You know, you are like, battling the windmills right here.
I admire that and also shake my head.
While smiling.


@ All in here:
notice that the OP has never come back with additional info that would have helped make us clever, make us give better advice.
-for WHATEVER reason-

So what is the ultimate solution?
Let the Thread die - because OP is not involved any morew and all these 5 pages are hot steam leading to nothing.

Like Buttseks can never lead to pregnancy, this thread can never bear any fruit.

SIMPLEZZZZZ.

I�m outtahere.

Sir, i read all the comments and im grateful bcoz most of them are giving me a heads up of what i should really do on the situation. As far as i read the thread, i noticed the two men who are fighting in each of their opinions about themselves. For those comments who are OFF TOPIC, i think its out of my concern.

Welcome back!
:)

Indeed your observation is accurate.
However, fundamentally, i think posting the question "what should i do" here is the wrong move, we might not be the right audience.

I should give you the same advice as i would give a man: Think with your Head.

-you discuss things with this man, and he gives you no hope-signs.
-you want him more than he wants you
-this places you in a troubled state because he is coming to your place, and you do not know what is going to happen.

ASK QUESTIONS
I think you need to ask him a lot of questions:
-what do you think of me
-what do you think of "us" and the way we write and talk to each other?
-what do you want from me, what are your intentions?
-do you want to meet me?
...

FIND OUT WHO HE IS
Right now, you are in the fog.
You need to remove that fog, by shining a strong light on this man.
And the fastest way to do that is to ask direct questions.
...and to be ready for some crazy, honest, possibly hurtful answers (i only want sexxxx)

BE SMART
When you know who he is and what he wants, what he dreams of, what his intentions are , you will know what to do. Your intelligence, your mind will guide you away from dangers.
-if you are willing to listen to it.

all the best,

Didn't you say that you've been discussing this all with the guy though anyway? Correct me if I'm wrong but if you contacted him first and are the one doing all of the running (so to speak) does it really make sense to ask him what his intentions towards you are?

Whose idea was this holiday and meeting? You say that you're desperate to meet him and desperate people don't really have a lot of room for dictating what they want. You could scare him off by browbeating him about his intentions and you're already confused about that after emailing for ages, so you may never know unless you actually meet.

I understand that it's a tricky situation because it's not like a normal date and a guy doesn't usually go half way around the world just to have a chat over coffee. You probably feel that if you don't make love with him he won't come back but also that he might not anyway. I would look at it this way though: He's the one prepared to do the traveling to meet you and he may well think that he's punching above his weight with you. The guy's in his forties you said. If I was him I would be concerned that you just have an internet infatuation and that you wouldn't feel the same when we met. It is incredibly flattering though when a young lady takes a shine to a middle aged man and that could explain why he's been so "sweet" to you, without actually saying if he knows if you can be more than friends.

hi dear, Love should be a reciprocal. please don't show more affection to someone that doesn't care. please quit before it will be too late

What are you really trying to say? Please make it short, bcoz your confusing me. And me i clarify you that he contacted me first and talk about everything personals, being sweet, and etc. And he plans about vacation. And its my mistake bcoz i'll get too attached by his sweetness. And all i got is a friendzoned. Maybe its a lesson to learned.

Yes i know. It was a wrong move that i did, showing too much affection. Thanks. I get your point.

Maybe at least part of the problem is the language barrier then? How's he supposed to clarify and assuage your worries by email if you only speak pigeon English?

Yeah don't waste your time sweetheart cause the whole time you guys are spending time together your just going to be in pain.

Well, looking at your profile, if it was like that when he got in touch with you I agree that he's messed you about a bit if he's not looking for a relationship. You say that you want friendship that will lead to a relationship and then marriage, so a guy that's not looking for a wife and doesn't know what he wants is arguably a time waster.

I think that you said that he's in his forties, so if he doesn't know what he wants by now he probably never will and I think that all that I was trying to say was that a middle aged man would probably think that he had done pretty well for himself to have a young lady like you if he was looking for a wife.

Yeah, I still think that you're maybe going too fast for him but you've done the friendship bit on here and if he isn't coming to meet you as a suitor you're probably right to break it off now.

Good luck to you though.

You are absolutely right. Yes, it could be. One and a half year ago I was writing about one man of mingle2. I was complaining about his behaviour. I got lots of advice to stop with him. Now listen! I was missinterpreting him totally. Last year I traveled to Pakistan and got married, for his love was/is real.

No one can help her to make the right decision. God may help her and guiding her!

I wonder if telling him why you're never going to see him again, might help you. Not only that, he'd then know the reason.

If i was interested romantically and the man i am talking to already expressed he had no interest i'd try to cut the feelings If i thought we could have a friendship i'd meet that person In my mind i'd think it out is this person acting like a friend i'd like to have.You have to evaluate for yourself what is in your best interest?

At least he is honest with you and is not trying to deceive you. I think you need to be objective and appreciate honesty. You seem a bit too emotional

Hey Girl,
You have been damn really honest so I will be straight up with you. Block him, delete every contact info about him. Forget him and just look elsewhere. If you ignore this advice , the chances of you being hurt for no good cause is not 100%, it is 110%. He is not for you and you are not in love with him as you imagine. He accidentally tripped a trigger mechanism in you just the right way , just the right time and the rest is really about you wanting something real and there he was.

Repackage yourself andvisualize the kind of man you want down to as much detail as possible. Then free your mind again and get as many people to chat with as possible. In less than no time, for as long as you do not let your real feelings show, you will see real men come forward. The guy you think you are in love with is not a real man. If he was, he would not want to see you during his vacation since he knows how you feels and does not feel the same way. His not feeling the same way has noting to do with you. He is just not ready for commitment yet. Most ladies think they got the man for marriage that many others missed. The fact of the matter is that they were just in the right place at the right time.... Take it from me, I know what I am talking about .... Forget about that guy ,he is not ready for any commitment and you need commitment. If you meet with him when he comes on vacation, he will use and abuse you and then move on. He is not worth anything...

Having trouble meeting g people any suggestions

If you can enjoy.. enjoy with him... otherwise.. let him feel like home.. dont do sex :-P..
But I know .. you will do it...