Hi.
I have an international background and am feminist who wants just human rights for women.
In Japan and also all over the world, japanese pop culture and adult videos are really popular.
Animes and mangas, some of them are really good but most of them treat girls badly and give ideas like japanese girls are cute and stupid and accept everything like chikan, rape...
I don't want to date with guys who believe in those fantasy.

Last BF was a British and he really believed in that japanese girls are cute in his favorite way and complained me and my thought.

He hated feminists and if I wear glasses and trousers, he said " you are not cute. I want you wear mini skirt and high heels."

But he uses my thought "gender equality"
I pay almost costs which we needed, give him a seat of train, carry everything even he doesn't have any bags , buy presents even he didn't give me anything...etc.

I broke up with him and feel really sick now. I cannot understand why I should be an ideal japanese girl only because my nationality is japanese...
I am planning to go to foreign country.
But I cannot thlow away my nationality everywhere even I want.

Girls, what do you think? Please give me some advice and tell me your experience.

Stay healthy and safe!

Hello Manon

Can I ask what being a feminist means to you ???

A lot of men shudder when they hear that term . Perhaps your last boyfriend was a little confused and unsure of your expectations . If you told him you identify as a feminist . He may have assumed that you do not want him to open doors for you ., carry your bags or pay for meals . Or perhaps he is just used that to his advantage.. Did you ever ask him why he treated you in such a manner ?? Or what his expectations of you as his girlfriend were ??? Were any of those expectations culturally based???

It is not uncommon for some men to prefer women to dress in heels .. he should however respect your right to dress In a way that makes you happy . That does not mean you would completely discount his preferences .. a partnership is about compromise and making each other happy .

Maybe just find a guy who likes you for who and what you are!

Hi Blondey!
Thanks for ur kind reply
I really appreciate!
For me a feminist means a woman who respects herself and does what she really wants to do.If there are someone who don’t respect her and force her to do what she doesn’t want or treat badly because of her sex, she must fight against them.



A lot of men shudder when they hear that term .

:-/ do u know why?
I just want human right and I am not demanding , I think .
Why do they have to shudder ???

Actually my last BF didn’t work in Japan so he didn’t want to pay even for what he ate.
I was very scared when he complained about the cost because he said Japanese are cheating him.He said the price he was asked to pay was not true cause Japanese are racist.

As I was living for long years in Europe, I thought my way of thinking is not so different to his. But I think as my appearance is asiatic ,he expected me being his favorite manga character or Japanese porno star.

When he tried to show me Japanese porno, I said him “Don’t show me and think more seriously !” Actually what he tried to show me was about a Japanese girl who was raped 50 men at the same time. He said his favorite porno is that one and laughed saying that if that porno star can earn lot that’s good.

I said to him if he continues to see that porno, I wouldn’t have sex with him .
So he answered that he will not talk about this in front of me.

3days later after this , I say good bye to him.
But he said also many men watch Japanese porno and think that they can do anything to Japanese girls.
So I feel really scared if everyone thinks same to him.

I like to wear cute clothes and heels sometimes. But even I have to pay everything for dating, I can’t buy clothes every time and sometimes I want to wear trousers too .You are right! A couple should stay together to make life happier!

Thanks lot!!
Have a nice weekend;-)

XXOO

Manon

I think a "only girls answer" attitude is just one of the reasons why guys shudder when they hear that term. I think if you want a solution to any problem, you don't shut half the voices out. Feminism now a days is about having preferential treatment and tribalizing the sexes. I'm not going to rag on feminism anymore, but you should know it turns people off - except for maybe the skinny jean wearing, beta cucks that crave any attention.

Truth is, sounds like your last boyfriend was just an axxhole. You were right to walk away, because the dude had issues. I don't think it had much to do with nationality - the dude was just bent.

The bold part is exactly what I thought.
The whole anime, manga and blabla story doesn't have anything to do with this.
Feminism has nothing to do with this either. If you change due to this man you are not a feminist. You are reacting and changing who you are based on a bad experience. That is not feminism.
Look for the reasons you fell for an axxhole so it won't happen again.

I agree with the two above my post..

Feminist has to deal with equal rights for women..That is to be treated equally in the workforce ect..

Your last bf was a douche nothing more..

This is not across the board with all men..

Others will treat you the way you allow them too.. Next time you need to walk away from the douches, and one day you will find that man that knows how to treat their partner..

So take the time to find yourself and what you expect from another and make sure not to accept another unless they treat you with respect, that is the right of all getting into a relationship..

Here comes another one that claims to be for human rights BUT ONLY for half of the population. I'm not sure what it is that make feminists BLIND to they hypocrisy of their beliefs.

So many women abuse their husbands/bfs. Do you care about talking about that and do you care at all about those men? Or do you put the blinders on and claim that only men abuse women and never the other way around....because all the stats and studies -and police reports- around us prove domestic violence is a two street and the numbers are about 50/50. Also, how about the rights of children ? A good percentage of children are abused emotionally, physically and sexually but I never hear feminists say they want to stop that. They never even cared about it. Hmmm. Does that say something about the reality of feminism ? Having a bf that doesn't treat you with respect should have nothing to do with you turning to feminism.

As for porn, it's funny how again you only look at one half and block the other. No. Most videos don't treat girls badly and don't show them as stupid and certainly most videos don't depict rape. But have you looked at all the videos that show women degrading men, inflicting pain and humiliating them ....? They're all over the porn sites in case you haven't looked. But I know how it is with feminists. But with these videos you need to remember that these girls -and guys- are the ones who allow whatever happens in those videos to happen. They agree to it FOR MONEY and no one's forcing them, or at least that's the case for the majority of the videos.

I wonder why half of the Japanese men are 草食(系)男子, shunning marriage and relationship and now the phenomenon is spreading all over the world. Well, I know the answer but do you ?

Nice to meet u.

hey you just need a a boyfriend who will see you from another perspective and not just as a regular japanese girl, every guy has his expectations from a girl, why not give the next a reason for that, be yourself and don't act beyond your limits, good luck with your next search feminist

I think you are a lovely girl and met a wrong person. Just be yourself and when the right timing, you will find a guy who is really deserve who you are!

Hi I think Japanese women are amazing and also deserve to be shown love like any other type of womam


xxx

Hii

nice

Hi Manon, generalising about people whether male or female creates division, conflict, pain and suffering. We are human beings who respond to love and mutual respect for one another. They are of most importance in any relationship and if we have that in mind we will attract like-minded people without making any effort.

i think most men when they hear feminist they think of a man hating woman with red hair and who weighs 1000 pounds who is going to spend her time telling him how men are evil and that he is mansplaining when he tries to explain something to her.
Based on how you describe yourself you sound assertive. You know what you like and what you dislike and should tell your mate when he does something that displeases you. He can either accept it and be with you or he can leave and find someone who is into what he is into.

As for porn. I view it for what it is. They are actors and actresses being paid to play out a fantasy. Porn can be a great way to get new ideas to spice up the bedroom. Me and my ex used to love to do roleplaying. Nothing like having a stripper come to your door and let you touch her while she is dancing for you. When the dance is over she turns into your girlfriend and you do not feel guilty for putting dollar bills in her g string. I usually switch them for hundreds afterwards

For sure I would never date a woman who is NOT a feminist

I believe a lot of men believe they should be waited on hand an foot ...
by a japanese women ... becouse they are put in magazine to buy a wife ...

and expect everything from them ... which some J .women do that ... but if I where you... I would do what you want to do for a man and and what is comfortable for you ...if they do not comply
then they are a selfish man ... and then u say good by :>)