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If he truely wants to be a part of his childs life, then I think he would clean up his act...at least around his child. Having a natural born father around is good, but there are other men out there who are not into the whole drugs/alcohol scene, and willing to date women with children. Kinda sounds to me like he is more interested in you than the child, but I don't know the whole situation. I say hold him at bay, if he wants to spend time with his child, then allow it while you are there. I don't think you should re-involve yourself with a party-animal while you have a child because this will affect your child.
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Topic:
I need advice
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How do I explain to my daughter that the only dad she knows won't be coming home ever again? She has known him since she was a newborn and has been there for her in every aspect of her life. How do I tell her that we won't be together anymore. noone likes hurting their children, dear, but you have to do the right things for them even if it breaks your heart. Children are resilent, though, and she may be upset for a while, but the alternative is her missing him anyway since he is in jail, and very likely could be in and out of jail the rest of her life. I don't think either of you deserve that. And its not to say he might change for the better later in life, though I think it will probably be years. It's sad, but you are showing your daughter the right thing by saying that he has to take the repercusions of his actions, and that you are going to do whatever you can to provide a good and stable enviroment for her. Very nicely said Butikal thanx 
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Topic:
I need advice
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How do I explain to my daughter that the only dad she knows won't be coming home ever again? She has known him since she was a newborn and has been there for her in every aspect of her life. How do I tell her that we won't be together anymore. noone likes hurting their children, dear, but you have to do the right things for them even if it breaks your heart. Children are resilent, though, and she may be upset for a while, but the alternative is her missing him anyway since he is in jail, and very likely could be in and out of jail the rest of her life. I don't think either of you deserve that. And its not to say he might change for the better later in life, though I think it will probably be years. It's sad, but you are showing your daughter the right thing by saying that he has to take the repercusions of his actions, and that you are going to do whatever you can to provide a good and stable enviroment for her. |
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Topic:
I need advice
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Spirit, It appears that you have a great amount of feelings for your guy and I can understand your dilemma, however you've listed a long history of arrests and this appears to be a repetitive behavior of your gentleman. This alone is a major concern, how long ago was this assault committed and how long has it been since he decided to change his life. You mentioned that you guys have been together for 3 years and you can't remember why he spent a year in jail? It is great he decided to turn his life over to God and if this is true then he will do the time and come home stronger in his faith then when he went in. With all this said as TxsGal3333 said "you must consider your child" also how your relationship will affect her in the long run. Are you willing to take your child into that environment to see him ? What longterm effects will this have on her? What about depleting your finances, what happens to your child then ? My suggestion to you is to always weigh the Pro's and Con's and if the Pro's outweigh the Con's then go with your decision but always keep your childs future in the forefront of your thoughts, she needs a mentally sound, stress free mom at least most of the time.  Good Luck  Kudos
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Topic:
I need advice
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Well,the charges were aggravated assault,no sentence has been put out yet and he's in county jail.When we met he was a born again christian and was a totally different person afterwards.He was arrested before but for traffic tickets and once for being drunk in public.This was before we met.He was in jail before for a yr but I forget what that was for  I just hate that after all his hard work to be a better person this has to happen and now I don't know what to do.I thought about my babygirl and she loves him to death.He's the only real daddy she knows. I think everyone here is right...your daughter comes first. If you love him enough and are dedicated to him, then you could wait for him, but his history is showing a pattern that may affect your future relationship. People make mistakes, and he may be trying to become the better man, what it really comes down to is how much are you willing to put yourself and your daughter through. I'm of the opinion that everyone has a 1000 people on this earth they are compatable with somewhere, and I'm sure at least one of them does not have these issues. Logically, the answer is to move on. Emotionally, how much are you willing to sacrifice of your own life, and are those sacrifices going to be bad for your daughter? Humans are creatures of habit, not that people can't better themselves, but habits are hard to break--you can teach a shark not to bite someone, but it's not going to be easy. |
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Topic:
Best gaming system
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360 all the way....I just can't take the wii or ps3 seriously yet, and I've been a fan of the xbox since the original halo.
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Topic:
The male brain explained
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That was intresting...I hope I don't forget it by the end of this post!
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Topic:
Who here believes.....
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I am Santa Claus...after a diet and a shave
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Topic:
Angels....created by God??
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My understanding is that God is omni-potent, which would imply forever in power. Man has a beginning but in this case God does not. I don't think the normal rules of cause and effect apply to the creator, since God set the rules in the first place. I can only take a guess since I am not one, but I believe angels do the bidding of God because they believe in his purpose. Any other choice and they would end up as satan.
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Women's view on marriage
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ouch! that was painfully funny:)
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Topic:
Mass Effect
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Get the game dude. If you like RPG games, then this one is one to add to the collection. absolutely agreed...the only trouble I'm having is I keep running into situations too powerful for my characters levels, so watch how you level up or set it on auto-leveling |
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Topic:
child support question?
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First off, she cannot demand you pay child support...the courts must do this. So you need to establish if you really are the father. In addition to the other advice given here, you might try talking to a father advocacy group (there are several across the U.S.). You must remember, just because she may be having your child does not mean she makes up all the rules...you have rights as a father also, no matter what state you live in.
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Topic:
Would you say i'm shallow?
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It's not shallow, it's just male....statistically men are attracted to females due to physical characteristics more than anything else (something like 60% to 80%), where women are more attracted to communication skills ( 40% to 60%). This is not to say that men can't overcome this, just that it's instinctual. And when you realize that beauty can be found in other areas that make up someones whole persona, hopefully you will overcome that instinctual behavior...I'm not trying to be rude, just think your limiting yourself. Very few people are both beautiful & honorable, or sexy & intelligent, or your idea of perfect (which could change from day to day). BTW, I want the same things , too, but I just am being realistic.
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Topic:
Your Zodiac Sign.....
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CANCER - The Cutie
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward. yep, that's me!....the 12 years of bad luck part, anyway :( |
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I don't know about other men my age, but I am extremely attracted to younger women...I don't think they are good for me though. My ex was 7 yrs younger, and we were never on the same page. I always blamed that on the age difference, but I guess I shouldn't judge the tree by one bad apple. Anyway, I rarely ever persue younger women that I like because of that. But, man, those 20 to 30 yr olds make my heart skip a beat! Luckily, Dave, my daughters are only 9 and 6, so I don't have that guilty factor....yet!
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