And how exactly do you know me so well? I've never met you, you know nothing about me. If you don't like what I write or say, there are plenty of other threads that you can bless with you sunshine and optimism.

Under the best of circumstances, parents who are not together can agree to always put the child first in any situation that arises. It has worked for me and the children's father. The children successfully raised and on their own. It was truly a struggle.

Unfortunately I have heard too many stories where the parents are selfish and put their own needs/wants ahead of what is best for the child.


I wish you the best of luck however this ends up.

I would do nothing BUT put my child first, ever...

I don't put myself first in any situation of my life... Am I not allowed to have selfish thoughts? I don't do selfish actions, I'm not wired that way. I WOULD have a child and be the freakin mother of the year though. If and when I do, its up to no one else but me. Someone's always going to have an opinion, and no matter how much it may make me want to choke them, its still just their opinion and has no baring what so ever on my life.

Remember, you are only ONE of the TWO parents. No matter YOUR intentions, you cannot control the actions of the other.

Your comment Jayme about running to the FREE CLINIC every time you sleep with a different guy just lead me to think of promiscuous behavior. Do you have another term for it?

This is an ideal situation...but I thought this man wanted nothing to do with a child? I do have one question...IF you are preggers, will you go after him for child support?
I guess this is where you have to wonder WHY you just didn't use protection?? You knew from the beginning that he didn't want children...you had the outlook of "who cares if I do have a baby!" If I was that man, I would have wore 2 condoms because I would have been scared of you trying to trap me into having a baby.
I think you have such low self esteem and you NEED someone to love you, maybe this is why you feel the need NOT to use protection? HMMM maybe you should think about that?

I'm curious about the testing you get before entering an intimate relationship. Can you tell me what they are testing you for?

I would RUN, and fast!!!

You are a smart man.

If they are testing her for AIDS...its not going to matter, she might be clean but it can lay dormant for many many years!!
Obviously, this lady has never watched someone die from AIDS. If she would have seen how horrible of a death it is..she would not be having such free sex!! You really need to protect yourself from all kinds of STD'S and AIDS. One way to protect yourself is not to give yourself so freely..keep your legs closed~~someone so young and doing that, its rather sad!!

I am a clinical microbiologist and totally agree. I'm curious if the free clinic she is going to for testing is doing a thorough workup for STD. AIDS is not the only thing there is to worry about. Chlamydia, Syphillis, GC, Herpes, Genital Warts, Hepatisis B and C are only a few off the top of my head.

Banging head against keyboard. I understand everyone wanting to give Jayme a wake up call, but I know a lot of you are much kinder than it is seeming on this topic. I go away to do 5th candle and there is still bashing going on.

However, since we are all off topic. Got to ask (especially Smiles, since you are the expert). How long can the HIV virus lay dormant? I was under the impression that the HIV will show up in bloodwork within 3-6 months of being infected.

Ugh, I'm going celibate. Forgot about all the cooties out there. Just be safe people. Use the smarts given you.

It all depends on how your body reacts to the virus. It CAN show up early but can also lay dormant for years. You are exposed to the virus, then your body begins making antibodies to that virus. It is the antibody that is detected in the test for HIV. If you are slow to make antibodies and they do not reach the threshold for detection then you will test negative even though you can still pass on the virus to another.

Michele says "Use the smarts given you." It appears some are unable to dear! Sad but true.

I enjoy the fact that she doesn't give a crap about our opinion and that hers is the only one that matters and the me me me vent and how when she walks away from her computer she doesn't give us a second thought. This has been going on for months regarding her baiting us with drama and walking away. Stay tuned for another episode of 'as the stomach turns'.

Um... what makes me promiscuous about testing a man before we sleep together? Its the only way to be sure he really is clean... I get myself tested 2 times a year just to be safe... I am totally clean... I don't understand how that sounds irresponsible. I've been sexually active for 10 years, so I'm talking from the first guy to the most recent that I made get tested... There may have been 15 in my whole life I've actually slept with...

I guess 15 sounds like a lot, but thats really only 1 or 2 a year, most of the time being in a relationship for the majority of a year...

me thinks the chasity belt should make a comeback......

i have absolutely no problem denying my children their fathers. none. no problem whatsoever.

DNA does not automatically mean a person should be left alone with a child.

once again I rest my case your honor.

As I said in this previous post. Just make sure it is a comprehensive "testing". Also know that HIV can be dormant for years before you/he tests positive. So even if you/he test negative, the virus can still be transmitted.