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| Topic: Death of the True Gentleman!!! | |
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Edited by
Greg812003
on
Sat 01/11/14 05:02 PM
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Even with all the best intentions, you still need chemistry. If she didnt feel it then she didnt feel it. That doesnt mean you arent a great catch for someone else. Sometimes a person (male or female) can be too affectionate too soon, making the other person uncomfortable. Even scared, really. You say you wish she would have gotten to know you. Maybe you should have spent more time getting to know her? I can see that, yet is it truly bad to send a little note of affection after what would seem to be an amazing evening as a thank you. I guess my question is why is it always seen as way too much instead of taking it with strides and saying well that may just be who this person is. Is it truly out of bad experiences in the persons past or is it out of fear that they may be sincere. That would also fall into the category of getting to know a person. Not too mention we all know boundaries are there, if you perceive someone as passing them why not say so instead of immediately giving up on them. It would seem to be much more logical in the end as you get to see the whole package verses the initial moments of that person. I am truly writing this post out from a philosophical standpoint of sorts. It truly confounds me at times and I got to ask why. Besides seeing other peoples experiences would help me learn just as hearing a Womans view point as well. You want her to make all these allowances for you but you wont make any for her. You've decided that its because youre a gentleman that it didn't work, and that's just ludicrous. Then you've heard various people answer a question you keep asking. ".. why is it always seen as way too much instead of taking it with strides and saying well that may just be who this person is.." Because it makes people uncomfortable. Is that ok to make people uncomfortable? Is there something wrong with someone who doesn't want to date someone who makes them uncomfortable? Creepy. Inconsiderate. Gentleman has left the picture when you go there. I think he's just hurting right now klc I would not disagree with the likely hood of that it does seem I tend to do so and that really baffles me. And of all things I would never consider myself to be inconsiderate. I have never made any comments that could even approach being inconsiderate or of a bad nature nor of any false nature. |
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Being a gentleman should come naturally. Those that force it come across as a lickspittle.
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Even with all the best intentions, you still need chemistry. If she didnt feel it then she didnt feel it. That doesnt mean you arent a great catch for someone else. Sometimes a person (male or female) can be too affectionate too soon, making the other person uncomfortable. Even scared, really. You say you wish she would have gotten to know you. Maybe you should have spent more time getting to know her? I can see that, yet is it truly bad to send a little note of affection after what would seem to be an amazing evening as a thank you. I guess my question is why is it always seen as way too much instead of taking it with strides and saying well that may just be who this person is. Is it truly out of bad experiences in the persons past or is it out of fear that they may be sincere. That would also fall into the category of getting to know a person. Not too mention we all know boundaries are there, if you perceive someone as passing them why not say so instead of immediately giving up on them. It would seem to be much more logical in the end as you get to see the whole package verses the initial moments of that person. I am truly writing this post out from a philosophical standpoint of sorts. It truly confounds me at times and I got to ask why. Besides seeing other peoples experiences would help me learn just as hearing a Womans view point as well. You want her to make all these allowances for you but you wont make any for her. You've decided that its because youre a gentleman that it didn't work, and that's just ludicrous. Then you've heard various people answer a question you keep asking. ".. why is it always seen as way too much instead of taking it with strides and saying well that may just be who this person is.." Because it makes people uncomfortable. Is that ok to make people uncomfortable? Is there something wrong with someone who doesn't want to date someone who makes them uncomfortable? Creepy. Inconsiderate. Gentleman has left the picture when you go there. I think he's just hurting right now klc I would not disagree with the likely hood of that it does seem I tend to do so and that really baffles me. And of all things I would never consider myself to be inconsiderate. I have never made any comments that could even approach being inconsiderate or of a bad nature nor of any false nature. I did not mean for this post to be about examining my experience with a fine tooth comb lol more so I was hoping to find others experiencing the same situations and have a like minded conversation with them. To give you further insight on the Message that set the woman off I was talking with it just stated that I have never felt such strong feelings for nor such passion in a kiss from another woman as I did her that night. I don't see inconsiderate, possibly creepy as I am showing emotion maybe sooner than I should. So I am sorry this got so off topic and a bit odd and I do appreciate the advice KC and would welcome any more you may have to offer however this was not my intention for this post. I possibly could have worded it a bit better. |
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I guess I haven't had any similar experiences quite like yours but I remember years ago meeting this guy at a party..we got on great and saw each other again..wow! I was really into him but suddenly he stopped talking to me. I think he sensed that.
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People generally pursue that which recedes
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I have this feeling that in some deep valley of the human subconscious although one may say they are looking for something solid and committal they inevitably encounter some form of fear when they find it and it always causes them pause especially when the willingness to commit is so strong and the chemistry is as well. That would lend to give good reasoning for something like that. Thank you for sharing that with me I appreciate it.
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I have this feeling that in some deep valley of the human subconscious although one may say they are looking for something solid and committal they inevitably encounter some form of fear when they find it and it always causes them pause especially when the willingness to commit is so strong and the chemistry is as well. That would lend to give good reasoning for something like that. Thank you for sharing that with me I appreciate it. Of course, people fear the things they want the most |
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People generally pursue that which recedes I agree it is much easier to take a calculated chance at a perceived failure then it is approach something that seems true as it leads to the fear of the pain involved with unexpected failure. So inherently commitment drives fear into more hearts than anything else as it comes with a price you have to give your heart, and although you may say you are ready truly ready deep down inside you are not :),thank you for giving me food for thought. |
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Its funny you know..this was years ago as well. I went out with a young man and at the time I was more into having fun rather than seeking something serious. I thought it was just about the sex until one day, a few months after I moved to nother city, he messaged me and asked why I stopped seeing him and accused me of using him for sex
 Thats a switch!..I feel bad  ..he was a really good guy. I just never knew. People can really get wrong signals quickly.
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I have this feeling that in some deep valley of the human subconscious although one may say they are looking for something solid and committal they inevitably encounter some form of fear when they find it and it always causes them pause especially when the willingness to commit is so strong and the chemistry is as well. That would lend to give good reasoning for something like that. Thank you for sharing that with me I appreciate it. Well you know how the saying goes "if its too good to be true, iy probbly is" This may be what she was thinking and got scared. Its scarey sometimes to give your heart so quickly |
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I think a real true gentleman should like to stay in the closet where it is safe. Except maybe at parties where there might be armed guards to protect them from the gold diggers of all walks of life.
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Its funny you know..this was years ago as well. I went out with a young man and at the time I was more into having fun rather than seeking something serious. I thought it was just about the sex until one day, a few months after I moved to nother city, he messaged me and asked why I stopped seeing him and accused me of using him for sex Thats a switch!..I feel bad ..he was a really good guy. I just never knew. People can really get wrong signals quickly. Yeah they can, I have that problem myself which is why I will not sleep with someone until I am comfortable with their overall intentions lol. I am screwed once I have slept with someone in my Heart that is truly sealing the deal >.< it screws me a lot seeing how it seems more people are about partying and sex now a day than having a good positive relationship :( it makes life hell trying to find someone lol. |
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I have this feeling that in some deep valley of the human subconscious although one may say they are looking for something solid and committal they inevitably encounter some form of fear when they find it and it always causes them pause especially when the willingness to commit is so strong and the chemistry is as well. That would lend to give good reasoning for something like that. Thank you for sharing that with me I appreciate it. Well you know how the saying goes "if its too good to be true, iy probbly is" This may be what she was thinking and got scared. Its scarey sometimes to give your heart so quickly Yeah I am kinda Screwed in that department it is in my nature lol, I wear it on my sleeve and yeah no need to say more lol. |
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That was many years ago..its not me now
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Edited by
Greg812003
on
Sat 01/11/14 05:46 PM
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That was many years ago..its not me now Yeah we tend to change as we get older you know we actually gain priorities that outweigh our older habits lol. I think what kills me the most is I matured ahead of my time. You know I have been with women of all ages and all the way up through the 30 year olds they have always been partiers and just bad compliments to my person. I am very success and career oriented. |
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Wasn't Cary Grant a homosexer?
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I think in a way Gentlemen are dying off as well since it is becoming so openly accepted that females should give themselves so easily and act as society wants them too as well. It could be a reason for pulling away from the true meaning of sharing that true friendship and mutual respect in a relationship instead of just having fun with one nighters and intimate encounters as they are called. It is definitely becoming more likely to meet someone temporarily then it is to meet someone decent for the long haul.
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Folks, the concept of a "gentleman" is a bit archaic.
From Wikipedia: "In its original meaning, the term denoted a man of the lowest rank of the English gentry, standing below an esquire and above a yeoman... ... To a degree, gentleman came to signify a man with an income derived from property, a legacy or some other source, and was thus independently wealthy and did not need to work." |
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Had something like that and it's called "Coming on too strong"
Having had a passionate night/kiss etc with chemistry, great! But maybe she was somewhat overwhelmed by it and needed some space the next day to think about it and let it sink in. Then there's an over the top poem ... Over the top, as it is too soon. And a man that lives to please me? F O! Had one of those, they smother you, make you feel like you're being throttled. If you say your neck hurts, they jump up to give you a massage (without even asking if you want that), when you say "I'm hungry" they run in the kitchen to make you some food and so on. May sound like paradise, but trust me, it's not nice at all! There's being a gentleman and overdoing it. I don't want someome whyo jumps at my every whim. I want a man, one that can be gentle and a gentleman at the right time. |
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Had something like that and it's called "Coming on too strong" Having had a passionate night/kiss etc with chemistry, great! But maybe she was somewhat overwhelmed by it and needed some space the next day to think about it and let it sink in. Then there's an over the top poem ... Over the top, as it is too soon. And a man that lives to please me? F O! Had one of those, they smother you, make you feel like you're being throttled. If you say your neck hurts, they jump up to give you a massage (without even asking if you want that), when you say "I'm hungry" they run in the kitchen to make you some food and so on. May sound like paradise, but trust me, it's not nice at all! There's being a gentleman and overdoing it. I don't want someome whyo jumps at my every whim. I want a man, one that can be gentle and a gentleman at the right time. Perhaps I am guilty as charged and thank you for sharing that, I have never seen it that way, definitely a flaw on my part that I should address. I truly appreciate that input. |
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