How do I find happiness when I'm way unattractive, if not just ugly? I think I've reach my point of no return in useless 'hope' and searching for the great escape from loneliness. For "her" to pretend her skin doesn't crawl, paying is my only recourse? Do I need to realize that I'm too unattractive for another's romantic sincerity and that my search for hearth & home is simply a mirage? Is 'it' over? Yes, I think it's over with. When my other heart died and Katrina destroyed the hearth, I kinda knew then all was over, but I foolishly kept my life's poetic side seeking. Foolish me, right? I will never wakeup and literally smell the coffee again. I emotionally didn't want my thoughts of her to end nor coming home to her to end, so after the first 5 years of unhappiness there still was hope in wanting the return of what was lost. But now 16 years later, the wonderlust is drained of it's poetic side. So now I smell the coffee Death has handed me. Even though the smell is off, I think I'm still going to sip...

Candy's dandy...
But, liquor's quicker.

Horsepuckey. Big world -lots of people.
Don't assume what others might think, feel -or even see when they look at you. That is not fair to them -even if many would not be attracted. Get out of your own way -and theirs. You don't need to find yourself attractive.

Go downtown -wherever -and do some couple-watching.
Give it enough time and you will be saying "What are they doing with that person?" a whole lot.
It won't make sense to YOU what some see in others -but it does not have to make sense to you.

The poster talking about Asia has a point, too -as different cultures are taught to see beauty and attractiveness differently -and to see different aspects of a person as important.

Is there a topic? Is there a question....

Not really, he's playing the pity-party angle.

I think he 'looks' just like any other older man with a lil gray in his beard.

His turbin might be having a greater affect than his 'looks'.

But hey, "Oh, Woe is Me" tactics do work sometimes.
Not sure if I would want the type of woman that attracts but he's desperate.

To the OP:
If there's truth in your statements you might want to look into building healthy self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem attracts people of higher calibur.

Or...you could find a mommy to kiss yer boo-boo and make you all better.

For the OP... sounds like you have to take your time to heal properly from the partner you lost.
You cannot expect to successfully find new love when your heart is still full with pain for another woman.

Time to heal? How does one heal when one tries? Can one be too ugly to find the healing love? Society isn't barring coffee talk to everyone, but it is barring the possibility for altruistic love and "I exist" reciprocation. I'm well aware 'attractivenss' is a commodity in both genders, and that attractiveness is broad, but can one simply be too unattractive? And, yes, even an unattractive with symmetry can be loved, but can one be too ugly, non-symmetrical, for "her" non-financed attention, or is it that "her" heart isn't free for the unattractive? Are older women saving their last bucket-list hurrah by not settling? Are other aged woman just simply disgusted? Am I destined for an unrequited existence and, as a romantic, experiencing love is only by watching others, as a tear runs down one's eye?

Don't think it is just you!! What you describe is a common affliction of older men. It seems that many of us are destined to spend our last years seeking but not finding.

I'm 63,widowed 3 yrs and finding the exact same problem as most of these older guys...I don't seem to be attractive to even women my age. Please don't say it's because I have low self esteem or want too much, because I like ME just fine and I would just like to find a lady who likes at least some of the things I do (the rest can always be negotiated or compromised.) IMHO, because I'm REAL, outspoken about it, and am not a social media junkie, or willing to play Sugar Daddie games,and because looks seem to be the ONLY thing most people (men as well as women) look at,I'm starting to think I just don't stand a chance.

I'm 55 and can see some writing on the wall though I like to act like I can't interpret it. I guess Clint said it well with the line about a man needed to know his limitations. As for me I get better each day, that's each day I get about half to three quarters lit !

Geeze as one of the older men I think maybe the complainers here should get off the internet and turn off the tv and go do the things that interest you. I have no trouble getting dates but I don't sit at home feeling sorry for myself hoping Ms Perfect is going to dm me at any moment.

I suspect most of us just live our lives as we choose and do not waste the time feeling sorry for ourselves. The difference may be where our lifestyles differ and the geographic area we call home or areas where we visit. Those who live close to a large metro area have a much better opportunity to meet possible interests than those of us where the supply is significantly constrained.

@quasimodo .. If I remember correctly . Your introductory post was also about how you felt unattractive . Seems like little has changed . How you see yourself can influence how others see you. I think the help and guidance you need is beyond the scope of this forum . Perhaps consider professional counselling . Best of luck

Have a shave bro...it'll take years off your face...the Turban I can totally understand that it has to stay...give it a try and see what happens

...and what's this 'ugly' crap...bro, I'm nearly as old as you..been a widower since 2011 and as far as I'm concerned..looks come 2nd..Tis the personality of one that attracts me 1st and foremost