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| Topic: Friends or Lovers or Both? | |
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You got it right Swingsme
 Its a discussion. Can't take things to heart. I think people are trying to explain things and are sinking deeper in it. I use to go to church 3 day out of the week my views were different then. One day I hope to find a church again where I can put all that effort back in. but allot of my views have changed too So I have to find one that fits me. Because I can get into a relationship where there is no marriage license but I still feel married. Will get married again after being divorced then Widowed NO not unless after I turn 60. And mainly for my surcurity . If I get married before that I loose my benefits. I see allot of seniors legally divorcing but really staying married in there relationships because the benefits are less and very hard to survive on. |
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Fri 05/11/12 06:53 AM
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carold, you are correct about not taking things to heart. It just gets old after a while when giving an opinion and others saying that opinion is wrong. We're all giving opinions. They may not be what works for others, but that doesn't mean they're wrong.
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Fri 05/11/12 07:50 AM
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Wow. Alrighty.
pssst - you're using a public forum. No one here needs to mind their own business. |
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Hi cutie! just kids playing in the school yard |
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Hi cutie! just kids playing in the school yard 
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I don't think the air conditioning is working well in here...getting awfully hot.
  
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Hi cutie! just kids playing in the school yard Beautiful I know I'm wearing mine now! |
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Hi cutie! just kids playing in the school yard Beautiful I know I'm wearing mine now! Ummm..me too  Everyone ...Please start a line to the left,single file..please. 
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Hi cutie! just kids playing in the school yard Beautiful I know I'm wearing mine now!  |
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This thread has been purged of the personal attacks.
Feel free to use the 'Report' function if you see a thread going south. Please comment on the Topic without making it personal. soufie Site Moderator |
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The natives are restless!
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know  Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. Hi Vivian, Yes you both are special and I know you are too. We just see things differently on this matter. I am glad and it is good you have found what you are interested in relationship-wise. We all need someone and I see looking at all the responses there is reasons why and limitations that each desires in a relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. You may have a good FWB arrangement but not all relationships may turn out the same as it is for you. Some men may be in a FWB just to be able to have a variety of sex partners and may be the only reason too for a FWB; in this case a woman not you but the other woman the thread starter referred to. Some people do not like commitment and just do not want to be committed to another ... or for other reasons. That is fine too. In all cases I agree with friendship first before any kind of relationship develops, a FWB or a commitment relationship of full union with one person for life. With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. I prefer a commitment relationship of loyality, fidelity and trust. I have had it before in my life with my past husband and I am sure of finding another man who wants the same and lived a similiar life and that is with fidelity, a one-to-one full commitment to each other only. I would give up my freedom and other things that comes along living a single life for a total committed married life any day! Both worlds I have experienced, the single life (without sex) and marriage, both good worlds are my experiences and seek the same type of relationship. Marriage worked before and is hard work but the benefits are the best. It worked for me and it may not of worked for another well, but it did for me and I will would not in any circumstances ever change my mind or have a FWB relatioship. A FWB is just not right for me and never will be either. Excellent post. I also brought up the risk of sexual diseases.  With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. What you are saying here is true..it does open the door for STD's...so does it, anytime you sleep with someone..even if you're in love and want to be married to that person..Very few people are virgins anymore..there is no guarentee that your choosen one has not ever slept with someone else, and there is no guarentee that that person won't have an affair after you marry...some risks are just THERE.. Y'all keep repeating that it just a guilt free way to sleep around...that is so untrue...what I'm talking about is having a relationship with ONE person. Not 2 or 5 or 10.....just one. And that is all I have to say on the subject... Vivian, I disagree. I married a virgin, a truly honest man who was faithful till he died. It is not a fairy tale and there are other men who will commit and had the same. Sure I am not a virgin but and another man who lost his wife or and had one other lover are around. There are true blue faithful people in this world and I bet a thousand that there are. True there are more men in this world who will not commit and all they want is to sleep around ... those are the ones you want to stay clear off and would not touch them ever with a ten foot pole! Unless you marry a very young man...or a man that has had never been married and lived a very virtious life, I'm willing to bet that there are not MANY virgins around..I understand what you are saying and I wish you all the luck in the world finding that one man that is unsullied by any type of frivolous sexual encounters. We all want that one person that is loyal, true, and unhampered by any kind of past. But in my 65 years on this earth..it has not proven to be the case. I know there are true blue faithful people out there..I know a few of them. I respect them and their beliefs But I will say this...unless one has ridden the river with me..I wouldn't trust him. Sometimes what they tell you and what they have done and will do are very different stories. While I prefer fwb, I am also true and faithful, it will take my "partner" to break trust. I never messed around in any way on either wife I had, just the way I am. Maybe the term "fwb" is wrong in it's use, the way I use it. Like I said, for me it is like a bf/gf deal. |
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Yep, I think (like with many terms) FWB has gotten a certain rep and a wider maybe even more discriptive term would be better.
like "you ole slut you" |
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While I prefer fwb, I am also true and faithful, it will take my "partner" to break trust. I never messed around in any way on either wife I had, just the way I am. Maybe the term "fwb" is wrong in it's use, the way I use it. Like I said, for me it is like a bf/gf deal. Why use the term fwb if you're really talking about a girlfriend? |
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I prefer my Lovers to be my friend......
But not my friends to be my Lovers!!!! Thats just me!!!! |
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Edited by
Phuque2
on
Sat 05/12/12 05:45 AM
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While I prefer fwb, I am also true and faithful, it will take my "partner" to break trust. I never messed around in any way on either wife I had, just the way I am. Maybe the term "fwb" is wrong in it's use, the way I use it. Like I said, for me it is like a bf/gf deal. Why use the term fwb if you're really talking about a girlfriend? Because it's a public forum and he wanted to. From now on it will be called GWB or BWB |
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I prefer my Lovers to be my friend...... But not my friends to be my Lovers!!!! Thats just me!!!! You're such a rebel... 
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Wow. Alrighty. pssst - you're using a public forum. No one here needs to mind their own business. 
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I prefer my Lovers to be my friend...... But not my friends to be my Lovers!!!! Thats just me!!!! You're such a rebel... It scares me......sometimes!!!!! 
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