Im marriage with mentally illness man and i just found out after we got marriage,he seems has bipolar likes to cursing and shout even with our baby 10 old months.i dont know he did on purpose or not but many times our baby feel off while he was with him,the lasttime he was laydown on the bed and let our baby grab and holding drawer and standing by himself was actually not strong enough to standing by himself and fell off.i want to talk with our pediatrician about my husband behaviour but he threaten to divorce me and took a baby.i dont have income and family in state,my husband is US citizen if we divorce he will win for a baby. What should i do?...

There is medication that can control bipolar disorders but failing that, the safety of your child must come first and it seems unlikely to me that any judge would award custody to your husband, considering his mental health problems.

Hummm so you have been on here for 3 years looking for someone but yet married to what you describe as in a mental abusive relationship..

What do you think he will do if he finds out you are online looking for someone??

I say you need to get off sites looking for men get a hold of a woman's shelter and get them to help you move out.. and make a life for you and your kids..

If this is all true~~~

Go to the immigration website and read your rights.
You do have help and rights.

www.uscis.com

Information on the Legal Rights Available to Immigrant Victims of Domestic Violence in the United States and Facts about Immigrating on a Marriage-Based Visa Fact Sheet
Introduction
Immigrants are particularly vulnerable because many may not speak English, are often separated from family and friends, and may not understand the laws of the United States. For these reasons, immigrants are often afraid to report acts of domestic violence to the police or to seek other forms of assistance. Such fear causes many immigrants to remain in abusive relationships.

This fact sheet will explain domestic violence and inform you of your legal rights in the United States. Also, this fact sheet provides the same information as the pamphlet titled, “Information on the Legal Rights Available to Immigrant Victims of Domestic Violence in the United States and Facts about Immigrating on a Marriage-Based Visa (PDF, 52 KB).” The International Marriage Broker Regulation Act (IMBRA) requires that the U.S. government provide foreign fiancé(e)s and spouses immigrating to the United States information about their legal rights as well as criminal or domestic violence histories of their U.S. citizen fiancé(e)s and spouses. One of IMBRA’s goals is to provide accurate information to immigrating fiancé(e)s and spouses about the immigration process and how to access help if their relationship becomes abusive.

Questions & Answers

Q1. What is domestic violence?
A1. Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior when one intimate partner or spouse threatens or abuses the other partner. Abuse may include physical harm, forced sexual relations, emotional manipulation (including isolation or intimidation), and economic and/or immigration-related threats. While most recorded incidents of domestic violence involve men abusing women or children, men can also be victims of domestic violence.

Domestic violence may include sexual assault, child abuse and other violent crimes. Sexual assault is any type of sexual activity that you do not agree to, even with your spouse, and can be committed by anyone. Child abuse includes: physical abuse (any injury that does not happen by accident, including excessive punishment), physical neglect (failure to provide food, shelter, medical care or supervision), sexual abuse, and emotional abuse (threats, withholding love, support or guidance).

Under all circumstances, domestic violence, sexual assault and child abuse are illegal in the United States. All people in the United States (regardless of race, color, religion, sex, age, ethnicity, national origin or immigration status) are guaranteed protection from abuse under the law. Any victim of domestic violence – regardless of immigration or citizenship status – can seek help. An immigrant victim of domestic violence may also be eligible for immigration related protections.

If you are experiencing domestic violence in your home, you are not alone. This fact sheet is intended to help you understand U.S. laws and know how to get help if you need it.

Q2. What are the legal rights for victims of domestic violence in the United States?
A2. All people in the United States, regardless of immigration or citizenship status, are guaranteed basic protections under both civil and criminal law. Laws governing families provide you with:

The right to obtain a protection order for you and your child(ren).
The right to legal separation or divorce without the consent of your spouse.
The right to share certain marital property. In cases of divorce, the court will divide any property or financial assets you and your spouse have together.
The right to ask for custody of your child(ren) and financial support. Parents of children under the age of 21 often are required to pay child support for any child not living with them.
Consult a family lawyer who works with immigrants to discuss how any of these family law options may affect or assist you.

Under U.S. law, any crime victim, regardless of immigration or citizenship status, can call the police for help or obtain a protection order.

Call the police at 911 if you or your child(ren) are in danger. The police may arrest your fiancé(e), spouse, partner, or another person if they believe that person has committed a crime. You should tell the police about any abuse that has happened, even in the past, and show any injuries. Anyone, regardless of immigration or citizenship status, may report a crime.

Likewise, if you are a victim of domestic violence you can apply to a court for a protection order. A court-issued protection order or restraining order may tell your abuser not to call, contact or hurt you, your child(ren), or other family members. If your abuser violates the protection order, you can call the police. Applications for protection orders are available at most courthouses, police stations, women’s shelters and legal service offices.

If your abuser accuses you of a crime, you have basic rights, regardless of your immigration or citizenship status, including: the right to talk to a lawyer; the right to not answer questions without a lawyer present; the right to speak in your defense. It is important to talk with both an immigration lawyer and a criminal lawyer.

Q3. What services are available to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault in the United States?
A3. In the United States, victims of crime, regardless of their immigration or citizenship status, can access help provided by government or non-governmental agencies, which may include counseling, interpreters, safety planning, emergency housing and even monetary assistance.

The national telephone numbers or “hotlines” listed below have operators trained to help victims 24-hours a day free of charge. Interpreters are available and these numbers can connect you with other free services for victims in your local area, including emergency housing, medical care, counseling and legal advice. If you cannot afford to pay a lawyer you may qualify for a free or low-cost legal aid program for immigrant crime or domestic violence victims.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
www.ndvh.org

National Sexual Assault Hotline of the Rape, Abuse
and Incest National Network (RAINN)
1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
www.rainn.org

National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678)
www.missingkids.com

The National Center for Victims of Crime
1-800-FYI-CALL (1-800-394-2255)
1-800-211-7996 (TTY)
www.ncvc.org

Note: These are organizations whose primary mission is safety and protection.

Q4. If I am a victim of domestic violence, sexual assault or other crime, what immigration options are available to me?
A4. There are three ways immigrants who become victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and some other specific crimes may apply for legal immigration status for themselves and their child(ren). A victim’s application is confidential and no one, including an abuser, crime perpetrator or family member, will be told that you applied.

Self-petitions for legal status under the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)
Cancellation of removal under VAWA
U-nonimmigrant status (crime victims)
These immigration benefits each have specific requirements that must be established. Consult an immigration lawyer who works with victims of domestic violence to discuss how any of these immigration benefits may affect or assist you.

Q5. How does the marriage-based immigration process work?
A5. The marriage-based immigration process involves several steps to obtain legal immigration status in the United States, and over time, to be eligible for citizenship. These steps depend on the type of marriage-based visa you travel on to the United States, as well as other factors. The following information is an overview of some of these types of visas, as well as information on your legal rights.

K-1 nonimmigrant status (as the fiancé(e) of a United States citizen). You are required to either marry the United States citizen within 90 days of entry or to depart the United States. Following your marriage to the U.S. citizen who petitioned for you, you must file an Application to Register Permanent Residence or Adjust Status (Form I-485). If your Form I-485 is approved, your status will be adjusted from a K nonimmigrant to that of a conditional permanent resident. You will have that conditional status for two years.

If you remain in the U.S. without marrying the U.S. citizen who sponsored your K-1 visa, or marry someone else, you will violate the terms of your visa, have no legal status, and may be subject to removal proceedings or other penalties.

K-3 nonimmigrant status (as the spouse of a United States citizen). You are allowed to enter the United States temporarily while waiting for approval of a family-based visa petition (Form I-130). Once the Form I-130 is approved, you are entitled to lawful permanent residence (a “green card”) and will need to file an Application to Register Permanent Residence or Adjust Status (Form I-485).

All other marriage-based immigration status holders should refer to the information given to them from the U.S. consulate. Additional information may be found online at http://www.uscis.gov.

Q6. What are the penalties for marriage fraud?
A6. Immigrants cannot receive immigration benefits if they knowingly enter into a marriage for the purpose of evading immigration law or solely for an immigration benefit. Conviction for marriage fraud can involve imprisonment for up to five (5) years and fines up to $250,000 (U.S. currency). Immigrants who commit marriage fraud may be removed from the United States and may be permanently barred from future immigration benefits in the United States.

Q7. If I am married to a U.S. citizen who filed immigration papers on my behalf, what is my immigration status?
A7. If you have been married less than 2 years when your Form I-485 is approved, you will receive a conditional permanent residence status or “green card” from USCIS. Ninety (90) days before the second anniversary of your conditional residence, you and your spouse must apply together to remove the conditions on your lawful residence. To do so, you must prove the marriage is in “good faith” and valid. Once the conditions are removed, you have permanent residency that is not dependent on your U.S. spouse.

If you have been married more than 2 years when your Form I-485 is approved, you will receive permanent residence status from USCIS. On that date you will no longer be dependent on your U.S. citizen spouse for immigration status.

There are three situations when the law allows conditional residents the option to request a waiver of the requirement that you and your spouse file jointly to request removal of the conditions. 1) The removal of a conditional resident from the U.S. would result in extreme hardship; OR 2) The marriage was legally terminated, other than by death, and the applicant was not at fault for failing to file a timely application to remove the conditional residency; OR 3) During the marriage the U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident spouse subjected the conditional resident to battery or extreme cruelty. All three waivers are filed on Form I-751 and require you to prove your marriage was in “good faith” and not fraudulent.

Q8. What other ways does the U.S. government try to inform foreign fiancé(e)s and spouses about their rights and protect them and their children from abuse?
A8. As mentioned above, the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act of 2005 (IMBRA) is a law in the United States that changed the marriage-based immigration process to help foreign fiancé(e)s and spouses. IMBRA mandates that the U.S. government give immigrating foreign fiancé(e)s and spouses information and self-help tools to help protect them against violence from the partners who sponsor their visas. Immigrating fiancé(e)s and spouses are often unfamiliar with the U.S. laws and unsupported by family or friends to escape violence at home.

IMBRA required a pamphlet be written and distributed to tell you about laws and services that can help you in the United States if you are abused. The pamphlet is titled, “Information on the Legal Rights Available to Immigrant Victims of Domestic Violence in the United States and Facts about Immigrating on a Marriage-Based Visa.” The pamphlet presents the same information as this fact sheet. IMBRA prevents U.S. citizens from sponsoring multiple visas for foreign fiancé(e)s if they have a history of violent crimes. IMBRA requires the U.S. government to give foreign fiancé(e)s and spouses of U.S. citizens a copy of the criminal background check that USCIS does on U.S. citizen-sponsors, as well as a copy of the visa sponsorship application.

Q9. How does the U.S. government regulate “International Marriage Brokers”?
A9. If an agency qualifies as an “international marriage broker,” it is prohibited from doing business with you if you are under 18 years of age. The agency is required to give you background information on the U.S. client who wants to contact you, including information contained in federal and state sex offender public registries, and get your written permission before giving the U.S. client your contact information. The agency is required to give you a copy of the pamphlet mentioned above.

Q10. Can I rely on the criminal background information on my U.S. citizen fiancé(e) or spouse?
A10. The criminal background information compiled by the agency comes from various public sources, as well as information provided by the U.S. citizen clients on immigration applications. USCIS does not have access to all criminal history databases in the United States. The U.S. citizen sponsor may not tell the truth in the sponsorship application. It is also possible the U.S. citizen has a history of abusive behavior but was never arrested or convicted. Therefore, the criminal background information you receive may not be complete. The intent of IMBRA is to provide available information and resources to immigrating fiancé(e)s and spouses. Ultimately you are responsible for deciding whether you feel safe in the relationship.

Q11. Can foreign spouses who are victims of domestic violence also be victims of human tracking?
A11. Other forms of exploitation, including human trafficking, can sometimes occur alongside domestic violence, when the exploitation involves compelled or coerced labor, services, or commercial sex acts. Help regarding human trafficking may be found at:

And then you ask on a dating site?
Not really what I'd do when I was in that situation.
If you're for real go get help. No judge will give custody to that man. A baby's safety is more important. Even if it means you got to go back to your own country.

I salute your courage in asking for help in Mingle. Here, depending on our mood, we dish out advises - many ties right - because it is new year - some great people moods are little off.

Also Lady Wind for great research

Since I'm Indian (my daughter was born in US in 1993) I understand your situation. Although I notice you joined this site in 2017 and baby is 10 months old - it is not my business to judge. I write in actionable steps because a baby is involved and you say I don't know he did on purpose or not

Sorry, but if baby falls second time - in similar manner under his care - he is likely to have done on purpose.

2. Get a SSN number. Ask a bank to give a letter and you can apply stating you want to open a bank account. Maybe even over internet - I don't know

Also visit SSN office. If baby is American and you natural mother - then they will advise if that makes you American - or the process involved. Or request TG nicely, our legal expert. Always be truthful - Americans like that.

3. Your husband cannot divorce you because you are not American citizen. Unfortunately lawyers can file divorce papers and frighten you to sign and they will file case in court and may get divorce because you may fail to appear on hearing date. Muslim divorce talak 3 times is not recognized in US - Please check with expert or read law on net and absorb.

If you are married to American citizen - within months you can file for citizenship.
If your baby is born in US, you can file for citizenship

But Lawyers are expensive - you can also do it yourself

4. If your baby has had any injury from falls, please talk to Pediatrician and ask hospital to maintain records. P are liable to inform the Law and SS will take custody of child - because he is American - even if he is not born in US.

Your husband will of course harm you if that happens.

5. Ask your father to fly down from your country and make unexpected visit to your house. After 3 days stay, ask for a vacation to home country. I say this because baby's life is most important.

6. Check when and why your husband is out-of-love with you. Happens to new mothers.
He may not be bi-polar - just very stressed out in job.

Because baby is 10 months now, managing baby and good cooking is now possible. Good food / timely melts bi-polars also. Be patient.

Even if the 'Bas' may have found a girlfriend while you were carrying don't worry. But find out, information never hurts. Don't use the info against him till she gets pregnant.

7. Finding a job is not easy if baby is 10 months old. But try to be of some part time service in your community or mosque or any educational field. Even if money is not good, you accumulate knowledge equity which will eventually lead to proper job. You may also meet an elderly Muslim family and they may help you in unexpected ways. Put love in your service and right people will notice you.

8. Be cheerful for your son - because in 14 years he will take care of you. Asian kids first take care of parents. American kids take care of girlfriends.

9. Try not to get pregnant again !!

10. Read, read and read. Americans marry if the girl is clever and has brains for two. Also, in USA, if a rabbit can listen and repeat the same words with passion, it is easy to become a congressman. Read for your son.

11. Learn to drive, change tire and oil. Get super fit.

12. Very important. I forgot. Anyway, start on any one of these points and others will open up. Normally, a child has to be minimum 5 years old before another man takes interest in you.

Note: I have sprinkled on points that need to be confirmed.

I concur with Crys. Seems like a person who's thinking their spouse is abusing their child would be talking to a priest, cousler or someone else in a position to give aid. Admittedly, there's a lot of different people on this site with varian skills, experience and knowledge. But in the end none of us can do anything for you if you're serious and truthful.

You talk of "mental illness". This has a strong appearance of Munchausen's to me. Just someone getting attention for the harm done to their child.

This stuck in my mind and had to come back to it.

Children develop at different rates. Your child is around the age that children will start standing and trying to walk. You need to talk with your husband about making sure he keeps a watchful eye on your son to make sure he doesn't get hurt. Get a playpen and put your child in there when you or your husband are busy.

Yelling and arguing in front of your child won't harm them as long as you allow them to know that it's apart of life. Of cause, that his parents love him.

This is quite stretchy

Not sure if he is even excepting his bipolar ... but he should seek medical help ... at any clinic...meds do help ... not fix but help ...


in the meantime would not leave him alone with that child...


don't be afraid to ask for help for yourself either ... some are right the courts would never give him custody... if he does not get help for himself first ... it is a very hard to accept you have bipolar but once you do their is all kinds of help out there now ... and counseling for u as well ...

but all and all... u must seek out side professional help ... and don't tell him...

I knew you'd get this Texas, good job!

if you want to make the relationship work, and you think it would be safe, tell him you love him but he needs to do something for his health -just like if he had any other health problem

Im not one to judge ms alya78 cuz she may had her own reason joining mingle it could be, be cuz of forums in here...well im here for that reason.

Protect the baby... nothing else matters. Then, and only then, if you have the emotional resource, help your partner. A 10 month old is 100% dependent on a nurturing environment.

I am not giving your partner a free pass, but... when someone is mentally unstable they have less self-control over their actions and hurt others. This is never their goal mind you, but I would say you have to be the one to decide what's best for your and your child's safety and long-term well-being. I doubt he would get the baby; most women get custody, especially when the child is young. Besides, you can keep a record of such incidents. Do you call the police? Do you record the incidents on your cell phone? Do you have records of mental health interventions, hospitalizations (especially involuntary ones), psychiatrist/out-patient treatment, family testimonials, past partners, etc.? I strongly suggest you talk to someone, such as your pediatrician. You don't want to be accused of neglecting to keep your child safe. You do not want the state to take this child from both of you and put it in foster care. There are plenty of resources out there for you. Start with the pediatrician. He/she should be able to assist you.