now.

B: I'm not going to wast my time explaining my sex life or my choices to you b/c you don't know me.

C: I'm not hounding and chasing him, I thought it was only right that he knows whats going on with his (more likely than not) baby.

mabey he really is just freaked out and doesnt know how to handle this yet? he should own up to it and be there if indeed you are. mabey he just needs time? i dont know him or you and dont know how or what yall are, but mabey take the tests be sure of what the outcome is, call and let him know.

Yeah, thats what I'm thinking. I'll wait til after I take the next one for one thing... then I'll email or leave a voice mail telling him to contact me and if he does he does, if not I can more than happily go it alone if I have to.

I my self thank it's wrong that he ant
talking to you, am sure he was when he was
playing, he need's to men up. if he didn't
want it to happen then he knew what to do,
it just ant up to the women....he was only
thanking with the wrong haed.....

Haha, Man up... are you countrified like me? LOL

I will give him time, I even told him that if I am, he even has a whole 7 months to decide what he wants to do, b/c I certainly won't force his hand.

that is such a scary story...

i had a false preg scare with one of my ex's once

i was dying in fear haha

Hello sweetie im Desi an im a RN if the test showed a line but the line went away that could be 3 thing, your knocked up but you wont be able to carry orthe test is too cheap or sometimes with them test it just can be your hormones acting up, it best you go to the doctors to know for sure, an far as your friend goes the way you said how he has been to you, girl i wouldnt want a baby from him....... but 2 each her own

Haha, yeah, the first two tests were dollar general, and they are the same as the dollar tree tests. I've heard with those being accurate, its hit or miss. I waited a while and took one of the ones he brought me and I do see another faint line. I'm testing again first thing tomorrow morning to be sure. Haha, personally I think the faint lines are from me being impatient and not waiting till morning like I should. I didn't set out to get preg, but did make it clear that though my chances are VERY slim with having PCOS, they are THERE. I left it up to him since we both had proof we were clean... I had 2 types of contraceptives available and he said he didn't care. I told him "Okay then, don't be mad then if something happens" Of course he was really horny and I dont' think he really cared at that moment, or just didn't think that it would happen. I didn't think so either... so its not like just ONE is to blame. I'm not blaming him and I don't think he has the right to blame me either.

sounds like he might have to grow a set and deal with the cards that yall were dealt.

he's lucky

Thank you all for being kind, by the way. LOL, last time I posted asking for advice about this here I got reamed over stuff I never even asked about. I was actually really scared to even ask, but I don't talk to anyone so I had to talk to someone about it. Even if its total strangers...lol, which is better since ya'll don't know him or me so you can have a more true opinion than others that know me would.

us humans are to give positive advice on here
not negative

Jayme-Girl...you know he is freaked out. Why won't you go to Planned Parenthood and get a proper test? Please! If you are indeed pregnant, you need pre-natal care STAT. Okay, I watch too many medical dramas.

As for the friend, I'm sure he is just freaked out. Give him time to breathe and think it all thorough when the pregnancy is confirmed by a doctor.

Everyone gets freaked out whether the pregnancy is planned or unplanned. When I found out I was pregnant by a home kit, my ex was convinced that I did the test wrong. We had been trying to get pregnant and I was getting ready to go on Clomid.

Hang in there. Keep us posted and take good care of yourself.

Hugs, M

Jayme....hello.

So you are more likely pregnant, than not.

No disrespect intended.... you know I shoot from the hip, so here goes...

Mission accomplished.

Why do I say that? Because for quite a few months now, that is what you wanted. A partner, would have been perfect, a loving planned child, by both parties would have been perfect. Hasn't happened. Big deal. You wanted a child, and now it seems you will have one.

It's your body, and your life, and you know your capacity to raise a healthy person.


Take care of you, focus on you, and your upcoming parenthood, say a silent thankyou to the biological father, and keep moving forward, if he appears, more power to him, if he chooses to participate, even better, if not, so bloody what, there are millions of single parent families.