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Topic: One man's prude is another man's principled person
TawtStrat's photo
Thu 03/14/13 03:58 AM
In another thread I put forward the proposition that in a dating situation you can raise the subject of sex to find out how much of a prude you are dealing with. I do this in order to find out how much fun someone is. It is a compatibility issue. I don't really get on with women that are no fun and uptight.

If a person has hangups about sex it might be argued that this is because they have principles and that they do not consider it to be an appropriate topic of conversation but this is why it is important to only bring the topic up when you think that it is appropriate to do so. I am making the claim that it is appropriate to bring up the topic in a dating situation to find out how much fun somebody is.

Am I being too picky?


Conrad_73's photo
Thu 03/14/13 05:20 AM

In another thread I put forward the proposition that in a dating situation you can raise the subject of sex to find out how much of a prude you are dealing with. I do this in order to find out how much fun someone is. It is a compatibility issue. I don't really get on with women that are no fun and uptight.

If a person has hangups about sex it might be argued that this is because they have principles and that they do not consider it to be an appropriate topic of conversation but this is why it is important to only bring the topic up when you think that it is appropriate to do so. I am making the claim that it is appropriate to bring up the topic in a dating situation to find out how much fun somebody is.

Am I being too picky?


make sure you have your Crash-Helmet along with you!laugh

GreenEyes48's photo
Thu 03/14/13 05:42 AM
I would be uncomfortable if a man started talking about sex early-on...A man like this might classify me as a "prude." But I'm sure I'd put him in a "derrogative category" too and rule-out any further dates...I'd consider him a "one-track" thinker who was primarily after sex and not much else...Someone may not want to talk about sex early-on with just anybody..But this doesn't necessarily mean that this person is a "prude" or "frigid" in bed when they are with the "right person."...I've run into some men who felt uncomfortable discussing sex with anyone and everyone too. And I didn't automatically conclude that these men were "prudes." I felt that they had standards and boundaries and "good taste."...I don't think that sex is bad or nasty or "dirty" or anything like this! But I just prefer to wait until the time "feels right" with someone to openly discuss sex.

RainbowTrout's photo
Thu 03/14/13 05:44 AM

In another thread I put forward the proposition that in a dating situation you can raise the subject of sex to find out how much of a prude you are dealing with. I do this in order to find out how much fun someone is. It is a compatibility issue. I don't really get on with women that are no fun and uptight.

If a person has hangups about sex it might be argued that this is because they have principles and that they do not consider it to be an appropriate topic of conversation but this is why it is important to only bring the topic up when you think that it is appropriate to do so. I am making the claim that it is appropriate to bring up the topic in a dating situation to find out how much fun somebody is.

Am I being too picky?




You might need a sexorcism. laugh

sexorcism

A religious ceremony created to forever banish sexual activity from human experience. See marriage
He felt the otherworldly power of the sexorcism the moment she said "I do".

Dodo_David's photo
Thu 03/14/13 05:54 AM

I would be uncomfortable if a man started talking about sex early-on...A man like this might classify me as a "prude." But I'm sure I'd put him in a "derrogative category" too and rule-out any further dates...I'd consider him a "one-track" thinker who was primarily after sex and not much else.


In other words, a woman might learn just how sexually unprincipled that a man is if the man starts talking about sex at the wrong time.

Got it.

Dodo_David's photo
Thu 03/14/13 05:58 AM


In another thread I put forward the proposition that in a dating situation you can raise the subject of sex to find out how much of a prude you are dealing with. I do this in order to find out how much fun someone is. It is a compatibility issue. I don't really get on with women that are no fun and uptight.

If a person has hangups about sex it might be argued that this is because they have principles and that they do not consider it to be an appropriate topic of conversation but this is why it is important to only bring the topic up when you think that it is appropriate to do so. I am making the claim that it is appropriate to bring up the topic in a dating situation to find out how much fun somebody is.

Am I being too picky?





You might need a sexorcism. laugh

sexorcism

A religious ceremony created to forever banish sexual activity from human experience. See marriage
He felt the otherworldly power of the sexorcism the moment she said "I do".


Dude, if you believe that marriage diminishes sexual activity, then you must have had a bad marital experience. My late wife and I had a very active sex life with each other.

oldsage's photo
Thu 03/14/13 06:05 AM
Like so many things in life, this boils down to; "Different Strokes for Different Folks"

Every individual has their own approach to everything. When you bring up a subject, is YOUR choice. If it offends someone, that is for them to handle, AS they will.

OPINION

FearandLoathing's photo
Thu 03/14/13 07:02 AM
"So how big are ya?"

...It can get awkward quick.

no photo
Thu 03/14/13 08:50 AM

Like so many things in life, this boils down to; "Different Strokes for Different Folks"

Every individual has their own approach to everything. When you bring up a subject, is YOUR choice. If it offends someone, that is for them to handle, AS they will.

OPINION


This is so true Don and I happen to lean toward Twat's reasoning about and reasons for talking about sex...I don't think he is being picky, just practical and proactive ...When I was young, very young, I didn't discuss it because I didn't know how...I was intimidated and I didn't want to appear stupid or ill informed (which I was!!laugh )...In todays world, R rated communication is a given...Talking about it in small intimate groups with close friends is not a problem as long as it is not the only topic and it is talked about intelligently and with respect to current circumstances of all present....As for talking about it in a relationship, I consider it a positive component to achieving a healthy relationship prior to, during, post intimacy...Obviously, how and when sex is discussed would be different in each relationship...

ViaMusica's photo
Thu 03/14/13 08:52 AM

Like so many things in life, this boils down to; "Different Strokes for Different Folks"

Every individual has their own approach to everything. When you bring up a subject, is YOUR choice. If it offends someone, that is for them to handle, AS they will.

OPINION


THIS.

Seriously. Even early on, if we've been talking and conversing for a while, laughing and trading stories about our youth... if in the general run of conversation a guy asked me something like, "How old were you when you lost your virginity?" I wouldn't be offended. In fact, I've actually had this happen on a second date, and also in a phone conversation with someone I met online but didn't meet in person. (I won't say 'never' as I suppose I could bump into him at the grocery store next month; who knows? Life is bizarre that way.) It came up as a normal part of conversation, nothing pervy or anything, and was just another fact we traded about ourselves.

Maybe because I'm fairly open about all kinds of things and regard sex as a natural part of life -- I don't see it as something holy and separate -- I'm not offended by discussing it as long as the guy doesn't come across as creepy or like he's trying to pressure me. I have a lot of male friends, and we're close enough that we fake flirt and crack sexual jokes with each other, so perhaps that just means I'm relaxed about it? Doesn't mean I'm sleeping with them, or that I'll randomly fall into bed with just anyone, but I'm fine with discussing it, and early on in a dating situation.

*shrug* Your mileage may vary, void where prohibited, and please drive safely. :wink:

jacktrades's photo
Thu 03/14/13 09:13 AM

Like so many things in life, this boils down to; "Different Strokes for Different Folks"

Every individual has their own approach to everything. When you bring up a subject, is YOUR choice. If it offends someone, that is for them to handle, AS they will.

OPINION

I agree with this. I don't think your being picky. Your just being yourself which is fine. Myself I prefer to wait until things are a little farther on.I also believe that even a conversation will not judge a persons likes or dislikes, most people have things "hidden" in their minds that they don't revel to others.

Toodygirl5's photo
Thu 03/14/13 11:59 AM

In another thread I put forward the proposition that in a dating situation you can raise the subject of sex to find out how much of a prude you are dealing with. I do this in order to find out how much fun someone is. It is a compatibility issue. I don't really get on with women that are no fun and uptight.

If a person has hangups about sex it might be argued that this is because they have principles and that they do not consider it to be an appropriate topic of conversation but this is why it is important to only bring the topic up when you think that it is appropriate to do so. I am making the claim that it is appropriate to bring up the topic in a dating situation to find out how much fun somebody is.

Am I being too picky?




I think a person should bring up whatever is important to them, that they want to know, from the person they plan to date. I let men know, I do not have sex on a date, upfront before I ever meet in person. Many my age say, that is fine. I ask lots of questions before meeting, and I have had no problem meeting a few real nice men in person off paid sites.

no photo
Thu 03/14/13 12:03 PM
Questions about sex before I even know their name is too soon. However, I am not going to be interested in someone who is going to hold out until marriage to have sex.

What works for one person may not work for another. Not wanting to be with someone who is uptight about sex is not being picky.

no photo
Thu 03/14/13 12:28 PM

Questions about sex before I even know their name is too soon. However, I am not going to be interested in someone who is going to hold out until marriage to have sex.

What works for one person may not work for another. Not wanting to be with someone who is uptight about sex is not being picky.


:thumbsup:

GreenEyes48's photo
Thu 03/14/13 12:49 PM
I haven't been part of the modern dating scene. My husband and I were together and married for decades. (And I haven't felt like dating since he passed-away.)...If I did go on a date and a man brought-up sex right away it would "spook" me...Mostly I'm a loner and don't see friends all the time.. My female friends have been married for eons. (Like I was.)...We talk about a wide range of topics. (Not just "female stuff.") But we don't have conversations about sex...The funny thing is that I grew-up in the 60's. (The hippie and "free love" era. Plus all the social revolutions got started back then etc.)...I was more of a "free-spirit" when I was younger. But it wasn't the norm to have open discussions about sex (per se) among my friends...So all of this seems a bit foreign to me...Life was easier and simplier when my husband was alive and we hibernated in our "cave" and just lived life "our way!"

Dodo_David's photo
Thu 03/14/13 02:18 PM

In another thread I put forward the proposition that in a dating situation you can raise the subject of sex to find out how much of a prude you are dealing with. I do this in order to find out how much fun someone is. It is a compatibility issue. I don't really get on with women that are no fun and uptight.


huh Define "no fun and uptight".

ViaMusica's photo
Thu 03/14/13 02:29 PM

huh Define "no fun and uptight".

There is no universal definition for that. Like beauty, it's in the eye of the beholder. What one person sees as "no fun" or "uptight" another will find to be exactly what they want.

Some things really *are* subjective.

Dodo_David's photo
Thu 03/14/13 03:02 PM


huh Define "no fun and uptight".

There is no universal definition for that. Like beauty, it's in the eye of the beholder. What one person sees as "no fun" or "uptight" another will find to be exactly what they want.

Some things really *are* subjective.


Plenty of women are capable of having fun without having to "put out" sexually. Sex may be fun, but "fun" doesn't require sex. So, how does one decide whether or not a woman is "fun"?

ViaMusica's photo
Thu 03/14/13 03:13 PM



huh Define "no fun and uptight".

There is no universal definition for that. Like beauty, it's in the eye of the beholder. What one person sees as "no fun" or "uptight" another will find to be exactly what they want.

Some things really *are* subjective.


Plenty of women are capable of having fun without having to "put out" sexually. Sex may be fun, but "fun" doesn't require sex. So, how does one decide whether or not a woman is "fun"?

Okay, at this point I have to ask: Why do you keep insisting that everyone has to adhere to the same standards YOU do?

Nobody has said that "fun" requires sex. But most of us, men and women, prefer to date people whose attitudes regarding sex (and other things, for that matter) match well with their own. If your attitude toward sex is "not outside marriage" then a "fun" woman for you will share that attitude and you wouldn't enjoy being with one who didn't want to wait. Similarly, if someone else's attitude is more casual, they will want someone whose attitude matches their own, and wouldn't enjoy being with partner who insisted on marriage first. I really don't know why you seem to find this so hard to grasp.

For me, a man is "fun" if his attitudes match mine on the things I enjoy or consider important. I enjoy sex, and I consider it important. If I were a man, I'd be saying the same about women... so there's your answer, I think.

willing2's photo
Thu 03/14/13 05:04 PM
Edited by willing2 on Thu 03/14/13 05:05 PM


This is so true Don and I happen to lean toward Twat's reasoning about and reasons for talking about sex...I don't think he is being picky, just practical and proactive ...When I was young, very young, I didn't discuss it because I didn't know how...I was intimidated and I didn't want to appear stupid or ill informed (which I was!!laugh )...In todays world, R rated communication is a given...Talking about it in small intimate groups with close friends is not a problem as long as it is not the only topic and it is talked about intelligently and with respect to current circumstances of all present....As for talking about it in a relationship, I consider it a positive component to achieving a healthy relationship prior to, during, post intimacy...Obviously, how and when sex is discussed would be different in each relationship...

Who said what?:wink: smokin

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