Heyy there
I was just wondering how many of you on here are in traditionally straight relationships but have always been pulled the other way.

I am f in a straight relationship but have been struggling with my sexuality to a point where my partner has been telling me I need to explore it with other women. I want to stress this is not a gateway to threesomes or a purely sexual urge but lately I have been so torn wanting to find out what I truely want.

Anyone else? Or advice from someone who has gone through this?

Sincerely curious and confused 🤯

I do not understand the confusion.

If you are considering trying out for the other team
you are already bisexual, you have merely not exercised
that option yet.

You just are curious about which will work better for you,
at any given time ;-)

Actually that doesn't make her already bisexual but bicurious. Not the same thing.
A whole lot of people are like that -although many will never admit to it-, or has been bicurious during a phase of their life.

I'd take my time to figure this out. Keep communication with your partner going, provided he's open to it.
Don't make hasty decisions. Not for yourself but not for your partner either. Even if he really wants you to find out, he might find it difficult to come to terms with if you've been intimate with a woman, yet decide to stay with him. Could cause a breakup.

Investigate your feelings and needs. Could you really live with a woman? Would you need to occasionally be with a man?

there would not be a confusion if you ask yourself a question am I attracted to the woman I just met and already have thought of want to get close to her, just the same way you attracted to your man, then you are bisexual. It is not the point when your partner has been telling you that you need to explore it with other women.

I don't understand that..
How many times does one need to engage in sex with saomeone of the same sex to move from being "bicurious" to "bisexual"..?
Because someone can be in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, and still occasionally dabble in sex with someone of the same gender..

Since your partner is OK with it go try it.

I value you, because this is an outstanding example of openness and vulnerability, things we need more of that in our community.

If you want to have sex with another woman, and you are pleasant with it, yes, you are bisexual, if you are feel unpleasant when you have sex with woman, you are straight.

Who says you need to have sex? I didn't.
You can find out without having sex too.
And if you do decide to have sex it doesn't hinge on the 'how many times' but on when you shift from doubting, questioning, not being certain to being certain it either is or is not for you.

I have never myself experienced "bicuriosity," so this is more of an observation based on various readings and college courses I've had.

Anyway, not all sex related urges or "curiosities" are actually about wanting to perform whatever actions are involved. Lots of the time in particular, there is some ASSOCIATION involved, between the sexual image in the mind, and something else entirely.

For example, it can happen that a person comes to associate sexual interaction, even with the gender they usually go for, not with sex as such, but with CLOSENESS or COMFORT or APPROVAL or even as a reminder of the sense of safety they had as a child.

An only slightly related,and often misunderstood situation that's somewhat similar, is how lots of people get some pleasure from seeing someone naked, even though they don't want to have sex or a relationship with the person. The "seeing them naked" can be, instead of purely sexual, a trigger for the feeling that the target person is somehow more friendly, approachable, or less different; or it can even be a sort of exciting "counting coup" effect, much like one gets from collecting autographs, or finally owning the same car that their most admired film star owns.

I suggest you spend some time pondering more of the exact details of your desire or attraction. In particular, see if you can figure out what you expect to GET from such an interaction. Is it comfort? or even a sort of mirror effect, where you reassure yourself that the males you are with are having fun with you, and you know, because you've done what they do, yourself?

Especially if it's an urge or desire you haven't always felt, it's more likely to be an ASSOCIATION or TRANSFERENCE urge, than a direct and simple want.

Id say this thread is an example of how the sexual labels are not very consistent or clearly defined.

I do not know the answer. I have, since a young age, started with a question no one ever answers, which is "what is the difference of finding attractive and being attracted to?" My first time was with a male. It was not something I was thinking I wanted to do, because I had never HAD a sexual experience to gauge such a desire on. It was more something I was 'curious' about, because of my knowledge of it's existence and the relationship i was in with a male at the time. I really feel like it wasnt until I HAD sexual relations that I could really have a DESIRE to have it again. If my first time had been a female, I dont doubt I would have had that same reaction, but that initial experience would have only been a case of being 'curious'.

I havent thought in terms of, 'oh that person is so attractive Id like to have sex with them'. So I have never really got what people mean, exactly, by being 'sexually' attracted to someone. But then again, I have this strong sense of sexual satisfaction being very much about physical triggers and not about the gender of those initiating them. If the blindfold was on, feeling good would be feeling good, and only our minds are building bridges or walls about whether it SHOULD feel good.


... my two cents.

wants to try something?? my inbox open

Dear "...iosity",

I hope that you can satisfy your curiosity and are able to learn more about yourself etc. Sexuality is not as simple as even straight, bi or gay... Dr. Kinsey and more come to mind.
You are lucky if you are able to talk to your current partner about this and have some support, although sometimes I think men (I am a man) have less difficulty and may even enjoy the idea of their female partner "getting with" another woman. That being said, I also think that men, overall, are more sexually repressed and throw in the idea of male-on-male and things don't always go so well from either the male's and, possibly, even the female's perspective.
I encourage you to explore your inner goddess and hope that you find an equal match in another to see and to liberate your full sexuality. Keep in mind who you truly love may not change and if you are with a man that you love and you see this through with him, perhaps he is better to stay with. You will know the details that I do not, so, at this point, I simply want to wish you the best and may your love and lust be satisfied in a safe and wonderful fashion.

All the Best,
J...

Ms Harmony,
I think that you have great insight and with our "blindfolds on" I love your words and wish that more could see this clearly... You are truly in Harmony.
Thanks,
J...

Personally, I think cheating is cheating.
I think you should end your current relationship before exploring another, no matter your sexual preference.
But hey, that is just my own opinion.
Frankly, I don't give a damn what you do.

Go for wat u know only live once im in the same boat

Most people that ever existed.
And you're never going to find out what you "truly" want.

Here's a clue as to what every human being "truly" wants.
Absolute freedom for selfish fulfillment without any risk, cost, or consequence beyond that which gives a sense of greater importance, worth, and accomplishment in maintaining a desired level in the social hierarchy.


Everyone goes through this.
Putting it in terms of the current "sexual identity" du jour doesn't make it special.
There's a reason why commitment is a noun, not an emotion.
There's a reason why people argue about greener grass, not knowing what you got until it's gone, is it better to go after what you love or learn to love what you got.

It's the same struggle everyone goes through.

There are no answers. There are only your choices. There's no utopian bliss. There's no finding what you truly want. There are only alternatives and your ultimate decision which you ultimately commit to, consciously or not.

hii friend