Topic: 35 fundamental relationship tips
Michel 's photo
Sat 03/13/21 07:21 PM
Mutual respect. Respect means that each person values who the other is and understands the other person's boundaries.
Trust. Partners should place trust in each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt.
Honesty. ...
Compromise. ...
Individuality. ...
Good communication. ...Mutual respect. Respect means that each person values who the other is and understands the other person's boundaries.

Trust. Partners should place trust in each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt.

Honesty. ...

Compromise. ...

Individuality. ...

Good communication. ...

Anger control. ...

Fighting fair.



Anger control. ...

Fighting fair.
and from my own life experiences I day respect ..that mutually beneficial alliance with you and your spouse matters ... respect,,( to hold someone in high regard ..
to place them before your needs


Michel 's photo
Sat 03/13/21 07:23 PM
Mutual respect. Respect means that each person values who the other is and understands the other person's boundaries.
Trust. Partners should place trust in each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt.
Honesty. ...
Compromise. ...
Individuality. ...
Good communication. ...Mutual respect. Respect means that each person values who the other is and understands the other person's boundaries.

Trust. Partners should place trust in each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt.

Honesty. ...

Compromise. ...

Individuality. ...

Good communication. ...

Anger control. ...

Fighting fair.



Anger control. ...

Fighting fair.
and from my own life experiences I day respect ..that mutually beneficial alliance with you and your spouse matters ... respect,,( to hold someone in high regard ..
to place them before your needs

also I'm not shallow so

Poetrywriter's photo
Sat 03/13/21 07:48 PM
I didn't count 35!

no photo
Sat 03/13/21 11:36 PM
I didn't count 35!

:joy:

Mr Good Guy's photo
Sun 03/14/21 11:23 AM
Taking relationship advice from those on Mingle probably isn't the wisest idea.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sun 03/14/21 11:35 AM
Placing them before your needs is not a tip for a good relationship.
It's a good tip to ruin the relationship.

Maybe there's a difference in advise for men and women, I don't know. I do know one the the biggest mistakes many women make is to put the other before themselves and thus lose their own sense of self. They sacrifice and give and give and give.
So that is not a good tip at all.

no photo
Sun 03/14/21 11:45 AM

Taking relationship advice from those on Mingle probably isn't the wisest idea.



Should we include you in that declaration?

Acquired Taste's photo
Sun 04/04/21 10:48 AM
i counted 14 out of the alleged 35 also not well discussed...gong....darn...i am a really bad dater but am getting my first stimulus check on the 7th so you can bet 1 date and a post will happen for better or worse..think i will date a black woman not to better the human race and all but find one with a real nice booty and pretty face and see what happens...lot of them here in this town are as forward as i am or worse....

no photo
Sun 04/04/21 04:42 PM
since when the rules of ethics became tips for a relationship?
1st be a good person
then the rest comes, or may not come.

Acquired Taste's photo
Sun 04/04/21 05:07 PM
ahhh the pretty lady weighs in

motowndowntown's photo
Sun 04/04/21 09:49 PM
Relationships are like knife fights; there are no rules.

no photo
Mon 04/05/21 04:59 AM
Well. I'd say that's a fair code of conduct. Apart from the last bit.

Put someone on a pedestal, and they will look down on you in time.
And take advantage.

Male or female.

it's just human nature.

Leo's photo
Mon 04/05/21 06:25 PM

Placing them before your needs is not a tip for a good relationship.
It's a good tip to ruin the relationship.

Maybe there's a difference in advise for men and women, I don't know. I do know one the the biggest mistakes many women make is to put the other before themselves and thus lose their own sense of self. They sacrifice and give and give and give.
So that is not a good tip at all.



Been there and done that; and have huge regrets but ........learned

Trixie's photo
Tue 04/06/21 02:50 AM
:heart: We are all individual and have experienced different things in the course of our lives, so what advice works for one person/couple won’t necessarily work for another. Above all we have to be honest with each other and learn to grow together to make it work.:heart:

Tom4Uhere's photo
Tue 04/06/21 08:44 AM

:heart: We are all individual and have experienced different things in the course of our lives, so what advice works for one person/couple won’t necessarily work for another. Above all we have to be honest with each other and learn to grow together to make it work.:heart:

:thumbsup:

John's photo
Sat 04/10/21 06:35 PM
You don't have to have one thing in common except the love for each other. So if your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend is watching a tv show you don't like. Keep your mouth shut and act like you like it. This is what broke up my marriage is little things

wherethisgoes's photo
Sun 04/11/21 06:51 PM
Seen a quote once about how come single people give the best advice. "Coaches don't play they coach." Hench why Single people give healthy relationship advice. There was not 35 points.


Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 04/12/21 09:25 AM
I've noticed many single people seem to think there are guidelines to a healthy relationship. People who are single but looking, tend to seek out lists, dos & don'ts, and advice from so-called experts on how they should act in their personal relationships.
They will buy books, watch videos, view online 'expert' advice and study/train to become a better partner in relationships.

Then, when they actually do enter into a meaningful relationship with someone all that 'training' goes out the window.
Not from a lack of trying but because real-life, tends to have messy moments.
The 35, 50 or 100 tips to a healthy relationship only works for some conditions but life happens in real-time and usually not according to predefined circumstances.

The same can also be said of any list of rules of conduct for success, raising children, marriage and making friends. You can follow all the rules and still have problems. Even when you've done everything according to the plan or advice.

The most important thing you can do for any interpersonal endeavor is to understand yourself, your morals, motivations and nature.
You can't do that effectively if you lie to yourself.
You can't get positive results if you don't put forth positive lifestyle choices.
You can't reach a desired goal based on assumptions or fantasy.
Reality always tears down the fantasy eventually.

You are the constant in your life.
If you want honesty in your relationships it is important that you be honest in your relationships.
Look not to others to find that which should be within you.

There's only ONE tip that actually matters to building a great relationship...
Be the person you wish to be. Only you have the power to make that happen.

When you are the person you want to be, you will attract people who want to be near that person you are. If you are attracting the 'wrong' people, look at yourself, first.

A Parent's Guide to Internet Safety
http://indianchild.com/lesson_in_life.htm

1. I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
2. I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
3. I’ve learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
4. I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
5. I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
6. I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
7. I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
8. I’ve learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
9. I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
10. I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
11. I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
12. I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them, and less to do with how many years you have lived.
13. I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
14. I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
15. I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
16. I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do love each other.
17. I’ve learned that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.
18. I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.
19. I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you.
20. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
21. I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
22. I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
23. I’ve learned that learning to forgive takes practice.
24. I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. The same goes for true love.


"I have Learned"
http://www.appleseeds.org/learned.htm
25. I’ve learned —
that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.
26. I’ve learned —
that no matter how much I care,
some people just don’t care back.
27. I’ve learned —
that it’s not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.
28. I’ve learned —
that you shouldn’t compare yourself
to the best others can do,
but to the best you can do.
29. I’ve learned —
that it’s not what happens to people that’s important.
It’s what they do about it.
30. I’ve learned —
that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.
31. I’ve learned —
that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think.
32. I’ve learned —
that heroes are the people who do
what has to be done when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
33. I’ve learned —
that you should never tell a child their dreams
are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more humiliating,
and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
34. I’ve learned —
that sometimes when my friends fight,
I’m forced to choose sides
even when I don’t want to.
35. I’ve learned —
that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.


So, you may be asking what all this has to do with relationship building?

Its important to realize when you are in a relationship, half of the relationship is you.
When you don't truly understand yourself, you can't begin to understand others.

Communication in a relationship is important but not as important as 'effective' communication.

Its important to listen twice as much as you talk. Use your empathy to understand the other's motivations for their behavior. Sometimes people are driven by things which we have never experienced.

Emotions have a habit of getting in the way of truth. Always work towards emotional maturity. Help your partner find theirs.

Allow your partner to express themselves as they need. Realize how they express themselves may not be how you express yourself. Understand they may not know how to express themselves. Show patience.

We don't hurt the ones we love. Love is love, not hurt.

Mind your words and actions towards those you love. You can't 'unsay' something nor 'undo' anything which has been said or done. You can only try to cover it up by saying or doing 'something else'. Talk and act wisely, decisively.

Not all people are compatible. No matter which rules you follow there are people with which you should not be in a relationship. It is important to choose partners wisely. To do that you must understand your true nature and understand when you see compatibility to your nature in others.

A person's true self will not be shown during 'scripted' dates. To 'see' a person's true nature, you must experience them being themselves during the 'unscripted' moments of life.

Sometimes we make poor choices. Try to realize your poor choices, according to you, are not a failure on the other person's part. Try not to punish others for not living up to 'your' expectations.

If you love someone at the start but that love falls, when you break off your relationship try not to punish them. Try to remember you loved them once. If they prove to be 'unworthy' of your love, you were part of that too. If they were never worthy of your love, what does that say about your choice?

Sometimes the person who 'fits' you is not the one you expect.
Sometimes the person you want is not the one who 'fits' you.
Be flexible in your preferences but have limits to all.

Most Importantly:

When you being you is who they love
and
When them being themselves is who you love
Embrace it


We live in a Universe of constant change.
To realize we all change is important.
The trick is to change for the better.

Live in the moment and live the reality of life.
Try not to let your fears create monsters where no monsters exist.
flowerforyou