I break things and people.

Leave the room.

You have been warned.

I guess when I say everyone gets angry once in a while, I'm talking about something different than some of the ladies here. I'm not talking about someone who loses it and goes crazy or anything like that. But, most people do get angry at least once in a while. Then again, there are those who bottle it up and never get angry. They worry me more, as they're probably going to lose it at some point.

maybe we should meet in the shower then

just say when and where

wow, brutal, honest, I like it...

you'd be surprised how long a person can live without true anger if their life depends on it...

I don't want to "take offense" over every little thing and get myself all worked-up over nothing...This leads to a lot of stress and misery...Everyone isn't going to do "what I want" or think or feel or believe the way that I do...Self-righteous and rigid people have a tendency to take a lot of things "personally." Don't you think?...They want to "rule all" and "convert" others around to their way of thinking and doing things etc. ("My way or the highway" kind of people who get upset when they run into "differences.")...The path to "peace" and less stress (and less anger) involves accepting that we will always run into people who have different views (and ways) than we do...And being "okay" with it. And even more...Keeping our eyes and ears and minds "open" so we can learn from others and "expand" our "horizons." Don't you think?

I am different when provoked but i am also provocative. It depends on the fight. Mostly i do it in silence until he/she notices. Sometimes sarcasm.

I don't fight anymore. Express my opinions/thoughts & realize that is all I can do. People will be what they are & do what they will do. I have no control.

Good morning Green Eyes, my x-m-i-l fell and injured herself last night, requiring an ER visit, so I don’t have to go into work until later, which gives me more leisure time on the boards. And I find your line of questioning intriguing… So, I thought I’d put my thinking cap on and give my brain a work out this morning…

First… I’m trying to picture the scenario in which anyone would take offense and get themselves all worked-up over every little thing that really amounts to nothing, yet it causes stress and misery for them… this sounds to me like someone who is more neurotic than self-righteous…

Second… I agree that not everyone will do what we want, or think, feel, or believe the way that we do either… But, that’s a mighty tall order to expect that everyone will be swayed by our irresistible influence… especially when it’s challenging enough just to get family members to see the light, and abide by the rules of the road…

Third… I don’t know about anybody else, but I love the “my way or the highway” rule, because it works both ways.You see, I believe that a willingness to compromise via open minds is the basic foundation that every relationship needs to survive, and this is established up front. So, if a rigid attitude develops, and it creates insurmountable barriers, then I will be the first one out the door and moving on. It is my life when all is said and done, and I will live it "my way", from now on.

Lastly… I thrive on diversity… so meeting and mixing with new ideas and attitudes is what stimulates my creative process… not seeing cloned versions of myself all round me…

Anyway, I have to get ready for work now, so I’ll sign this one off until later this evening, if I’m not too tired to check in before bed… have a great day…

You're still talking about something much different than I am. Where did I mention taking offense to every little thing, being self righteous, rigid or expecting everyone to do what I want?

Why do people usually get angry? Maybe due to frustration when things don't seem to be going "our way."...Or we might get upset if someone seems to be putting us "down" or doesn't take the time to understand our thoughts and feelings and views...It's easier for some people to get angry (defensive) than to admit to feeling hurt. Don't you think?...I'm just trying to look at reasons why people may get angry...I had a friend who used to get angry with me for not "getting mad" more often...It seemed like she was trying to "push my buttons" to provoke "heated reactions" from me. (So she could relate to me better or identify with me or ?).. She was a chronic complainer and had a whole flock of "scapegoats." She wanted me to go after all her "targets" and be just like her...In the end we parted ways because we were on very different "pages."...Anyway I'm just trying to look at reasons why people might get angry. (In general.)

AthenaRose...Thanks for responding. Sorry about your former MIL...Nice that you still care about her...I "get" what you are saying. Relationships can be full of differences that need to be "ironed-out" and resolved. (Hopefully anyway.)...But it's rough to live with people who have a tendency to turn tiny "molehills" into "huge mountains." Don't you think? There's just no telling what might upset them and when they might "erupt" again...I don't want to be "ruled" or controlled by someone else's unstable emotions. So I tend to seek-out people who are less "reactive." How do you feel about it?

Why do people get angry? Well, I would imagine there are different reasons for different people.

Frustration and being hurt are just a couple reasons someone may get angry.

I don't want to argue, fight, or whatever the hell...Apparently being drama free is not nearly as inviting of a prospect for women.

But seriously, you'll be hard up to ever hear me raise my voice.

To be honest, I really don’t know, Green Eyes… what one person sees as minor, the next could see as major… it just depends on each person’s experience in life, and how well developed their coping skills are. It could also be that the issues are minor, but are non-stop irritants, until patience has been lost, then what started out as minor becomes major, and at the more intense level the previously subdued feelings give way to outward expression, or eruption…

Somehow our conversations always detour back to the being ruled/controlled topic… And that we don’t want it to happen to us. But, the plain fact is, we are controlled, or do the controlling ourselves, one way or another in everything single relationship we have, whether, it’s parent/child, husband/wife, president/citizen, etc… we all have areas in our lives that we allow others to exert some form of control over us, with the healthier relationships being more balanced in the give/take situations.

As far as over emotional people having more control over others than stable personalities do, again, I don’t really know. But, why people get angry isn’t as interesting to me as how they handle their anger once it’s been provoked.

I’m a very tolerant person, and it takes quite a bit to get me angry enough to react… and it’s usually only after I have already addressed an issue several times, and my position is still being disrespected… then I’ve had enough and it’s time to take a different approach to resolve the differences… if the person still insists on doing things their way, even after they have pushed their luck to the limit with me, then it’s time to dissolve whatever connection we have, because I’m not going to live my life under any unnecessary stress..

You see, I’m not going to be the one who “always” has to compromise, while the other person involved never does… I don’t ask for much from anybody, but what I do, I expect to be respected… and if I’m not, then I don’t need to have someone in my life that doesn’t think or feel they should show me any level of respect. That’s a one-sided relationship, and not something I enjoy being part of… and I won't be...

I'm a woman, but I'm also walking beside you on this issue, Fear... I am not into drama of any kind, but if it comes my way, I deal with it and then move on. When I was younger I avoided drama simply because it's not in my nature to exhibit such a personality. As I've gotten older and my health has declined, my having blood pressure issues that require regulation... I can't abide drama now because I'm at risk for heart attack or stroke every time my body goes through a hypertensive episode... so... situations I could emotionally cope with before, I can no longer physically cope with, so I avoid whatever is causing the irritant... plain and simple..

I was taught to talk things out...Apparently most of the women I've dated were not. I just feel more can be accomplished on a whole if the two parties sit down, relax, and discuss the issues maturely rather than huffing and puffing back and forth.

Communication and all that jazz, again, probably something aiding in me being single.

When I was a kid my mother had her favorite chair that we weren't allowed to sit in. This is where she sat to discuss her ideas with me, while I sat on the couch across from her, sometimes for hours. During these discussions, that mostly centered around what she thought I was doing incorrectly, some of the things she said made me so angry I wanted to verbally strike back. Only I understood the control my mother had over my actions, so I'd sit there silently, while she read the look on my face. She would then comment on the look, while I still remained silent. At the end of her lecture session I was required to go to my room and write a letter to her about her chosen topis and my feelings about it. Then she would red line my work, causing me to get even angrier. Bottom line for me is... this is how my mother taught me to cope with disagreement and aggression. I clam up, remain silent, then write it out... Any physical follow through is not interpreted in my brain with any kind of reaction other then to get away from it... avoid... we weren't allowed to be physically violent, and I don't understand the lack of self control that allows others to practice this form of communication...