I know thar was a worm in thar somwhar

Gotta go do some chores

be back after bit

Night all!

Night Polson

g'nite poison

Attractive Male Faces

UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and has a bat where the sun don't shine while he's on fire.







Sounds like my X she had 24/7/365 PMS

(((((((dc))))))

HIDIN' but fluttering
here and there...

Blonde with Money

A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy.

The brunette replied, "I think I'll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?"

The blonde said, "I think I'm gonna buy a new butt, because my old one has an enormous crack in it."

Another Dumb Blonde

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting:

''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

Just makin the rounds...

(((dc)))

Good ta see ya (((((sprite))))))

((((bug))))

<---swoops in and wraps (((dc)))
in her wings and gives him a big ol' kiss

Thanks for being such a wonder~filled
friend...

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.” The first man said.“You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife,”
The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

Adopted Twins


A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

Ok ya'll gonna love this 1

Van Gogh's Family Tree


- His dizzy aunt - Verti Gogh
- The brother who ate prunes - Gotta Gogh
- The brother who worked at a convenience store - Stop an Gogh
- The grandfather from Yugoslavia - U Gogh
- The cousin from Illinois - Chica Gogh
- His magician uncle - Where-diddy Gogh
- His Mexican cousin - A mee Gogh
- The Mexican cousin's American half-brother - Ring Gogh
- The nephew who drove a stage coach - Wells-far Gogh
- The constipated uncle - Cant Gogh
- The ballroom dancing aunt - Tang Gogh
- The bird lover uncle - Flaming Gogh
- His nephew psychoanalyst - E Gogh
- The fruit loving cousin - Man Gogh
- An aunt who taught positive thinking - Way-to Gogh
- The little bouncy nephew - Poe Gogh
- A sister who loved disco - Go Gogh
- And his niece who traveled the country in a van - Winnie Bay Gogh

They Really Do Exist

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots; so he arrests him for indecent exposure.

As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you dressed like this?

The Cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff. I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little redhead asks me to go out to her motorhome with her. So I did.

We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants...so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts ... so I did.

Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, "Now go to town, cowboy!" And here I am.

Son of a Gun, Blonde Men do exist.

LMAO

morn' bry