I never "picked up" a girl to be honest. I have no lines at all. I have only been with a few women and I already knew them. The few that I did not know picked me up.

I thought about one lines till I was blue in the face. I cant think of any but action. I really smash into grocer carts and play stupid. It works but then I start to sweat and get confused when Im near a gorgeous woman.

I talked to the most beautiful woman about my age several days ago and she was laughing in minutes. I get goofy when Im nervous and I didnt think about asking her for a number.

I been kicking myself for days. I will see her again and when I do Im gonna break all her eggs and make all her pop bottles explode im gonna hit it so hard. lol

No lie....I will not only pay for the items twice over but I will do "Clean up on aisle 5"......Please send Me! Ooops! Im already there. HA

Serves the title right. Lol

Howl are Ewe? I'm from the Steer range, where the ani Mules have the right to roam!

This is evidence . . . That people act a little crazy when they are nervous, since all live relationships must ultimately end at some time.

hi
how are you evry body

If a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

There was a woman who was sooooo gorgeous all I wanted to do was bring her to dinner. My fellow worker said "Buddy,,,,You have zero chance of a women like that, She is way above you".

Hmmmmm....One day I passed her in the hall and said "If you will not let me bring you to a great dinner Im walking back into the mens room and will commit suicide, considering the only thing I may have to work with is toilet paper to hang myself any attempt might cause more critical damage if I slip and fall off the toilet bowl".

Ya know what? YUP! Had a date that weekend. BAM!

It was all I could think of and was horrible i admit, but it did work.

The worst line ever I think. ha

There's a monster in my room. Can I sleep in your bed?

My company had a huge job in a hospital. There was this gorgeous woman that I had to take to dinner(yes,,,another one).

I went to the best bakery in town the night before and bought a single slice of chocolate swirled cheesecake and got 2 plastic spoons.

In the elevator I took a chance the next day.

q
"you like cheesecake?"
a
"yes i do"
q
"i bought cheesecake from(so and so place) you like it?"
a
the best in town
q
I just happen to have a slice and I wont eat cheesecake alone, you wanna share it during lunch"
a
"yes, would love to"


5 months later I was living with her. True story juast as my last post was. I dont do one liners. I just say what the heck and ask.

Heres one my ex used on me:

"you look like your the most charming man".

I said "you dont even know me".

She said "I can tell by the way you present yourself".

10+ years it lasted from that day....and we still talk and text all the time. I was with her today for about an hour.

Fantastic woman, we just grew apart. Stuff happens, but we will always be friends.

As long as I can give a kiss back. Be warned though that I start from the cutsie little toes on the left and work myself up and back down to the right.

I dont think you can handle it. My kisses are pretty intense hun. Ha

Just dont have bad feet or im running for my life.

Are you a beaver? Because......dam!

There's a beaver and a wood joke in here somewhere....

Just as I thought,,,Bad feet

There was a young beaver who could
Rule over the hardest of wood
One day her teeth did scrape
And the sound the lad did make
Proclaimed the death of his manhood!

Merkins were made from beaver fur.....the ladies of the night of old would get crabs and have to shave their pubic hair. While not wanting to appear "strange down there with no hair", they donned beaver hair merkins....hence the term "beaver".

My how times have changed....

:D

:) :)

We have lol....and you forgot azz-azzling. I've seen a video of a girl getting a tattoo of a diamond there

Talk about a cutter of a different kind!