Community > 50 and over

Topic: When messages from men turn sexual in nature
Rock Joined Thu 10/09/08 Posts: 21258	Mon 12/23/19 10:53 PM
People on the internet talk about sex? I'm shocked! Shocked, I tell you.

oldkid46 Joined Fri 02/09/18 Posts: 1719	Tue 12/24/19 07:23 AM
Yes, shocking!!!! Why would someone think others would be interested in talking about sex? Terribly unpleasant conversation topic. Worse than religion or politics!!! All should be banned from the internet!!!!!!!

I_love_bluegrass Joined Wed 04/25/18 Posts: 1665	Tue 12/24/19 08:09 AM Edited by I_love_bluegrass on Tue 12/24/19 08:10 AM
Good points but you left out one thing.... when you mention woman who have no appeal for men, well that goes both ways Maybe just maybe a woman isn't interested in the man, so then we get slandered with being called prudes, frigid, B's, C's yada yada yada Yep...all women are supposed to be interested in whatever guy deigns to message them..if they aren't, if they turn him down..then she is a bi**h, frigid, hates sex, crazy cat lady...whatever.. Maybe just MAYBE YOU have no appeal to HER.. That crap works both ways.. I am aware that now I am most attracted to guys between 40-50..but, as I am pushing 60..I don't message or chat up the guys in their 40's...I have better sense...they don't want some "old lady"...unless it is a fetish" (cougar)...and I am not down for that.

Unknow Joined Thu 04/01/10 Posts: 1482	Tue 12/24/19 08:51 AM
All men care about is sex. They dont care about a woman personally. They think Were no better than whores or there personal maid I hope that attitude is not the real you! It will certainly have a negative affect on any interaction with a man. WoW! Maybe you should consider your attitude instead of advising someone on theirs

Tom4Uhere Joined Sat 12/17/16 Posts: 16240	Tue 12/24/19 09:07 AM
Sex is like the most intimate physical contact you can have with another person. There is a time and place for everything. Just because social trends break down intimacy doesn't mean we have to join in like sheeple. Sometimes what is not said screams louder. It fuels fantasies resulting in a hotter fire behind those closed doors. Choose wisely...

Unknow Joined Thu 04/01/10 Posts: 1482	Wed 12/25/19 10:05 AM
Really? Men who message inquiring about sex are just desperate ho's who don't have any self esteem and that's their way of picking the easy ones out of the herd . I mean who in there right mind is going to have sex with someone they don't even know? 90 hours is a good time to at least find enough out about that person, if they a psycho, a retard, or just wanting sex.

oldkid46 Joined Fri 02/09/18 Posts: 1719	Thu 12/26/19 08:03 AM
Really? Men who message inquiring about sex are just desperate ho's who don't have any self esteem and that's their way of picking the easy ones out of the herd . I mean who in there right mind is going to have sex with someone they don't even know? 90 hours is a good time to at least find enough out about that person, if they a psycho, a retard, or just wanting sex. Please explain the "90 hours"?

I_love_bluegrass Joined Wed 04/25/18 Posts: 1665	Thu 12/26/19 08:32 AM Edited by I_love_bluegrass on Thu 12/26/19 08:33 AM
Really? Men who message inquiring about sex are just desperate ho's who don't have any self esteem and that's their way of picking the easy ones out of the herd . I mean who in there right mind is going to have sex with someone they don't even know? 90 hours is a good time to at least find enough out about that person, if they a psycho, a retard, or just wanting sex. ibaceltic1.. I am, continually shocked at the number of over 50-55 year old people out there who apparently think nothing of hopping in bed with someone they just met.. I am not a prude, but, dam*.....while I came of age in the 70's when anything you caugh could be gotten rid of with a visit to the health dept...that is not the case now.. See also: when a guy asks "so, how many dates will we have to go on before we have sex"? Dude, I am not a machine you insert a certain amount of tokens (dates) into to get sex out of.. It'll happen when it happens..but in YOUR case, i can tell you it'll be longer than you want, like, never....not with THAT attitude right up front... P.S. And before some dimwit asks "well, he's just checking up front to see if yuou are a prude/ hate sex.." Maybe...but, if so..there are better, more tactful ways to go about it, like actyual chat which will eventually turn to that subject, eh?

Unknow Joined Wed 06/27/18 Posts: 101536	Thu 12/26/19 10:09 AM
Please explain the "90 hours"? If your date lasts one hour per week, then after 90 weeks If it lasts two hours per week, after 45 weeks If it lasts ten hours per day... after 9 days!

oldkid46 Joined Fri 02/09/18 Posts: 1719	Thu 12/26/19 09:10 PM
Please explain the "90 hours"? If your date lasts one hour per week, then after 90 weeks If it lasts two hours per week, after 45 weeks If it lasts ten hours per day... after 9 days! So if we spend a week of vacation together, sex should happen on day 4??? Or is that when we can start discussing the topic? Sorry but I don't have that much time to throw away to find out IF you have any desire to be sexually active. At an hour per week and 90 weeks, another 5 or 6 women and I'll probably be dead or no longer have any interest in a sex life.

Unknow Joined Thu 04/01/10 Posts: 1482	Thu 12/26/19 10:49 PM
Right the old "I ain't got time" go to excuse. Well maybe if you took the time , before wanting to show her your sausage then maybe you wouldn't have such a negative, whiny,demeaning opinion of women. Like I've posted before who knows what kind of person you really are like unless you take the TIME to know them, so talking about sex right from the start shows just what you are interested in, not them as a person just a object for your sexual gratification.

Unknow Joined Thu 04/01/10 Posts: 1482	Fri 12/27/19 09:57 PM
Rule #1 as a counselor 90 hours of face time before sack time, it is what almost any therapist would recommend, because after 90 hours the true nature of the other person will be revealed one way or another. My question is why the hurry, and there is nothing more fun then getting involved with a crazy person!!! Or getting involved in a co-dependent relationship. Toxic people can not follow the ninety hour rule. They need to validate themselves, often through destructive relationships. There ya go! Whaaaaaa? Did he say 90 hours? Why yes he did. Some of you really need to read everyones posts not just the ones with the naughty parts

notbeold Joined Sat 06/01/13 Posts: 2406	Fri 12/27/19 10:35 PM
I think someone here needs some sex. And what if I'm a psycho and a retard and like sex too, is that a bad thing ?

oldkid46 Joined Fri 02/09/18 Posts: 1719	Sat 12/28/19 05:49 AM
Right the old "I ain't got time" go to excuse. Well maybe if you took the time , before wanting to show her your sausage then maybe you wouldn't have such a negative, whiny,demeaning opinion of women. Like I've posted before who knows what kind of person you really are like unless you take the TIME to know them, so talking about sex right from the start shows just what you are interested in, not them as a person just a object for your sexual gratification. First, the topic was when is it appropriate for sex to be a topic of conversation not when is sex going to happen. I know a number of women who I have well over 90 hours of face time with. It has not been as a date or exclusive but only social. Sometimes talk of sex also comes up in that context. You are welcome to your opinion on the subject but do not expect me to share your opinion. If sex is a subject of conversation that is uncomfortable for you, then it is not any of my business or concern. I certainly will have limited future contact with you because of it.

Unknow Joined Wed 06/27/18 Posts: 101536	Sat 12/28/19 06:09 AM
Please explain the "90 hours"? If your date lasts one hour per week, then after 90 weeks If it lasts two hours per week, after 45 weeks If it lasts ten hours per day... after 9 days! So if we spend a week of vacation together, sex should happen on day 4??? Or is that when we can start discussing the topic? Sorry but I don't have that much time to throw away to find out IF you have any desire to be sexually active. At an hour per week and 90 weeks, another 5 or 6 women and I'll probably be dead or no longer have any interest in a sex life. Lol, I was just explaining what the 90 hour thing is. I believe it's meant as face time and when some feel it's a good rule of thumb as to when to engage in sexual activity. Personally, I'm not one to put a time gauge on things, when it feels right for both is what matters to me. As far as the OP... In the context of looking for an actual relationship, and NOT a purely sexual thing......I am curious (to other women) what your reaction is when messages from a man turn sexually suggestive, and beyond? If you have been communicating for a little while, and talking about meeting.... At what point do you feel the conversation goes from playful curiousity, to the point where he has gone too far. And men, if you are really looking for a LTR, and you are preparing to meet....do you go there? Is taking the conversation in that direction a sign that it is only sex that you are looking for? It depends on the individual. For me personally, it the subject came up immediately it would make me feel uncomfortable and cause me to question his intentions. As the relationship progresses, if it happens naturally and is respectful I am more open to it.

Mic34223 Joined Thu 12/26/19 Posts: 3	Sat 12/28/19 07:16 AM
The "SEX" issue ... let's not be too hypocritical. I will be happy to share my point of view, as a guy who likes sex. But first, if someone plainly states that they are not interested in sex, then that should be all that is necessary to eliminate any such suggestions or discussions. However, I would not be interested at all in this person. We are all grown-ups, so let's get over the shyness of talking about sex. Sex is a real part of a quality relationship, for most people, and without it, the relationship will most likely fail. There is a right way and wrong way to go about talking about sex. But, eventually, the sex topic must be addressed. Many people just endlessly chatter ... never meet anyone. The sex topic should be one discussed when you meet, maybe waiting until at least the second date. But sometimes, if there is a real connection between two people, things can move along, quickly. Speaking for myself, I would love to find "the One" - my life-long partner -, immediately. I don't know when or where she will come into my life. And when she does, then all my focus and passions will be centered on her. But, I also don't want to be lonely and not enjoying some quality companionship, for who knows how long. So, I am open to various kinds of relationships ... hangout, meetup, hookup, dating, more. Each is an individual circumstance to be handled and enjoyed, uniquely and appropriately. I am a fully-functioning adult male, and I like fully-functioning adult females who are not embarrassed nor ashamed to spend some quality time, together, whatever that entails. But, each encounter must be of mutual benefit and consent. I find that nearly every female I meet is interested in the same things as I am when it comes to compassion, companionship, passion, sexual freedom and enjoyment, etc. Yet, rarely do we ever get to the stage of having sex, because the relationship just isn't strong enough to go there. Now, I admit, there are some, guys and girls alike, who only want a sexual encounter with no commitments. Hooray for them! The problem lies when and sexually aggressive person pursues and conservative one. When this happens, it is simple enough just to terminate the conversation, as desired. So, the bottom line is this ... I think we are all on these sites to find quality companionship, and sex is often an important part to that. It is not good or bad, just one issue out of many. Address it, appropriately, and move on, as needed. I will flirt, prompt, invite, and joke about the sex topic until I sense my partner is uncomfortable, then I will back off. To my surprise, however, most time my partner becomes much more playful, than me. It is all in fun, part of the exploration and discovery of learning about each other. Have fun with it, and see how it goes. Maybe you will experience one or more less lonely nights. And, if you are lucky, find a steady companion. When does the sex topic go too far? When one of you becomes uncomfortable with the discussion, and it is your responsibility to properly let the other person know it. If is always best to be kind, until it is appropriate not to be.

Unknow Joined Wed 06/27/18 Posts: 101536	Sat 12/28/19 07:21 AM
The "SEX" issue ... let's not be too hypocritical. I will be happy to share my point of view, as a guy who likes sex. But first, if someone plainly states that they are not interested in sex, then that should be all that is necessary to eliminate any such suggestions or discussions. However, I would not be interested at all in this person. We are all grown-ups, so let's get over the shyness of talking about sex. Sex is a real part of a quality relationship, for most people, and without it, the relationship will most likely fail. There is a right way and wrong way to go about talking about sex. But, eventually, the sex topic must be addressed. Many people just endlessly chatter ... never meet anyone. The sex topic should be one discussed when you meet, maybe waiting until at least the second date. But sometimes, if there is a real connection between two people, things can move along, quickly. Speaking for myself, I would love to find "the One" - my life-long partner -, immediately. I don't know when or where she will come into my life. And when she does, then all my focus and passions will be centered on her. But, I also don't want to be lonely and not enjoying some quality companionship, for who knows how long. So, I am open to various kinds of relationships ... hangout, meetup, hookup, dating, more. Each is an individual circumstance to be handled and enjoyed, uniquely and appropriately. I am a fully-functioning adult male, and I like fully-functioning adult females who are not embarrassed nor ashamed to spend some quality time, together, whatever that entails. But, each encounter must be of mutual benefit and consent. I find that nearly every female I meet is interested in the same things as I am when it comes to compassion, companionship, passion, sexual freedom and enjoyment, etc. Yet, rarely do we ever get to the stage of having sex, because the relationship just isn't strong enough to go there. Now, I admit, there are some, guys and girls alike, who only want a sexual encounter with no commitments. Hooray for them! The problem lies when and sexually aggressive person pursues and conservative one. When this happens, it is simple enough just to terminate the conversation, as desired. So, the bottom line is this ... I think we are all on these sites to find quality companionship, and sex is often an important part to that. It is not good or bad, just one issue out of many. Address it, appropriately, and move on, as needed. I will flirt, prompt, invite, and joke about the sex topic until I sense my partner is uncomfortable, then I will back off. To my surprise, however, most time my partner becomes much more playful, than me. It is all in fun, part of the exploration and discovery of learning about each other. Have fun with it, and see how it goes. Maybe you will experience one or more less lonely nights. And, if you are lucky, find a steady companion. When does the sex topic go too far? When one of you becomes uncomfortable with the discussion, and it is your responsibility to properly let the other person know it. If is always best to be kind, until it is appropriate not to be. Well said!

Mic34223 Joined Thu 12/26/19 Posts: 3	Sat 12/28/19 07:42 AM
Just being real, open, and honest...have been overcoming my shyness. :) For those not interested in sex, at all, maybe you should join a card club.

Unknow Joined Wed 06/27/18 Posts: 101536	Sat 12/28/19 07:57 AM
Just being real, open, and honest...have been overcoming my shyness. :) For those not interested in sex, at all, maybe you should join a card club. Honest is good! :) As far as suggesting others join a card club.. if this were strictly a dating site, that might be sound advice. But, it is also a social site, hence the forums. There are those who are here only for the forums and have no interest in forming intimate relationships or engaging in sex talk. :)

Mic34223 Joined Thu 12/26/19 Posts: 3	Sat 12/28/19 08:09 AM
My mistake ... I was being presumptuous, believing that this site was primarily a dating site, especially since everyone I have seen on here seem to be looking for some kind of a relationship. No matter ... to each, his/her own.