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| Topic: Personality changes | |
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After reading this entire thread and understanding each person’s valid point of view about how one person changes toward their friends after getting together with someone new, I’m left looking at this picture from a two sided, rather than a one sided view, via the personal experience that friends on both sides of any new relationship can feel left out. This kind of personality shift on both partners part to focus solely on each other while keeping friends and family members at a distance could be a mutually agreed upon effort to give them the time and space they both need to achieve the deeper connection they seek and may find easier to reach without having to explain or defend their personal choices that those closest to them might not agree with. My personal feelings about the involvement of friends in others relationships is that if they are true friends to both partners separately, than together they will accept and enjoy the company of their friends new partners once the time comes for meeting and mingling. And if any of the friendships don’t last than perhaps the friendships weren’t as strong or as close as first thought, and now that the choice of new partners has caused a division, those that aren’t in it for the long haul move on. Come see, come saw.(jmho) Thank you Athena. I agree with what you wrote. People should never interfere with somebody's relationship. However the people that I was talking about are the ones that once they get involved with somebody new they become nasty to their friends simply because their new partner is jealous or something. That's what I have trouble understanding. Hi Betty... I wasn't suggesting that family and friends were "interfering", only that new couples enjoy their one on one alone time, and when it’s time to meet and mingle with their partners friends then they will know who the tried and true really are, and who will be left by the wayside. It has been my experience that every new couple desires this honeymoon phase, and doesn’t necessarily imply that there are problems with friends that cause a division so deep that either partner defends their new relationship by becoming mean or nasty to either sides friends… However, I think I am misunderstanding your point that one partner in the relationship lost, or chased off their friends by becoming mean and nasty to them, and that jealousy may have something to do with why their personality changed toward their friends. This picture isn’t clear to me specifically, I was responding more to the overall impression I got from reading everyone’s response to your original post. If you wouldn’t mind though, could you give an example to your following statement… “It is when they claim to be so in love and yet they become mean and nasty to others including people that once were their friends. My only guess is either they are not as happy as they say they are or Jealousy has reared its ugly head.” I don’t understand who you are referring too as not being as happy as they seem to be, are you talking about the couple, or the friends of the couple, or the couple and their friends? And how does jealousy play a part in causing a division if the relationships involved were on a firm foundation to begin with? Thank you Athena. I will try to my best to clear this up. I do agree with all the points you made ,I think they are very valid. This is something that has happened a few times to people know. This is another example besides the one I gave to Greeneyes of what I am trying to say. A friend I have had a group of 4 friends that were very close. They were not together often except they would go out for a drink or dinner on Bds and for Christmas. They would chat it up on the phone sometimes. Then one of the girls got a new bf and she became rude to her friends and starting nasty rumours about one of the girls husband's and said another ones BF was stealing. She was trying to cause trouble for everyone. None of it was true, because the other three friends are still together.They suspect the new Bf is the problem that he is jealous of the her friends Bfs. because he is very insecure and jealous. |
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Edited by
BettyB
on
Sat 03/30/13 07:50 AM
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I said that at the very beginning. have noticed this so many times when people get into a relationship. Some become very mellow and seem happier and nicer than ever. That I can I understand, It is when they claim to be so in love and yet they become mean and nasty to others including people that once were their friends. My only guess is either they are not as happy as they say they are or Jealousy has reared its ugly head. What are your thoughts? My thoughts are that you are talking from personal experience and about your friends. I don't know any of these people. You say that you would never interfere. Well, okay but you do seem to be taking sides and saying that sometimes one of your friends in this situation becomes "mean and nasty" to some of your other friends. How do you know that those other friends weren't gosiping or interfering and that's the reason for it? Its possible, but in this case not likely because too many friends got hurt by this girl and she rejected them all. They all got along before the new Bf came into the picture.That's why I think jealousy has a play in this. But yes it may very well be something else, just the way it seems. I have also seen similar cases happen and so have other posters on here ,so who really knows? Nobody I guess. |
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Edited by
AthenaRose2
on
Sat 03/30/13 07:57 AM
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After reading this entire thread and understanding each person’s valid point of view about how one person changes toward their friends after getting together with someone new, I’m left looking at this picture from a two sided, rather than a one sided view, via the personal experience that friends on both sides of any new relationship can feel left out. This kind of personality shift on both partners part to focus solely on each other while keeping friends and family members at a distance could be a mutually agreed upon effort to give them the time and space they both need to achieve the deeper connection they seek and may find easier to reach without having to explain or defend their personal choices that those closest to them might not agree with. My personal feelings about the involvement of friends in others relationships is that if they are true friends to both partners separately, than together they will accept and enjoy the company of their friends new partners once the time comes for meeting and mingling. And if any of the friendships don’t last than perhaps the friendships weren’t as strong or as close as first thought, and now that the choice of new partners has caused a division, those that aren’t in it for the long haul move on. Come see, come saw.(jmho) Thank you Athena. I agree with what you wrote. People should never interfere with somebody's relationship. However the people that I was talking about are the ones that once they get involved with somebody new they become nasty to their friends simply because their new partner is jealous or something. That's what I have trouble understanding. Hi Betty... I wasn't suggesting that family and friends were "interfering", only that new couples enjoy their one on one alone time, and when it’s time to meet and mingle with their partners friends then they will know who the tried and true really are, and who will be left by the wayside. It has been my experience that every new couple desires this honeymoon phase, and doesn’t necessarily imply that there are problems with friends that cause a division so deep that either partner defends their new relationship by becoming mean or nasty to either sides friends… However, I think I am misunderstanding your point that one partner in the relationship lost, or chased off their friends by becoming mean and nasty to them, and that jealousy may have something to do with why their personality changed toward their friends. This picture isn’t clear to me specifically, I was responding more to the overall impression I got from reading everyone’s response to your original post. If you wouldn’t mind though, could you give an example to your following statement… “It is when they claim to be so in love and yet they become mean and nasty to others including people that once were their friends. My only guess is either they are not as happy as they say they are or Jealousy has reared its ugly head.” I don’t understand who you are referring too as not being as happy as they seem to be, are you talking about the couple, or the friends of the couple, or the couple and their friends? And how does jealousy play a part in causing a division if the relationships involved were on a firm foundation to begin with? Thank you Athena. I will try to my best to clear this up. I do agree with all the points you made ,I think they are very valid. This is something that has happened a few times to people know. This is another example besides the one I gave to Greeneyes of what I am trying to say. A friend I have had a group of 4 friends that were very close. They were not together often except they would go out for a drink or dinner on Bds and for Christmas. They would chat it up on the phone sometimes. Then one of the girls got a new bf and she became rude to her friends and starting nasty rumours about one of the girls husband's and said another ones BF was stealing. She was trying to cause trouble for everyone. None of it was true, because the other three friends are still together.They suspect the new Bf is the problem that he is jealous of the her friends Bfs. because he is very insecure and jealous. That's a real shame, Betty... Now I understand the jealousy angle on the part of the woman with a new boyfriend... her inappropriate, and probably shocking to all the friends, behavior, definitely signaled something amiss. I hope everything eventually went back to normal... or is the troubling couple still together? Anyway, this scenario certainly gave us food for thought about how people can act when they first find new love... love can make us behave most irrationally sometimes... goes with the territory...  thank you for taking the time to expound further...  
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After reading this entire thread and understanding each person’s valid point of view about how one person changes toward their friends after getting together with someone new, I’m left looking at this picture from a two sided, rather than a one sided view, via the personal experience that friends on both sides of any new relationship can feel left out. This kind of personality shift on both partners part to focus solely on each other while keeping friends and family members at a distance could be a mutually agreed upon effort to give them the time and space they both need to achieve the deeper connection they seek and may find easier to reach without having to explain or defend their personal choices that those closest to them might not agree with. My personal feelings about the involvement of friends in others relationships is that if they are true friends to both partners separately, than together they will accept and enjoy the company of their friends new partners once the time comes for meeting and mingling. And if any of the friendships don’t last than perhaps the friendships weren’t as strong or as close as first thought, and now that the choice of new partners has caused a division, those that aren’t in it for the long haul move on. Come see, come saw.(jmho) Thank you Athena. I agree with what you wrote. People should never interfere with somebody's relationship. However the people that I was talking about are the ones that once they get involved with somebody new they become nasty to their friends simply because their new partner is jealous or something. That's what I have trouble understanding. Hi Betty... I wasn't suggesting that family and friends were "interfering", only that new couples enjoy their one on one alone time, and when it’s time to meet and mingle with their partners friends then they will know who the tried and true really are, and who will be left by the wayside. It has been my experience that every new couple desires this honeymoon phase, and doesn’t necessarily imply that there are problems with friends that cause a division so deep that either partner defends their new relationship by becoming mean or nasty to either sides friends… However, I think I am misunderstanding your point that one partner in the relationship lost, or chased off their friends by becoming mean and nasty to them, and that jealousy may have something to do with why their personality changed toward their friends. This picture isn’t clear to me specifically, I was responding more to the overall impression I got from reading everyone’s response to your original post. If you wouldn’t mind though, could you give an example to your following statement… “It is when they claim to be so in love and yet they become mean and nasty to others including people that once were their friends. My only guess is either they are not as happy as they say they are or Jealousy has reared its ugly head.” I don’t understand who you are referring too as not being as happy as they seem to be, are you talking about the couple, or the friends of the couple, or the couple and their friends? And how does jealousy play a part in causing a division if the relationships involved were on a firm foundation to begin with? Thank you Athena. I will try to my best to clear this up. I do agree with all the points you made ,I think they are very valid. This is something that has happened a few times to people know. This is another example besides the one I gave to Greeneyes of what I am trying to say. A friend I have had a group of 4 friends that were very close. They were not together often except they would go out for a drink or dinner on Bds and for Christmas. They would chat it up on the phone sometimes. Then one of the girls got a new bf and she became rude to her friends and starting nasty rumours about one of the girls husband's and said another ones BF was stealing. She was trying to cause trouble for everyone. None of it was true, because the other three friends are still together.They suspect the new Bf is the problem that he is jealous of the her friends Bfs. because he is very insecure and jealous. That's a real shame, Betty... Now I understand the jealousy angle on the part of the woman with a new boyfriend... her inappropriate, and probably shocking to all the friends, behavior, definitely signaled something amiss. I hope everything eventually went back to normal... or is the troubling couple still together? Anyway, this scenario certainly gave us food for thought about how people can act when they first find new love... love can make us behave most irrationally sometimes... goes with the territory... thank you for taking the time to expound further...
[/quote iT is a shame when that happens. I do not know if they are still together ,but it doesn't sound like it will be a healthy relationship . Have you ever experienced anything like this? |
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I said that at the very beginning. have noticed this so many times when people get into a relationship. Some become very mellow and seem happier and nicer than ever. That I can I understand, It is when they claim to be so in love and yet they become mean and nasty to others including people that once were their friends. My only guess is either they are not as happy as they say they are or Jealousy has reared its ugly head. What are your thoughts? My thoughts are that you are talking from personal experience and about your friends. I don't know any of these people. You say that you would never interfere. Well, okay but you do seem to be taking sides and saying that sometimes one of your friends in this situation becomes "mean and nasty" to some of your other friends. How do you know that those other friends weren't gosiping or interfering and that's the reason for it? Its possible, but in this case not likely because too many friends got hurt by this girl and she rejected them all. They all got along before the new Bf came into the picture.That's why I think jealousy has a play in this. But yes it may very well be something else, just the way it seems. I have also seen similar cases happen and so have other posters on here ,so who really knows? Nobody I guess. Sorry for intruding into your conversation, but I'm curious about something you mentioned, Betty... "I have also seen similar cases happen and so have other posters on here ,so who really knows? Nobody I guess." The similar cases you and others have seen, did you mean the same scenario played out here on Mingle, between a new couple and their friends? And if so, does anyone in the groups of friends ask both the partners individually what's going on, so they can get the real reasons behind any personality changes? With such easy access via email, it seems like any questions could be quickly answered, and everyone would know what's really happening on all sides. After all, every story has two or more sides depending on the number of people involved. Just curious... |
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No....actually there is only one side to the story....
...kiss me where it smells funny....or move on. You guys make it way complexer than it needs to be. |
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No offence...look at this page...two women doing all the talking through 18 of 19 posts....
Stop doing it! If a guy cant wedge in a word on a casual conversation ...a relationship got no f'n chance. |
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I said that at the very beginning. have noticed this so many times when people get into a relationship. Some become very mellow and seem happier and nicer than ever. That I can I understand, It is when they claim to be so in love and yet they become mean and nasty to others including people that once were their friends. My only guess is either they are not as happy as they say they are or Jealousy has reared its ugly head. What are your thoughts? My thoughts are that you are talking from personal experience and about your friends. I don't know any of these people. You say that you would never interfere. Well, okay but you do seem to be taking sides and saying that sometimes one of your friends in this situation becomes "mean and nasty" to some of your other friends. How do you know that those other friends weren't gosiping or interfering and that's the reason for it? Its possible, but in this case not likely because too many friends got hurt by this girl and she rejected them all. They all got along before the new Bf came into the picture.That's why I think jealousy has a play in this. But yes it may very well be something else, just the way it seems. I have also seen similar cases happen and so have other posters on here ,so who really knows? Nobody I guess. Sorry for intruding into your conversation, but I'm curious about something you mentioned, Betty... "I have also seen similar cases happen and so have other posters on here ,so who really knows? Nobody I guess." The similar cases you and others have seen, did you mean the same scenario played out here on Mingle, between a new couple and their friends? And if so, does anyone in the groups of friends ask both the partners individually what's going on, so they can get the real reasons behind any personality changes? With such easy access via email, it seems like any questions could be quickly answered, and everyone would know what's really happening on all sides. After all, every story has two or more sides depending on the number of people involved. Just curious... no not all. If you read back I made it clear that I was not talking about any cyber friends , because in my opinion that Is a whole different scenario. People online come and go like the wind, so it really has no affect on me. No this all about real life friends. |
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No offence...look at this page...two women doing all the talking through 18 of 19 posts.... Stop doing it! If a guy cant wedge in a word on a casual conversation ...a relationship got no f'n chance. Hi Krupa The floor is all yours. Go for it. |
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Hey bettty, can I be a meanie instead? A blue meanie from yellow submarine, not the smurfs?
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Hey bettty, can I be a meanie instead? A blue meanie from yellow submarine, not the smurfs? Only if you wear a polka dot bikini . |
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Hey bettty, can I be a meanie instead? A blue meanie from yellow submarine, not the smurfs? Only if you wear a polka dot bikini . What color? |
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Hey bettty, can I be a meanie instead? A blue meanie from yellow submarine, not the smurfs? Only if you wear a polka dot bikini . What color? Whatever color you want. Maybe yellow and purple? |
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Hey bettty, can I be a meanie instead? A blue meanie from yellow submarine, not the smurfs? Only if you wear a polka dot bikini . What color? Whatever color you want. Maybe yellow and purple? |
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Let me adjust my personality again and I'll get back to you.
Lemme see...can't be an arsehole ............can't be a blue meanie (no polka dot bikinis for me!) What kind of personality can I have? |
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Let me adjust my personality again and I'll get back to you. Lemme see...can't be an arsehole ............can't be a blue meanie (no polka dot bikinis for me!) What kind of personality can I have?  I think the one you have will fit the bill.
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Let me adjust my personality again and I'll get back to you. Lemme see...can't be an arsehole ............can't be a blue meanie (no polka dot bikinis for me!) What kind of personality can I have? I think the one you have will fit the bill.
You mean change is bad? |
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Let me adjust my personality again and I'll get back to you. Lemme see...can't be an arsehole ............can't be a blue meanie (no polka dot bikinis for me!) What kind of personality can I have? I think the one you have will fit the bill.
You mean change is bad? |
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Let me adjust my personality again and I'll get back to you. Lemme see...can't be an arsehole ............can't be a blue meanie (no polka dot bikinis for me!) What kind of personality can I have? I think the one you have will fit the bill.
You mean change is bad? You're right! As a nut, I can be whatever I want to be! As we say in Texas, 'Yee-haw!' |
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Glad I am right about something lol
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