Why send him to day care when I can take care of him and the $ that I get paid goes right back into taking care of him? I don't expect the guy to take care of ME, you people really are taking EVERYTHING I say wrong. I have told you all before I have trouble wording things properly and none of you seem to be considering that.... I know my family, I know that b/c I've always been there or them and done what they needed me to that they will return the favor. Its not 'what if' its I KNOW. Ya'll don't live my life, and you're certainly not me, so you can't sit there and preach to me without knowing anything about who the f*ck I am or what my life is. You dont' know the sh!t I've been through in my life, you don't know the things I've seen. You have no idea how well I could actually pull this all off if it were the case. I've always been able to accomplish ANYTHING I set my mind to and I don't see this as anything different than anything else I've ever done. I've always taken care of people, I've always been good at it, children especially. YES I F*CKING KNOW IT'D BE BETTER IF I HAD A BETTER PAYING SITUATION, BUT YA KNOW WHAT, SOMETHINGS COME UP THAT YOU DON'T PLAN AND YOU GOTTA ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES. Something I'm very familiar with and have never been anything BUT successful with.

I'm sorry if you feel we are judging you. You started this thread seeking advice on how to handle your friend who suspected you are pregnant. What shocked us was the fact that you chose not to use protection against STD and pregnancy.

I think many of our comments are becoming more and more harsh because we feel you "just don't get it". You come across and knowing everything but your comments tell us otherwise.

Many of us would like you to hear what we are saying in hopes you have a better future than some who have taken the same path.

If you have to rely on mommy and auntie to help raise your child, you have no business having one.

I'm not judging you either, however, since you posted this in a public forum, I'm responding. My understanding of a friends with benefits relationship is that there is no promise or expectation of responsibility, commitment, or dedication from either party. Correct? I've had guys approach me wanting this type of relationship and I always turn them down because being a guy's "booty call" has never interested me.

Both people are in it strictly for the sex. Either person can have sex with other people if they want to. Either person can end the "relationship" whenever they want to. With that said, I do not blame this man in the least for being upset that you might be pregnant and you want to keep the child and involve him in its life. That's not what he agreed to; he agreed to casual sex, not a marriage or a gf. However, I do agree with others who have said that he should have used a condom, since he didn't want children. Any guy who leaves birth control up to a woman is an idiot. I've heard countless men whine later- after she's pregnant or the kid is kicking in it's bassinet- "but she said she was on the pill." That is bs, if you don't want kids, don't have sex or if you're so horny you simply have to have sex, use protection. It doesn't cost that much, in many places it's free. Bottom line, there is no such thing as "unplanned children." Disagree with me if you must, but I don't want kids and I do everything I can to prevent them.

Either way, it sounds like you want a bf and he wants a f*** buddy, I'd look for another guy if I were you, and not settle for someone who just wants a piece of tail. And please don't think I'm criticizing you or bashing you or judging you because I'm not. I just feel sorry for kids who are born into situations where both parents don't want them, and it's obvious this guy is not "daddy material." Not now if ever. Good luck with whatever happens.

Agreed, though I have no problem with judgment. It seems like kids have gotten completely self-centered; it's all "me, me, me" and damn the consequences because as long as I feel good, everything is A-okay. I believe it stems from this crazy notion (that sprang up in the 1990's) that every kid is a winner and must be made to feel good, at all costs, about themselves.

UM, I've helped them, so what would be wrong with me asking them to watch my child while I worked, no matter when it happened? Maybe some of you don't understand a close knit family that would do anything for one another, but that's what we have. Its quite nice and I'm very blessed to have a family like the one I was born to. Both sides, mom's and daddy's, I'm very close with every member of my family. I wouldn't expect for that to be the permenant arrangement, but until I could do better it would work. My mother raised my sister and I without a penny to her name, working her butt off and never asking for a hand out. NO, my life really isn't messed up. I'm a very stable person, my decisions and what ever I choose to do are mine alone, and nobody has the right to tell me what they think. I found it rather irritating that everyone just jumped down my throat about something that WASN'T THE F*CKING TOPIC!!!

What you just described is nothing about me. Ya know what, if my sex life is the only thing I do for me, then that's my business. Everything else in my life is for everyone else, and I don't mind it for a moment. Self centered, no. Irritated and trying to take up for myself seeing as how nobody else is trying to, yes.

I would be curious how mom and auntie felt about raising yet another child, especially when the mother of the child has chosen to have a child under these circumstances.

Jamie i have a close knit family also and I'm sure your mother would not be pleased if you put yourself thru what she had to go thru when she raised you and your sis,then your nephew.Also how would mom feel if you contracted a disease and she had the potential to lose her last remaining daughter.How would your nephew feel if he lost his auntie?
Your comments about non protection raised all our maternal instincts .I find your attitude appalling.

The idea of disease is something I think alot of people overlook.

STABLE:
1 a: firmly established : fixed, steadfast <stable opinions> b: not changing or fluctuating : unvarying <in stable condition> c: permanent, enduring <stable civilizations>
2 a: steady in purpose : firm in resolution b: not subject to insecurity or emotional illness : sane, rational <a stable personality>
3 a (1): placed so as to resist forces tending to cause motion or change of motion (2): designed so as to develop forces that restore the original condition when disturbed from a condition of equilibrium or steady motion b (1): not readily altering in chemical makeup or physical state <stable emulsions> (2): not spontaneously radioactive



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This does NOT sound like the person who started this thread.

Dying from an STD is not the main concern, what many women overlook is that many STD's can cause sterility.

The dying would concern me, I don't want to be a mother anyway, so the sterility wouldn't bother me.

I don't know about the rest of the mothers, but I've got 6-8 years until my kids are responsible for themselves (at that time I'm going to be doing all the things I couldn't while they were young) and there is no way in hell I'm going to start over and raise my kids' kids.

PEOPLE....you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.

She has an answer for everything...She knows all...Put an end to this thread...please....

Amen Sister! I have told my children they need to be responsible adults if they choose to bring a child into this world. I devoted many years to providing them with a stable upbringing and now it is my turn to do what I want to do. They would be out of luck if they depended on me to be the "daycare"... I have a FT career and work 50-60 hours a week!

Do they ever close threads on here? I don't think I've ever seen it done.

It's just so frustrating.

Why close the thread? You are free to leave at any time.

if the hole is to deep

and you can't get out

stop digging