If I saw someone I was attracted to in any significant way I think I would read some of their posts to get a little better idea what they are about but not necessarily take it as chapter and verse as to who they are.

Sometimes what is posted in forums is a lot more revealing about a person's general character, modes operandis, and background than is ever put in the profile and person who wants to know someone would be foolish to totally ignore their forum posts.

All that said I really do not appreciate someone who takes what I have said out of contect of what may be an ongoing interaction and or out of some point in time in my life that I may have moved on from as gosphel of who I am or how I am now or in the future.

Especially if some of the interactions with that person were not public knowledge.

I have been on Mingle nearly a decade and I dare say while I may be the same core person I definitely have changed some of my views and learned things from experience that I had no clue about when I started with Just Say Hi and it crossed over to Mingle.

Anyone who thinks they have a good understanding of how I think, feel, and practice my life from what I said in forums is like trying to see a person in omly two demensions.

I think that the paranoia about scammers and players is a big problem with this. For sure they are out there but really, just because a lot of men use similar chat up lines how do you conclude from that that there's something sinister going on there?

Now, perhaps I'm a bit vain but with the amount of women that have ignored my messages and from all of the complaints that I've heard from the ladies about the "creeps" I don't think that it's just me being dull or unatractive. Well, I dare say that if I said on my profile that I had a really glamorous lifestyle or a load of money more of them would b interested but it is the internet and you do become jaded after a while.

I think that the distance thing is just going to be a problem with this site. I've been on a British dating site and gone on the forums there and because Britain is just a little island compared to America, meetings and relationships are far more practical. Here the people live so far away from each other that it just seems hopeless or so unlikely that anything apart from friendship is going to come from it. Yeah, I've chatted with some interesting women that have caught my attention with their forum posts and made one or two really good friends but it just seems far more likely to me that they are just going to meet someone that lives near them however much "chemistry" I have with them.

I think that the distance thing is just going to be a problem with this site. I've been on a British dating site and gone on the forums there and because Britain is just a little island compared to America, meetings and relationships are far more practical. Here the people live so far away from each other that it just seems hopeless or so unlikely that anything apart from friendship is going to come from it. Yeah, I've chatted with some interesting women that have caught my attention with their forum posts and made one or two really good friends but it just seems far more likely to me that they are just going to meet someone that lives near them however much "chemistry" I have with them.

I agree.

Now for my reasoning in posting this.

When I first joined many moons ago I use to see people who I thought were maybe drifting off topic or joking when I didn't think they should (according to my world) or making points about things that I thought were offencive. I made my rules in my mind of how this thing worked and how I would get to know others. I thought I knew how to get to know people, but as time went on I started to see the madness in looking at this through my eyes. When I did see mingle through my eyes I would get arrrggg-ed (still do till I catch myself) at some of the not so much topics, but the way people came in and out of them. It took me a long time till I started seeing mingle as a big living room and while someone is having a say so with someone else others come and go throughout the room on their way to doing something different from what I am, but did want to take the time to drop by. In my living room when this happens some times the topic actually does change for a moment or may head in another direction till all of a sudden someone says "what is it we were talking about" and it gets right back on track. Also in my own living room it's nice if someone is getting a little intense to have someone crack a joke. Doesn't have to be a funny one (in my case rarely are), but just enough to shift gears up a little.

Off topic to me means a deliberate derailing and not so much someone stopping in to say hi or even add a twist. For example, look at what I just posted and see how it is really a part of the topic itself. Reactions on here and how people make them happen and react to them is very much on topic. By seeing different sides to the same person allows us to see deeper into who they really are and if we really are compatible with them. Doesn't have to be an answer on how we look at something, in fact I sometimes learn more about them by their mannerisms. For example again, I like a serious person but even more when that person can crack out with this sideways joke to lighten the mood. To me that says tons.

We are on the internet, but even on here it is easy to see someones personality when you are here a while and if that person writes from different angles or is more of a straight line. And I would say that we all change on mingle after a few months or years as to the way we let our hair down. These are the things I am attracted to at least as I interact, or should I say mingle. I find myself looking at when they joined and gauge that along with their comments.

just some thoughts while on the topic

I'm having one of those amorous mornings when you really wish you weren't alone :)

Well, good then, your day is starting out right... at least 1/2 way...

That was so wonderfully reserved I bout fell out of my chair, lol.

There are long-term regulars on the forums that we get to know through our daily conversations. Sometimes controversial subjects come up, and tensions mount while diverse ideas are bantered about. It’s during these intense discussions that we can learn even more about each other as we let our critical thinking sides show.

If you are attracted to another member and have been interacting to get to know them better before reaching out to make a personal connection, can what you learn about their views, and how they handle themselves on the boards, turn you off from getting any closer? Or do you remain determined to make your move because even if their particular views may be outside the box, they turn you on no matter what?

your question is how this would influence us, but in the asking you have raised another issue and that is tensions during discussions. On the latter the answer is easy: I agree wit hthe poster who called for free speech in an atmosphere of mutual respect.

To answer your question, I definitely think what we learn about each other can affect my willingness to be personally involved. I "play" a lot on here, as an example, and it would be hard for me to be intimately involved with someone so serious all the time that they never "play." And, referring back to the "rules of discussion" I pay attention to those who "bait" to try to start arguments, those who call names, and such and would not be personally involved with such.

I also listen to avoid those on here who espouse anything demeaning toward women or a consistent negative attitude toward females. So yes attitudes behaviours and beliefs in here do influence whether I'd become personally involved.

The reality of an unreal world.

Yes, you do get to know different aspects of people by reading different posts about various topics. BUT, the subtle nuances of human intellect allow for mood, satire, ... even hunger, to influence short comments in such a way as to make the mix fluid. I have counted 12 different satire personalities I have shown on this site at different times for different reasons and only those who know me well are even aware that I am doing it. Most of what I write is satire, unless it is about science and then I go into lecture mode. In e-mail, I am just me and in some mingle topics I just comment without making a point. But on various topics I post to make a point ... not necessarily my point, but a point that I think needs to be made.

In this case, Mingle2 is a literary window into one's soul. It is also a view into their fiction, non-fiction, and personal comic book.

Even though you were addressing someone else Sweet, I'd like to say I agree with you and add this...I also take note of the number of posts someone (anyone) has made and compare it to their start date... It gives me a "hint" about a couple of things that are important to me when choosing like minded friends... lIt tells me how much time they spend on the net and if they're talkers, listeners, or both...I've said this before, for me interacting on forums is the absolute best way to get to know other members and I am not sure I would even consider meeting a man I had not interacted with or at least "read" on the boards...

The reality of an unreal world.

Yes, you do get to know different aspects of people by reading different posts about various topics. BUT, the subtle nuances of human intellect allow for mood, satire, ... even hunger, to influence short comments in such a way as to make the mix fluid. I have counted 12 different satire personalities I have shown on this site at different times for different reasons and only those who know me well are even aware that I am doing it. Most of what I write is satire, unless it is about science and then I go into lecture mode. In e-mail, I am just me and in some mingle topics I just comment without making a point. But on various topics I post to make a point ... not necessarily my point, but a point that I think needs to be made.

In this case, Mingle2 is a literary window into one's soul. It is also a view into their fiction, non-fiction, and personal comic book.

Always nice to start the morning on an up note...

That was so wonderfully reserved I bout fell out of my chair, lol.

Always nice to start the morning on an up note...

I decided I am against being for.