Into every passionate relationship a little rain must fall… and when it does it can end in a fight between two angry opponents that only moments before were friends and lovers… everybody fights differently… while some don’t even fight fair, or at all... how do you handle conflicts, and emotional aggression with your partner? By screaming, throwing things, physically fighting, the silent treatment? What is your MO?

I never lose my temper, children taught me patience.

So I don't fight...I listen and talk things out. It is hard for me to imagine someone getting into a fight with me.

Besides, been there, done that (fight) enough already.

I fight with silence. It seems to get a person's attention before anything else will.

I have to confess to being extremely dysfunctional when it comes to processing and expressing my discontent... due to my upbringing... we weren't allowed to fight amongst us siblings, and we girls mustn't fight at all... so, when I get really angry, to where I've had enough, I leave the conflict and avoid contact... when I've calmed down I talk things out... is it possible to change a lifelong habit like this, to become more functional, or are we stuck in the same groove for life? Just asking for your personal opinion, if you don't mind replying...

I used to be a "typical" man, controlling and hard headed. I changed and I think anyone can change.

If he’s small enough, I will go hand to hand with him. If he could easily overpower me, my equalizer of choice is a Louisville Slugger.

Actually, I don’t fight. It takes something really big to get me to raise more than my eyebrows. I tend to talk things out before they get that heated. If that’s not possible, and he’s over the top over something...cooling off time may be the answer. One of us should leave the room until we can discuss the situation like mature adults.

I agree... but if we remain silent, getting their attention won't matter... so do you talk things out eventually... or just act like nothing ever happened and move on? I ask this because I know people who fight and then just move on from it without any discussion or apologies... it's the strangest thing I've ever seen, but it works for them...

Okay.. cool...

I changed by reflecting on Jesus. And another thing changed me. Sometimes it takes tragedy to change one's outlook.

that was cute... you had me going there... my brows were raised for a second... I'm non aggressive myself, but I've experienced others who won't let you leave the room without following... while I remain silent they rage on until they get bored with it... and no matter how much I'm tempted to reciprocate I just can't... I wonder if I stay silent more out of fear, then upbringing?

That's truly good to hear, hippie.. that you reflect on Him... sorry to hear it was also for a tragic reason...

It's necessary to talk eventually (after all the hard feelings have been buried and cooler heads prevail). Effective communication gotta be the number #1 key in a relationship (trust is very close).

I've witnessed what you mentioned about acting like nothing ever happened. It's possible to work it out that way, but you gotta wonder if it stays with the person and festers akin to a zit. Isn't it nearly impossible to forgive and "completely" forget?? I argue that discussing it right after the incident is best policy.

Hummm all depends on how they choose the fight... I never throw stuff cost too much to replace.... I never say anything I do not mean words cut like a knife...One should never say things they do not mean out of rage..

I don't believe in getting physical and will not stay with anyone that does... Actually have never been in that position...

Do I yell? If they yell at me I will but would rather not... If I'm that pissed off it is best to let me be till later then lets talk about it and find some way to settle it....

If it works why change it?

a festering zit that's exactly what it feels like, the first and every time they did it to me... I walk away from a fight, but have to eventually talk about the reasons and solutions... but with those who act like nothing ever happened it makes it impossible to forgive or forget, because I'm always waiting to hear the closing argument...

I like what you said about not saying ugly things out of rage... because words do hurt and their scars can last a long time...

Come to think about it, I do raise my voice when I'm really agitated, though not to the yell level... or maybe it just doesn't seem like it to me...

true...

What gets me is those that do say things out of rage then later act as if they just said that to piss you off. And swear they did not mean it...I call bs that is when you can really find out what the other is thinking...

Maybe a combo of both? My father was a rager, and I had to put up with it, answering his outbursts, head down, with "Yes Sir....Yes Sir....Yes Sir", watching his face get redder and redder with each rant. As I got older, I learned to talk him down by placating him.

Now that I don't have to put up with it, I don't. I've never dated a rager, but if I ever do, the first rant will be the last one THIS GIRL ever hears...and I don't care how much I like the man or how great the sex is. It would ruin the whole relationship for me, because I'd never be able to see him as an intelligent adult again. I've never deserved to be spoken to like that...and doubt that anyone does.

Yea, I know... and it's always those words I "never" forget... and each time after, I lose even more respect...