Every relationship starts out with both parties being able to reach out and communicate with one another. Finding joy and solace in each other's company!
But many atimes, we allow this communication channels to clog up, leading to lack of proper understanding and misconceptions!
Why do we stop talking, when we know the consequences will negatively affect our heart's peace?

Because we are afraid that we will say the wrong thing. Because we don't want to hurt each other. Because we aren't being honest. Because we are trying to get things straight in our heads and we are not sure how we feel.

Because it takes 2 to communicate... from my own experience..I was always trying to keep those lines open until I felt it was all one sided. Then I stopped trying...when I finally said ..Its over.
He wanted to know what he could do to change my mind... NOW he wanted to communicate..after the lines had been closed.

All too often the communication is there, but at least one party is too full of pride to ever admit that the other party is correct about something.

hi guys, communication is a must in any relationship, and does take 2, when only one sided you have to decide what's best for you, it's not always easy. have a great night :)

Sometimes all we need is a listening ear in times of crisis or problems. And if our partner continuously shuts us out, we're pushed to feel we are ALONE! And attempts to repair the broken link face a real uphill task. But i think being able to trust again and allow another chance is worth it!

Have any of you met someone on a dating site that wouldn't have a proper chat about their feelings for you and how they thought the relationship was going but because you met that way they kept trolling you with emails? If I ever do this again I'm just going to tell them. Talk to my face or pick up the phone. Don't start a flame war over the internet with me because we are going to fall out.

Don't you just hate it, when excuses are made for someone having an affair? "We're only human". Yes, so we are, but you wouldn't be so lax about it, if it was someone murdering someone. Hard to trust the same person who tarnished your trust. Better to save all your efforts for someone you COULD trust. Jmho.

I always say that men listen but do they really HEAR? It is really easy to listen and let it go in one ear and out the other...you just have to pay attention and hear what your partner is saying. Once you lose communication, I think you are in trouble!!!

Really good point. This is one of the <many> problems with society. Hell-in-a-handbasket for sure. Life ain't fair, but if we do our part and our damdest, it could be fair-er. Communications is critical, and without it, crap usually follows. I have been a dick at times, so it's perfectly alright for my wife to have had an affair right? If two wrongs make a right then we are ALL seriously screwed.

I wish that women would try to avoid communicating during the following:

Football game- Any topics that are not of the emergency status (meaning someone is dying or passed, etc) need wait till halftime. I know halftime is brief, but you'd be surprised how quickly a dude will communicate all the topics his lady wants to go over within that seven minute time span. After the game is over, communication can continue. Respect the football game and your man will love you more for it.

During sex- Okay, unless you wanna know how how your man wants to treat you like the pornstar he loves watching, then all other conversation topics can wait. Don't ask about the bills, or what's for dinner, or how should you guys work on fixing up the house. A man needs to concentrate so he can satisfy his women. No extra undue stress need apply.

When he is working on fixing something that is broken in the home- You want him to be the repair man right? Well, then please be kind and stay back. Allow the man to do his thing. If he is attempting to fix a leaky faucet, then don't come around five minutes (after he has begun to work on the faucet) and talk about other stuff. The man needs to analyze the issue. He needs to focus on the one problem. He doesn't need you coming around with more issues. Give him about fifteen minutes on the faucet and then just simply come by and see if he needs any assistance. Once he has assessed the damage and knows how he is gonna fix it, then let him tell ya about it and then ask him about other things.

These are but a few examples. Guys don't mind communicating. We just hate it when you ladies wanna communicate at the most inappropriate time.

honestly, many do not truly start out communicating, they start out worrying about 'impressions', saying the 'right' things, being the 'right' things for whomever they are trying to attract

I think its more that relationships end when people get comfortable enough to allow their flaws to surface because they didnt communicate HONESTLY at the beginning,,,

people dont go in as two individuals getting to know each other, they are usually at least one individual trying to 'impress' the other

You should listen to what the other person is not saying.

Bad communication with words of being vulgar is no communication. Good communication is better (unselfish) to help one another.

Think I really like the idea of listening to what the other person is NOT saying.
We miss out many times on the UNSPOKEN words :-)

I Agree with this!

If anyone will allow pRIDE to prevent him or her from reaching out or listening to the partner, he or she is simply courting emotional disaster which could end up undoing any pride possessed!

I don't think lack of communication is the real problem. As long as both people are happy, communication is easy. It's only when problems arise that communication becomes an issue. You start to disagree and argue. If you can't come to an arrangement, you just stop talking about it. So, a lack of communication isn't the problem, but only a symptom.

the hardest thing about listening is taking the emotion away and listeining without thinking about your response while your partner is still talking.

so patience is required. BOTH must allow each other to finish and reconfirm wha they heard was said and confirm that their partner heard them correctly before even attempting solutions

this means there must be an atmosphere of mutual respect where both feel they will be given ample time to speak


if one partner feels like they are being rushed or there is too much emotion infusesd, the other will stop listening then they will start interrupting each other. no matter how hard it is - both must have ample and at least equal time.

Good thread. Very interesting. This happened to me recently and caused the break up. Yeah. It was sweet at first. Dating was awesome. Then, I moved in with her. She was afraid. I should have been. It moved too fast. We could reach out and communicate with one another and find joy and solace in each other's company but I think that is because we still didn't know each other.

It is when we tried to become a couple that it started to break down. I think we got into each other's head too much. The lack of understanding and misconceptions couldn't be dealt with. We became a couple of fools. I had unresolved issues and so did she. We started talking about our exes too much and could not move beyond that. I tried my best to please her and I think that was a problem because I begun to become less of who I was. From her talking about her ex I think I made the same mistake he did. I really started to feel sorry for him and I never even got to meet the guy.

Fortunately, for both of us we began to see that it simply wasn't working for us. I guess I wasn't who she thought I was and I guess she wasn't who I thought she was. I thought there was a real friendship and I guess she must have thought the same. I don't know. I think we both can agree that we weren't meant for each other. I am happy being apart from her. The differences being irreconcilable between us leads me to believe we weren't really friends after all but I still appreciate the time we had together.