Take a couple of whole months, clean them thoroughly of all Bitterness,
Rumors, Hate and Jealousy; in other words, make them as fresh and as
clean as possible.

Now cut each month into 28, 30 or 31 different parts...

But don't make up the whole batch at once..
Instead prepare it One Day At A Time.
Mix well each day:

One part of Faith,
One of Patience,
One of Courage,
One of Work,
Add one part each of:

Hope,
Faithfulness,
Generosity
Kindness;
Blend with:

One part Prayer,
One part Meditation
Good Deeds.
Season the whole with:

a dash of Good Spirit,
a sprinkle of Fun,
a pinch of Play
a cupful of Good Humor.
Pour all of this into a Vessel Of Love,

Cook thoroughly over Radiant Joy

Garnish with Smiles
serve with Quietness, Unselfishness and Cheerfulness
And you are bound to have a Happy Life.

A man was exploring caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found

a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone

had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn't

look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of

the cave with him.


As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a

time out into the ocean as far as he could. He thought little about it,

until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock.

Inside was a beautiful, precious stone!


Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each

contained a similar treasure. He found thousands of dollars worth of

jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left. Then it struck him. He

had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the

clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of

thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of

thousands, but he had just thrown it away!


It's like that with people. We look at someone, maybe even ourselves,

and we see the external clay vessel. It doesn't look like much from the

outside. It isn't always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it. We

see that person as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish

or well known or wealthy. But we have not taken the time to find the

treasure hidden inside that person.


There is a treasure in each and every one of us. If we take the time to

get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the

way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant

gem begins to shine forth.


May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown

away a fortune in friendships because the gems were hidden in bits of

clay. May we see the people in our world as God sees them.


I am so blessed by the gems of friendship I have with each of you. Thank

you for looking beyond my clay vessel.



Pass this on to another CLAY BALL

While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden
found a Bottle along the way and picked it up.

Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a
smile said "Master, may I grant you one wish?"


"You ignorant unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know
who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything," barked
Bin Laden.

The shocked genie said "Please, I must grant you a wish or
I will be Returned to that bottle forever."

Osama thought a moment. Then grumbled about the
impertinence of
the Woman, and said "Very well, I want to awaken with
three American women in my Bed in the morning, so just do it and be
off with you!" The annoyed genie Said, "So be it!" and disappeared.

The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena
Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton.

His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no
health insurance.

God is good.

I looked over to my
left and there was a


woman


in a brand new


Cadillac


doing 65 mph


with her
face up next to her


rear view mirror


putting on her eyeliner.


I looked away


for a couple seconds


and when I looked back she was


halfway over in my lane,


still working on that makeup.


As a man,


I don't scare easily.


But she scared me so much;


I dropped


my electric shaver,


which knocked


the donut


out of my other hand.


In all
the confusion of trying


to straighten out the car


using my knees against
the steering wheel,


it knocked


mycell phone


away from my ear


which fell


into the coffee


between my legs,


splashed,


and burned


Big Jim and the Twins,


ruined the damn phone,


soaked my trousers,


and disconnected an
important call.

Damn women drivers

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and
> the
> >husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she
> sits
> >alone at a nearby table, until the wife asks, "Do you know her?"
> >
> > "Yes," sighs the husband. "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking
> right
> >after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober
> since."
> >
> > "My Goodness", says the wife, "Who would think a person could go
> on
> >celebrating that long?"

A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow
a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was
very small..

The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher: asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".



A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
what the drawing was.

The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."


Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl:
replied, "They will in a minute."



A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy
Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat
our
brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family)
answered, "Thou shall not kill."


One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had
several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette
head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of
your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then
said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown
up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael,
He's a doctor..'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher, she's dead."



A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red
in
the face..."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
positions the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted,

"Cause your feet aint empty."


The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching"

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table
was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
apples..


-------------------------------------

1. Dear God, please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter.
There is nothing good in there now. - Amanda

2. Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I asked for was a
puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.. - Joyce

3. Dear Mr. God, I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come
apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot. - Janet

4. God, I read the Bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love, Alison

5. Dear God, how did you know you were God? Who told you? - Charlene

6. Dear God, is it true my dad won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf
words in the house? - Anita

7. Dear God, I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in
the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never
do it. - Nancy

8. Dear God, I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You
really made up some good ones. I like walking on water, too. - Glenn

9. Dear God, my Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy.
How far back do you go? - Love, Dennis

10. Dear God, do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't,
who does? - Nathan

11. Dear God, did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an
accident? - Norma

12. Dear God, in Bible times, did they really talk that fancy? -
Jennifer

13. Dear God, how come you did all those miracles in the old days and
don't do any now? - Billy

14. Dear God, please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this
year. - Peter

15. Dear God, maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if
they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother. -
Larry

16. Dear God, I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet.
What's up? Don't forget. - Mark

17. Dear God, my brother told me about how you are born but it just
doesn't sound right. What do you say? - Marsha

18. Dear God, if you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new
shoes. - Barbara

19. Dear God, is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him
through the business? - Donny

20. Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God than you.
Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because
you are already God. - Charles

21. Dear God, it is great the way you always get the stars in the right
place. Why can't you do that with the moon? - Jeff

22. Dear God, I am doing the best I can. Really. - Frank

And, saving the best for last .. . ..

23. Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the
sunset you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool. - Thomas

believe- That we don't have to change friends if we
understand that friends change.

I believe- That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while and,
you must forgive them for that.

I believe- That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance. Same goes for true
love.

I believe- That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I believe- That it's taking me a long time to become
the person I want to be.

I believe- That you should always leave loved ones
with loving words. It may be the last time you see
them.

I believe- That you can keep going long after you
can't.

I believe- That we are responsible for what we do, no
matter how we feel.

I believe- That either you control your attitude or it
controls you.

I believe- That regardless of how hot and steamy a
relationship is at first, the passion fades and there
had better be something else to take its place.

I believe- That heroes are the people who do what has
to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the
consequences.

I believe- That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe- That my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.

I believe- That sometimes the people you expect to
kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you
get back up.

I believe- That sometimes when I'm angry I have the
right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right
to be cruel.

I believe- That just because someone doesn't love you
the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love
you with all they have.

I believe- That maturity has more to do with what
types of experiences you've had and what you've
learned from them and less to do with how many
birthdays have passed.

I believe- That it isn't always enough to be forgiven
by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive
yourself.

I believe- That no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe- That our background and circumstances may
have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for
who we become.

I believe- That just because two people argue, it
doesn't mean they don't love each other, and just
because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I believe- That you shouldn't be so eager to find out
a secret. It could change your life forever.

I believe- That two people can look at the exact same
thing and see something totally different.

I believe- That your life can be changed in a matter
of hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe- That even when you think you have no more
to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will
find the strength to help.

I believe- That credentials on the wall do not make
you a decent human being.

I believe- That the people you care about most life
are taken from you too soon.

I believe-That you should send this to someone that
you believe in.....I just did.

"Nothing happens in God's world by Mistake."

LOL
THAT BABY GONNA HAVE PROBLEMS

FEBRUARY = ATTITUDE
Abstract thoughts. Outgoing.Loves reality and abstract.
Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive.Fun to be around with. sexiest out of everyone.A real speed
demon.
Has more than one best friend. Able to cheer anyone up and make them
laugh. Amazing smile. An awesome kisser.
Temperamental. Honest. A very good girlfriend/boyfriend
and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends
Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the
inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone
new and realize that you are a perfect match.


LEAP YEAR BABY

THA TB KEWL 2 C HOUSE AS A MOVIE

In Louisiana, this fella, Boudreaux, had a bad vehicle accident, caused
by a truck. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was
questioning Boudreaux.

"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine"? the
lawyer asked.

Boudreaux responded, "Let me told you what happened. Me, I had jus
loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into da . . . . "

"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer
the
question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine!"?

Boudreaux said, "I had jus got Bessie into da trailer and I was driving
down da road . ."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish
the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway
Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after
the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud.
Please tell him to answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Boudreaux's answer and
said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his
favorite mule, Bessie."

Boudreaux thanked the Judge and proceeded, "I had just loaded
Bessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and was driving her down da
highway when dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop sign and
smacked my truck right in da side. Me, I was thrown into one ditch and
Bessie was thrown into da udder. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want
to move at tall. But, I could herd ole Bessie moanin and groanin. Me, I
knew she was in some kind o' terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly
after da accident, a Highway Patrolman, he came on da scene. He herd
Bessie moanin' and groanin' so, him, he went over ta her. After he took
hisself a look at her, he took out his gun and shot her between da eyes.
Den da Pa trolman came cross da road, gun in hand, and looked at me, and
said 'How are you feeling?'"

"Now what da hell would you say?!"

Quickie #1
>>
>>One day, Jay Dini came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in
>>a very
>>sexy nightie.
>>
>>"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
>>
>>So he tied her up and went fishing.
>>
>>
>>
>>Quickie #2
>>
>> A woman came home, screeching! her car into the driveway, and ran
>>into the
>>house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs,
>>"Honey,
>>pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
>>
>> The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or
>>mountain
>>stuff?"
>>
>> "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."
>>
>>
>>
>> Quickie # 3
>>
>> Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right,
>>and the
>>other is a husband.
>>
>>
>>
>>Quickie #4
>>
>> A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's
>>license. First,
>>of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed
>>him a card
>>with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?"
>>the
>>optician asked.
>>
>>"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
>>
>>
>>
>>Quickie #5
>>
>> Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I
>>must tell
>>you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
>>
>>"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of
>>chardonnay."
>>
>>
>>
>>Quickie #6
>>
>> A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
>>
>>Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
>>
>>"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
>>You're
>>cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We
>>need more
>>butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're
>>going to
>>STICK!
>>
>>
>>
>>Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when
>>you're
>>cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST
>>your
>>mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to
>>salt them.
>>Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"
>>
>>
>>
>>The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You
>>think I
>>don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
>>
>>The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels
>>like when
>>I'm driving."
>>
>>
>>
>> Quickie #7
>>
>> Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man,
>>was
>>drafted by the Army.
>>
>>On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
>>
>>That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
>>
>>On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That
>>afternoon the
>>Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
>>
>>On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has
>>been
>>looking for Herman for 51 years
>>
>>

THERE ONE THING IF U NEVER TALK TO D PERSON U NEVER KNOW ANYTHING LOL

HEY

I CON'T HAVE GO TIL AUGUST

HEY WHAT UP?

simon awesome this is kewl

IF U COULD B ANY COLOR WHAT COLOR WOULD U B ?
Y?




PURPLE, MY FAV COLOR

I COME FROM 2002