Not sure how I missed this, but I love it!!!!!!!!!!

I only posted once.

Ain't that the truth.

I was going to say something but I forgot the question, and ya, I agree with Krupa also

I'd worry about a friend who got involved with a controlling and/or jealous and vindictive spouse or partner...Or a friend who seemed unhappy and started causing "trouble." (Just out of the blue.)...I'd definitely figure that something was "wrong." But it's not easy to talk to someone who is unhappy. (And not "owning-up" to it.)...People like this have a tendency to get defensive and blame others for their unhappiness. Don't you think?...So I'd probably just let them "be" and hope that they "wake-up" at some point and come to their senses...I wouldn't want to become their "target" or scapegoat. And I wouldn't want to become codependent (either) and spend my life trying to "fix" or "save them" when they don't think they have any problems. (And view me or others as "the problem.".. Never themselves!)

Excellent post Greeneyes.
What you said makes so much sense .I agree 100%
I know there are people like that and its sad, but the world is filled with them.

By the way..Happy Easter

Thanks! Happy Easter to you too Betty!...It's always nice to have caring and thoughtful and logical and rational and dependable friends. (Versus "fair-weather friends" who play games and cause "trouble.")...I try to "weed-out" the "game-players" or "users" early-on (if possible) but sometimes I still get fooled. How about you?

Of for sure I do. But that is just part of life I think.
IT can hurt big time when it happens after awhile I realize THEY NEVER were a friend in the first place.

hi ,i guess i am nobody.i read your profile! you need to read the book -- act like a lady, think like a man.i think then you will understand better why people end up with the feelings they do over the friends issue. check it out, i could not put the book down. good luck, and i hope it works out for you.... cleve

this is a good post. and your view of things would make you more likely, I think to be a person who your friend would come to talk with eventually because you haven't been an interfering type.

the only thing I question is whose position it is to decide personal happiness. For me it is me. Someone else may think I am unhappy but if I feel I am happy I am. There may be some things we all tend to be unhappy about now & then....but it is the individual's choise to determine whether or not they are happy overall as a person, and if unhappy what if anything to do about it.

I will admit that there are some people I don't talk with because they either tried to make me discuss things I did not wish to discuss or gave unsolicited advice or told me without prompt (I did not ask) what my fault was in a situation (and they really did not know). I don't regret that decision at all and am not missing those individuals at all...jmho

I may have thoughts about someone's situation but I try to keep my mouth "zipped closed" most of the time when it comes to my personal relationships. (Or even the way I related to my sons when they were alive.)...No one wants to be handed unsolicited advice. I know I don't!...A few people started treating me like I was a small child (again) after my husband passed away. I didn't run to them (or anyone) seeking advice.. Life hasn't been easy but I take pride in figuring out solutions to my problems and "playing soldier" and going it "alone" most of the time...Anyway I'm careful about what I say to people because I'm not a big fan of unsolicited advice either....It's one thing to "have thoughts" about the way someone is living his or her life. But I think it's wise to "think" before we "speak" and "weigh" everything first. Don't you?

It sounds like a good book!

you read my profile...you will find there are a lot that don't.
Anyhow thank you for posting and welcome to M2.

What main reason for this type of thing happening did you take away from reading that book?

What does it mean (or take) to be a good friend? How do you feel about it?...To me it's all about being dependable. Keeping promises...Coming "through" for people no matter what. (Even when it's inconvenient.)...And it involves taking the time to get to know each one of our friends as "individuals." Don't you think?...Everyone isn't going to be "just like us!" We all have our own unique style and preferences and people and places and "things" that are "near and dear" to our heart...Anyway I spend time thinking about what it means to be a "good friend." And I push myself to be a "better friend" to myself too! (When I start treating myself "badly.") How about you?...Thanks for all your responses. Hope you had a wonderful Easter.

That is a very good question Green Eyes.
I think being a good friend is being the person that someone can be certain of. They know that when they need you , they can count on you.
You are honest with them and will even kick their butt when needed for their own sake. I f you have a difference of opinion ,you can talk it out with them.
Never do they walk away from you just because they met somebody new.

Betty...I agree with all you wrote about being a good friend...Awhile back ago one of my friends (who is also a widow) decided to start dating someone. (Which was great!)...But she sort of "blew" me "off" (along with her other girlfriends) and put all of her "eggs" in the guy's "basket."...She came on super-strong with the man and started planning their life together. (This seemed like a big mistake but she was certain that their relationship was "for sure" and a "done deal.")...My friend had a close-knit relationship with her husband for over 30 years and wanted to have this same type of closeness again with the new man she met...She became like a teenager "in love" and spent every waking moment thinking and dreaming about her new life with her "new guy." And didn't have time for anyone or anything else...Unfortunately the relationship "fizzled-out" pretty fast and my friend was "crushed." And she's never been the same...She seems mad and angry at the whole world and full of self-pity all the time...I'm sure she probably feels embarrassed too because she bragged and boasted about her "new love" and new life to everyone...I still care about my friend but it's not easy to be her friend anymore since she always seems so angry and full of self-pity. Sad!

That's a shame that happened to her I guess she got too caught up in the excitement of 'feeling' again. Know what I mean?

I still believe with all my heart that friends should be valued and not disposed of. THE day will come you may want them back when they are left alone and then what? Like you said ,very hard to take them back and trust them again.
I might thought, depending on the circumstances.

It does seem like we live in a "disposable society" even when it comes to friends or mates. Sad!..I enjoy having a long history and lots of "shared memories" with friends. (If possible!)...I'm sure you feel this way too. I don't want to "kick" anyone to the "curb!" Thanks for all your responses back and forth!...I just remembered. I think today is "April Fool's Day." Isn't it?...I don't have my son or husband around to pull any pranks on me anymore. (Boo Hoo!) Sorry you lost your husband and the "love of your life" and best friend too.

Sorry for your loss as well.

One thing I have learned over the years is life is too short to care about phoney people. If they don't want to be around me they don't have too. I myself will always be a friend unless I am given a reason not to. Friendship is earned not an entitlement .

I guess "entitlement" is the problem with some people. Thanks for bringing it up...And it all boils down to the "work ethic." Don't you think?...We can't expect to grow healthy flowers or veggies in our garden if we forget (or fail) to water what we "plant."...And it's the same way with our friendships or even our love relationships...Nothing is really "owed" to us and it's foolish to take anyone for granted. Don't you think?