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| Topic: I don't know what to do | |
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Look. This is the way I see it. I'm about this guy's age and I sometimes get girls like this contacting me on here. I bet she contacted him first and it really isn't the case that he's been pursuing her. If someone from that far away contacts me it's so unlikely to develop into anything more than friendship that I don't entertain ideas about that. She has though and now she's stuck on him and upset over somebody that she's never even met. Supposedly he's sweet talking her but also just saying that he wants to be friends. I don't blame him and his not wanting to talk about a possible relationship doesn't prove anything. It's going too fast when you don't even know how that would work. He doesn't even know if she's not a scammer and that's what scammers do; they act like they already love you and want to be with you when you don't really know each other and have never met.
What is it that you want from this guy? He's not going to fall in love with you if you never meet him. What sort of a relationship do you want? I just don't think that a mature individual would do anything to lead a young girl on in this situation if he hadn't made up his mind if there's any future in it and how does he know anyway that she'll feel the same when she meets him for real? You guys are making him out to be some sort of player when all he's apparently done is be friendly to her. She's the one desperate to meet him but now she's saying that it's no good if he just has a good time over there and she doesn't get a commitment out of him. This is why I don't reply to people from these places. |
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I don't know what to do
You don't really have to do anything. What is it you think you have to do? All you're doing is feeling. And it's based on typical online dating 101 stuff regarding long distance relationships. You can read the millions of forums on long distance internet dating, or you can talk to friends and family that actually know your situation, and may actually know about the guy you are referring to. Otherwise, all you are saying here is "I have unrequited feelings for someone I've never seen." Sometimes love is so unfair.
The situation is little different than a 4 year old seeing part of a horror movie on a television then sitting down and crying, overcome with fear and emotions, thinking the monster is going to get him. It has nothing to do with anything being "unfair." |
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Run! Don't waste your time on a man who has made it clear he is not into you. He will only end up using you. 
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well, i know this is the internet, but has anyone considered the possibility that he, like her, is interested in developing an actual relationship? he may be sitting back thinking this could be real, but he wants to meet with her, spend some time with her, see if she is really the person he has been talking to for all this time. i seem to be in the minority here, but i could never commit to anyone that i have never met. so maybe, just maybe, he is on the level and simply needs something a bit more tangible than emails, im's, phone calls or skype conversations. Then he would have made that clear. Why beat around the bush? i don't presume to know other people's motives. i'm just offering a possible scenario. my suggestion could be completely wrong, the op needs to find this out...as best she can. she is responsible for how she allows others to treat her, not me and certainly not the guy in question. he only does what she lets him. I agree with this. we choose what we allow. from what I can tell, the OP has already made the choice and is now trying to justify it through several of the comments on here. Op you stated that you just wanthim to feel tthe same for you as you do about him. we can't make someone fall in love if it's just not there. if he's going to be out there anyway let him make his own accommodations. if you're already open to communication, know that nothing obligates you to take anything beyond casual acquaintance. not everyone is what they seem online so be careful |
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i am in line with "iamwholiam"... but i would have used less sensitive words. he is up to no good. It makes me so hot when you're in line with me, baby. |
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actually yeah don't meet him. I personally would not want to waste a cup of coffee on a woman who thinks men are up to no good.
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if I think deeper on this it could be ur inherited jealousy stopping ur feelings. if u have feelings for him and any thoughts of him meeting other pinays yeah I see how he's a bad guy in your mind. I don't think this foreigner has dealt with pinays jealous traits yet. lol he will learn it tho!!!!
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Hi everyone, i just want to share this since there's a lot of people in here and maybe some of you can give me a piece of an advice. I meet this guy on the internet, we communicate everyday for a few months now until i realized that im already inlove with him. Never know when it started, i just feel it. He is 44 years old and im 24 years old. He said he like me so much but he only see me as a friend. He doesn't show any interest or talk about relationship and having a commitment. He wants to meet me when his coming in philippines for a vacation. My problem is he knows that i have feelings for him. It sounds like a confession, its just slip out in my mouth when we're on the middle of conversation. I had no idea if he really wants to be with me or he just love the idea of having someone for a vacation, since he already know how i feel for him. I feel like a fool when he told me that his still dont know who can win his heart. Im disappointed and hurt but the feeling never change. I just need a helpful advice. Honestly just reading this I have a bit of a different take on this. I don't mean to down grade or make light of your feelings in anyway. Yet you state " He said he like me so much but he only see me as a friend. He doesn't show any interest or talk about relationship and having a commitment. He has stated that he wants to meet you in person. I get this. There is considerable age difference, along with culture difference. He hasn't asked you to put him up to save money, he hasn't made any false promises. So where is this guy a dirt bag??? He is being honest and upfront. You are the one that took it farther than he did even after he told you honestly he cares for you as a friend. Would it have been different if he had led you on built your hopes up met for a drink, lunch, dinner what ever and said nope Sorry it was a fling. Instead he has told you how he feels, and he has been honest. IMO he should be commended for that too many times we hear about people that lead someone on and breaks their heart this time we are hearing about a guy that has taken pains not to do this.. I don't get where everyone is trashing and bashing here... Maybe I am missing something. Would it have been better for him to lead her on??? NO that would have made him a dirtbag.IMO.. He is coming to her country to have a vacation he wants to meet while he is there.. Who knows what will happen after that. I do have to say though if I was the guy I would be having a huge red flag here. It sounds like to me you are upset and angry he isn't committing to you without seeing you.. Why?? Why not just take each moment and enjoy life as it comes. Who knows you "may" meet him and think nope he isn't what I thought and I really don't care for him the way I thought. I honestly wish you well and I pray you find the happiness everyone deserves |
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jeaslouy plays a Hugh part in a relationship with a pinay. men should know about it and conduct themselves accordingly
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Silence is golden.
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This ^^^ Is one of the reasons I try not to make comments, things gets out of control and some are too offensive.
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Mon 09/07/15 11:11 AM
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This ^^^ Is one of the reasons I try not to make comments, things gets out of control and some are too offensive. carry on people 
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I'm in no position to comment on your feelings about this man
I can comment even less on his true intentions. All I can offer is my opinion on inviting a total stranger to stay with you and your family, first, it's not a safe practice if he turns out to be some twat(no offence to the mingle twatman) second, talk about an awkward scenario of both of you getting to know each other while family members all around. I say share a meal with him or coffee hang out for a few days if things progress.... Then he gets to meet your family. Safety first and you owe It to your family to keep them safe too! Good luck well said |
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the only part that is an insult is dirty...
how many really OLD folks can claim to be a pervert? None. Old men might be grumpy, but hardly pervert. ;-) inuslt voided right there. so now all we need to see is a pic of you in a towel fresh out of the shower, and all your reputation points are returned to your account. all of them and then some :P |
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you are only one that noticed that. if u understand it u understand I have a sense of humor
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Don't know you well enough to say if I think you're stupid or not mate but pretending to be stupid is trolling. It can be funny sometimes and I'm going to award you five internets for making me think that you're a tard that actually thought that you had to put "commas" there.
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Don't know you well enough to say if I think you're stupid or not mate but pretending to be stupid is trolling. It can be funny sometimes and I'm going to award you five internets for making me think that you're a tard that actually thought that you had to put "commas" there. 
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Edited by
unknown_romeo
on
Mon 09/07/15 01:57 PM
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I don't know what to do Neither do i 
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Edited. People, the forums are not about YOU
they are about the OP, kindly stay on topic. soufie Site Moderator |
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