AthenaRose...Thanks for all you wrote earlier...A lot of problems in relationships may involve "button-pushing." Don't you think?...It's what kids do when they are after "attention" and want to provoke their parents into "reacting."...The kids are going to receive "negative attention" and get "yelled at" but they get a "thrill" and gain a sense of power from pushing their parent's "buttons." And provoking a "heated reaction." Don't you think?...It's sad when this kind of stuff plays-out in marriages and adult relationships.

I don't fight very good. I am too much of a peacemaker. And that doesn't always work in a relationship. I remember once from experience trying to make peace and she wasn't ready for peace, yet. According to her my trying to unruffled her feather wasn't helping at all. It was like a contradiction of sorts. She picked the fight to try to get me to communicate and she wasn't about to let me get away easy. I backed away and the silent treatment went on for a long time. But thank God we started fighting again. I would rather fight then try to survive the silent treatment again. It gives me the willies just thinking about it.

Up until this moment I hadn't given this spin any notice in my head... which isn't typical of me, because I usually analyze everything to death, so that I haven't missed any possibilities I can use to excuse and forgive... but.. the way you tease my mind with this concept this morning, has turned the switch on for me, and now I can see things that happened recently, falling into this category... button pushing to get my negative attention, but, unfortunately it was done to such a degree that I am no longer interested in pursuing the connection... especially since I've dealt with the same issues time and again, and made my position so crystal clear there was no way it could have been ignored, unless it was done so intentionally... and if this is the case, then I wash my hands of the matter completely... yes, Green Eyes, it is very sad when childish games are practiced by adults who must think that everybody enjoys playing them. I for one, do not...

Good morning, trout, can you feel Spring in the air yet? I'll be glad when it warms up enough that I can start back to my early morning hikes... sitting here most of this winter just having fun posting on the forums has caused my hips to start matching the contour of my office chair… lol… anyway, what were we talking about? Oh yeah... fights... I'm not a good fighter either...

But what you describe on the part of your woman sounds truly manipulative… when she’d pick a fight just to get you to communicate… you must be a really quiet type in person if she had to go to extremes like that just to keep you focused on her… To me, if my partner is the one who caused the rift, and doesn’t think he did anything wrong, so he refuses to admit it and apologize, there’s really no going back once the silent treatment begins. I don’t have a problem admitting human weakness and asking for forgiveness when I inadvertently hurt someone, and I expect whoever I’m with to have the same level of respect for me. So, if he allows the chasm to get so deep it’s no longer crossable, then I know that’s his final decision and we just quietly move on. After all, there’s far too many fish swimming around us for anybody to be alone any longer than we want to be, right?

I'm tired of fighting. Can we quit now?

I have a lot of red flags but sometimes white flags are pretty, too.

hippie, who are you fighting with this time? are you still in your ornery mood? There aren't any more fights going on that I've heard about lately? So, if you know something, you better spill..

Very good come back, trout... bravo...

Haven't fought in 30 or so years. Still tired of fighting though.

Wow, 30 big ones... now that's an awesome record...

I like fishing. Some fish will give you a really good fight.

Not really. Being by yourself except for kids, anyone can do it.


Fish don't fight, they swim up to me and let me pick 'em up!

love it trout... and I bet you're one of them experienced fish that waits in the shallows for just the right temptation...

I see, so you hand feed them too...

As a matter of fact, I do!!! How'd you know?

I've had my own pond of hand fed eaters... and it's really cool to watch the whole school gather when they know it's time to eat... all their concentrating on is beating the one next to them out first, and I can reach out and scoop up whatever I want... of course I prefer river fishing for sport, and salt water for floundering.

<--------------------passive aggressive!!!!!




watch out!

I am too... so don't take your eyes off me either... you have been warned...

Quite so. A survivor knows to be patient for all good things come to those that wait. What might look like a tasty tidbit might also have a hook with it.