Gotta watch your back...

Ha h aha haaaaaa
Tell them!!
But,reality is; here in Uganda,not a day goes by without a man who has shot/hacked/strangled/poisoned his wife to death!! Whats causing all this,i have no idea! And the Domestic Bill is still in Parliament-not made into law yet!!
Thats why i stay away from my countrymen....i run so fast it puts Usain Bolt to shame!

Jeezz, Newbie... and here I thought we have it bad... time to take a step back... and say... I'm glad you're covering your own azz... no man is worth that probability... and it does go to show that there are women in every country that still don't get any respect... but the kind that leads to death... WOW!!! again.. glad you're keeping your head down...

same here, exactly. You took the words right out of my mouth. If I get even the slightest hostility or argumentative tone from a man it is over. I live a very peaceful life now and I've been thru enough with controlling behavior from partners. I don't need to put up with that now

I am not the kind of person who is going to do snything to get hostile or aggressive about....so if he does it's inappropriate. I ended things with a man I dated last year for this very reason.

I don't want to see any temper display...not even an angry facial expression...or it's off. I know I'm picky, but I've earned it.

what I mean is that I do not argue. I will explain myself and listen and but I won't argue. If an explanation cannot resolve things then I will walk away or let him walk away. But I do not argue and seldomn give in (I'm assuming that by the time we get to the point of walking away the situation is large and past the point of giving in).

If I or he cannot give in or compromise one of us has to walk away. If he tries to prevent me frm walking away, then the "gloves will come off" as self defense basically as in communication with me is over and most likely for good. I will not allow a situation like that to continue

That doesn't sound picky to me. Just wise. I don't like displays of anger either. I like talking things through with the option of some quite time if things are too emotional.

I am so with you guys here. There's no room for it. life is meant to enjoyed and I just don't see the reasoning behind fighting. Things happen, that's life, but why does it have to turn into an ugly face instead of walking through the problem and taking care of it.

I may be terrible but when I start to see that fighting spirit I'm out of there. There's a switch that goes off in my head "not interested". I absolutely hate the feeling of getting mad and feel like death over it. Some can let it roll off their back and even seem built for it, and go to the extent to make drama, but count me out. Peace is the only place to dwell for these old bones.

I agree. This is even more so when first meeting someone. I figure if he is already mad at me for some reason on a second date....it's best not to have a 3rd. I am sure most men feel the same way. It's not so much a matter of who is right or wrong as it is compatability

one thing I think men need to remember is that their anger is very frightening to most women, particulatly in person - they are usually larger, with deeper voices and the voice tone particulary scares some women.

agreed - I liked what you said earlier also sbout things ending quickly when an impasse is reached. It's best to go separate ways and if that is done peacefully we can perhaps communicate as friends in the future. Arguing will almost always prevent that frm happening (future communication)

Yep sweet, that's the way I see it. And, I'm not sure some of the problem was not me. I'm a pretty eccentric fella and I can see a lot of things I do that could get under her skin. I don't buy it when people paint an evil picture of their ex. Some times this happens yes, but all of a sudden ALL guys or ALL women are bad. When someone takes that stand there is something wrong. Not everyone's ex can be a jerk right? that doesn't leave many of us

physical strength is intimidating.. yes, I agree...

no... we're not all jerks.. some of us are called biotches...

*smile* I simply meant that rather than discussing things and working out a solution, I would bring on the waterworks and try to make my partner feel guilty.
It is immature behaviour, but you use the tools that you have. Some people never learned how to be mature during confrontation. It's a skill that needs to be learned.
When I was going through my divorce 13 years ago, I went to counselling b/c I was having a hard time dealing with it. I learned a lot of skills that I feel should have been taught to me as a child. As a child I learned that confrontation of any kind was to be avoided, as it led to bad things. (I had a rough childhood and ended up in the foster care system).
Some people avoid any kind of confrontation and that is NOT healthy, as it leaks out in other ways, such as 'silent treatment', jealousy, fear, apprehension. How can you have a healthy, functioning, loving relationship that way? You can't.
*sliding gun behind the couch with the toe of my foot*

*hugs* I'm good friends with a beautiful young girl from Nairobi. She is Deaf, and has participated in pageants and won quite a few.
I worry about her though as she gets older and she is starting to 'play' with men. I worry about her safety, but you just can't tell a headstrong young person to be careful. They rarely listen.
Stay strong, stay beautiful, and hold out for a good loving man who will cherish you.

I think I like you Ruth, and your gun sliding toe... water works, huh? I wish that worked for me, cuz I can cry at the drop of a hat, but never when being aggressively confronted... anger tends to ignite my fright and flight mode and I can't run away fast enough if my eyes are blurry from tears... I'm sorry to hear of your troubled past, but you appear to have learned and grown strong because of it... and I admire every woman who is able to overcome adversity and live her life with dignity...

I think the silent treatment can be kind of childish. I'd much rather talk out the problem than ignore it and hope it goes away.