Well, yeah, I have. One in particular. I was just annoyed, that my therapist was almost shouting at me. No therapist should be doing that. They're meant to listen and reassure. I felt like telling her, that it seems pointless, if she's going to get angry. I was surprised she did. I wish I could find a reason to justify her getting so worked up.


I know a few agoraphobic, who really can't step outside, as some bad memory, triggers them to stay in their home at all times. It's like they have an alarm inside their mind, warning them, that something bad will happen, if they ever go outside again. They only feel safe walking about with others. These PTSD illnesses are one of the hardest to recover from. Or they might as well be diagnosed as having PTSD. Antidepressants and therapy, are not so much a miracle cure. It depends on how your brain is wired. It's sort of irritating how trauma victims feel patronised, by mental health workers. Not sure anyone knows the answer to finding the quickest form of recovery. If whatever was supposed to work, it really would work, and there'd be no more on-going symptoms.

I've been putting off going to visit someone. When you first leave somewhere, and you're so emotional about it, it's very overwhelming. I left in February this year. Haven't been back to visit them yet, as I know I'll still get choked up, just walking through their door. Even if a relative or friend just mentions the name of the place, I start trembling with upset. I must buy them all a christmas card, at the very least. I remember the manager got me a leaving present. That place means a lot to me. There's not one day I don't think about it. It's more to do with the people there, than the actual building.

Well just as you love older women, I love older men, so I obviously don't have a problem with age-group relationships. And how the two get along, when they're in each others company, is what drives them. We all have preferences. It's nothing new. Taboo in SOME peoples eyes, but I just ignore judgemental draconian kinds. The draconian rule book doesn't apply to much these days anyway :)

Nice :) The man in my life often serenades me. Saying that, he's a bit of a show-off, sometimes, so it makes me laugh. Still I think it's really sweet. I'm always in awe of anyone who serenades others :)

Education is a completely separate thing to relationships. Not sure a highly-educated person would do it for me. I've come across many, who are good at holding down a career, but their relationships are always very short-term. Some have been so caught up in a life of career commitment, that they then miss out on having a family with someone, and can't find someone to have a home with. Sounds a bit lonely to me. Not sure I could have that kind of life. It breaks my heart. I mean, good luck to those, but education isn't what makes a Person. I hate to say it, even to admit it, but when I've been stood in a queue, I've heard them put on posh accents, and seriously, they're conversations about how "Their mummy has five houses", kinda bores me. I can't imagine them being any fun. The impression they give off is that they're stoic and frigid. Not sure if they do the posh accent on purpose, and well, I find it hilarious.

Just because it's Christmas, it doesn't mean I'll be more likely to. You came to that conclusion yourself. . You've talked to me about getting me a ring, but I won't hold you to it, as I can't afford to, for the sake of my sanity. You joke around most of the time, and that's why I'm having a hard time taking you seriously. I'm staying on the fence about that.

I've been through living without telly, and it's weird. I used to put the radio on, but it just wasn't the same. I'd hate that to happen again. I'll go without music. It was just too odd, when my old telly stopped working.

I don't think I would. Sex wouldn't feel the same at all. Ha ha. Then there's looking different as the opposite sex, and the different clothing that goes with it. Then the op. It would all be a bit too much for me. Mentally. When I studied drama at college, another fellow student, asked me if I wanted to play the part of a man. I told them I didn't want to. It's one thing looking at another person transforming, it's a completely different thing if you have to look at YOURSELF in the mirror. I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't feel shocked by my new identity.


Having the guts to do it, is a different thing. I don't think I would.

A+

The only time temptation got in my way, was when this hot guy, gave me an offer I couldn't refuse. We were both single. The feeling was mutual. I think you know what I'm getting into, here. I wouldn't put a price on it. I've never liked money for a whole bunch of reasons. When you're so physically attracted to a single man, and he's wearing a white shirt with black trousers, and offering himself to you, it's VERY hard to resist. And I'd have been daft not go through with it. .

I'd have to find someone who doesn't like order, who is true to how he feels, despite norms. It'll have to be some sort of alien. I'm quite complicated. And any man must be crazy to want me.

I'd choose the lover. Losing a career, wouldn't break my heart. Losing the lover would knock me for six. I'm not good, when I'm in pieces. I stop functioning properly. It feels like someone has died, if I break up with a man. I couldn't just carry on like nothing had happened.

I think some ARE different kinds of compliments. For me, it depends how the person words it.


do you love to get them? hate it? somewhere in between?




Absolutely not, but I know someone who would.



I mainly detest corny chat-up lines. Just be bold. I don't like small talk. I like it, if the compliment is genuinely sweet. I don't so much like dogmatic compliments. You know, dogmatic compliments are for them hoes who stand on street corners. I have better to deal with. Don't let that man wearing a shirt and tie lure you in. We all know who he is, and what he does, and who he's been with. There's always one.

The brain. Though some decisions are heartbreaking. I wouldn't have won a certain argument either way. It wasn't exactly an argument. More like reaching the right decision. Because I just couldn't get it through to some people, at a particular meeting, I walked out, because I got emotional. That was one of the toughest things I'll ever do. A medical team should always consider what the patient wants, but to totally ignore what was best for me, I have no words. Sometimes you're just not listened to, and that's that. I have no time for authoritarians who don't give a crap where their patients end up. As long as the economy is thriving, apparently nothing else matters.

Well damn . Instead of some unknown name, cropping up in a dream, it happened in a nightmare. One where I was back at school, and the named man, was holding a gun to a classmates head, and I seen it all happening, through a classroom window. The lights were on, inside of the classroom. I can still picture it even now. I remember having to Google the name 'Stephen' in my nightmare. I couldn't remember his surname. Not that I wanted to. . And when I woke up, my mum's house was dark, and everyone had went out. I quickly ran to put all of the lights on, as it was just getting dark outside, around 5pm. I just wanted to scream, then faint out of pure shock. I always had horrible night terrors, while I was on a certain antidepressant. Luckily I don't know anyone who has the same name as the terrorist in my nightmare. .

Not that I ever meant to put off visiting you, but your birthday is in twenty-five days, and wondering whether I should still attend. Just that we haven't spoken to each other for ten months. I'd feel awkward. Got to make a decision about it. It feels awkward ANYWAY, because it feels like I've been replaced by another one. That's never a nice feeling. I feel as if I've lost the best companion I ever had, which is a very big compliment on YOUR part. Just not sure where I stand. I told you this before. Everyone you live with, still says hi to me, and they still stop to talk to me. Can't help but feel confused.

I'll let you know, when I've got done trawling through every female dating profile that ever existed.

About the "bad-teeth" thing,I once met a really nice-looking man. Even though his teeth weren't exactly great to look at, he still had a lot of women flirting with him. But you know how that goes. And he was good at flirting. He never let the state of his teeth get in the way of his flirting skills. . Quite admirable to have that sort of confidence. Some of the people we know, still tell me how he'd look a lot better if he had veneers put in. Yet, his personality seems off-the-wall, I guess he makes up for it in that sense. So one day, you yourselves might meet a person with bad teeth, but he might be so good at roping you in, that you just might look past it. :shrug: . You won't actually know until you meet one. Some have such big personalities [I bet you thought I was going to say something else ;] ].

I got slightly worried reading the question, as it makes you sound suicidal :/I hope that isn't how you're feeling. I think everyone's life is meant for different things. Different purposes, different meanings, different memories. I can't point to one thing that would mean the same for everyone. People assume, sometimes, that by the time we reach certain stages in life, we've apparently done it all, but this isn't true. Whatever happens to us, at whatever time in our lives is purely coincidence.

Then maybe go tothe more countryside parts of the US. What about Texas ? There's bound to be some there.