r u cryin 4 mom yet

poor babe!!!!

no barney

Housework at our house was a woman's job, but one evening, Jenny arrived
home
from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the
washer and
another in the dryer.



Dinner was on the stove, and the table set.



She was astonished!



It turns out that Ralph had read an article that said wives who work
full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have
sex.



The night went well and the next day, she told her office e friends
all
about it. "We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up. He helped the
kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I
really
enjoyed the evening."



"But what about afterward?" asked her friends.



"Oh, that ..., Ralph was too tired.."



God is good

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey named Bubba. He orders a
>drink
> > >>and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The
>monkey
> > >>grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some
> > >>sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and
> > >>grabs one of the billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks
> > >>it in his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole.
> > >>
> > >>The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just
>did?"
> > >>
> > >>"No, what?"
> > >>
> > >>"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"
> > >>
> > >>"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats
> > >>everything
>in
> > >>sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
> > >>
> > >>The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the
> > >>monkey
>
> > >>ate and leaves.
> > >>
> > >>Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with
>him.
> > >>He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
> > >>While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino
>cherry
> > >>on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and
> > >>eats
>it.
> > >>Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt,
> > >>pulls
>it
> > >>out, and eats it.
> > >>
> > >>The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
> > >>
> > >>"No, what?" replied the man.
> > >>
> > >>"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled
>them
> > >>out, and ate them!" said the bartender.
> > >>
> > >>"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "Bubba still eats
> > >>everything in sight, but ever since he had to **** that cue ball, he
> > >>measures everything first."

Last Week Was My Birthday And I Didn't Feel Very
>> Well Waking Up That Morning. I Went Downstairs For
>> Breakfast Hoping My Wife Would Be Pleasant And Say,
>> "Happy Birthday!", And Possibly Have A Present For
>> Me.
>>
>> As It Turned Out, She Barely Said Good Morning, Let
>> Alone "Happy Birthday."
>>
>> I Thought... Well, That's Marriage For You, But The
>> Kids Will Remember. My Kids Came to Breakfast And
>> Didn't Say A Word. So When I Left For The Office, I
>> Was Feeling Pretty Low And Somewhat Despondent.
>>
>> As I Walked Into My Office, My Secretary Jane Said,
>> "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday!" It Felt A
>> Little Better That At Least Someone Had Remembered.
>>
>> I Worked Until one O'clock and Then Jane Knocked On
>> My Door And Said, "You Know, It's Such A Beautiful
>> Day Outside, And It's Your Birthday, Let's Go Out To
>> Lunch, Just You And Me." I Said, "Thanks Jane ,
>> That's The Greatest Thing I've Heard All Day. Let's
>> Go!"
>>
>> We Went To Lunch. But We Didn't Go Where We Normally
>> Would Go. We Dined Instead At A Little Place With A
>> Private Table. We Had Two Martinis Each And I
>> Enjoyed The Meal Tremendously.
>>
>> On The Way Back To The Office, Jane Said, "You Know,
>> It's Such A Beautiful Day.. We Don't Need To Go Back
>> To The Office, Do We?"
>>
>> I Responded, "I Guess Not. What Do You Have In
>> Mind?"
>>
>> She Said, "Let's Go To My Apartment"
>>
>> After Arriving At Her Apartment Jane Turned To Me
>> And Said, "Boss, If You Don't Mind, I'm Going To
>> Step Into The Bedroom For A Moment. I'll Be Right
>> Back."
>>
>> "Ok." I Nervously Replied.
>>
>> She Went Into The Bedroom And, After A Couple Of
>> Minutes, She Came Out Carrying A Huge Birthday
>> Cake... Followed By My Wife, Kids, And Dozens Of My
>> Friends And Co-Workers, All Singing "Happy
>> Birthday".
>> And I Just Sat There..
>>
>> On The Couch...
>>
>> Naked.

WHA TR U SURE

THAT BLOW BIG

LOL

STEW

I ROX

:-[

NEXT

NOTHING

LOL

IS HE UR IMAGINARY FRIEND

WELL HE WAS KIDDIN