I read profiles. In fact, if someone contacts me and doesn't have a profile, that's as far as he gets with me. The profile is your opportunity to make a good first impression. If you don't care enough to make a well written profile, you miss your opportunity to share yourself with us.

I read profiles to see if we have anything in common, something we can talk about. Very rarely do I find a well-written, interesting profile. So I skip over most of the guys in my area. I did "meet" a guy the other day on another site whose profile is very well written and entertaining and quite lengthy, like mine. It was a rather refreshing read and we are exchanging emails. We have much in common and perhaps we'll meet sometime in the future.

Honestly, if you're not going to take the time to write a profile, how do you expect to get noticed? Most people don't venture to these forums, and those who do may be no where near you.

Join a local hiking group or whatever hobby you're into. Check your public library to see what concerts/activities they may have going. Ours always has plays, movies, concerts on the lawn, etc. Check out other community events in your newspaper.

Being committed means dedicating your love and your energy to something or someone. Not all committments have to be life-long or lead to marriage. I'm in no hurry to remarry, but I could be in a committed relationship for the short-term. We could commit to a monogamous relationship for a year or two and see where it leads. It doesn't have to lead to marriage or even moving in together. I may never trust anyone enough to marry again. But I can love deeply and passionately. I don't feel that the length of the committment is any indication of the depth of the committment.

Wiping out every inch of bermuda grass in my entire yard and replacing it with exotic plants and flowers. I've been at it for about 10 years now and I still don't have enough plants. So I guess I'll be visiting the nurseries again soon...

His lack of responsibility. He never did dishes, just hid them under the couch and then went to paper plates which he wouldn't throw away, hid them under the couch too. Wouldn't maintain his home, vehicles, etc. (holes in the hall floor, simply covered with carpet). Didn't mow his yard til he lost his truck out there somewhere. The biggest irresponsibility was not caring enough about his bills and children to keep a steady job. Altho he had many wonderful qualities and I loved him dearly, when we started talking marriage, I realized I just couldn't live like that.

I named all my vehicles since the very first one I got. When I worked in construction, I got a big red extended cab, long-bed Ford F150 truck. It was my first truck and I put side steps, side bars, and all kinds of accessories on it. And I called it Big Red, aka My Toy. I loved that truck.

When it died, I got a Chevy truck. A friend of mine was a hardcore Ford lover and ragged on my Chevy, telling me it wouldn't be tough enough. I named it "Tuffy".

A few years later, I traded Tuffy for a Dodge Caravan (which I've had for 11 years now). I bought the van on Halloween and it's silver. I nicknamed it the Grey Ghost and call it Casper.

My vehicles tend to last me many years, long after I have paid them off. They're part of my family, like a pet, so I always name them. It will be a sad day when Casper gives up the ghost.

It's funny how most men think "romance" is "sex" or always must lead to sex. Women can romance without sex. I view romancing myself as treating myself special just for the fun of it, because I deserve it. I treat myself to a good movie, a bubble bath with candlelight and soft music, buy myself something nice, treat myself to a special dinner, etc. often without ending up in my toy box. It rejuvenates my spirit and energizes me.

No, it's never wrong to be good to yourself, to treat yourself special. If you don't, who will?

I love clean, well-kept, stylish hair--whether long or short. I like something I can run my fingers thru. And I'd love to date a guy with really long hair that he could drag across my body. Mmmmm!

I'm not usually attracted to bald men, altho I've seen a few that were super sexy, but it was their other features (eyes, smiles) that spoke to me, so hair or no hair didn't matter.

Whatever you do, someone isn't going to like it, so do what suits you since you have to live with it 24-7.

I guess I've always hated wearing clothes. I only wear them now because I'm so out of shape. I'd love to live in a nudist colony if I had the figure for it.

My mom used to love to tell the story of my streaking thru the neighborhood when I was youngster. She'd dress me every morning and send me out to play. A little while later, one of the neighbors would call her and tell her she'd better come get me and bring some clothes--I was buck-naked. For some reason, I always stripped and tossed my clothes under the house and ran streaking thru the neighborhood. Now, I wear as few clothes as possible. And shoes, I must admit, are just a nuisance.

My Samoyed and my gardens

Does the guy want to see the child? If not, I wouldn't push anything on him. I wouldn't sue for child support if he states he's not interested in the child. If he is forced to pay child support, he may later become interested in the child and may then sue for sole custody. That's what I feared with my ex-husband. Sometimes they do it out of vindictiveness. Such court battles can be lengthy and constant source of stress, which does NOT benefit the child.

To me, the money was never important. I knew I could raise my son alone, and I did, with no regrets. My purpose was to shield my son from any stress, court battles and whatever might have come up to sabotage our happiness. I grew up watching my own parents fight over child support and I know the trauma that I experienced because of it. It went on for years and I was constantly put in the middle, having to choose one parent's side over the other. I didn't want that for my son. And since my husband wanted no ties to us, my son had a peaceful childhood without the drama.

My decision isn't right for everyone. But my point is, put your child first. If you need the money and don't think it will add stress to your child's life, then sue for it. But if it's going to cause constant drama for that child, he/she would be better off without it. Emotional security is much more important than financial security, in my opinion.

Your first responsibility is to the child. What kind of father material is this two-timing, lying, cheating jerk? Oh, well, there, I answered my own question. So, with that in mind, I'd forget the jerk and I wouldn't take his money either. I wouldn't want to have anything to do with him and wouldn't want him to have anything to do with my child.

I can say this honestly because I went thru a similar situation with my ex-husband. We separated when I got pregnant. He claimed he didn't want anything to do with our child, but I worried that one day he'd change his mind and try to get full-custody of him. When we got a divorce, I did NOT sue him for child support. I didn't think he'd be a good role model or a good influence on my son at that time. So he wanted out free and clear and I wanted all rights to my son. That was 22 years ago. When my son was 18, he located his father and had minor contact with him and formulated his own opinion. They never did bond.

I raised my son alone on a secretary's salary. We didn't have everything we wanted, but we had what we needed. If you can make it without this jerk's money, you and the child will be better off without him. Think about what is the best interest of your child in the long run.

As for telling the wife, she probably knows more than he thinks she does. In fact, that's more than likely the reason for the divorce--trust issues.

Maybe you're rushing things. Some women just like to take it slowly. After being treated like meat over and over, some women want to know that you respect them and are in it for a long term commitment rather than a romp in the sack.

If you're enjoying dating these ladies, then keep dating them. Why not just relax and enjoy their company without expectations. When the moment is right, you'll both know it and your lips will meet. I have to admit that for a guy to ask if he can kiss me is a big turnoff. I prefer an assertive guy who pays attention to the signs and seizes the moment to plant one on me. So pay attention to the signs, and when the opportunity presents itself, kiss her slowly and tenderly so that she feels down deep in her soul. Then she'll be begging for more.

I really don't mind being alone. There's a big difference between being "alone" and being "lonely". I enjoy my own company and entertain myself quite well, so being alone doesn't scare me.

However, I believe there is that ONE special person out there just for me (so, hands off of him, ladies!). And when I find him, he'll definitely be extraordinary. I've settled for less in the past; I won't do it again.

I think we all have those moments. But when you can look at your life and be grateful for even the smallest things, you snap out of it. We're given this one life and we can make it anything we want. So if it seems pointless, we need to modify our thinking and our lifestyle. It seems pointless because we've lost focus. Find a purpose. Maybe donate some time with an animal shelter or serve meals to the homeless or teach piano lessons to a "less fortunate" child. Then life will have a purpose.

Someone can have an STD and not know it. And some can be carriers and not know it and never have symptoms. And remember, AIDS kills, but before it does, it's a hell of a way to live the rest of your life. You're playing Russian Roulette if you don't insist on a test. I don't care how clean the person seems to be or how nice they are or if they have only been with one other person. When you sleep with someone, you're sleeping with everyone they slept with and everyone all those people slept with. Protect yourself.

Everyone should be tested after every partner. My last boyfriend and I went to the health dept and got tested together and received the results in front of each other. I'm not having sex with anyone who isn't willing to do so. If he doesn't care about my health, then we have no future in the bedroom.

By the way, condoms don't protect you if you have oral sex. So insist on the test.

Stay busy with lots of activities and make some new friends. I find that work of some sort is the best medicine for a broken heart.

I agree with SuzinVA. Living within your means implies that you live on the money you have. You use your money to buy what you need and, if you can afford to pay cash, you buy what you want. If you want a luxury item, you should save for it and buy it with cash instead of charging it.

I've known people who would run out and charge $1000's for their kids' Christmas presents. I never charged my son's gifts, nor did I do layaway. These are luxury items and not necessary items. He may not have had as big a Christmas as some of his friends, but I didn't have my car repossessed because I didn't know my spending limits.

To live within your means requires responsible spending. And these days, in the ME ME ME generation, responsibility is becoming a rare trait.

Hangovers are the result of toxins AND dehydration. Alcohol dehydrates the body. That's why alcoholics frequently have muscle cramps. Water, water, water. Flush out the toxins and hydrate at the same time. No coke, tea, or coffee (or alcohol of course)--they increase dehydration.