Topic: no strings
no photo
Wed 12/26/12 09:54 AM


I think this is an awesome idea! Many women could use some reducing and I don't have a problem with recycling and reusing other men's girlfriends.


sadly many men tote around a lot of excess.. yet they feel entitled to their desires no matter if they've achieved their own!?! noway however.. there's a LOT more to a person than just the outer shell..!

as far as the above statement is concerned though.. in my world, a person with this mindset would be considered a 'cad'..


navygirl's photo
Wed 12/26/12 09:59 AM




Just going by the Op's own words. Sounds like sleeping around to me. You'll note he put the phrase "use someone for sex". That's what a person that sleeps around says.

"That just says I want to use someone for sex.
its sex without all the hassle of relationships, have been hurt far too many times in the past n we all have needs."


No, that's what you're reading into it. He may simply want one woman to have sex with once in a while. One that won't trouble him with all the needy things so many women come with.

I would love to find a woman that only wants sex from me. She'd understand that all that love stuff in nonsense and have her life so together she'd want to avoid all the same issues I want to avoid.

Just imagine a person that doesn't need anything. Someone that has their life so together they don't want to risk screwing it up by getting involved with someone else's problems.

I can tell you that women like this are few and far between.


A woman can have her life together and not want to be used for sex. I have my life together and I don't need a man for anything as I am completely self-sufficient/indpendent; but I also have enough self respect to not be used just as a booty call. I am a human being and I think I deserved to be treated as a person; not just used for sex. Just like men don't like to be used for money; women don't want to be used for sex but then again we were mentioning women being attracted to jerks; so maybe this ties in with the other thread.


Not "used for sex." Sharing a pleasurable, sexual experience. Think about it and I'm sure you'll agree. If you're life is perfect, why would you want to risk that by getting involved too deeply with another person that may ad a chaotic element to the mix? It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Two people can enjoy spending time together and having sex with out "using" each other.





Well that kind of woman usually doesn't need a man and is probably not all that interested in sex either.

And if all you have to or want to offer a woman is sex, then it better be pretty damn good sex, and don't expect her to fix your breakfast afterwards. Just put your pants on and get out. laugh

laugh


Yes! Exactly! I live my life and she lives hers. We come together and enjoy each other when we want. But, she's not in my home, my bank accounts or anything else I don't want her in and I'm not in hers.


Bottom line Texas Scoundrel is if I am going to have sex with someone; I actually have to love them first. If I just want sexual gratfication; a sex toy will do that so why bother with the hassles of trying to arrange a time with a man?

TexasScoundrel's photo
Wed 12/26/12 10:15 AM

Bottom line Texas Scoundrel is if I am going to have sex with someone; I actually have to love them first. If I just want sexual gratfication; a sex toy will do that so why bother with the hassles of trying to arrange a time with a man?


But, you can be in love and still have no strings. Being in love is a different issue from attaching strings. You can love someone without making demands for living together or marriage. You can be in love without co-mingling assets. You can be in love and still maintain your own lifestyle.

navygirl's photo
Wed 12/26/12 10:17 AM


Bottom line Texas Scoundrel is if I am going to have sex with someone; I actually have to love them first. If I just want sexual gratfication; a sex toy will do that so why bother with the hassles of trying to arrange a time with a man?


But, you can be in love and still have no strings. Being in love is a different issue from attaching strings. You can love someone without making demands for living together or marriage. You can be in love without co-mingling assets. You can be in love and still maintain your own lifestyle.


Maybe you can; I can't. I can't love someone that I only see for sex. I love my friends but I wouldn't have sex with them as that is a different type of love. I guess whatever works for you go with it; but I simply couldn't do that.

TexasScoundrel's photo
Wed 12/26/12 10:19 AM

sadly many men tote around a lot of excess.. yet they feel entitled to their desires no matter if they've achieved their own!?! noway however.. there's a LOT more to a person than just the outer shell..!

as far as the above statement is concerned though.. in my world, a person with this mindset would be considered a 'cad'..


Firstly, I was making a joke. Maybe it fell flat. C'est la vie.

Second, cad is a title I'll take as a complement. So, thanks.

TexasScoundrel's photo
Wed 12/26/12 10:21 AM

Maybe you can; I can't. I can't love someone that I only see for sex. I love my friends but I wouldn't have sex with them as that is a different type of love. I guess whatever works for you go with it; but I simply couldn't do that.


But, if you were both on love it wouldn't be just sex. It would be love, just without strings.

no photo
Wed 12/26/12 10:28 AM


sadly many men tote around a lot of excess.. yet they feel entitled to their desires no matter if they've achieved their own!?! noway however.. there's a LOT more to a person than just the outer shell..!

as far as the above statement is concerned though.. in my world, a person with this mindset would be considered a 'cad'..


Firstly, I was making a joke. Maybe it fell flat. C'est la vie.

Second, cad is a title I'll take as a complement. So, thanks.


the written word oftentimes looses a lot in translation
bien oui.. c'est la vie.. ohwell

if that's what you prefer? sure.. go for it! drinker
although Webster has a different take on it :wink:

navygirl's photo
Wed 12/26/12 10:33 AM


Maybe you can; I can't. I can't love someone that I only see for sex. I love my friends but I wouldn't have sex with them as that is a different type of love. I guess whatever works for you go with it; but I simply couldn't do that.


But, if you were both on love it wouldn't be just sex. It would be love, just without strings.


Nope; I would be in it for the long haul. I have no problem signing a pre-nup, giving a man the freedom to be with his friends or persue his hobbies; having seperate bank accounts; etc as this would also work for me, but I can't love someone just for sex. I'd want more. As I said; this obviously works for you but I can't and won't ever do that.

no photo
Wed 12/26/12 10:34 AM


It can mean that they like spending time with you when it suits them but they aren't going to give you any commitment. If you go along with it then you are both guilty of using each other for sex really.

It isn't the same thing as paying a prostitute. Prostitutes just do it for the money.

Some relationships just don't work but people that can't get on with each other in a proper relationship can still sometimes have great sex together. The problem with it is when one of you wants more than that and then you just have to make up your mind if it's worth it or not.


I can't agree - men who want truly meaningless sex (if there is such a thing) need to line up and pay. anything else risks the involvement of feelings - and men who do not care about that do not deserve a decent woman with feelings. she'd be wasting herself on such a man.




I don't think there really is meaningless sex. One or both may not be interested in a relationship, but that doesn't make it meaningless. You're enjoying time together, which means something.

TexasScoundrel's photo
Wed 12/26/12 10:43 AM

Nope; I would be in it for the long haul. I have no problem signing a pre-nup, giving a man the freedom to be with his friends or persue his hobbies; having seperate bank accounts; etc as this would also work for me, but I can't love someone just for sex. I'd want more. As I said; this obviously works for you but I can't and won't ever do that.


But, you can both be in it for the long haul and still have no strings. There's no need for a pre-nup if you don't get married. You can be in love without living together. You can go on dates and visit friends and have sex all without strings. If there's no need for strings and nothing is gained by them, Why have them?

navygirl's photo
Wed 12/26/12 10:57 AM


Nope; I would be in it for the long haul. I have no problem signing a pre-nup, giving a man the freedom to be with his friends or persue his hobbies; having seperate bank accounts; etc as this would also work for me, but I can't love someone just for sex. I'd want more. As I said; this obviously works for you but I can't and won't ever do that.


But, you can both be in it for the long haul and still have no strings. There's no need for a pre-nup if you don't get married. You can be in love without living together. You can go on dates and visit friends and have sex all without strings. If there's no need for strings and nothing is gained by them, Why have them?


I want someone there for me; that cares about me and my feelings. Maybe I would like to get married some day. A no strings attached means you can see and date others which is the correct meaning of it. Sorry; I don't deserve to be treated like that. I have way to much self-respect for myself. As I said; if it works for you; then go for it. You will never convince me that I could be happy with a no strings attached.

navygirl's photo
Wed 12/26/12 10:57 AM


Nope; I would be in it for the long haul. I have no problem signing a pre-nup, giving a man the freedom to be with his friends or persue his hobbies; having seperate bank accounts; etc as this would also work for me, but I can't love someone just for sex. I'd want more. As I said; this obviously works for you but I can't and won't ever do that.


But, you can both be in it for the long haul and still have no strings. There's no need for a pre-nup if you don't get married. You can be in love without living together. You can go on dates and visit friends and have sex all without strings. If there's no need for strings and nothing is gained by them, Why have them?


I want someone there for me; that cares about me and my feelings. Maybe I would like to get married some day. A no strings attached means you can see and date others which is the correct meaning of it. Sorry; I don't deserve to be treated like that. I have way to much self-respect for myself. As I said; if it works for you; then go for it. You will never convince me that I could be happy with a no strings attached.

TexasScoundrel's photo
Wed 12/26/12 11:13 AM

I want someone there for me; that cares about me and my feelings. Maybe I would like to get married some day. A no strings attached means you can see and date others which is the correct meaning of it. Sorry; I don't deserve to be treated like that. I have way to much self-respect for myself. As I said; if it works for you; then go for it. You will never convince me that I could be happy with a no strings attached.


No strings doesn't mean you're seeing others. It means there are no legal ties between you.

I'm not trying to convince you of anything. I'm trying to understand your need for strings.

navygirl's photo
Wed 12/26/12 11:25 AM


I want someone there for me; that cares about me and my feelings. Maybe I would like to get married some day. A no strings attached means you can see and date others which is the correct meaning of it. Sorry; I don't deserve to be treated like that. I have way to much self-respect for myself. As I said; if it works for you; then go for it. You will never convince me that I could be happy with a no strings attached.


No strings doesn't mean you're seeing others. It means there are no legal ties between you.

I'm not trying to convince you of anything. I'm trying to understand your need for strings.


Look up the definition of "no strings" and yes it means seeing others. What is wrong with legal ties? Perhaps I want something deeper than a sexual relationship; even a spiritual relationship that goes beyond love. I see life differently than you but it may because of the time I have spent and still spending in the military. I can't make you understand my needs anymore than I can understand yours. We have to find what is going to make us happy and your type of relationship simply wouldn't work for me. I guess we should just agree to disagree.

no photo
Wed 12/26/12 11:31 AM


I want someone there for me; that cares about me and my feelings. Maybe I would like to get married some day. A no strings attached means you can see and date others which is the correct meaning of it. Sorry; I don't deserve to be treated like that. I have way to much self-respect for myself. As I said; if it works for you; then go for it. You will never convince me that I could be happy with a no strings attached.


No strings doesn't mean you're seeing others. It means there are no legal ties between you.

I'm not trying to convince you of anything. I'm trying to understand your need for strings.


I think that those who use the term "no strings attached" mean just having sex and maybe going out once in a while. No relationship. No falling in love. Not dating exclusively. I wouldn't assume it just means no marriage.

navygirl's photo
Wed 12/26/12 11:41 AM



I want someone there for me; that cares about me and my feelings. Maybe I would like to get married some day. A no strings attached means you can see and date others which is the correct meaning of it. Sorry; I don't deserve to be treated like that. I have way to much self-respect for myself. As I said; if it works for you; then go for it. You will never convince me that I could be happy with a no strings attached.


No strings doesn't mean you're seeing others. It means there are no legal ties between you.

I'm not trying to convince you of anything. I'm trying to understand your need for strings.


I think that those who use the term "no strings attached" mean just having sex and maybe going out once in a while. No relationship. No falling in love. Not dating exclusively. I wouldn't assume it just means no marriage.


Exactly; and if you look up the definition; it says seeing others.

TexasScoundrel's photo
Wed 12/26/12 11:42 AM

Look up the definition of "no strings" and yes it means seeing others. What is wrong with legal ties? Perhaps I want something deeper than a sexual relationship; even a spiritual relationship that goes beyond love. I see life differently than you but it may because of the time I have spent and still spending in the military. I can't make you understand my needs anymore than I can understand yours. We have to find what is going to make us happy and your type of relationship simply wouldn't work for me. I guess we should just agree to disagree.


Alright, I looked it up and here's what I found;

"Doing something for someone without asking for anything in return."


The problem with legal ties is it opens you up to to problems if things don't work out. There are things that won't hold up in a pre-nup. No children is an example. If I maintain myself you she does the same I'll never have to pay her alimony. If I never share a bank account with her she'll never be able to empty it. By the way, not allowing her access to "family funds" is legally abuse. If we don't live together I'll never have to sleep on the couch because we argued.

What do you gain by getting married that you don't already have?

no photo
Wed 12/26/12 11:48 AM


Look up the definition of "no strings" and yes it means seeing others. What is wrong with legal ties? Perhaps I want something deeper than a sexual relationship; even a spiritual relationship that goes beyond love. I see life differently than you but it may because of the time I have spent and still spending in the military. I can't make you understand my needs anymore than I can understand yours. We have to find what is going to make us happy and your type of relationship simply wouldn't work for me. I guess we should just agree to disagree.


Alright, I looked it up and here's what I found;

"Doing something for someone without asking for anything in return."





Of course, you left out the second part of that particular definition which said seeing other people.


TexasScoundrel's photo
Wed 12/26/12 11:51 AM



Look up the definition of "no strings" and yes it means seeing others. What is wrong with legal ties? Perhaps I want something deeper than a sexual relationship; even a spiritual relationship that goes beyond love. I see life differently than you but it may because of the time I have spent and still spending in the military. I can't make you understand my needs anymore than I can understand yours. We have to find what is going to make us happy and your type of relationship simply wouldn't work for me. I guess we should just agree to disagree.


Alright, I looked it up and here's what I found;

"Doing something for someone without asking for anything in return."





Of course, you left out the second part of that particular definition which said seeing other people.




I didn't leave anything out. Maybe you found it someplace different than I did. If I'm wrong about the definition, I stand corrected.

no photo
Wed 12/26/12 11:53 AM
I think it's one of those things that are going to mean different things to different people. As you can see, many think it means no serious relationship and seeing other people. If you use that term with someone, just make sure they understand exactly what you mean, so there are no misunderstandings.