I got engaged to a phenomenal guy! In my life's chaos, I found clarity.

I posted this under the "Cute or Sweet Thread" & Didn't realize there were 2 threads like this going... so at the risk of repeating myself:

My 4 year old asked for a Ken doll for Christmas. I asked her why and she said so that Barbie had a boyfriend. So I asked her what Barbie would do with her boyfriend and she said "Marry Him" and then I said "Which (of your 12 Barbies) would Ken marry" and she said "All of them!" And I said "Oh, really?!" and she said "Yes, cuz they are friends, mommy and nice friends share."


And when my son (now 7) was 5 and in Kindergarten, I had him practice writing before he started going to school. He did the work messy and sloppy... but he was 5... so at least he made the effort. 2 weeks into the school year, he brings me papers he's done with the most BEAUTIFUL & Neat handwriting and so I had to ask him why he made it all messy for me but perfect for his teacher... and he very matter of factly stated "Mommy, no matter what, you're always going to be my mommy. But the teacher... well, if I don't do good, she will fail me. And we can't have that!"

Well... here's another point to be made about living at home:

At the end of January, I am moving from Illinois to Arizona. My (future) mother-in-law is really sick (growth on her brain stem) and can't be left alone because she as mini-strokes at any given point "just because"... dad-in-law has to work to pay the bills and they are still coming up short. I am moving out there to help on the homefront, and the fiance (who is overseas in the Navy) is kicking in some cash towards rent and living expenses. I will be getting a job (opposite shift of Dad-in-law) to help with money once we get situated... BUT I am planning to live with my fiance's parents until he can transfer us to be with him after our wedding in March. The kicker is, he may be going to Iraq in the Fall... if that happens, my kids and I will be at the in-laws for at least a year.

Would you consider that imposing and mooching if we stay over a year, if we are helping financially and physically?

(For those who need to know prior to answering: I will have a queen size bed... )

5 or 6 for Donnar

Nothing wrong with a twin bed. As previously stated- I sleep on a couch. It's the guy living at home that is usually the disturbing part for me.

Well at least it came in the wrapper. It's just good common sense to through away anything that doesn't come in a wrapper... (that's what they teach us as kids regarding halloween candy anyway).

I'm going through a similar situation in my own life... but I am the daughter running off to get married.

As parents, we don't have to like our children's decisions, but burning bridges is never a good thing. You don't have to like what she did, but respect it. Her actions were done with intention to make her happy... not to hurt you. And as parents, all we ever really want is for our children to be happy.

8 or 9 easily.

In some cases, yes.


But my point of view is simply this:
If I, as a single mom of 2, getting no help from the ex, can manage my life and support myself and provide a good living for myself and my children, then a single guy with NO dependents should be able to support himself too. All too many times do the guys run across the gold diggers and the girls run across the adult child scenario... my thinking is- I can take care of me and my own. You take care of you... THEN, if it works out, we know we are capable of taking care of each other.

Eeeeewwww! Condom flavor!

I lived at home for awhile after my kids were around while I got back on my feet from my divorce.

And I know that some people who still live at home do so to help their parents with bills and such... nothing wrong with making everyone's lives easier.

I did however, briefly, date a guy who lived with his father. Dad did the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and paid all the bills. The ex drank away his paycheck every night at the bar he worked at. As soon as I realized what was going on, I broke up with him.

If he were lazy or refused to get a job or still lived at home because he needed mommy to cook for him and clean up after him- HELL NO I WOULDN'T DATE him.

Twin bed- who cares?
I'm completely independent and I sleep on a couch. I can only afford a 2 bedroom, so my kids each have a room and I sleep in the living room. Then agian, I have no need for "bedroom privacy" at the moment because my man is overseas...

My son has taken Dramamine before... no hyper activity.
AllSmiles... I should just get a zookeeper to tranq them out for me, huh? LOL
We've taken shorted bus and car trips to Madison, WI from Chicago (about a 3 hour drive)... and they handle that well. I know this is much longer, but we should be ok.

I do not have a sleeper car... it was $700 more and I couldn't afford it. Yes, Michelle... this is the big move... mom-in-law is really ill so the move had to be bumped up from beginning of March.

We are taking Amtrak. It's a 31 hour train ride... they have a dining car and a snack car... so I can pack some stuff, but we will have the option for the train amenities as well.

We have a few travel board games... and my son has a Nintendo DS (he hasn't been allowed to play it due to school issues for about 3 months... so it should keep him busy). My daughter will color for hours. I've also gotten them portable CD players and my brother has made them each a few mix discs of kids songs and kid-appropriate songs that they like. We have new books to read, too... so I think the time will be spent well. Once we get out of the midwest, I think their little faces will be glued to the windows in awe of the scenery, too.

I'm very excited. With life as is now, I haven't had as much time with them as I'd like... so I think this train ride will be a great bonding experience.

The other great thing is that our train departs at 3:15pm on the 29th and arrives at 9:50pm on the 30th... SO, for a good 8-9 hours, they will be sleeping. (my intention is to run them around at an indoor play place prior to departure).

You guys have all offered some great advice! Thanks so much!

My 7 year old is a Gemini and my 4 year old is a Sagittarius fiance is a Taurus... and as stated, I am an Aquarius... we are gonna have an interesting household!!! LOL

Lol... I will have "cyber" kisses from my sailor... he will be on duty that night so I will see him online. (He is 15 hours ahead of me.... so we get to have New Years twice!)

I am not mid-life yet... but I definitely am experiencing the effects of age (as a result of 2 pregnancies)...
I'm still the same me in essence... whether I am 120 lbs or 165 lbs... maybe just a bit wiser, a bit more open minded... and more responsible...
BUT, STILL the SAME ME... just a little bit more on the outside to love.

AQUARIUS

I am babysitting my son's 1/2 sister (ex's daughter)... and I will have my 2 kids here too... so the 4 of us are toasting in the new year with sparkling grape juice ...

no kisses.

Just a thought- the past is the past... I still have communication with a few of my exes... and no guy will ever tell me who I can and cannot associate with...
Take me for who I am and what I am, not where I've been. I believe that this should also apply to our military personnel. They are people too... and deserve a hell of a lot more credit than most are willing to give. These men and women give up THEIR lives so that WE can live... they serve and protect and sacrifice. I think it's awful that the people they leave back home play games and sneak around. TRUE- it's a tough job to make a military relationship work... BUT DON'T COMMIT TO IT IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT!
I am living through this now. It is one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. My friends and family ridicule me every day over my "phantom engagement with some sailor overseas"... Don't you think he'd be there if he could?

But just as a single parent must put their kids first and foremost in life and relationships, someone in the Military must also put their duty above all else...

It takes a great deal of patience, trust, understanding and communication to handle this...

some people can't handle such intensity.

Nativegod, I give you a LOT of credit and give my gratitude to you, my friend, for your service and sacrifice.

How many Emo kids does it take to change a light bulb?




41...

1 to change the lightbulb
20 to write about how hard it was
and
20 to write about how much they will miss the old light bulb.