If a man is still on any Dating sites when he already Chose a woman he wanted to be in a "Relationship" with, then something is wrong with that. Remember, I am not talking about a Man, who is dating, there is a big difference in dating and in a real "Relationship". I don't think a Serious Man would have to be asked to give up his Dating sites . He would just do it. Imo

One thing that makes it nice about these dating sites is that people can put many of the things that are important out front and the threads allow for discussion of different views. Plus some site like OKCupid and help match people up based on their questioner. Although none of this is a guaranty that you will be perfect for each other.

I love the word traditional because it really depends on what point of reference you go to. After all what are the traditional rolls? In most places, it is the man and woman sharing the work load and raise a family. It varies from culture to culture.

Being a Biblical Christian and not a Religious Christian my traditional views are different. I’ve seen women through out the Bible hold many roles like teachers, pastors, prophet, generals, business owners and I believe there is even one that was a dean of a college. Even in my house, my dad has helped with the choirs and cooking. Mom has helped with the yard upkeep. Both of them have work, though now my mom has retired. As you can see my traditional views are different from others.

I've given up the idea of dating anyone from this site because there aren't enough active members living in my area. I'm hear to learn. There is an abundance of writers here.

I'm also here to find out whom I share similar interests with. I'm finding out who likes me based on thoughts revealed in my posts. It's so much easier to meet people here. I mean, consider the difficulty of starting conversations from scratch with complete strangers IRL. Seems like a lot of effort. Here, at least you know what is being talked about and you can express the thoughts that are relevant to a topic that you like.

I only read a profile when I want to send an email to someone.

I like how you put it, kic... that a man will want to be with us because of our chemistry and the "special" friendship we share with them... I'm not competitive either, and rather than fight for a man's attention, once he makes it clear that I'm not important to him, I walk away so he can be with somebody he will truly love and respect.

One guy told me has purposely brought up religion and politics cause the girl will drop any act and show her true self. It maybe a good thing to bring it up early on in a relationship since faith and political beliefs play big roles in people lives. Having different beliefs can create problems if not address. That is my two cents and some of you may say that is all I have.

I understand what you are saying because of the great relationship you had with your last husband… I can’t tell you enough how much I envy your good fortune… But, I have to be honest and say that I have never been with any man that did not want to hold me back for his own selfish reasons, in one way or another. Even the men that gave me more freedom by pushing me in the direction they wanted to see me go, eventually became envious of the attention I was shown by other men, and even women, and was constantly getting even with me by flirting with, or putting other women ahead of me in his respect… mens fragile egos when it comes to their possessive natures, in that they want to keep what they have to themselves, is something I will never whole heartedly understand, because they don’t allow us the same latitude with them… Men want to be free and to be trusted with said freedom, so they can cheat or flirt, or whatever pleasure it is they derive from being unfaithful to any degree in their relationships, while they expect us to toe the line so they don’t have to feel the sickness of jealousy…. So, until I get fortunate enough to meet a man that doesn’t have insecurity or power struggle issues, I can’t definitively give advice on something I haven’t experienced yet in all my 30 years after I became sexually active. Now, however, at 51, my life circumstances have changed, and I’m no longer dependent on a man for stability and support, so I will stay true to my own values and standards… and if any man tries to play me in any way, I will quit him and move on… this might sound harsh, Claire, but men seem to be confused about what it is they want out of, and in their lives, and what their personal contributions are to attain their goals… so at times they play games they think they can win… then when they lose, their pride is bruised and they want to blame the women for being a step or two ahead of them… I have a hard enough time protecting my own fragile feelings from the storms of others, so if a man wants to be with me, he’d better have enough of his own character strength, that not only will I not have to hold him up from breaking down, but that he will have extra to hold me up when I need his emotional support… that’s what I want in a man, and I won’t settle for less.. why should I?

Maybe the guy just can't communicate so that is why the girl is doing the talking. I have found through my own experiences most men simply don't know how to communicate very well.

Yes it is sad... the descriptive words that comes to my mind in processing your words is, "selfish and envious"... meaning... people who only focus on their own wants without regard for others, often become envious towards anyone that gets what they themselves want, but can't get without being fake and manipulative... negativity just makes my head spin...

Marriage is still a thing but there's really no stigma about having children out of wedlock now and you can have all of the commitment without the piece of paper. Women like the idea of having their "big day" where they are the centre of attention and everything is just how they want it. Part of it is just about trying to keep other people happy or doing what other people do. They get married in a church when they aren't actually religious. They wear a white dress. It all costs money just to make a public decleration and have a party.

Some people don't want to get married ironically because they don't want to be taken for granted. A lot of that is due to feminism. It isn't just that women want to retain their independence though. They want their men to keep making an effort and they like all of the romantic stuff, while a lot of men just want someone to have their children and cook and clean and be available for sex when they want it.

Greeneyes, from what I have read of your posts about you and your husband, many couples should follow this example, of mutual respect and I am sure there would be lot less divorces. Many people perfer to stay Single after divorce, because they know that once they move in with another partner, that it may be chaos, probably not be mutual respect for long. Some people out there, hide their real self and selfishness.

Seriously. This is the problem with generalizations. Many generalizations are true - as generalizations, and not for all individuals all the time.

I do think, at least in the mainstream culture of the early 21st century US, that men are more likely to talk more often for information, and women are more likely to talk more often to a feeling of connection or sharing with the other person.

But everybody does both at times, and many women and many men don't fit the generalization.

Once people start thinking like the stereotype is a good way to think about individuals, there is the problem of prejudice.

What is necessary talking, then? Do you guys like to sit around in silence? Is that what this is about? I'm not quite sure what this thread is really about, I guess.

I think you hit the nail on the head Greeneyes; it was like walking on eggshells. I also didn't appreciate him saying I was nagging when I only asked him once after waiting for two weeks if he would put the shelf up. I can't see how that is considered nagging. I just asked in case he forgot but he flew off the handle. He was removed from my home after he hit me from behind so I guess the warning signs were there over the shelf situation. I would ask him to help with the chores like mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage but he wouldn't even do that. I never realized how lazy a man can get until I lived with him. He wasn't the only one that was like that so I got used to doing things for myself. My friend Lee is an exceptional man and when he offers to do something for me or help me with something; he actually does in and in a reasonable time. However; men like him are very rare.