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| Topic: Are you for... or are you against? | |
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The what to do, how, when and why, can be changed in some way or another, but beliefs are what it is deeply immigrated on us and personally I think those are the most difficult things to change (but not impossible, if we want it we can change them). There will be things or situations that do not actually click with us or our way of thinking but as long as we respect each other it´s the key to having great relationships, friendships or acquaintances. It´s a true thing that we have to set limits with different things or people (even in work, or with our families) just to be true to ourselves, that it´s to be living in authenticity. There could be times we can readjust our limits because we really and truly know and feel deep in our gut that that´s the right thing to do. It´s part of evolution or our self development. Love it´s a risk. If you change or transform some belief of yours cause you feel like it´s worth it, then you just do it. Not because of the person but because you want it. thank you, kittykat... respecting each other is the key... and being true to ourselves... I really like how you elaborate on each point, especially about how we'll readjust our limits if we feel deeply in our gut it's the right thing to do... thank you for sharing your thoughts... 
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You should always be open to change and diverse ideas. Obama is too liberal for me and the tea party is too conservative...but both have some ideas worth hearing. Same thing on the boards, I have a friend who despises guns while I don't but I still count them as a friend despite this big deep divide. If their side wins and guns get banned, oh well, that's the change I was talking about. Do you think it's easier to change the way we think, as apposed to changing the way we act, or things that we do? Changing one's way they think as opposed to changing a mode of behavior can't be compared. How someone thinks is at the core of their being as perhaps what their beliefs are. Yet look that the thousands of Arabs and Jews that have intermarried out of love; a form of love that transformed them from mere passersby in a great challenge of all their respective thinking as well as many of their forms of behavior. With the right demeanor, motivation and a very special type of Love it does indeed seem perfectly natural to bend a bit and to change and adjust, We adapt to what is best for us and for those we love as they do for us. It makes Life more livable in harmony for all concerned...imho very nicely stated... thank you... 
With the right demeanor, motivation and a very special type of Love it does indeed seem perfectly natural to bend a bit and to change and adjust, We adapt to what is best for us and for those we love as they do for us. 
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I think changing action has to start with changing perception in order to last when we try to change action and never change our thought process, we will revert to what has become habit or 'normal' for us,,, the more we say to ourself this is who or what we 'are' , the more it will become real and unchangable, because its a way to devote ourself to not changing our thoughts or feelings,,, that makes perfect sense... there's no way to change action w/o the frame of mind to lead it...
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I have heard of some people changing religions to get married to who they love, is it possible to change other important aspects of ourselves in order to be more suited to the ones we want to connect with? I would never give up God for some woman. And as for this topic, if a person doesn't love you for who you are, then you should keep looking. Never change who you are just to suit some other person. |
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I have heard of some people changing religions to get married to who they love, is it possible to change other important aspects of ourselves in order to be more suited to the ones we want to connect with? I would never give up God for some woman. And as for this topic, if a person doesn't love you for who you are, then you should keep looking. Never change who you are just to suit some other person. I don't believe it's possible to really change who we are at our core. The strongest, deepest part of us, the survivor.. We can adapt our thoughts and our actions if we meet someone we want to please more than ourselves. But, ultimately, we are who we are... |
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I have heard of some people changing religions to get married to who they love, is it possible to change other important aspects of ourselves in order to be more suited to the ones we want to connect with? I would never give up God for some woman. And as for this topic, if a person doesn't love you for who you are, then you should keep looking. Never change who you are just to suit some other person. I don't believe it's possible to really change who we are at our core. The strongest, deepest part of us, the survivor.. We can adapt our thoughts and our actions if we meet someone we want to please more than ourselves. But, ultimately, we are who we are... Well, some people are more set in their ways than others and religion in particular is something that people tend to be very dogmatic about. Some people find it very hard to change or don't want to due to their upbringing or personal history. Anyone can change though and it is a matter of whether or not they want to. There are certain things about myself that I am unable to change but I can certainly change my opinions and atitudes if I have an open mind. Well, you would have a very hard time convincing me of certain things but that is because being open minded is not the same thing as being gullible or just going along with recieved opinion or society. |
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There are long-term regulars on the forums that we get to know through our daily conversations. Sometimes controversial subjects come up, and tensions mount while diverse ideas are bantered about. It’s during these intense discussions that we can learn even more about each other as we let our critical thinking sides show. If you are attracted to another member and have been interacting to get to know them better before reaching out to make a personal connection, can what you learn about their views, and how they handle themselves on the boards, turn you off from getting any closer? Or do you remain determined to make your move because even if their particular views may be outside the box, they turn you on no matter what? First impressions are important, even on a site like this. So, yes, the way someone acts in the forum can turn me off from wanting to get to know them better. However, I try to keep an open mind and the only way I can really get to know someone better is to talk to them outside of the forums. |
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I have heard of some people changing religions to get married to who they love, is it possible to change other important aspects of ourselves in order to be more suited to the ones we want to connect with? I would never give up God for some woman. And as for this topic, if a person doesn't love you for who you are, then you should keep looking. Never change who you are just to suit some other person. I don't believe it's possible to really change who we are at our core. The strongest, deepest part of us, the survivor.. We can adapt our thoughts and our actions if we meet someone we want to please more than ourselves. But, ultimately, we are who we are... Well, some people are more set in their ways than others and religion in particular is something that people tend to be very dogmatic about. Some people find it very hard to change or don't want to due to their upbringing or personal history. Anyone can change though and it is a matter of whether or not they want to. There are certain things about myself that I am unable to change but I can certainly change my opinions and atitudes if I have an open mind. Well, you would have a very hard time convincing me of certain things but that is because being open minded is not the same thing as being gullible or just going along with recieved opinion or society. I like how you said that, tawt.. that being open minded isn't being gullible... and we can change if we really want too... which I've found out about myself throughout my lifetime, is that I am willing to change to suit my partner's needs, and to insure his happiness with me... |
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I have heard of some people changing religions to get married to who they love, is it possible to change other important aspects of ourselves in order to be more suited to the ones we want to connect with? I would never give up God for some woman. And as for this topic, if a person doesn't love you for who you are, then you should keep looking. Never change who you are just to suit some other person. it all depends upon what is the desire of the person and how important that 'thing' is in their life I agree that someone who is compatible will ove you for who you are, yet I also think those who love us can see the potential for what we can become and can motivate us toward that end ,,,,, |
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I have heard of some people changing religions to get married to who they love, is it possible to change other important aspects of ourselves in order to be more suited to the ones we want to connect with? I would never give up God for some woman. And as for this topic, if a person doesn't love you for who you are, then you should keep looking. Never change who you are just to suit some other person. it all depends upon what is the desire of the person and how important that 'thing' is in their life I agree that someone who is compatible will ove you for who you are, yet I also think those who love us can see the potential for what we can become and can motivate us toward that end ,,,,, excellent addition, msharmony... the one who loves us seeing our potential and encouraging our growth together... yes, that thought sits really nice in my head... thank you for sharing it...
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There are long-term regulars on the forums that we get to know through our daily conversations. Sometimes controversial subjects come up, and tensions mount while diverse ideas are bantered about. It’s during these intense discussions that we can learn even more about each other as we let our critical thinking sides show. If you are attracted to another member and have been interacting to get to know them better before reaching out to make a personal connection, can what you learn about their views, and how they handle themselves on the boards, turn you off from getting any closer? Or do you remain determined to make your move because even if their particular views may be outside the box, they turn you on no matter what? First impressions are important, even on a site like this. So, yes, the way someone acts in the forum can turn me off from wanting to get to know them better. However, I try to keep an open mind and the only way I can really get to know someone better is to talk to them outside of the forums. very true... and hopefully they will be open mouthed as well as open minded... because sometimes I've found that they don't talk much off boards, and it can be like pulling teeth to get to know them... so I guess that's what we find out then, is that they aren't good communicators... yikes.. bad sign.. next... 
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There are long-term regulars on the forums that we get to know through our daily conversations. Sometimes controversial subjects come up, and tensions mount while diverse ideas are bantered about. It’s during these intense discussions that we can learn even more about each other as we let our critical thinking sides show. If you are attracted to another member and have been interacting to get to know them better before reaching out to make a personal connection, can what you learn about their views, and how they handle themselves on the boards, turn you off from getting any closer? Or do you remain determined to make your move because even if their particular views may be outside the box, they turn you on no matter what? I feel that in the course of simply living, you WILL come across several folks that have different views & opinions on many things. I also feel that this is the variety of life; I mean could you imagine being surrounded with folks that share every single thought & idea that you have? really? For me, I expect differences to come about, and vetting them here does indeed provide and opportunity to peer inside the brain housing groups of others - to include someone you've got your eye on. What matters is how you "argue" or "debate" your opinions, and how much a pleasant person you are when that other person doesn't share your views - that is the key! |
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There are long-term regulars on the forums that we get to know through our daily conversations. Sometimes controversial subjects come up, and tensions mount while diverse ideas are bantered about. It’s during these intense discussions that we can learn even more about each other as we let our critical thinking sides show. If you are attracted to another member and have been interacting to get to know them better before reaching out to make a personal connection, can what you learn about their views, and how they handle themselves on the boards, turn you off from getting any closer? Or do you remain determined to make your move because even if their particular views may be outside the box, they turn you on no matter what? I feel that in the course of simply living, you WILL come across several folks that have different views & opinions on many things. I also feel that this is the variety of life; I mean could you imagine being surrounded with folks that share every single thought & idea that you have? really? For me, I expect differences to come about, and vetting them here does indeed provide and opportunity to peer inside the brain housing groups of others - to include someone you've got your eye on. What matters is how you "argue" or "debate" your opinions, and how much a pleasant person you are when that other person doesn't share your views - that is the key! exactly.. nicely stated... and back and forth diversity is great, so long as it doesn't turn into a personal attack, even if it is subtle... |
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Most datesites have hundreds of members. Only a small part actually, are regular posters on forums. People who limit themself to meeting just off a forum really limit themself. Imo
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Well, we all have profiles, so we can be contacted by people outside the forums and contact non-forumites ourselves. But it seems that most interactions do take place in the forums, at least on this site...
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Well, we all have profiles, so we can be contacted by people outside the forums and contact non-forumites ourselves. But it seems that most interactions do take place in the forums, at least on this site... On this site, it definitely works best if you're involved in the forums. Anyone I've actually met in person have been someone I meet through the forums. That being said, there are long term posters that I've never chatted with outside the forums. I don't feel like I could say I really know them, other than what they say in the forums. |
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Wed 03/20/13 12:13 PM
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I have talked with three men here from different states and none of them are on these forums. So, I guess whatever works for a person. Forums are for friendships yes and longterm especially on a Free site .
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I have talked with three men here from different states and none of them are on these forums. So, I guess whatever works for a person. Forums are for friendships yes and longterm especially on a Free site .
I'm not saying people shouldn't meet those who don't use the forums. It just hasn't worked for me in that way on this site, as there aren't many active profiles in this area. If it works for you, awesome. |
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I have talked with three men here from different states and none of them are on these forums. So, I guess whatever works for a person. Forums are for friendships yes and longterm especially on a Free site .
I'm not saying people shouldn't meet those who don't use the forums. It just hasn't worked for me in that way on this site, as there aren't many active profiles in this area. If it works for you, awesome. There aren't all that many women that live in my area either but in the whole time I've been posting here I've only noticed one woman that even lives in my country posting and she's spoken for already apparently. I've had one woman that was within dating distance telling me that she's read my posts but apart from that they really don't seem to bother with this and if I'm going to get any dates I just have to mail them and they aren't going to know anything about me apart from what's on my profile. |
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Most datesites have hundreds of members. Only a small part actually, are regular posters on forums. People who limit themself to meeting just off a forum really limit themself. Imo I definitely agree with this, toody... once we get to know all the regulars and we become friends, if we even attain a friendship level relationship, we know it isn't going to go any further than that... and there's no where else to look but in our own neighborhoods, communities, churches, places of employment, etc. I like to post on the forums just to meet new people, and if I'm lucky make a friend or two... because the experiences I've had since I came online 6 months ago, really opened my eyes to the realities of dating sites... |
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