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| Topic: How do I handle this one? (Girls ONLY) | |
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I think it just p!sses me off more here b/c there's no way you can actually know me and have any idea of what I'm about. In daily life I handle negativity quite well, with a smile and walking away.
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Gustava, re: your 'listening' post... A quote comes to mind.... "When the student is ready, the Teacher will appear." Can't remember whose it is, but so appropriate in life, I feel, for all of us. Yes, you do have a point. Personally, however, this entire topic/argument reminds me of raising children. I can see the mistakes and flaws in thinking and action and my immediate response is to stop it from happening. It's like watching your son with a bobby-pin heading for an electrical outlet. What do you do? Do you let him receive the shock or do you stop him? I remind him, of the dangers, and explain gently to him, that it is not healthy for him, as I reach for the safety cut out switch. Life is lessons, but yelling, shouting down, and criticising is not a way of creating a gentle dialogue, nor a place where both can communicate. I know myself, if someone TELLS me, I close my mind to them., whereas, if they suggest to me, I am open to them. I am not as gentle as you---to each her own---and I will not apologize. My hardness has been wrought and tuned through life. I once worked as a mentor for teenage girls who were "at-risk," pregnant, or already mothers. I found that being as blunt and honest as possible worked better than niceties. |
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Thats good that you helped those girls. I'm not a teenaged girl, however, and do not need nor want your guidence. I have a mother and she's a very good mentor, thank you very much. I actually DO listen to her, b/c she KNOWS me and can talk to me as not only her daughter but as an adult.
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Gustava, so do I... it is my field... youth... and all it's complexities, here in Australia, youth is defined as 12 to 25.
And yes I agree, there is a time and a place for firmness, bluntness, and I am also capable of that, however compassion , is my primary motivator. 
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I don't know if here that I'd qualify under the 'youth' category, but if I do I don't want to b/c that would be why so many people seem to think that simply b/c of my age that I must not have life experience. I passed up my peers on that front YEARS ago.
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he is so lucky!
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Edited by
Jess642
on
Sun 12/09/07 05:17 PM
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I don't know if here that I'd qualify under the 'youth' category, but if I do I don't want to b/c that would be why so many people seem to think that simply b/c of my age that I must not have life experience. I passed up my peers on that front YEARS ago. Jayme, although you are 23 chronological years old, as stated earlier, I simply adore you, this beautiful blend of wisdom, and this innocent naivity... As to age...pfffttt! My 10 year old has more wisdom, and maturity than some 50 year olds I have met. The youth in my world astound me, with their insightfulness, and their understandings, they are often my mentors. |
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I think it just p!sses me off more here b/c there's no way you can actually know me and have any idea of what I'm about. In daily life I handle negativity quite well, with a smile and walking away. No, I do not know you. I do, however, know many, many women who have said and done the things you have said and (stated you've) done. I hate it when young women squander their youth, freedom, and Self unnecessarily. You've got a lot of years in front of you and it sincerely pains me to see you take your life and a potential new life so casually. I know you don't care and won't listen, but you need to love, respect, take care of, and cherish yourself (and that means no unprotected sex) before you can do any of these things for a child. Life is rare and precious and should be treated as such---your life foremost. |
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Gustava, so do I... it is my field... youth... and all it's complexities, here in Australia, youth is defined as 12 to 25. And yes I agree, there is a time and a place for firmness, bluntness, and I am also capable of that, however compassion , is my primary motivator. I worked mostly with Mexican girls and the cultural imperative for becoming a mother early is a huge deal. I don't know about you, but I also was struck by the almost universal notion of female sexuality being defined by male sexuality. In other words, the girls I worked with had no outlet for their sexuality outside of male-to-female sex. There are all these girls in the throes of puberty and the only socially accepted means for them to explore their sexuality is through heterosexual intercourse... Hence, I became a huge proponent of telling girls about masturbation. |
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Edited by
Jess642
on
Sun 12/09/07 05:31 PM
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I have worked with Indigenous youth, as well as European settler youth.... new Australian youth.... both male and female... and yes we discuss sexuality, and healthy ways of exploring that... and non healthy ways, oppression, gender, religious, and societal obligations.
The primary things , and the major motivator for me, is developing a sense of self respect, assisting and supporting that , within young people. That they are not defined by the people outside of them, but what is healthy and good choices, by them. And yes, masturbation is discussed...as well as all and any topics they wish to. I am not there to inform, and TELL, I am there to gently guide, and support. |
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Sometimes though, one needs to "tell". The girls I worked with had no idea that masturbation is normal and a great way to deal with sexual urges. Telling them that they did not have to have sex with a man to explore their sexuality was a big deal.
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Thanks Jax, and hello Lori! We all have a story... we all have trials and tribulations, we all have the ideals, of how a child SHOULD be raised. My children have been raised by women, these past eight years. The primary carers were women...all of them...including me. My son's sought and still seek male mentors, and have chosen healthy male mentors... My daughters sought 'father' through healthy male friends. My sons sought 'father' the same. My kids have had many mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters, grandparents....and none of them are blood related. It does take a village to raise a healthy balanced child.... with or without the other biological parent, male or female. My kids understand we are all one global village, and just because they came from me, does not make them mine. Jayme will do what Jayme needs to do, it is her process, and none would wish illness on her, in any form... we have suggested, recommended, and cajoled the poor young woman, fifty ways of sun up. How about support? How much of that has there been? Jax, you get it.... you know through your own daughter, sometimes we just have to love them, with arms wide open. yep that is true.
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As to age...pfffttt! My 10 year old has more wisdom, and maturity than some 50 year olds I have met. The youth in my world astound me, with their insightfulness, and their understandings, they are often my mentors.  insert looking over shoulder emoticon here |
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I think there is a trust issue with this guy. It's almost like he keeps a calandar. Communication is key and I know guys get scared, but if he doesn't trust you, then this could be the start of a lot of mistrust. Get rid of this one.
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Edited by
JaymeStephens84a0lc
on
Mon 12/10/07 06:06 PM
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Damn ice kept me from getting to the store today, far to dangerous to go ANYWHERE in a vehicle and far too cold to walk... blah...
He's acting alot better right now, but I think he's just trying to ignore it. Which is best until I can get to the freakin store... I thought this town had salt trucks, and apparently they're not using them... |
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