Not to minimize what you have gone through... but the person that is killed has no eyes to look into. You survived, and now you can take life and make the most of it: you can heal and turn your pain into strength. You have the opportunity to grow and become a stronger person. As does the person who attacked you has the right to reform and become a better person. It is about opportunities. No one deserves to get raped, but you can choose to turn it into a positive thing rather than a negative. That is your choice.

im NOT talking about me.

how can i LOOK into my own eyes??? impossible.

im talking about a friend of mine who was raped and ill NEVER forget the look in her eyes. im NOT talking about me at all.

Yes, and no... If you wanna stay a victim then that is your choice, but the rest of the world is going to move on without you, still your choice tho.

and as for the question of time enough to reform, that is why there are minimum and maximum sentences in place for violations of the law. these are not random things that some random person put in place. The punishment fits the crim, and judges have those parameters to work in when doleing out sentences.

No nothing will bring back someone who was brutally murdered, hence why First degree murder gets more of a sentence than man slaughter. If I am driving down the road and hit a patch of ice and hit a child, that is manslaughter, which the victims family should understand that it was not my intention for their loss, however if I plot to murder someone and take painstaking efforts to do so... that is first degree murder and holds a higher sentence, and rightfully so.

i can see what your saying, but im sorry, i CANT find anything posotive to say about what happened to me.

but how long ago did it happen? do her eyes look the same 10 years later? there should be a huge difference in that.

just because some people NEVER HEAL, it DOESNT mean they cant lead a normal life. i know of people who will never heal, but there still living everyday life, like everyone else.

everyones different, some peoples eyes will remain the same, others change. i would hope they would change, but the sad part is, some peoples will never change.

Debbie, please know this comes from a place of love... but if you never heal you will always be a victim.... That is power you give to someone else, why would you give someone else your power? I have had sh*tty shady things happen to me in my life, but if I let them effect me... then that azzhole wins.. and that azzhole will never win against me again... If I lead a happy life... he lost... and I will make sure everyday that he loses...... My happiness and health is a loss to him. everything can be a positive, it is how you perceive it. Life lesson, lessons about your own inner stength. Those are positive things.

maybe on the outside, but not on the inside. Pain and hurt and anger make you age, and give you health problems, and make you unhappy, even if they fake it... they are dead on the inside.

Then that is the choice that they make, happiness is a choice all you have to do is chose it. it is entirely that simple.

lily, all i can say is, im trying to, im doing my best, i cant do anymore than im already doing. i carry on with life like everyone else, if i always feel like a victum ( god i hope i dont)then theres nothing i can do about it because ive tried so hard, to change how i feel. i can only do so much.

lily i can assure you, i would love to be totally happy. doesnt everyone?? for some its harder to get there than others, but it doesnt matter if it takes 10 years to find happiness again,as long as you do.

Let me suggest this, every day when you get up, look in the mirroe, deep into your own eyes and say for 2 minutes straight... "you have no power here" repeat it over and over. Tell it to whom ever hurt you, tell it to anyone who pisses you off in a day, tell it to yourself even, becuae you are the only one who can keep you locked in your own dungeon. And that is what it is... your very own private h*ll.... you made it. You can destroy it.

Tough Topic. Having lived through it, and learned to accept it and move past it. That was my greatest reward. However, if I were ever to come face to face with any of them ( even were I to recognize them ) I can say that I would love to tell them. I wont ever forgive you, but you aren't worthy of my hate either. To hate means that you care. And honestly? It's done, cant be undone and u have to move forward. I think that they should be moved far far away from children though. My opinion is perhaps somewhat clouded since I was 4 when it started and 7 when it stopped. I'm not ashamed of it. I didnt do anything wrong. Just my views

lils with me,i think i know what the problem is,

i do get help of proffesionals, i can tell them bits about it, but some parts i will NEVER ever be able to tell them or anyone. i cant bear saying those words to someone, he said while he did that to me. to hear those words come out my own mouth, and someone elses would destroy me, even though there trying to help. thats my problem lils, i cant talk about it, and the things that screw my head up the most are the things i cant talk about.

Well how about women who rape children should their vagina's bee sewn shut and their breast removed.

yes of course, it DOESNT matter if the offender is male or female, they both deserve the SAME punishment. why would it be any different??

I think they have something for female dogs, called spaying.

correct, i dont understand why people think you would get treated differently if your female, and done the same thing as a male.