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| Topic: Personality changes | |
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I c Sometimes people just need their friends too much and let themselves be treated badly by them. You say to them that they shouldn't put up with whatever it is and they say, "But they are my friends". Maybe when someone gets into a relationship they realise that they don't need to put up with whatever it is that they don't like about their friends anymore because they have somebody special that's more than just a so-called "friend". Have you guys thought about that? well in that case they were the so called friends and not the others. Friends are not so called..they are either a friend or they are not. But in the case you are describing they were the one that was never the friend because they were just using people who did consider them friends until somebody better came along. If they really allowed these people to treat them badly until they met somebody then good chance their partner will too. Still sounds to me like thaey have the issues , not their friends. Using them for what? Friendship? What a wonderful world you must live in where "friends" are just nice people that all get on together and it's not about being part of a clique and peer pressure. Anyway, there are just some people that want to be "popular" or hang about with a crowd and maybe that is their problem because they can't just be their own person. Never had a friend put on you or talking about you behind your back or just doing any number of other things that are annoying? Me, I've never really been into conforming and just going along with the crowd. I'm a misfit if you like. I just say that I'm my own man and I don't much care for other people telling me or other people what to do in order to fit in. Approval and disapproval are just two sides of the same coin. The "nice" people are often just people that like to criticise other people that they think aren't nice. Very few people in this world aren't negative in some way. After reading the whole thread TWICE  I tend to agree with you Tawt...You speak to the question based on logic and intellect rather than emotion relating to negative experience... Betty, what you are talking about has a name, it's called social rejection...The "personality changes" you refer to can and often are the result of that person being socially rejected either by one individual or a group...It is real and it occurs all the time…The rejection can be actively displayed as in teasing, bullying, and ridiculing, it can be passively displayed as in ignoring, or it can be a combination of both…It happens everywhere, in families, in neighborhoods, in the workplace, at school, in social clubs and activities, at church, on the internet... Since social rejection is subjective it can be perceived when it's not actually happening and it can easily be denied by those doing it when they are called out on it….As I said, it can be done individually or by groups and/or cliques….On some level, being socially rejected or rejecting another is a FACT OF LIFE….All you can do is get used to it and learn how to deal with it, because it's not going away…Those who deny ever being party to it by pretending they do not understand it, or by playing "victim" are often trying to justify their own part in rejecting someone…Prolonged social rejection is serious business... It can lead to adverse psychological effects that can even cause the person being rejected to commit suicide…When done to an individual by an entire group, negative effects intensify and can include feelings of hopelessness, pronounced loneliness, low self-esteem, depression, and even aggression….Rather than try to deny social rejection exists, instead of trying to label it as jealously or insecurity, adults who feel a need to question it would be better off educating themselves as to cause, effect , and appropriate methods of dealing with the fallout when it happens to them or someone they are close to..IMHO, anyone who makes a choice to try and second guess the actions of another instead of asking them directly will probably fare better if they begin that process with an open mind... That sounds more like bullying to me . Am I wrong? Yes, with respect to the definition of social rejection, which when based on your OP and subsequent posts, is really what you are talking about and mislabeling "personality changes", you are wrong...As I stated, bullying is a component or aspect of social rejection..Other "components", or techniques if you prefer, include ridicule, teasing, and ignoring.... Ok..but personality changes are what I have seen and that is why I labeled it that.But thank you for your input. The "personality changes" you speak about throughout this thread are often a direct result of that person, or someone that person cares about, being socially rejected by the "group" of friends you keep alluding to.... You're welcome....  I guess it would be fair to say that every situation is different,as well as different reasons for such a thing happening. Sometimes it may be the friends fault,sometimes it isn't. Whatever the case It probably is never one sided. |
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Well I decided I'll just change to an arsehole once I get married, if I do. Why? Because it's a man thing??? No it isn't, and if it is you have a long way to go before you succeed in being an arsehole from what I can see anyhow. I thought it was my obligation to change so she could nag at me? And I'll wear cute donkey ears. I think people relax and don't try to put their best foot forward once they have you 'hooked.' |
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Well I decided I'll just change to an arsehole once I get married, if I do. Why? Because it's a man thing??? No it isn't, and if it is you have a long way to go before you succeed in being an arsehole from what I can see anyhow. I thought it was my obligation to change so she could nag at me? And I'll wear cute donkey ears. I think people relax and don't try to put their best foot forward once they have you 'hooked.' that does happen .You have to be certain enough of the person you are with to know you can relax and just be yourself. The Donkey ears could make things "interesting' 
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I try to just be myself all the time. Probably why I'm not married.
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I try to just be myself all the time. Probably why I'm not married. Me too. I have to be myself cause everyone else is taken lol |
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I c Sometimes people just need their friends too much and let themselves be treated badly by them. You say to them that they shouldn't put up with whatever it is and they say, "But they are my friends". Maybe when someone gets into a relationship they realise that they don't need to put up with whatever it is that they don't like about their friends anymore because they have somebody special that's more than just a so-called "friend". Have you guys thought about that? well in that case they were the so called friends and not the others. Friends are not so called..they are either a friend or they are not. But in the case you are describing they were the one that was never the friend because they were just using people who did consider them friends until somebody better came along. If they really allowed these people to treat them badly until they met somebody then good chance their partner will too. Still sounds to me like thaey have the issues , not their friends. Using them for what? Friendship? What a wonderful world you must live in where "friends" are just nice people that all get on together and it's not about being part of a clique and peer pressure. Anyway, there are just some people that want to be "popular" or hang about with a crowd and maybe that is their problem because they can't just be their own person. Never had a friend put on you or talking about you behind your back or just doing any number of other things that are annoying? Me, I've never really been into conforming and just going along with the crowd. I'm a misfit if you like. I just say that I'm my own man and I don't much care for other people telling me or other people what to do in order to fit in. Approval and disapproval are just two sides of the same coin. The "nice" people are often just people that like to criticise other people that they think aren't nice. Very few people in this world aren't negative in some way. After reading the whole thread TWICE I tend to agree with you Tawt...You speak to the question based on logic and intellect rather than emotion relating to negative experience... Betty, what you are talking about has a name, it's called social rejection...The "personality changes" you refer to can and often are the result of that person being socially rejected either by one individual or a group...It is real and it occurs all the time…The rejection can be actively displayed as in teasing, bullying, and ridiculing, it can be passively displayed as in ignoring, or it can be a combination of both…It happens everywhere, in families, in neighborhoods, in the workplace, at school, in social clubs and activities, at church, on the internet... Since social rejection is subjective it can be perceived when it's not actually happening and it can easily be denied by those doing it when they are called out on it….As I said, it can be done individually or by groups and/or cliques….On some level, being socially rejected or rejecting another is a FACT OF LIFE….All you can do is get used to it and learn how to deal with it, because it's not going away…Those who deny ever being party to it by pretending they do not understand it, or by playing "victim" are often trying to justify their own part in rejecting someone…Prolonged social rejection is serious business... It can lead to adverse psychological effects that can even cause the person being rejected to commit suicide…When done to an individual by an entire group, negative effects intensify and can include feelings of hopelessness, pronounced loneliness, low self-esteem, depression, and even aggression….Rather than try to deny social rejection exists, instead of trying to label it as jealously or insecurity, adults who feel a need to question it would be better off educating themselves as to cause, effect , and appropriate methods of dealing with the fallout when it happens to them or someone they are close to..IMHO, anyone who makes a choice to try and second guess the actions of another instead of asking them directly will probably fare better if they begin that process with an open mind... That sounds more like bullying to me . Am I wrong? Yes, with respect to the definition of social rejection, which when based on your OP and subsequent posts, is really what you are talking about and mislabeling "personality changes", you are wrong...As I stated, bullying is a component or aspect of social rejection..Other "components", or techniques if you prefer, include ridicule, teasing, and ignoring.... Ok..but personality changes are what I have seen and that is why I labeled it that.But thank you for your input. The "personality changes" you speak about throughout this thread are often a direct result of that person, or someone that person cares about, being socially rejected by the "group" of friends you keep alluding to.... You're welcome.... I guess it would be fair to say that every situation is different,as well as different reasons for such a thing happening. Sometimes it may be the friends fault,sometimes it isn't. Whatever the case It probably is never one sided. Now you are making sense!...and sometimes no one is at fault...It's just a case of miscommunication... |
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I c Sometimes people just need their friends too much and let themselves be treated badly by them. You say to them that they shouldn't put up with whatever it is and they say, "But they are my friends". Maybe when someone gets into a relationship they realise that they don't need to put up with whatever it is that they don't like about their friends anymore because they have somebody special that's more than just a so-called "friend". Have you guys thought about that? well in that case they were the so called friends and not the others. Friends are not so called..they are either a friend or they are not. But in the case you are describing they were the one that was never the friend because they were just using people who did consider them friends until somebody better came along. If they really allowed these people to treat them badly until they met somebody then good chance their partner will too. Still sounds to me like thaey have the issues , not their friends. Using them for what? Friendship? What a wonderful world you must live in where "friends" are just nice people that all get on together and it's not about being part of a clique and peer pressure. Anyway, there are just some people that want to be "popular" or hang about with a crowd and maybe that is their problem because they can't just be their own person. Never had a friend put on you or talking about you behind your back or just doing any number of other things that are annoying? Me, I've never really been into conforming and just going along with the crowd. I'm a misfit if you like. I just say that I'm my own man and I don't much care for other people telling me or other people what to do in order to fit in. Approval and disapproval are just two sides of the same coin. The "nice" people are often just people that like to criticise other people that they think aren't nice. Very few people in this world aren't negative in some way. After reading the whole thread TWICE I tend to agree with you Tawt...You speak to the question based on logic and intellect rather than emotion relating to negative experience... Betty, what you are talking about has a name, it's called social rejection...The "personality changes" you refer to can and often are the result of that person being socially rejected either by one individual or a group...It is real and it occurs all the time…The rejection can be actively displayed as in teasing, bullying, and ridiculing, it can be passively displayed as in ignoring, or it can be a combination of both…It happens everywhere, in families, in neighborhoods, in the workplace, at school, in social clubs and activities, at church, on the internet... Since social rejection is subjective it can be perceived when it's not actually happening and it can easily be denied by those doing it when they are called out on it….As I said, it can be done individually or by groups and/or cliques….On some level, being socially rejected or rejecting another is a FACT OF LIFE….All you can do is get used to it and learn how to deal with it, because it's not going away…Those who deny ever being party to it by pretending they do not understand it, or by playing "victim" are often trying to justify their own part in rejecting someone…Prolonged social rejection is serious business... It can lead to adverse psychological effects that can even cause the person being rejected to commit suicide…When done to an individual by an entire group, negative effects intensify and can include feelings of hopelessness, pronounced loneliness, low self-esteem, depression, and even aggression….Rather than try to deny social rejection exists, instead of trying to label it as jealously or insecurity, adults who feel a need to question it would be better off educating themselves as to cause, effect , and appropriate methods of dealing with the fallout when it happens to them or someone they are close to..IMHO, anyone who makes a choice to try and second guess the actions of another instead of asking them directly will probably fare better if they begin that process with an open mind... That sounds more like bullying to me . Am I wrong? Yes, with respect to the definition of social rejection, which when based on your OP and subsequent posts, is really what you are talking about and mislabeling "personality changes", you are wrong...As I stated, bullying is a component or aspect of social rejection..Other "components", or techniques if you prefer, include ridicule, teasing, and ignoring.... Ok..but personality changes are what I have seen and that is why I labeled it that.But thank you for your input. The "personality changes" you speak about throughout this thread are often a direct result of that person, or someone that person cares about, being socially rejected by the "group" of friends you keep alluding to.... You're welcome.... I guess it would be fair to say that every situation is different,as well as different reasons for such a thing happening. Sometimes it may be the friends fault,sometimes it isn't. Whatever the case It probably is never one sided. Now you are making sense!...and sometimes no one is at fault...It's just a case of miscommunication... I wasn't making sense before? Others thought I was. |
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I c Sometimes people just need their friends too much and let themselves be treated badly by them. You say to them that they shouldn't put up with whatever it is and they say, "But they are my friends". Maybe when someone gets into a relationship they realise that they don't need to put up with whatever it is that they don't like about their friends anymore because they have somebody special that's more than just a so-called "friend". Have you guys thought about that? well in that case they were the so called friends and not the others. Friends are not so called..they are either a friend or they are not. But in the case you are describing they were the one that was never the friend because they were just using people who did consider them friends until somebody better came along. If they really allowed these people to treat them badly until they met somebody then good chance their partner will too. Still sounds to me like thaey have the issues , not their friends. Using them for what? Friendship? What a wonderful world you must live in where "friends" are just nice people that all get on together and it's not about being part of a clique and peer pressure. Anyway, there are just some people that want to be "popular" or hang about with a crowd and maybe that is their problem because they can't just be their own person. Never had a friend put on you or talking about you behind your back or just doing any number of other things that are annoying? Me, I've never really been into conforming and just going along with the crowd. I'm a misfit if you like. I just say that I'm my own man and I don't much care for other people telling me or other people what to do in order to fit in. Approval and disapproval are just two sides of the same coin. The "nice" people are often just people that like to criticise other people that they think aren't nice. Very few people in this world aren't negative in some way. After reading the whole thread TWICE I tend to agree with you Tawt...You speak to the question based on logic and intellect rather than emotion relating to negative experience... Betty, what you are talking about has a name, it's called social rejection...The "personality changes" you refer to can and often are the result of that person being socially rejected either by one individual or a group...It is real and it occurs all the time…The rejection can be actively displayed as in teasing, bullying, and ridiculing, it can be passively displayed as in ignoring, or it can be a combination of both…It happens everywhere, in families, in neighborhoods, in the workplace, at school, in social clubs and activities, at church, on the internet... Since social rejection is subjective it can be perceived when it's not actually happening and it can easily be denied by those doing it when they are called out on it….As I said, it can be done individually or by groups and/or cliques….On some level, being socially rejected or rejecting another is a FACT OF LIFE….All you can do is get used to it and learn how to deal with it, because it's not going away…Those who deny ever being party to it by pretending they do not understand it, or by playing "victim" are often trying to justify their own part in rejecting someone…Prolonged social rejection is serious business... It can lead to adverse psychological effects that can even cause the person being rejected to commit suicide…When done to an individual by an entire group, negative effects intensify and can include feelings of hopelessness, pronounced loneliness, low self-esteem, depression, and even aggression….Rather than try to deny social rejection exists, instead of trying to label it as jealously or insecurity, adults who feel a need to question it would be better off educating themselves as to cause, effect , and appropriate methods of dealing with the fallout when it happens to them or someone they are close to..IMHO, anyone who makes a choice to try and second guess the actions of another instead of asking them directly will probably fare better if they begin that process with an open mind... That sounds more like bullying to me . Am I wrong? Yes, with respect to the definition of social rejection, which when based on your OP and subsequent posts, is really what you are talking about and mislabeling "personality changes", you are wrong...As I stated, bullying is a component or aspect of social rejection..Other "components", or techniques if you prefer, include ridicule, teasing, and ignoring.... Ok..but personality changes are what I have seen and that is why I labeled it that.But thank you for your input. The "personality changes" you speak about throughout this thread are often a direct result of that person, or someone that person cares about, being socially rejected by the "group" of friends you keep alluding to.... You're welcome.... I guess it would be fair to say that every situation is different,as well as different reasons for such a thing happening. Sometimes it may be the friends fault,sometimes it isn't. Whatever the case It probably is never one sided. Now you are making sense!...and sometimes no one is at fault...It's just a case of miscommunication... I wasn't making sense before? Others thought I was. Now you are making sense TO ME.... Happy now?
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I c Sometimes people just need their friends too much and let themselves be treated badly by them. You say to them that they shouldn't put up with whatever it is and they say, "But they are my friends". Maybe when someone gets into a relationship they realise that they don't need to put up with whatever it is that they don't like about their friends anymore because they have somebody special that's more than just a so-called "friend". Have you guys thought about that? well in that case they were the so called friends and not the others. Friends are not so called..they are either a friend or they are not. But in the case you are describing they were the one that was never the friend because they were just using people who did consider them friends until somebody better came along. If they really allowed these people to treat them badly until they met somebody then good chance their partner will too. Still sounds to me like thaey have the issues , not their friends. Using them for what? Friendship? What a wonderful world you must live in where "friends" are just nice people that all get on together and it's not about being part of a clique and peer pressure. Anyway, there are just some people that want to be "popular" or hang about with a crowd and maybe that is their problem because they can't just be their own person. Never had a friend put on you or talking about you behind your back or just doing any number of other things that are annoying? Me, I've never really been into conforming and just going along with the crowd. I'm a misfit if you like. I just say that I'm my own man and I don't much care for other people telling me or other people what to do in order to fit in. Approval and disapproval are just two sides of the same coin. The "nice" people are often just people that like to criticise other people that they think aren't nice. Very few people in this world aren't negative in some way. After reading the whole thread TWICE I tend to agree with you Tawt...You speak to the question based on logic and intellect rather than emotion relating to negative experience... Betty, what you are talking about has a name, it's called social rejection...The "personality changes" you refer to can and often are the result of that person being socially rejected either by one individual or a group...It is real and it occurs all the time…The rejection can be actively displayed as in teasing, bullying, and ridiculing, it can be passively displayed as in ignoring, or it can be a combination of both…It happens everywhere, in families, in neighborhoods, in the workplace, at school, in social clubs and activities, at church, on the internet... Since social rejection is subjective it can be perceived when it's not actually happening and it can easily be denied by those doing it when they are called out on it….As I said, it can be done individually or by groups and/or cliques….On some level, being socially rejected or rejecting another is a FACT OF LIFE….All you can do is get used to it and learn how to deal with it, because it's not going away…Those who deny ever being party to it by pretending they do not understand it, or by playing "victim" are often trying to justify their own part in rejecting someone…Prolonged social rejection is serious business... It can lead to adverse psychological effects that can even cause the person being rejected to commit suicide…When done to an individual by an entire group, negative effects intensify and can include feelings of hopelessness, pronounced loneliness, low self-esteem, depression, and even aggression….Rather than try to deny social rejection exists, instead of trying to label it as jealously or insecurity, adults who feel a need to question it would be better off educating themselves as to cause, effect , and appropriate methods of dealing with the fallout when it happens to them or someone they are close to..IMHO, anyone who makes a choice to try and second guess the actions of another instead of asking them directly will probably fare better if they begin that process with an open mind... That sounds more like bullying to me . Am I wrong? Yes, with respect to the definition of social rejection, which when based on your OP and subsequent posts, is really what you are talking about and mislabeling "personality changes", you are wrong...As I stated, bullying is a component or aspect of social rejection..Other "components", or techniques if you prefer, include ridicule, teasing, and ignoring.... Ok..but personality changes are what I have seen and that is why I labeled it that.But thank you for your input. The "personality changes" you speak about throughout this thread are often a direct result of that person, or someone that person cares about, being socially rejected by the "group" of friends you keep alluding to.... You're welcome.... I guess it would be fair to say that every situation is different,as well as different reasons for such a thing happening. Sometimes it may be the friends fault,sometimes it isn't. Whatever the case It probably is never one sided. Now you are making sense!...and sometimes no one is at fault...It's just a case of miscommunication... I wasn't making sense before? Others thought I was. Now you are making sense TO ME.... Happy now? oh ok...as long as I make sense to somebody lol That doesn't always happen either.
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I c Sometimes people just need their friends too much and let themselves be treated badly by them. You say to them that they shouldn't put up with whatever it is and they say, "But they are my friends". Maybe when someone gets into a relationship they realise that they don't need to put up with whatever it is that they don't like about their friends anymore because they have somebody special that's more than just a so-called "friend". Have you guys thought about that? well in that case they were the so called friends and not the others. Friends are not so called..they are either a friend or they are not. But in the case you are describing they were the one that was never the friend because they were just using people who did consider them friends until somebody better came along. If they really allowed these people to treat them badly until they met somebody then good chance their partner will too. Still sounds to me like thaey have the issues , not their friends. Using them for what? Friendship? What a wonderful world you must live in where "friends" are just nice people that all get on together and it's not about being part of a clique and peer pressure. Anyway, there are just some people that want to be "popular" or hang about with a crowd and maybe that is their problem because they can't just be their own person. Never had a friend put on you or talking about you behind your back or just doing any number of other things that are annoying? Me, I've never really been into conforming and just going along with the crowd. I'm a misfit if you like. I just say that I'm my own man and I don't much care for other people telling me or other people what to do in order to fit in. Approval and disapproval are just two sides of the same coin. The "nice" people are often just people that like to criticise other people that they think aren't nice. Very few people in this world aren't negative in some way. After reading the whole thread TWICE I tend to agree with you Tawt...You speak to the question based on logic and intellect rather than emotion relating to negative experience... Betty, what you are talking about has a name, it's called social rejection...The "personality changes" you refer to can and often are the result of that person being socially rejected either by one individual or a group...It is real and it occurs all the time…The rejection can be actively displayed as in teasing, bullying, and ridiculing, it can be passively displayed as in ignoring, or it can be a combination of both…It happens everywhere, in families, in neighborhoods, in the workplace, at school, in social clubs and activities, at church, on the internet... Since social rejection is subjective it can be perceived when it's not actually happening and it can easily be denied by those doing it when they are called out on it….As I said, it can be done individually or by groups and/or cliques….On some level, being socially rejected or rejecting another is a FACT OF LIFE….All you can do is get used to it and learn how to deal with it, because it's not going away…Those who deny ever being party to it by pretending they do not understand it, or by playing "victim" are often trying to justify their own part in rejecting someone…Prolonged social rejection is serious business... It can lead to adverse psychological effects that can even cause the person being rejected to commit suicide…When done to an individual by an entire group, negative effects intensify and can include feelings of hopelessness, pronounced loneliness, low self-esteem, depression, and even aggression….Rather than try to deny social rejection exists, instead of trying to label it as jealously or insecurity, adults who feel a need to question it would be better off educating themselves as to cause, effect , and appropriate methods of dealing with the fallout when it happens to them or someone they are close to..IMHO, anyone who makes a choice to try and second guess the actions of another instead of asking them directly will probably fare better if they begin that process with an open mind... That sounds more like bullying to me . Am I wrong? Yes, with respect to the definition of social rejection, which when based on your OP and subsequent posts, is really what you are talking about and mislabeling "personality changes", you are wrong...As I stated, bullying is a component or aspect of social rejection..Other "components", or techniques if you prefer, include ridicule, teasing, and ignoring.... Ok..but personality changes are what I have seen and that is why I labeled it that.But thank you for your input. The "personality changes" you speak about throughout this thread are often a direct result of that person, or someone that person cares about, being socially rejected by the "group" of friends you keep alluding to.... You're welcome.... I guess it would be fair to say that every situation is different,as well as different reasons for such a thing happening. Sometimes it may be the friends fault,sometimes it isn't. Whatever the case It probably is never one sided. Now you are making sense!...and sometimes no one is at fault...It's just a case of miscommunication... I wasn't making sense before? Others thought I was. Now you are making sense TO ME.... Happy now? oh ok...as long as I make sense to somebody lol That doesn't always happen either. Same here....Could be generation gap!
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I c Sometimes people just need their friends too much and let themselves be treated badly by them. You say to them that they shouldn't put up with whatever it is and they say, "But they are my friends". Maybe when someone gets into a relationship they realise that they don't need to put up with whatever it is that they don't like about their friends anymore because they have somebody special that's more than just a so-called "friend". Have you guys thought about that? well in that case they were the so called friends and not the others. Friends are not so called..they are either a friend or they are not. But in the case you are describing they were the one that was never the friend because they were just using people who did consider them friends until somebody better came along. If they really allowed these people to treat them badly until they met somebody then good chance their partner will too. Still sounds to me like thaey have the issues , not their friends. Using them for what? Friendship? What a wonderful world you must live in where "friends" are just nice people that all get on together and it's not about being part of a clique and peer pressure. Anyway, there are just some people that want to be "popular" or hang about with a crowd and maybe that is their problem because they can't just be their own person. Never had a friend put on you or talking about you behind your back or just doing any number of other things that are annoying? Me, I've never really been into conforming and just going along with the crowd. I'm a misfit if you like. I just say that I'm my own man and I don't much care for other people telling me or other people what to do in order to fit in. Approval and disapproval are just two sides of the same coin. The "nice" people are often just people that like to criticise other people that they think aren't nice. Very few people in this world aren't negative in some way. After reading the whole thread TWICE I tend to agree with you Tawt...You speak to the question based on logic and intellect rather than emotion relating to negative experience... Betty, what you are talking about has a name, it's called social rejection...The "personality changes" you refer to can and often are the result of that person being socially rejected either by one individual or a group...It is real and it occurs all the time…The rejection can be actively displayed as in teasing, bullying, and ridiculing, it can be passively displayed as in ignoring, or it can be a combination of both…It happens everywhere, in families, in neighborhoods, in the workplace, at school, in social clubs and activities, at church, on the internet... Since social rejection is subjective it can be perceived when it's not actually happening and it can easily be denied by those doing it when they are called out on it….As I said, it can be done individually or by groups and/or cliques….On some level, being socially rejected or rejecting another is a FACT OF LIFE….All you can do is get used to it and learn how to deal with it, because it's not going away…Those who deny ever being party to it by pretending they do not understand it, or by playing "victim" are often trying to justify their own part in rejecting someone…Prolonged social rejection is serious business... It can lead to adverse psychological effects that can even cause the person being rejected to commit suicide…When done to an individual by an entire group, negative effects intensify and can include feelings of hopelessness, pronounced loneliness, low self-esteem, depression, and even aggression….Rather than try to deny social rejection exists, instead of trying to label it as jealously or insecurity, adults who feel a need to question it would be better off educating themselves as to cause, effect , and appropriate methods of dealing with the fallout when it happens to them or someone they are close to..IMHO, anyone who makes a choice to try and second guess the actions of another instead of asking them directly will probably fare better if they begin that process with an open mind... That sounds more like bullying to me . Am I wrong? Yes, with respect to the definition of social rejection, which when based on your OP and subsequent posts, is really what you are talking about and mislabeling "personality changes", you are wrong...As I stated, bullying is a component or aspect of social rejection..Other "components", or techniques if you prefer, include ridicule, teasing, and ignoring.... Ok..but personality changes are what I have seen and that is why I labeled it that.But thank you for your input. The "personality changes" you speak about throughout this thread are often a direct result of that person, or someone that person cares about, being socially rejected by the "group" of friends you keep alluding to.... You're welcome.... I guess it would be fair to say that every situation is different,as well as different reasons for such a thing happening. Sometimes it may be the friends fault,sometimes it isn't. Whatever the case It probably is never one sided. Now you are making sense!...and sometimes no one is at fault...It's just a case of miscommunication... I wasn't making sense before? Others thought I was. Now you are making sense TO ME.... Happy now? oh ok...as long as I make sense to somebody lol That doesn't always happen either. Same here....Could be generation gap! well if it is generation gaps I sure have a lot of gaps 
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Ladies Ladies ... this is SUPPOSED to be about personality changes
 You know like going from  to  Leigh have not heard from you lately.... long time no type  ...
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Sometimes people just need their friends too much and let themselves be treated badly by them. You say to them that they shouldn't put up with whatever it is and they say, "But they are my friends". Maybe when someone gets into a relationship they realise that they don't need to put up with whatever it is that they don't like about their friends anymore because they have somebody special that's more than just a so-called "friend". Have you guys thought about that? well in that case they were the so called friends and not the others. Friends are not so called..they are either a friend or they are not. But in the case you are describing they were the one that was never the friend because they were just using people who did consider them friends until somebody better came along. If they really allowed these people to treat them badly until they met somebody then good chance their partner will too. Still sounds to me like thaey have the issues , not their friends. Using them for what? Friendship? What a wonderful world you must live in where "friends" are just nice people that all get on together and it's not about being part of a clique and peer pressure. Anyway, there are just some people that want to be "popular" or hang about with a crowd and maybe that is their problem because they can't just be their own person. Never had a friend put on you or talking about you behind your back or just doing any number of other things that are annoying? Me, I've never really been into conforming and just going along with the crowd. I'm a misfit if you like. I just say that I'm my own man and I don't much care for other people telling me or other people what to do in order to fit in. Approval and disapproval are just two sides of the same coin. The "nice" people are often just people that like to criticise other people that they think aren't nice. Very few people in this world aren't negative in some way. well I do not live in a perfect world .I am far from perfect and neither are my friends. I just do not understand why some people can change drastically after becoming involved with someone. I still believe that somehow the person they are involved with is somehow controlling them. So you want to control them instead or what? This sort of thing happens all the time. Someone gets into a relationship and friends or family don't approve and start poking their noses in and interfering. Then the person is stuck in the middle not knowing who they are supposed to be loyal to. In some cases the new partner may be controlling in some way and they might not like the friends but bad mouthing them and calling them controlling is interfering and poking your nose into someone else's relationship. you are totally missing what I have been saying. Nobody is showing disapproval. Nobody is poking their noses into anything. Everything was fine until a new person came into the mix and decided they did not want their new found partner to be friends with them, Also I would very much appreciate it if you would quit attacking me personally by saying things like I must live in a perfect world and that I want to control them. I merely said I Have noticed this happen many times. I'm not missing the point at all. You asked why you think it is that people behave this way and I am giving you my opinion. Oh I know full well what you were doing. |
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Sometimes people just need their friends too much and let themselves be treated badly by them. You say to them that they shouldn't put up with whatever it is and they say, "But they are my friends". Maybe when someone gets into a relationship they realise that they don't need to put up with whatever it is that they don't like about their friends anymore because they have somebody special that's more than just a so-called "friend". Have you guys thought about that? well in that case they were the so called friends and not the others. Friends are not so called..they are either a friend or they are not. But in the case you are describing they were the one that was never the friend because they were just using people who did consider them friends until somebody better came along. If they really allowed these people to treat them badly until they met somebody then good chance their partner will too. Still sounds to me like thaey have the issues , not their friends. Using them for what? Friendship? What a wonderful world you must live in where "friends" are just nice people that all get on together and it's not about being part of a clique and peer pressure. Anyway, there are just some people that want to be "popular" or hang about with a crowd and maybe that is their problem because they can't just be their own person. Never had a friend put on you or talking about you behind your back or just doing any number of other things that are annoying? Me, I've never really been into conforming and just going along with the crowd. I'm a misfit if you like. I just say that I'm my own man and I don't much care for other people telling me or other people what to do in order to fit in. Approval and disapproval are just two sides of the same coin. The "nice" people are often just people that like to criticise other people that they think aren't nice. Very few people in this world aren't negative in some way. well I do not live in a perfect world .I am far from perfect and neither are my friends. I just do not understand why some people can change drastically after becoming involved with someone. I still believe that somehow the person they are involved with is somehow controlling them. So you want to control them instead or what? This sort of thing happens all the time. Someone gets into a relationship and friends or family don't approve and start poking their noses in and interfering. Then the person is stuck in the middle not knowing who they are supposed to be loyal to. In some cases the new partner may be controlling in some way and they might not like the friends but bad mouthing them and calling them controlling is interfering and poking your nose into someone else's relationship. you are totally missing what I have been saying. Nobody is showing disapproval. Nobody is poking their noses into anything. Everything was fine until a new person came into the mix and decided they did not want their new found partner to be friends with them, Also I would very much appreciate it if you would quit attacking me personally by saying things like I must live in a perfect world and that I want to control them. I merely said I Have noticed this happen many times. I'm not missing the point at all. You asked why you think it is that people behave this way and I am giving you my opinion. Oh I know full well what you were doing. Well then, top marks to you for reading comprehension. |
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Spoken like a true smart a$$
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I rest my case.
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Stop with the personal posts. From here on out, warnings will be sent. Discuss the topic/post but not the poster!
Kim |
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Thank you all for your replies.
Seems like the majority of people feel that jealousy, controlling issues or insecurity are the big reasons for this happening, and it is something that a lot of people have had happen to them. Whatever it is I am guessing their reasons are more important to them than their friendship ever was .Sad as that may be I do believe that is the truth. |
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Lol weird how that happens, but then when that relationship ends, who wants to be best friends again?! right..I have a friend like that and right now we are in the "never hear from him anymore" stage...what do I(we) do..take them back? even though it will never be the way it was..or do we ignore them like they did us? it is not appropriate to expect a married friend or a friend in a committed LTR to "hang with the boys" like in the old days. I have 2 suggestions: realize that your friend is moving on with his life and do the same. Also respect that, for now anyway, his relationship does come first. It does not mean that will not have time to socialize, but no it will not be the same. It's called maturity. :) I kind of take the flip side to some on here because I have had relationships destroyed by interfering friends. Usually not happy with their own lives they interfered until it made life hell. misery loves company...jmho |
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yes that can happen too.
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