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Topic: Why do men want to chat straight away?
SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 08/19/13 01:45 PM
I don't really understand why most men want to chat after exchanging 1 or 2 messages?
Not just here, on most dating sites. I don't like chatting, maybe if there's a real click in the messages, conversation going smooth, is catchy and fun. Then I will be inclined to talk to someone. But as long as exchange is more like exploring and/or not so smooth straight away, I don't feel like chatting.
If I was to chat with each man that asked me, I wouldn't have time to do anything else anymore. I don't say that to boast, I'm not into ego BS, just to illustrate why I don't like it: it eats up too much time.
It's not so different from having lengthy phone-calls, which is something I wouldn't want every evening either. I get cranky when that happens :angel:

Now a number of men I've been in touch with, said they were dyslectic, but I can't believe suddenly most men are dyslectic?
Is this chat thing cos many men can't type well?

I find it rather frustrating, as things always seem to get sticky when you decline an invite to chat, even when things were okay before. It seems like you have to come up with one he** of a good reason for not wanting to chat for the man to accept it.
I don't want to be pushed into something that I don't want. Things like that should go by themselves, both having the desire to talk to one another.

So why do men so forcefully try to get a woman to chat with them?


sunnybiswas's photo
Mon 08/19/13 01:57 PM
Yeah....i agree wid u.....even tho i am male.....?

soufiehere's photo
Mon 08/19/13 01:58 PM
I believe they want to find out, as quickly as possible:
(1) What you really look like
(2) How easy you might be
(3) How desperate you may be
(4) How soon they can move on to the next
if the above do not pan out.

And yet, they are the ones who want to start
slow, see where it goes!

They do NOT like taking a number :-)

no photo
Mon 08/19/13 01:58 PM
Edited by esebulldog on Mon 08/19/13 02:00 PM
Typing is not a skill most men have. It's just easier for some men to chat than to type. Plus, if a woman is a stickler for spelling and grammar, than a man who has limited typing skills is really in for a challenge. I guarantee I guarantee that most men would rather talk than type

(bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)

*edited for grammar and spelling

no photo
Mon 08/19/13 01:59 PM

I believe they want to find out, as quickly as possible:
(1) What you really look like
(2) How easy you might be
(3) How desperate you may be
(4) How soon they can move on to the next
if the above do not pan out.

And yet, they are the ones who want to start
slow, see where it goes!

They do NOT like taking a number :-)



nail on head.drinker

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 08/19/13 02:13 PM

I believe they want to find out, as quickly as possible:
(1) What you really look like
(2) How easy you might be
(3) How desperate you may be
(4) How soon they can move on to the next
if the above do not pan out.

And yet, they are the ones who want to start
slow, see where it goes!

They do NOT like taking a number :-)


Hmm... kind of like a vicious circle, as I don't feel like investing my time and energy in each and every man that want to check out 1 thru 4, haha. I only wanna invest my time if the guy is worth it. Guess that way it's never gonna work out, lol.

1) I really look like the pictures in my profile
2) Not. I'm not here for a hot date shades
3) Not the slightest li'll bit
4) if he don't like my 1-3, it's probs for the best he moves on to the next (and then I'm glad I didn't waste my time on a chat) bigsmile

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 08/19/13 02:14 PM
Still, it's a really annoying problem..
How do you ladies deal with it?

mdodge66's photo
Mon 08/19/13 02:20 PM
I used to enjoy having a pen pal writing letters you got to know the person from the inside out ,things went slow,and you always had that I can't wait for thier next letter anticipation inside of you .so when you did finally talk it ment something hearing thier voice for first time etc.

soufiehere's photo
Mon 08/19/13 02:25 PM

Still, it's a really annoying problem..
How do you ladies deal with it?

Well, and you might not like what I used to do,
but I always made them wait a year to meet,
just to build up some kind of letch for them
via mail/phone.

You would not be surprised, of course, at how
many do not care to stay the course.
But some did :-)

no photo
Mon 08/19/13 02:33 PM
Good point, let's chat about it ASAP.

lonelyman3036's photo
Mon 08/19/13 02:37 PM
Chatting is way quicker than messaging. Not all of us guys are poon hounds (some are, but not all). I like to chat in between tasks at work and messaging can really throw a wrench in that.

lonelyman3036's photo
Mon 08/19/13 02:37 PM

Good point, let's chat about it ASAP.

/thread.

no photo
Mon 08/19/13 02:40 PM

Still, it's a really annoying problem..
How do you ladies deal with it?

you're on a dating site to meet men. you are meeting men who want to try to communicate with you. if it matters that much to you how the communication is accomplished, than the rest of the relationship is going to be a series of how load the toilet paper, where to squeeze the toothpaste tube, which side of your mouth to chew on...

it's the little foxes that spoil the vine. i guarantee i guarantee that the more slack you give a man, the less disappointed you will be
(bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)

krupa's photo
Mon 08/19/13 03:02 PM
I can understand...But,as a guy...I gotta point out something...

How in the hell is a guy supposed to just automatically know that a woman don't wanna chat?

We ain't psychic...and honestly...half the time a woman don't even know what she wants every other day.

Secondly...chats are small steps that can potentially lead to actual deep philosophical conversations.

ain't no damned way I am gonna bother discussing the real inner me until I figure out if the chick is a superficial flake....which is easily discernable after a few innocent chats.

Just sayin....

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 08/19/13 03:13 PM


Still, it's a really annoying problem..
How do you ladies deal with it?

you're on a dating site to meet men. you are meeting men who want to try to communicate with you. if it matters that much to you how the communication is accomplished, than the rest of the relationship is going to be a series of how load the toilet paper, where to squeeze the toothpaste tube, which side of your mouth to chew on...

it's the little foxes that spoil the vine. i guarantee i guarantee that the more slack you give a man, the less disappointed you will be
(bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)

That goes the other way round as well: men are here to meet women. If the woman clearly shows interest, why should she have to cut him lots of slack, communicate the way it suits him? What about him making an effort to hang on to this woman that is interested in him and cut her some slack and be a little more patient?
It's a two-way street and if one isn't comfortable with one thing just yet, the other shouldn't push for it.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 08/19/13 03:19 PM

I can understand...But,as a guy...I gotta point out something...

How in the hell is a guy supposed to just automatically know that a woman don't wanna chat?

Because you make this clear when he asks. And then he gets awkward.

no photo
Mon 08/19/13 03:26 PM
communication is good for a relationship. if you want to type messages, than it would be nice if the bloke you are communicating with wants to type too. what i am saying is that not all men can. you could be missing out on a very special guy just because he can't type. if his typing skills are more important to you, than stick to your guns

as far as krupa goes, i guarantee i guarantee he is being respectful

(bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)

mightymoe's photo
Mon 08/19/13 03:28 PM

I don't really understand why most men want to chat after exchanging 1 or 2 messages?
Not just here, on most dating sites. I don't like chatting, maybe if there's a real click in the messages, conversation going smooth, is catchy and fun. Then I will be inclined to talk to someone. But as long as exchange is more like exploring and/or not so smooth straight away, I don't feel like chatting.
If I was to chat with each man that asked me, I wouldn't have time to do anything else anymore. I don't say that to boast, I'm not into ego BS, just to illustrate why I don't like it: it eats up too much time.
It's not so different from having lengthy phone-calls, which is something I wouldn't want every evening either. I get cranky when that happens :angel:

Now a number of men I've been in touch with, said they were dyslectic, but I can't believe suddenly most men are dyslectic?
Is this chat thing cos many men can't type well?

I find it rather frustrating, as things always seem to get sticky when you decline an invite to chat, even when things were okay before. It seems like you have to come up with one he** of a good reason for not wanting to chat for the man to accept it.
I don't want to be pushed into something that I don't want. Things like that should go by themselves, both having the desire to talk to one another.

So why do men so forcefully try to get a woman to chat with them?




i'm missing something here... if you don't like chatting, and don't like talking on the phone, why are you here?

Candiapples's photo
Mon 08/19/13 03:29 PM

I don't really understand why most men want to chat after exchanging 1 or 2 messages?
Not just here, on most dating sites. I don't like chatting, maybe if there's a real click in the messages, conversation going smooth, is catchy and fun. Then I will be inclined to talk to someone. But as long as exchange is more like exploring and/or not so smooth straight away, I don't feel like chatting.
If I was to chat with each man that asked me, I wouldn't have time to do anything else anymore. I don't say that to boast, I'm not into ego BS, just to illustrate why I don't like it: it eats up too much time.
It's not so different from having lengthy phone-calls, which is something I wouldn't want every evening either. I get cranky when that happens :angel:

Now a number of men I've been in touch with, said they were dyslectic, but I can't believe suddenly most men are dyslectic?
Is this chat thing cos many men can't type well?

I find it rather frustrating, as things always seem to get sticky when you decline an invite to chat, even when things were okay before. It seems like you have to come up with one he** of a good reason for not wanting to chat for the man to accept it.
I don't want to be pushed into something that I don't want. Things like that should go by themselves, both having the desire to talk to one another.

So why do men so forcefully try to get a woman to chat with them?



These types usually want to get down and dirty righr away pitchfork

Dodo_David's photo
Mon 08/19/13 03:50 PM
So why do men so forcefully try to get a woman to chat with them?


Because the men are in a hurry to put their feet in their mouths?

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