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| Topic: Why do men want to chat straight away? | |
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Since being here I have encountered 15 "women" that ask for email address right away, and it turns out they are either a nurse or UN worker in Africa LOL.. Yeh right more like a grub in some 3rd world country trying to scam folks. So I think the guys that want to chat right away are sick of writing a lengthy description of themselves through an email with the hope she may be the one only to find out she's not.. LOL.. I find Facebook more effective as you can see more photos, posts and friends list to better help you determine if they are real or not and if they aren't u can always unfriend.. I would never add a complete stranger on Facebook. That's for people I already know that I can trust with personal info. Not for strangers. 
I agree I am totally suspicious of people who request FB before they know you well. I question anyone who tries to get me off of the site before we know each other fairly well....it's usually a scam or they are looking for a casual encounter...which is fine if they are honest about it. but I am not looking for that so it just gets awkward I love the ones who say in like the 2nd or 3rd IM - "What are you wearing?" I usually tell them blue flannel snowman pajamas and end it fairly shortly after. Usually they are looking for cam sex there may be some exceptions but I haven't found any lol hey... whatcha wearing? a sweaty cut off T shirt and smelly sneakers with no socks...wanna hug big boy??  
ummm... are the smelly sneakers more than 4 years old? |
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Edited by
sweetestgirl11
on
Sun 08/25/13 10:23 AM
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Since being here I have encountered 15 "women" that ask for email address right away, and it turns out they are either a nurse or UN worker in Africa LOL.. Yeh right more like a grub in some 3rd world country trying to scam folks. So I think the guys that want to chat right away are sick of writing a lengthy description of themselves through an email with the hope she may be the one only to find out she's not.. LOL.. I find Facebook more effective as you can see more photos, posts and friends list to better help you determine if they are real or not and if they aren't u can always unfriend.. I would never add a complete stranger on Facebook. That's for people I already know that I can trust with personal info. Not for strangers.
I agree I am totally suspicious of people who request FB before they know you well. I question anyone who tries to get me off of the site before we know each other fairly well....it's usually a scam or they are looking for a casual encounter...which is fine if they are honest about it. but I am not looking for that so it just gets awkward I love the ones who say in like the 2nd or 3rd IM - "What are you wearing?" I usually tell them blue flannel snowman pajamas and end it fairly shortly after. Usually they are looking for cam sex there may be some exceptions but I haven't found any lol hey... whatcha wearing? a sweaty cut off T shirt and smelly sneakers with no socks...wanna hug big boy??
ummm... are the smelly sneakers more than 4 years old? no they are my merrells that I got last spring....but they are all dirty cuz I wore them climbing last weekend and smelly cuz I never wear socks...lol you can wash them for me....I'll wear them in the tub |
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I believe they want to find out, as quickly as possible: (1) What you really look like (2) How easy you might be (3) How desperate you may be (4) How soon they can move on to the next if the above do not pan out. And yet, they are the ones who want to start slow, see where it goes! They do NOT like taking a number :-) nail on head. 
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lol
I thought mingle males were smarter than this...if she doesn;t wanna chat or she ends the chat early it means she is not interested suck it up and move on
thought you guys woulda had tha figgered out by now
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Since being here I have encountered 15 "women" that ask for email address right away, and it turns out they are either a nurse or UN worker in Africa LOL.. Yeh right more like a grub in some 3rd world country trying to scam folks. So I think the guys that want to chat right away are sick of writing a lengthy description of themselves through an email with the hope she may be the one only to find out she's not.. LOL.. I find Facebook more effective as you can see more photos, posts and friends list to better help you determine if they are real or not and if they aren't u can always unfriend.. I would never add a complete stranger on Facebook. That's for people I already know that I can trust with personal info. Not for strangers.
I agree I am totally suspicious of people who request FB before they know you well. I question anyone who tries to get me off of the site before we know each other fairly well....it's usually a scam or they are looking for a casual encounter...which is fine if they are honest about it. but I am not looking for that so it just gets awkward I love the ones who say in like the 2nd or 3rd IM - "What are you wearing?" I usually tell them blue flannel snowman pajamas and end it fairly shortly after. Usually they are looking for cam sex there may be some exceptions but I haven't found any lol hey... whatcha wearing? a sweaty cut off T shirt and smelly sneakers with no socks...wanna hug big boy??
ummm... are the smelly sneakers more than 4 years old? no they are my merrells that I got last spring....but they are all dirty cuz I wore them climbing last weekend and smelly cuz I never wear socks...lol you can wash them for me....I'll wear them in the tub lol I guess the answer to that was no
ok I'll wash my own sneakers then 
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Since being here I have encountered 15 "women" that ask for email address right away, and it turns out they are either a nurse or UN worker in Africa LOL.. Yeh right more like a grub in some 3rd world country trying to scam folks. So I think the guys that want to chat right away are sick of writing a lengthy description of themselves through an email with the hope she may be the one only to find out she's not.. LOL.. I find Facebook more effective as you can see more photos, posts and friends list to better help you determine if they are real or not and if they aren't u can always unfriend.. I would never add a complete stranger on Facebook. That's for people I already know that I can trust with personal info. Not for strangers.
I agree I am totally suspicious of people who request FB before they know you well. I question anyone who tries to get me off of the site before we know each other fairly well....it's usually a scam or they are looking for a casual encounter...which is fine if they are honest about it. but I am not looking for that so it just gets awkward I love the ones who say in like the 2nd or 3rd IM - "What are you wearing?" I usually tell them blue flannel snowman pajamas and end it fairly shortly after. Usually they are looking for cam sex there may be some exceptions but I haven't found any lol hey... whatcha wearing? a sweaty cut off T shirt and smelly sneakers with no socks...wanna hug big boy??
ummm... are the smelly sneakers more than 4 years old? no they are my merrells that I got last spring....but they are all dirty cuz I wore them climbing last weekend and smelly cuz I never wear socks...lol you can wash them for me....I'll wear them in the tub lol I guess the answer to that was no
ok I'll wash my own sneakers then
id just toss them in the washer... |
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I don't really understand why most men want to chat after exchanging 1 or 2 messages? Not just here, on most dating sites. I don't like chatting, maybe if there's a real click in the messages, conversation going smooth, is catchy and fun. Then I will be inclined to talk to someone. But as long as exchange is more like exploring and/or not so smooth straight away, I don't feel like chatting. If I was to chat with each man that asked me, I wouldn't have time to do anything else anymore. I don't say that to boast, I'm not into ego BS, just to illustrate why I don't like it: it eats up too much time. It's not so different from having lengthy phone-calls, which is something I wouldn't want every evening either. I get cranky when that happens 
Now a number of men I've been in touch with, said they were dyslectic, but I can't believe suddenly most men are dyslectic? Is this chat thing cos many men can't type well? I find it rather frustrating, as things always seem to get sticky when you decline an invite to chat, even when things were okay before. It seems like you have to come up with one he** of a good reason for not wanting to chat for the man to accept it. I don't want to be pushed into something that I don't want. Things like that should go by themselves, both having the desire to talk to one another. So why do men so forcefully try to get a woman to chat with them? We like to cut through the chase and get to the prize? |
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I don't understand this post? is that what the sites about?To Chat? and see how things go
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Edited by
mightymoe
on
Sun 08/25/13 12:45 PM
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I don't understand this post? is that what the sites about?To Chat? and see how things go apparently not... pic and choose from the pics and not chat... women are just weird anyway, so in a weird way, it makes sense... |
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Since being here I have encountered 15 "women" that ask for email address right away, and it turns out they are either a nurse or UN worker in Africa LOL.. Yeh right more like a grub in some 3rd world country trying to scam folks. So I think the guys that want to chat right away are sick of writing a lengthy description of themselves through an email with the hope she may be the one only to find out she's not.. LOL.. I find Facebook more effective as you can see more photos, posts and friends list to better help you determine if they are real or not and if they aren't u can always unfriend.. I would never add a complete stranger on Facebook. That's for people I already know that I can trust with personal info. Not for strangers.
I agree I am totally suspicious of people who request FB before they know you well. I question anyone who tries to get me off of the site before we know each other fairly well....it's usually a scam or they are looking for a casual encounter...which is fine if they are honest about it. but I am not looking for that so it just gets awkward I love the ones who say in like the 2nd or 3rd IM - "What are you wearing?" I usually tell them blue flannel snowman pajamas and end it fairly shortly after. Usually they are looking for cam sex there may be some exceptions but I haven't found any lol hey... whatcha wearing? a sweaty cut off T shirt and smelly sneakers with no socks...wanna hug big boy??
ummm... are the smelly sneakers more than 4 years old? no they are my merrells that I got last spring....but they are all dirty cuz I wore them climbing last weekend and smelly cuz I never wear socks...lol you can wash them for me....I'll wear them in the tub lol I guess the answer to that was no
ok I'll wash my own sneakers then
id just toss them in the washer...  with me in them?
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I don't understand this post? is that what the sites about?To Chat? and see how things go apparently not... pic and choose from the pics and not chat... women are just weird anyway, so in a weird way, it makes sense... of course it makes sense if we wanna chat we'll chat why is that so hard to understand? 
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i still don't get what this thread is about... are guys just not supposed to try and chat with someone they want to with? doesn't make any sense to me... but maybe one of the guys that wants to chat is your soulmate, but since you don't wanna chat, you missed out...lol good luck with the non-chats
Stick with it, it only took a few pages till it became clear I was talking about chat-with-cam, video chat, which apparently wasn't clear to most. Cannot change the topic's header anymore, so it got somewhat confusing. But then again, it makes clear that there's different understandings of the word "chat". In my experience most men want to use Skype when they ask to chat. IM is not a prob, although I had it happen that a guy was watching a sports match whilst chatting via IM. I didn't really get why I had to wait yonks for a reply till he said he was watching some sports match on tv. Great, thanks very much for wasting my time, pfff .. |
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That's exactly why. Just as you don't want to waste time on every man you see, we also don't want to waste time on every woman we see.
It takes about 5 minutes and zero risk to evaluate via chat if someone is worth spending any more time on: shared interests, shared views, can she hold a conversation or does she expect me to do everything including fill the silence with entertainment for her? (amazingly common) Personally I prefer text chat for a start because I'm not going to waste my time on someone who can't write a complete sentence. That's a good indicator of many other things. |
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Mon 08/26/13 06:24 AM
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Personally I prefer text chat for a start because I'm not going to waste my time on someone who can't write a complete sentence. That's a good indicator of many other things. Totally agree with that :) ... or does she expect me to do everything including fill the silence with entertainment for her? (amazingly common)
It might surprise you, but that goes for men too ... 
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if you walked in our shoes you would understand.woman have there stuff also.they typecast us with the smallest bit of info,like what color socks we are warring. its not easy on either side of the fence.womans lib did a lot to hurt mens image of how or what we are as men. the real fix is if both sides take a good hard look at there on stuff first. most will not. the fear of the unknown,and every one has favorite feelings to recycle and validate beliefs they formed in childhood. most will stay in there own awareness.....you want the answer to your question and there are feelings involved,, look inside first...to really see that other person.... first you clear your head of all negative beliefs about others all the stuff trying to sneak back and all negative stuff you were about recyle.......its the the stuff in our heads we use as a filter to see others.......
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I don't understand this post? is that what the sites about?To Chat? and see how things go It is, but if you read this thread, you'll see she's talking about video chat, not just chatting online. |
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I don't understand this post? is that what the sites about?To Chat? and see how things go apparently not... pic and choose from the pics and not chat... women are just weird anyway, so in a weird way, it makes sense... Since when is it weird to not want to video chat? |
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Edited by
mightymoe
on
Mon 08/26/13 11:40 AM
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I don't understand this post? is that what the sites about?To Chat? and see how things go apparently not... pic and choose from the pics and not chat... women are just weird anyway, so in a weird way, it makes sense... Since when is it weird to not want to video chat? never mind, she explained it to me... |
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i still don't get what this thread is about... are guys just not supposed to try and chat with someone they want to with? doesn't make any sense to me... but maybe one of the guys that wants to chat is your soulmate, but since you don't wanna chat, you missed out...lol good luck with the non-chats
Stick with it, it only took a few pages till it became clear I was talking about chat-with-cam, video chat, which apparently wasn't clear to most. Cannot change the topic's header anymore, so it got somewhat confusing. But then again, it makes clear that there's different understandings of the word "chat". In my experience most men want to use Skype when they ask to chat. IM is not a prob, although I had it happen that a guy was watching a sports match whilst chatting via IM. I didn't really get why I had to wait yonks for a reply till he said he was watching some sports match on tv. Great, thanks very much for wasting my time, pfff .. yea, sing was talking about that too... i didn't know you were talking about VC, which makes some sense now. i've never asked anyone to VC, except my ex, to talk with my kids... but i actually agree with you on that...
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
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Mon 08/26/13 12:19 PM
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I turn "Chat" off. That way, I don't have a problem. Men on datesites can move faster in communicating with the women, with the "Chat". I like Men who can take the time to Email me.
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