Presently I do not have to handle conflicts, and emotional aggression with a partner. If I have to fight with a man in any way while I am getting to know him as a "friend" only, then he is definately out of the picture for any future partner. I love peace and have much of it now, and I don't see that changing.

I fight with silence. It seems to get a person's attention before anything else will.

I think the silent treatment can be kind of childish. I'd much rather talk out the problem than ignore it and hope it goes away.

same here, exactly. You took the words right out of my mouth. If I get even the slightest hostility or argumentative tone from a man it is over. I live a very peaceful life now and I've been thru enough with controlling behavior from partners. I don't need to put up with that now

I am not the kind of person who is going to do snything to get hostile or aggressive about....so if he does it's inappropriate. I ended things with a man I dated last year for this very reason.

I don't want to see any temper display...not even an angry facial expression...or it's off. I know I'm picky, but I've earned it.

SWEEEEET, you're BAAACK!!! It's good to see you again.... When it comes to the silent treatment, sometimes for me if the issue is really emotionally deep and painful, I can't bring myself to talk about what the problem is until I'm able to put distance and lots of serious thought between me and the issue. I think this is a self survival mechanism that kicks in starting in my gut, then working it's way through my heart up to my brain, where all I can think of at that point is putting the trauma out of my mind for awhile so I can heal... I never thought of it as being childish behavior, but if I really think on it at that level, then yes, I can agree that my inner child is telling me to hold my tongue so that the pain she feels can be limited as well... guess me and her might could use some therapy to become more functional as an adult, huh? But still... I'm so glad you're back again... you have been missed...

I never went anywhere, but thanks.

If it's someone I'm close to who is angry at me, I would hope they'd be able to actually talk to me about it, rather than having to put distance between us. If they must put distance between us to deal with it, perhaps we aren't quite as close as I thought. I get having to cool off a bit, but I'm talking about ignoring the issue, rather than discussing it after the cool off.

Into every passionate relationship a little rain must fall… and when it does it can end in a fight between two angry opponents that only moments before were friends and lovers… everybody fights differently… while some don’t even fight fair, or at all... how do you handle conflicts, and emotional aggression with your partner? By screaming, throwing things, physically fighting, the silent treatment? What is your MO?

My bad... I haven't seen you since I was told you weren't on site in about a week, but perhaps we just weren't running in the same circles...

oh okay, I understand your point... yes, clearing things up after a short cooling off period works best...

*smile* I simply meant that rather than discussing things and working out a solution, I would bring on the waterworks and try to make my partner feel guilty.
It is immature behaviour, but you use the tools that you have. Some people never learned how to be mature during confrontation. It's a skill that needs to be learned.
When I was going through my divorce 13 years ago, I went to counselling b/c I was having a hard time dealing with it. I learned a lot of skills that I feel should have been taught to me as a child. As a child I learned that confrontation of any kind was to be avoided, as it led to bad things. (I had a rough childhood and ended up in the foster care system).
Some people avoid any kind of confrontation and that is NOT healthy, as it leaks out in other ways, such as 'silent treatment', jealousy, fear, apprehension. How can you have a healthy, functioning, loving relationship that way? You can't.
*sliding gun behind the couch with the toe of my foot*

I think everyone loses their temper every once in a while, even if they don't want to admit it. So, expecting someone to never, ever get angry seems strange to me.

I think I like you Ruth, and your gun sliding toe... water works, huh? I wish that worked for me, cuz I can cry at the drop of a hat, but never when being aggressively confronted... anger tends to ignite my fright and flight mode and I can't run away fast enough if my eyes are blurry from tears... I'm sorry to hear of your troubled past, but you appear to have learned and grown strong because of it... and I admire every woman who is able to overcome adversity and live her life with dignity...

I think everyone loses their temper every once in a while, even if they don't want to admit it. So, expecting someone to never, ever get angry seems strange to me.

Yes. It has to have to interfere with my core values to get me excited, but I can change if the evidence warrants it after I cool down. To me, most things aren't worth fighting about.