I agree...I wouldn't want to be in a relationship that was full of debt, duty and obligations or demands or expectations when it comes to romance. (Or being romantic etc.)...I don't want to feel like an actress with lines to "read." Or an assigned role to play etc...My Mom used to say: "If I want something I'll just get it for myself." She didn't expect my Dad to shower her with gifts or romantic gestures etc...She didn't expect anyone to "do" for her. Or "pump-up" her ego etc...But this didn't mean that she never "got" anything! It was fun to spoil and surprise her...And catch her "off-guard!"...It was fun and rewarding to "do" for her because she didn't have a long list of demands and expectations. And she appreciated every simple little "thing."...She was "easy to please" in other words.

It's hard to "please" everyone and make everyone happy all the time...Sometimes life gets busy or complicated. Or we have a lot on our "plate" and have trouble "juggling" everything. (All at the same time.)...I try to cut my friends some "slack" when they are facing new situations or challenges in their life. (Like getting remarried...Or dealing with health issues...Or starting a demanding new job etc...Or when they have other situations in their lives that take up most of their time.)...I tell them not to worry about me! But I let them know that I'll "be there" for them if they need me... Otherwise I'll stay on the sidelines and I won't "guilt-trip" them. Or put pressure on them to stay in touch with me all the time...I let them take the "lead" in other words.

I know I'm in love when I run into a man that I (absolutely) know that I can't live "without" or be "apart from" for very long...I know I'm in love when the joy and happiness and "good feelings" far, far outweigh any "weird stuff" that might pop-up once in awhile...And when the "weird stuff" gets "ironed-out" fast and doesn't make much of a "dent" in the overall "good." ("Good feelings" towards each other.."Goodwill" in the relationship...And wishing each other the best and "good" and happiness and success in all aspects of life as individuals and together as life-partners.)

Trying to keep the topic alive in a "friendly" way...Where (and when) did the phrase "hopeless romantic" first originate? Does anyone know? Just curious...I imagine that the term "hopeless" was (and is) used because people who enjoy being romantic intend to remain this way no matter what. (Even if they get rebuffed for being romantic or never find anyone who shares their love of romance etc.) What do you think? Thanks!

It's probably not smart to be surrounded by "yes people" all the time. (People who always agree with us and tell us that we're "right.")...How can we grow or expand our horizons if we're never exposed to new ideas? Or never challenged?...I think it boils down to the way people "differ" with us.. Or the way we handle "differences" when they come up. Don't you?

I wouldn't want to be with a man who felt obligated to act "macho" all the time either...YUK!...We're all human. Sometimes we're "brave" and confident and sometimes we're not!.. I enjoy being around men and women who are "real" and honest versus someone who feels compelled to act "tough" and "macho" round the clock!

Personally I think a lot of it has to do with competition. And maybe even boasting and bragging...I live in area with a lot of "tough" and "macho" women who really can do most everything. (Which is great!)...But some seem pretty arrogant. They play the "one-up game" with men. (And women who seem too "sissy-like" to suit them.)...I take pride in being well-rounded and being able to do quite a bit on my own. But I don't want to act like a "macho man." It's not my nature.

Years ago I read a book called "Women's Reality" by Anne Wilson Schaef Ph.D...The book discussed how women try to "prove" themselves in a world previously dominated by men...And some women stay in the "prove" mode indefinitely. They do what it takes to "get ahead" and "prove" that they are "just as good" or even "better" than men...They live in a world that revolves around competition and "back-stabbing." (If need be.)...In the book the author discusses how some women get tired of living in this type of reality and want something else. They long for some type of "middle-ground" where they don't have to act "tough" and "macho" all the time but don't have to go back to the old traditional ways either...Women like this create a new reality and a new "sense of being" for themselves that isn't about "acting" or "proving" or playing out assigned roles. (Of any kind.).. But it takes a lot of internal security to get to this "place." And some men are shedding their "old skin" and looking for something else (and new) too.

My cats are always happy when I get up in the morning. They want attention and they want to eat!...I wish I could train my cats to keep my coffee cup filled. Or train them to make breakfast (for me) once in awhile. And take out the trash etc!...But I'm not making much headway with their training...Seriously though...I don't know what I'd do without the 2 cats I have left. They keep me "going" and keep me on my "toes." It's been lonely here since my husband and son and our other cats died...My 2 cats are "up in age" but they still have a lot of "play" (and humor) left inside of them. So I'd have say that I get up in the morning for my cats... A lot of our family members have died but we still "carry-on" and try to "be there" for each other!

Sorry your relationship ended but it sounds like you learned a lot from the experience...Resentments can definitely pile-up and turn a previously happy relationship into a "nightmare." (Due to expectations that aren't "met.")...I'm a pretty low-key type of person and I don't always know how to handle "grand displays" of love and romance etc....It can be overwhelming for me! And just "too much!"...I don't want to feel indebted to someone based on all "they do" for me.. I don't want to have to say "thank you" day and night (and even in my sleep) because someone keeps "showering me" with "stuff." (And this includes lavish praise and compliments too.)....I tend to be practical and "down-to-earth" and I prefer modest and "even-keel" type of relationships. How do you feel about it today?

"One size" doesn't really fit everyone...It's all about compatibility....Some men and women place romance high-up on their list of priorities. (And others don't.)...Why chase after someone who doesn't "like/want/appreciate" what we have to "offer?".. We don't run into as many conflicts (or headaches) when we take the time to look for a compatible mate. (This has been my experience anyway.)

After our divorce my first husband asked one of my friends out. I was surprised. And even more surprised that my friend said "yes" and started dating him...I felt like my "ex" was just trying to get "back" at me or make me jealous or ?...And my friend? Well I'm not sure about her reasons. She had never seemed attracted to my husband in the past....Anyway right after they started dating I got a call from my friend's ex-husband and he wanted to take me out...The whole thing seemed pretty weird to me and I didn't want to "play games" too. But after talking to my friend's ex-husband on the phone a few times it seemed like we had a lot in common and we started going out and had fun together. (Primarily as friends. And we stayed friends for years.)...My friend and my "ex" stopped seeing each other before long. And I didn't see my friend very often after they "split-up." (Because I always wondered about her "motives.")

I get nervous if a man is overly romantic with me right off the bat. (Or in the early stages.)...I feel like I'm being asked to play a role in a man's movie (or romance novel.)...I don't unleash my "mushy" and "gushy" sides early-on. It takes me awhile to feel comfortable with romance....And I never like "romance on demand." (Or debt, duty and obligation and heavy-duty expectations when it comes to romance.)...I enjoy being romantic when "spirit" moves me. (And no one is pushing or forcing me to "act" a certain way.)

Tawt..You have an excellent and near-perfect "batting-score.".. You have the "blessings" and support of most everyone here...This all started because I responded to your opening question and I was honest about how I felt. Hopefully you won't run into any women like me out on the "dating circuit.".. I'm probably a pretty "rare breed" these days so the odds are you "won't."...Good luck to you on your journey. And I hope you keep meeting women who share your views...I'm going to stay where I'm "at" and stick with my views. But again...Good luck to you!

It's always easier to follow group or "community standards" and go along with the existing "norm." (Or the views of current society.)...Anyone who doesn't "go along" is in danger of being persecuted and mocked and ridiculed. (Nailed to the cross?)...No "variances" allowed! Majority rules...Life becomes a "one-way street" and demands conformity...Anyone who dares to be "different" is viewed with suspicion. And labeled a "troublemaker." (Or "freak" or "weirdo" etc.)..."Trends" come and go through the decades...What's considered "smart" and "fashionable" today might be viewed as "misguided" tomorrow. (Or in the future.)...Hard to predict how things may "go." I've definitely seen a lot of "shifts" during my lifetime. (And I don't think we've reached the "end of the line.")

I enjoy being with people who look for reasons to be happy. (No matter what...Despite their circumstances in life.)...Sure we're all going to feel "down" at times or even sorry for ourselves etc...But I don't want to stay in a "funk" forever and ever and make myself (and everyone around me) miserable...I've been around some very wealthy people who don't seem all that happy...And I've been around so-called "poor people" who get excited over simple little things and count their blessings on a regular basis...My friend's husband got laid-off and he was out of work for months. Money was tight...But everytime I went to see my friend and her husband I felt "uplifted." (Because they pulled together and tried to make the best of things.)... And still made time for fun and play and a little "flirting" with each other. (Even though they've been married for 15 years!)

I wasn't looking for love when I met my husband and he wasn't looking for a mate either. So we were happy just being friends with no push or pressure for "more."...He was busy "finding himself" after being married for 20 years. (The first time around.)...I was working and taking 12 units in college each semester and playing "mom" to my growing sons...We were just happy and grateful that we "clicked" so well (as friends) and enjoyed the time we spent together with no thought about falling in love...But 2 years later we did fall in love. (It was unexpected but nice!)...Since I can't see myself "formally dating" for years (or ever) I might run into a man someday and we'll just become friends. (Like I was friends with my husband at first.) And maybe love will enter the picture down the road. (Or not!) But I always enjoy having close friends.