First of all I'm sorry for my English skills .. You see in nowdays we use apps like this to meet new people but the problem is we unconsciously judge people based on their pictures .. It took a few miliseconds to make an idea about a profile .. Unfortunately we don't have a second chance to make a first impression & The first contact is visual .. Do you think that's a kind of disqualification ? or just a natural selection and that's how human being is made ... I'm saying this because since I've sign up I have issues approaching girls from all over the world yeah I've tried a lot .. I mean yeah I may be ugly but come on I deserve a chance no ?

I have been called "Handsome" and "Adorably Cute" by Many females here. UNTIL I request they prove they are the females in the photos they are using. Then those Same Females Start calling me "Too Old, Fat and Ugly" and other nastiness.
And if I contact them first, they ask "What gives you the F'n right to text me?" Because they are on a Dating site....... they also ask "Why the F* should I prove I am the person in my photo?"...
Then you got those who Purposely use the worst photo they have or could use, that makes them look like Crack/Meth heads, pissed off, Frowning and other completely stupid s*** and wonder why no one contacts them. And you have to wonder WTF are they doing on a dating site if they are going to use those kinds of photos.
I do and don't go by looks. There has to be something there or it has to be in the eyes, but with soo many using those F'n Filters to make their eyes all F'd up.... Makes you wonder.
I know I am not the best looking guy here but I also know, no 20 something Beautiful Bombshell would contact me or be interested in me, so when one does and calls me "Handsome", I know right away they are a P.O.S Scammer.

when we first meet some one all we have to go on is there appearance. body

language. healthy people are good to themselves and they take care of

themselves....even people we think we know have hidden agenda's ..... so

appearance is very important for at least a starter. on a bigger picture there

is a lot social intercourse out there....every group has there good, bad, and

ugly....chill and enjoy the show its everywhere these days....you can get

conned (scammed) anywhere....i take everything with a grain of salt.....

I am less focused on attractiveness than I am on cleanliness. I am more likely to respond to a less attractive man if he is well groomed and not standing in a disgustingly dirty room, wearing a stained shirt and looking nasty overall.

Nobody wants to wake up in the morning with somebody they consider "ugly" next to them.

Human beings are usually attracted to beautiful things, and yes most would probably get attracted to a beautuful face, body etc we can't see someone's personality just by looking at them, but in this superficial world it happens to be the case almost everywhere....it's best to be REAL and be yourself, love yourself first and focus on your dreams and ambitions before you even consider what others think...now I'm not saying be arrogantly selfish and what not, only to love and respect yourself first and focus on your goals...fk what others think.. just be yourself and the right people will automatically find their place in your life

Anytime someone made any sort of reference to my looks, I'd wait for the other shoe to drop. And just what do you want? It always seemed to work out that way. What did I have, or could do for them.

From a money making standpoint, skills pay. Keeps you eating, and a roof over your head. From a social position, you get looked past. Kind of, we don't need your skill set right now. We're having fun, and you're not included, because we think you're boring. But do make yourself available to us when we need you.

In this day and circumstances, it's not a bad thing to have. You can get used to it. You adjust, become self entertaining, and not be dependent on others to keep yourself amused.

Sigh...I so agree with what you wrote about appearance and cleanliness. Many do NOT get it. Many go after, state their "physical" wants, desires...that's all they see in our/my pictures...NOT wanting to read my profile...what is IMPORTANT to me...

Yep...I have said many times I don't gve a rat's patootie if a guy is good looking (by societies standards)...if we have nothing in common, or he can't hold up his end of the conversation/ engage in worthwhile conversation...doesn't share my vaulues & world view...what good would is it (the fact he looks good)?
I'm not going to date him..
IF, on the other hand...he's not all that much to look at, or homely...BUT..we have a s**t-ton in common, he has a fine mind (and some musical talent, as most people I have been with did, and the people I know do), *and* shares my world and social view and values?
I'd absolutely want to date him....

Because as I keep telling people, the older you get...one serious illness or accident...those "looks" can be ruined, and..if that is all the other person is with you for, or likes about you...well.....no thanks.
I'll wait for someone with more wisdom, and depth.

You don't want a person like that anyway.

I am reminded of the saying "love makes you blind to someone's imperfections".

I'd rather an ugly face with a beautiful heart and mind, than an attractive face with an ugly heart and mind.

Of course personality is important, but there has to be some chemistry, some attractiveness. If I don't see someone as attractive, and I do not mean someone with filmstar beauty, just someone I find attractive 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder', then it's very likely I am not going to contact them. Meeting someone only confirms a chemistry, and if you both feel the same you date to see where it goes. Dating someone will discover compatibility but it will not, in my opinion, produce a chemistry where previously none existed, there has to be something there at the start for it to grow.

I am 60, had 3 1/2 long term relsationships (7 years, 8 years, a nd 12 years..the 1/2 requires an explanation)..and I still don't have a clue what this "chemistry" is..and how it relates to looks..
The closest *my* understanding and concept of it is (and supposedly it is wrong, so say other people)..is if conversation flows easily...we have a lot in common...and being together is just "easy"...neither has to work to keep he conversation going...etc...
None of that has to do woth looks...
*I* have never equated "chemistry" with bonertingles (not that I have a boner, but..just an easy example for the purely physical)

Absolutely not. Appearance can easily change but personality hardly ever does.

Personality... you can always improve appearance easily enough.. but personality is usually to deep to change to your liking.

Anyone willing to admit it will realize appearance always initiates contact.
Personality always comes after physical attraction.
This is true in online attraction and real time f2f attraction.
To deny the reality is to embrace a delusion.
Since delusion is a lie, to deny the reality of attraction is to be lying to yourself.

If your understanding of attraction is based on a delusion (lie) anyone who denies this is lying to themselves.

It is common for women to place more emphasis on personality than appearance yet its the appearance which causes them to look at that particular personality.

So hey dude, you need to 'look' good first and 'be' good second. But, both are important in selection criteria.

Needless to say, honesty in personality usually wins affection.

No. Personality before appearance.

If, as many have suggested, personality is the determining characteristic, amongst others, and that appearance is more or less irrelevant, does that mean they believe most people will date almost anyone in order to discover the person's personality? This is not what the OP has found in his searches.

I have found there are many women whom state in their own profiles, that they will not reply to anyone who does not have a profile photo. Why is that if appearance is of so little importance in deciding to meet someone. Appearance matters in the first instance a need for chemistry for many people in my opinion.

I would suggest to the OP that he might consider going clean shaven, only because more women prefer a guy without a beard, than with a beard, appearance again, and it would improve his chances of a date. Not having a photo would drastically reduce his chances

That is because MEN *demand* a picture, so...what's good for the goose...& all that...




Nope, not necessarily..I am 60...and *all* the guys I have dated or had long terms with had facial hair..
Some women love that look...

Men are visual creatures. That's just how we're genetically wired.

With that said, I must be intellectually turned on before I even think about going to the next level.