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Topic:
Women
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Awww you sweet softie you.
Who is the lucky lady? |
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Topic:
She dances in the wind
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Dance beautiful you, dance!
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Topic:
What kind of book are you...
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I love this! Thank you for sharing.
 Absorb every full stop and space ....rush to start over again... Sigh... |
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Topic:
the long and short of it
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You always amaze me dear friend.
I feel you words written and see your words spoken. A rare gift and talent! |
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Topic:
Breath
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Lovely!
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Topic:
Love on mingle
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Absolutely. It was a delightful couple of years.
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The thing with love is that it is one of those words that means something different to nearly everyone. Perhaps if you got more specific about what is is you are choosing, you will be less disappointed. Choose respect, trust, honour ... Those will drive the behaviour far more predictably than love ever will. May I predict that respect, trust and honor lead to  ? Sure it can. But I can chose to be love regardless. It isn't something to find as much as something to be in my world. If i were to make it dependent upon the actions of another, I diminish it by bringing into the lower plane of polarity. I can totally love someone but not respect them and not want a relationship with them. To really love you is to love be in total caring and acceptance...not to love you because ________________...or to love you when _______________. To be in total allowance for how you show up. And to be completely free to choose for myself if I want to be with you without either of us needing to change. Love is romanticized here...if people truly loved their partner, there wouldn't be so much hate when the relationship ends. There wouldn't be the controlling to make them behave in a way that meets your approval. There would just be total caring, vulnerability, intimacy, and honour of one another. Love is one of those wonderful sounding ideals that gets misused and actually locks people up into the most limitation. If i decide that i feel better and more like me when I am with them i have begun the process of divorcing me to be with them. If I decide that i feel better when I am with him, I have to make sure he stays around. If I am vested in him staying around, I have to adjust my behaviour to try to control that. If I need to control that, I have lost touch with me. ...and on the cycle goes... It is subtle and completely played out in the subconscious while the cute cognitive mind finds nice sounding justifications and rationalizations. Most people function with that as their reality. It just isn't the only reality. When most people fall in love they go into conclusion about the relationship. They map out their lives some distance into the future. where you go into conclusion, you limit the possibility of creating something greater. There is this expectation that if he loves me, he will stay with me forever. Or if I love him, I must stay with him forever. Where is the choice and possibility in that? Where we go into conclusion we inadvertently begin destroying the very thing we are creating. When we remain in choice we create expansion. There is a huge difference between I made a promise to be with you til death do us part ... And I am so excited that I lived another day so I have the joy of choosing you again today. ...but most people see the former as 'real' love...... I can't say I've ever tried it, but personally don't believe I can love, not romantically anyway, without respect, trust and honor. I can feel any or all of these things for someone without loving them, but have never been in love with someone who did not inspire that particular threesome as well as reflecting them back to me. It is definitely possible to create a conscious marriage ... And yes, I agree, that cannot happen without the other pieces. I would never be in a romantic relationship without trust, respect, honour, intimacy and caring. But I can also love my aunt and honour her without respecting her, without trusting her and without feeling obligated to spend any time around her. I have too much care for me than to place myself in the path of abuse. I can't change her nor would I require that of her. We are all amazing beings in choice. She just doesn't realize that she has another choice. i can still love her and not be in judgment of her. Nice to 'virtually' meet you Cynderella.
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Topic:
how do i meet a cougar
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You will find them in the Americas ... Anywhere from the Canadian Yukon to the South American Andes. They live in both mountainous regions and deserts.
While they prefer areas with dense underbrush and rocky areas for hunting, they can also live in open areas. They are territorial and tend to be quite reclusive. |
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Edited by
ArtGurl
on
Wed 05/01/13 10:17 PM
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The thing with love is that it is one of those words that means something different to nearly everyone. Perhaps if you got more specific about what is is you are choosing, you will be less disappointed. Choose respect, trust, honour ... Those will drive the behaviour far more predictably than love ever will. May I predict that respect, trust and honor lead to ? Sure it can. But I can chose to be love regardless. It isn't something to find as much as something to be in my world. If i were to make it dependent upon the actions of another, I diminish it by bringing into the lower plane of polarity. I can totally love someone but not respect them and not want a relationship with them. To really love you is to love be in total caring and acceptance...not to love you because ________________...or to love you when _______________. To be in total allowance for how you show up. And to be completely free to choose for myself if I want to be with you without either of us needing to change. Love is romanticized here...if people truly loved their partner, there wouldn't be so much hate when the relationship ends. There wouldn't be the controlling to make them behave in a way that meets your approval. There would just be total caring, vulnerability, intimacy, and honour of one another. Love is one of those wonderful sounding ideals that gets misused and actually locks people up into the most limitation. If i decide that i feel better and more like me when I am with them i have begun the process of divorcing me to be with them. If I decide that i feel better when I am with him, I have to make sure he stays around. If I am vested in him staying around, I have to adjust my behaviour to try to control that. If I need to control that, I have lost touch with me. ...and on the cycle goes... It is subtle and completely played out in the subconscious while the cute cognitive mind finds nice sounding justifications and rationalizations. Most people function with that as their reality. It just isn't the only reality. When most people fall in love they go into conclusion about the relationship. They map out their lives some distance into the future. where you go into conclusion, you limit the possibility of creating something greater. There is this expectation that if he loves me, he will stay with me forever. Or if I love him, I must stay with him forever. Where is the choice and possibility in that? Where we go into conclusion we inadvertently begin destroying the very thing we are creating. When we remain in choice we create expansion. There is a huge difference between I made a promise to be with you til death do us part ... And I am so excited that I lived another day so I have the joy of choosing you again today. ...but most people see the former as 'real' love...... |
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The thing with love is that it is one of those words that means something different to nearly everyone. Perhaps if you got more specific about what is is you are choosing, you will be less disappointed.
Choose respect, trust, honour ... Those will drive the behaviour far more predictably than love ever will. |
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Topic:
Finding LOVE??
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Nah I don't expect to find it. When I just BE love...it always finds me!
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Hello and welcome!
 All the best in your search. I'm sure you'll meet many possibilities to explore. |
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Topic:
Who is a real man?
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anyone with an XY chromosome?
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Topic:
Is writing style important?
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For the most part, I am quite fluent in typonese. I do, however, find a lot of errors distracting.
And text speak just annoys me. Not the lol's or smily faces but complete sentences that leave me wishing I could buy a vowel are just painful. I don't tend to stick with those conversations. |
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Topic:
What's your type?
Edited by
ArtGurl
on
Tue 04/30/13 04:45 PM
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Male ... and smart... and respectful......and sense of humour...and curls my toes
 My guy doesn't look like anyone I've ever dated before. I don't have a 'type'. I gratefully received him (and the ones before him) however they showed up physically. |
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I agree Harmony and Txs - civility will take you far!
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extremely important that my kids like spending time with my partner. and that she enjoys spending time with them as well. at least now it does. when they become adults and they're out on their own it won't be as important. Yes, I can see that being very important to you! I know it would be to me if I had children.  |
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hello again yellowrose
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Hey there Txs - nice to see you
I agree. I've known people who refuse to date people who their family and friends don't want to spend time with even though they really liked the person. And I've known people who have spent Christmas apart because they both felt obligated to different family members. I find it interesting and am curious how many people actually spend more energy justifying their family and friend's reality than their own. |
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Edited by
ArtGurl
on
Tue 04/30/13 10:26 AM
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Money doesn't buy happiness...it affords you choices. Access to education, experiences and sometimes it opens doors that would otherwise be closed to you.
But as Jim Carrey so aptly put it ... “I hope everybody could get rich and famous and will have everything they ever dreamed of, so they will know that it's not the answer.” A lack of money, however, can certainly be a catalyst for stress and worry which can be happiness snuffers if you allow it. Money is wonderful but it is just a tool not a solution. |
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