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| Topic: Friends or Lovers or Both? | |
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Edited by
WholesomeWoman
on
Wed 05/09/12 11:34 AM
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know  
Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you
I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. Hi Vivian, Yes you both are special and I know you are too. We just see things differently on this matter. I am glad and it is good you have found what you are interested in relationship-wise. We all need someone and I see looking at all the responses there is reasons why and limitations that each desires in a relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. You may have a good FWB arrangement but not all relationships may turn out the same as it is for you. Some men may be in a FWB just to be able to have a variety of sex partners and may be the only reason too for a FWB; in this case a woman not you but the other woman the thread starter referred to. Some people do not like commitment and just do not want to be committed to another ... or for other reasons. That is fine too. In all cases I agree with friendship first before any kind of relationship develops, a FWB or a commitment relationship of full union with one person for life.
With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. I prefer a commitment relationship of loyality, fidelity and trust. I have had it before in my life with my past husband and I am sure of finding another man who wants the same and lived a similiar life and that is with fidelity, a one-to-one full commitment to each other only. I would give up my freedom and other things that comes along living a single life for a total committed married life any day! Both worlds I have experienced, the single life (without sex) and marriage, both good worlds are my experiences and seek the same type of relationship. Marriage worked before and is hard work but the benefits are the best. It worked for me and it may not of worked for another well, but it did for me and I will would not in any circumstances ever change my mind or have a FWB relatioship. A FWB is just not right for me and never will be either. |
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know
Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you
I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. Hi Vivian, Yes you both are special and I know you are too. We just see things differently on this matter. I am glad and it is good you have found what you are interested in relationship-wise. We all need someone and I see looking at all the responses there is reasons why and limitations that each desires in a relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. You may have a good FWB arrangement but not all relationships may turn out the same as it is for you. Some men may be in a FWB just to be able to have a variety of sex partners and may be the only reason too for a FWB; in this case a woman not you but the other woman the thread starter referred to. Some people do not like commitment and just do not want to be committed to another ... or for other reasons. That is fine too. In all cases I agree with friendship first before any kind of relationship develops, a FWB or a commitment relationship of full union with one person for life.
With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. I prefer a commitment relationship of loyality, fidelity and trust. I have had it before in my life with my past husband and I am sure of finding another man who wants the same and lived a similiar life and that is with fidelity, a one-to-one full commitment to each other only. I would give up my freedom and other things that comes along living a single life for a total committed married life any day! Both worlds I have experienced, the single life (without sex) and marriage, both good worlds are my experiences and seek the same type of relationship. Marriage worked before and is hard work but the benefits are the best. It worked for me and it may not of worked for another well, but it did for me and I will would not in any circumstances ever change my mind or have a FWB relatioship. A FWB is just not right for me and never will be either. Excellent post. I also brought up the risk of sexual diseases. 
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Edited by
WholesomeWoman
on
Wed 05/09/12 11:54 AM
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know
Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. Thank you for the compliment,but you totally misread what I said. I said I tried it once and it was NOT right for me. But I do not judge or look down on people that do. Please accept my apologies Betts if I offended you in any way in my mistake.
I feel the same as you too, I do not judge or look down on people that prefer or have a FWB relationship either. To each their own in what they choose. |
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know
Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you
I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. Hi Vivian, Yes you both are special and I know you are too. We just see things differently on this matter. I am glad and it is good you have found what you are interested in relationship-wise. We all need someone and I see looking at all the responses there is reasons why and limitations that each desires in a relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. You may have a good FWB arrangement but not all relationships may turn out the same as it is for you. Some men may be in a FWB just to be able to have a variety of sex partners and may be the only reason too for a FWB; in this case a woman not you but the other woman the thread starter referred to. Some people do not like commitment and just do not want to be committed to another ... or for other reasons. That is fine too. In all cases I agree with friendship first before any kind of relationship develops, a FWB or a commitment relationship of full union with one person for life.
With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. I prefer a commitment relationship of loyality, fidelity and trust. I have had it before in my life with my past husband and I am sure of finding another man who wants the same and lived a similiar life and that is with fidelity, a one-to-one full commitment to each other only. I would give up my freedom and other things that comes along living a single life for a total committed married life any day! Both worlds I have experienced, the single life (without sex) and marriage, both good worlds are my experiences and seek the same type of relationship. Marriage worked before and is hard work but the benefits are the best. It worked for me and it may not of worked for another well, but it did for me and I will would not in any circumstances ever change my mind or have a FWB relatioship. A FWB is just not right for me and never will be either. Excellent post. I also brought up the risk of sexual diseases.
Great points! I'm in no way trying to advacate a FWB relationship..I'm just trying to let you know there Can be a relationship, with ONE person, that can work. Like I was trying to point out, it's not ALL about the sex...any good relationship isn't just about one thing.
This man drove 250 miles in a snow and ice storm to make sure I had firewood and running water...if it was just sex, he would not have cared..but he is a good friend and tends to look out for me..and I him. Truely there is way more friendship than sex. And I would not consider having the same type of relationship with anyone less..In this case...we see eye to eye on most everything..including neither of us wants to be in a committed relationship. |
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know
Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. Thank you for the compliment,but you totally misread what I said. I said I tried it once and it was NOT right for me. But I do not judge or look down on people that do. Please accept my apologies Betts if I offended you in any way in my mistake.
I feel the same as you too, I do not judge or look down on people that prefer or have a FWB relationship either. To each their own in what they choose. Oh no you did not offend .Sorry if you though that.I just knew you read it wrong is all. |
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Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging anyone. If you are OK with it, It's alright. But for me, It's wrong in more ways than one. To me, To do this means you have to be able to keep your heart out of it. You can't allow yourself to get attached to that person. I'm just not built that way. If I am having sex with a woman then I feel an attachment to her. To me it's a commitment. To me it seems if you take the attachment and the commitment out of it, It's just sex with no meaning. No better than an animal.Seems primal. We are just having sex for sex sake. No more than scratching an itch. It also makes me feel like she can't get a real boyfriend some reason. So, I'm the next best thing. I don't want to be any bodies next best thing. Some people really enjoy sex and are able to do so even when not in a committed relationship. Some are not able to enjoy it without being in a committed relationship. Neither are wrong. I'm not sure I'd go as far as comparing them to animals either. But, whatever works for you. Now, if you're going to judge someone for enjoying sex and assume she cannot get a boyfriend, that's a bit different. Perhaps there are other things going on in her life that do not give her time to have a full on relationship. Who knows. Either way, it isn't for you. Just be honest about that. OK, I'll give you the "animals" thing. Maybe that was a little much. But still, Why settle for less than what you can have? I mean, Why have a FWB relationship when your worth more than that? The boyfriend thing, I'm not saying it's true. I'm just saying it makes me wonder. I don't know, I guess what I am trying to say is, I'm more than that. I've known this woman close to a year, She is more than that to. To me, She is worth more than just FWB. Even if I am not the one for her, She is worth a good mans time. She is worth a real relationship and nothing less. I feel the same way about myself. We are both worth more than that. Now, Maybe to some I sound like an *******. I assure you I'm not. I'm trying to do the right thing for both of us. I can be her friend and be OK with it for many years. But I can't "be" with her sexually in any way and keep my heart out of it. To me anything less than a full real relationship would be empty. I don't know if any of you ladies know it or think about it, As time goes by there are fewer and fewer men that are willing to give themselves to a full relationship. A lot of men now want nothing but to take it and go. FWB is most mens dream. No commitment. Right now I know a guy that has three women living with him. He sleeps with all of them. A lot of times at the same time. He is living his dream. Wouldn't be mine. But to each their own. The idea of one man with one woman is slowly going away. If you meet a man who likes sex, But isn't sex driven, That wants a real relationship with just one, You have found a one in a million man. Hold on to him. You may find another. But I bet you, It will be a while before you do. Men like me that want more are getting less and less. |
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Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging anyone. If you are OK with it, It's alright. But for me, It's wrong in more ways than one. To me, To do this means you have to be able to keep your heart out of it. You can't allow yourself to get attached to that person. I'm just not built that way. If I am having sex with a woman then I feel an attachment to her. To me it's a commitment. To me it seems if you take the attachment and the commitment out of it, It's just sex with no meaning. No better than an animal.Seems primal. We are just having sex for sex sake. No more than scratching an itch. It also makes me feel like she can't get a real boyfriend some reason. So, I'm the next best thing. I don't want to be any bodies next best thing. Some people really enjoy sex and are able to do so even when not in a committed relationship. Some are not able to enjoy it without being in a committed relationship. Neither are wrong. I'm not sure I'd go as far as comparing them to animals either. But, whatever works for you. Now, if you're going to judge someone for enjoying sex and assume she cannot get a boyfriend, that's a bit different. Perhaps there are other things going on in her life that do not give her time to have a full on relationship. Who knows. Either way, it isn't for you. Just be honest about that. OK, I'll give you the "animals" thing. Maybe that was a little much. But still, Why settle for less than what you can have? I mean, Why have a FWB relationship when your worth more than that? The boyfriend thing, I'm not saying it's true. I'm just saying it makes me wonder. I don't know, I guess what I am trying to say is, I'm more than that. I've known this woman close to a year, She is more than that to. To me, She is worth more than just FWB. Even if I am not the one for her, She is worth a good mans time. She is worth a real relationship and nothing less. I feel the same way about myself. We are both worth more than that. Now, Maybe to some I sound like an *******. I assure you I'm not. I'm trying to do the right thing for both of us. I can be her friend and be OK with it for many years. But I can't "be" with her sexually in any way and keep my heart out of it. To me anything less than a full real relationship would be empty. I don't know if any of you ladies know it or think about it, As time goes by there are fewer and fewer men that are willing to give themselves to a full relationship. A lot of men now want nothing but to take it and go. FWB is most mens dream. No commitment. Right now I know a guy that has three women living with him. He sleeps with all of them. A lot of times at the same time. He is living his dream. Wouldn't be mine. But to each their own. The idea of one man with one woman is slowly going away. If you meet a man who likes sex, But isn't sex driven, That wants a real relationship with just one, You have found a one in a million man. Hold on to him. You may find another. But I bet you, It will be a while before you do. Men like me that want more are getting less and less. Charles; you are so right. Every guy my age just wants sex or a FWB and could care less about me or my thoughts. I suspect that will never change at my age which is yet another reason I don't date. I have a great many male friends that I would give my life for but I would never sleep with them. I respect them and myself to screw up the friendship. Charles; don't ever change who you are. It would be nice to know that some woman would appreciate you for who you are. Cheers. |
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I don't know if any of you ladies know it or think about it, As time goes by there are fewer and fewer men that are willing to give themselves to a full relationship. A lot of men now want nothing but to take it and go. FWB is most mens dream. No commitment. Right now I know a guy that has three women living with him. He sleeps with all of them. A lot of times at the same time. He is living his dream. Wouldn't be mine. But to each their own.
Charles, what you stated above is just wrong in so many ways...not what you said ..but that man you are talking about...just out and out wrong...to me that is taking advantage and the women are letting him...that is a disaster waiting to happen...so many things that can he hurtful and harmful. They will never know the true meaning of a relationship. They may not survive this one intact. I understand what you all are saying..and if I was your age, I'd agree. But I'm not. I've been married, had that life..I miss it, but am not going there again. So therefore, I'm happy with my desicions.and btw...it has been over a year since I last saw my FWB..even tho we still talk on the phone, we're still very much best friends. |
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know
Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you
I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. Hi Vivian, Yes you both are special and I know you are too. We just see things differently on this matter. I am glad and it is good you have found what you are interested in relationship-wise. We all need someone and I see looking at all the responses there is reasons why and limitations that each desires in a relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. You may have a good FWB arrangement but not all relationships may turn out the same as it is for you. Some men may be in a FWB just to be able to have a variety of sex partners and may be the only reason too for a FWB; in this case a woman not you but the other woman the thread starter referred to. Some people do not like commitment and just do not want to be committed to another ... or for other reasons. That is fine too. In all cases I agree with friendship first before any kind of relationship develops, a FWB or a commitment relationship of full union with one person for life.
With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. I prefer a commitment relationship of loyality, fidelity and trust. I have had it before in my life with my past husband and I am sure of finding another man who wants the same and lived a similiar life and that is with fidelity, a one-to-one full commitment to each other only. I would give up my freedom and other things that comes along living a single life for a total committed married life any day! Both worlds I have experienced, the single life (without sex) and marriage, both good worlds are my experiences and seek the same type of relationship. Marriage worked before and is hard work but the benefits are the best. It worked for me and it may not of worked for another well, but it did for me and I will would not in any circumstances ever change my mind or have a FWB relatioship. A FWB is just not right for me and never will be either. Excellent post. I also brought up the risk of sexual diseases.
With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. What you are saying here is true..it does open the door for STD's...so does it, anytime you sleep with someone..even if you're in love and want to be married to that person..Very few people are virgins anymore..there is no guarentee that your choosen one has not ever slept with someone else, and there is no guarentee that that person won't have an affair after you marry...some risks are just THERE.. Y'all keep repeating that it just a guilt free way to sleep around...that is so untrue...what I'm talking about is having a relationship with ONE person. Not 2 or 5 or 10.....just one. And that is all I have to say on the subject...
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know
Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you
I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. Hi Vivian, Yes you both are special and I know you are too. We just see things differently on this matter. I am glad and it is good you have found what you are interested in relationship-wise. We all need someone and I see looking at all the responses there is reasons why and limitations that each desires in a relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. You may have a good FWB arrangement but not all relationships may turn out the same as it is for you. Some men may be in a FWB just to be able to have a variety of sex partners and may be the only reason too for a FWB; in this case a woman not you but the other woman the thread starter referred to. Some people do not like commitment and just do not want to be committed to another ... or for other reasons. That is fine too. In all cases I agree with friendship first before any kind of relationship develops, a FWB or a commitment relationship of full union with one person for life.
With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. I prefer a commitment relationship of loyality, fidelity and trust. I have had it before in my life with my past husband and I am sure of finding another man who wants the same and lived a similiar life and that is with fidelity, a one-to-one full commitment to each other only. I would give up my freedom and other things that comes along living a single life for a total committed married life any day! Both worlds I have experienced, the single life (without sex) and marriage, both good worlds are my experiences and seek the same type of relationship. Marriage worked before and is hard work but the benefits are the best. It worked for me and it may not of worked for another well, but it did for me and I will would not in any circumstances ever change my mind or have a FWB relatioship. A FWB is just not right for me and never will be either. Excellent post. I also brought up the risk of sexual diseases.
With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. What you are saying here is true..it does open the door for STD's...so does it, anytime you sleep with someone..even if you're in love and want to be married to that person..Very few people are virgins anymore..there is no guarentee that your choosen one has not ever slept with someone else, and there is no guarentee that that person won't have an affair after you marry...some risks are just THERE.. Y'all keep repeating that it just a guilt free way to sleep around...that is so untrue...what I'm talking about is having a relationship with ONE person. Not 2 or 5 or 10.....just one. And that is all I have to say on the subject...
You don't have to justify to anyone about your FWB. We are merely stating why we don't want it. As many posters have said; if it works for you then for it. |
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know
Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you
I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. Hi Vivian, Yes you both are special and I know you are too. We just see things differently on this matter. I am glad and it is good you have found what you are interested in relationship-wise. We all need someone and I see looking at all the responses there is reasons why and limitations that each desires in a relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. You may have a good FWB arrangement but not all relationships may turn out the same as it is for you. Some men may be in a FWB just to be able to have a variety of sex partners and may be the only reason too for a FWB; in this case a woman not you but the other woman the thread starter referred to. Some people do not like commitment and just do not want to be committed to another ... or for other reasons. That is fine too. In all cases I agree with friendship first before any kind of relationship develops, a FWB or a commitment relationship of full union with one person for life.
With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. I prefer a commitment relationship of loyality, fidelity and trust. I have had it before in my life with my past husband and I am sure of finding another man who wants the same and lived a similiar life and that is with fidelity, a one-to-one full commitment to each other only. I would give up my freedom and other things that comes along living a single life for a total committed married life any day! Both worlds I have experienced, the single life (without sex) and marriage, both good worlds are my experiences and seek the same type of relationship. Marriage worked before and is hard work but the benefits are the best. It worked for me and it may not of worked for another well, but it did for me and I will would not in any circumstances ever change my mind or have a FWB relatioship. A FWB is just not right for me and never will be either. Excellent post. I also brought up the risk of sexual diseases.
With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. What you are saying here is true..it does open the door for STD's...so does it, anytime you sleep with someone..even if you're in love and want to be married to that person..Very few people are virgins anymore..there is no guarentee that your choosen one has not ever slept with someone else, and there is no guarentee that that person won't have an affair after you marry...some risks are just THERE.. Y'all keep repeating that it just a guilt free way to sleep around...that is so untrue...what I'm talking about is having a relationship with ONE person. Not 2 or 5 or 10.....just one. And that is all I have to say on the subject...
You don't have to justify to anyone about your FWB. We are merely stating why we don't want it. As many posters have said; if it works for you then for it. Oh I'm not trying to justify...there's no need, but I seem to be having trouble communicating that I'm not talking about several partners..which isn't FWB...it's just consented sex...and has no meaning. |
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know
Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you
I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. Hi Vivian, Yes you both are special and I know you are too. We just see things differently on this matter. I am glad and it is good you have found what you are interested in relationship-wise. We all need someone and I see looking at all the responses there is reasons why and limitations that each desires in a relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. You may have a good FWB arrangement but not all relationships may turn out the same as it is for you. Some men may be in a FWB just to be able to have a variety of sex partners and may be the only reason too for a FWB; in this case a woman not you but the other woman the thread starter referred to. Some people do not like commitment and just do not want to be committed to another ... or for other reasons. That is fine too. In all cases I agree with friendship first before any kind of relationship develops, a FWB or a commitment relationship of full union with one person for life.
With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. I prefer a commitment relationship of loyality, fidelity and trust. I have had it before in my life with my past husband and I am sure of finding another man who wants the same and lived a similiar life and that is with fidelity, a one-to-one full commitment to each other only. I would give up my freedom and other things that comes along living a single life for a total committed married life any day! Both worlds I have experienced, the single life (without sex) and marriage, both good worlds are my experiences and seek the same type of relationship. Marriage worked before and is hard work but the benefits are the best. It worked for me and it may not of worked for another well, but it did for me and I will would not in any circumstances ever change my mind or have a FWB relatioship. A FWB is just not right for me and never will be either. Excellent post. I also brought up the risk of sexual diseases.
With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. What you are saying here is true..it does open the door for STD's...so does it, anytime you sleep with someone..even if you're in love and want to be married to that person..Very few people are virgins anymore..there is no guarentee that your choosen one has not ever slept with someone else, and there is no guarentee that that person won't have an affair after you marry...some risks are just THERE.. Y'all keep repeating that it just a guilt free way to sleep around...that is so untrue...what I'm talking about is having a relationship with ONE person. Not 2 or 5 or 10.....just one. And that is all I have to say on the subject...
You don't have to justify to anyone about your FWB. We are merely stating why we don't want it. As many posters have said; if it works for you then for it. Oh I'm not trying to justify...there's no need, but I seem to be having trouble communicating that I'm not talking about several partners..which isn't FWB...it's just consented sex...and has no meaning. Well, I understood what you were saying. I guess my worry wouldn't be myself having several partners but possibly the FWB I am with. I think that is what most people have in the back of their mind. A friend of mine who recently got into a relationship with a girl had to get a clean bill of health from the doctor to make sure he was disease free; so yes whether in a relationship or not; one can catch a disease. I guess most people are thinking if they have a faithful partner; then the risk would be considerably lower than with an FWB. |
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Well, I understood what you were saying. I guess my worry wouldn't be myself having several partners but possibly the FWB I am with. I think that is what most people have in the back of their mind. A friend of mine who recently got into a relationship with a girl had to get a clean bill of health from the doctor to make sure he was disease free; so yes whether in a relationship or not; one can catch a disease. I guess most people are thinking if they have a faithful partner; then the risk would be considerably lower than with an FWB.
Yes, that is true and understandable. I can only speak from experience. I had a husband once that ran around on me so much I used to say that if I left and went to the grocery store there was a chance that he'd have someone else moved in...to me, for as long as I was married to him, I feared that I'd get something...luckily I didn't..and the marriage didn't last all that long. But the fear stayed with me for years that something would show up..until I had a clean bill of health from a doctor. So, yeah I understand the fears and concerns. Do you know where the term FWB really started? Years ago, when the government started spending people's Social Security and married couples actualy divorced and still lived together to be able to afford daily expenses and health care from their SS and retirement benifits..that was the true FWB. |
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Well, I understood what you were saying. I guess my worry wouldn't be myself having several partners but possibly the FWB I am with. I think that is what most people have in the back of their mind. A friend of mine who recently got into a relationship with a girl had to get a clean bill of health from the doctor to make sure he was disease free; so yes whether in a relationship or not; one can catch a disease. I guess most people are thinking if they have a faithful partner; then the risk would be considerably lower than with an FWB. Yes, that is true and understandable. I can only speak from experience. I had a husband once that ran around on me so much I used to say that if I left and went to the grocery store there was a chance that he'd have someone else moved in...to me, for as long as I was married to him, I feared that I'd get something...luckily I didn't..and the marriage didn't last all that long. But the fear stayed with me for years that something would show up..until I had a clean bill of health from a doctor. So, yeah I understand the fears and concerns. Do you know where the term FWB really started? Years ago, when the government started spending people's Social Security and married couples actualy divorced and still lived together to be able to afford daily expenses and health care from their SS and retirement benifits..that was the true FWB. I didn't know where the FWB term came from. Well, I learned something new today. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks. I am glad you came out of your marriage with a clean bill of health. It must have been pretty scary for you wondering. |
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I prefer a commitment relationship of loyality, fidelity and trust. I would prefer that too...but it doesn't come with a piece of paper. I would suggest that I'm probably not the only one on this site that was once in a committed relationship based on trust, fidelity and loyalty (aka marriage!) That did not prevent me from being put at risk from my partner's promiscuous behavior or from STDs. In retrospect, I'm lucky to not have contracted anything long-term or life threatening under the guise of a secure relationship. Marriage doesn't guarantee anything and no matter how much you love a single person, you can't guarantee faithfulness in return. A committed relationship without marriage, as described by several people here under the FWB category, can be as secure, loyal and faithful as you describe wishing for. We aren't talking about bed-hoppers or multiple partners. BTW - I consider myself pretty upright in terms of morals (I've been called a prude!) I also believe that in some things, our puritanical upbringings hurt us rather than prepare us for life and it's realities. Sex is a normal, human behavior. Sexual incompatibility can be devastating to relationships (including MARRIAGES!) A FWB relationship - not a one-night-stand or 'hey, baby...wanna hook up as a FWB?' - may not be such a bad thing. I know I'm speaking from an age where I can look back, but my perspective has sure changed over the years. Keep an open mind as the years go on. You might be surprised at your viewpoint in 10, 20 or 30 years. Or not. Either way, it's okay - no judgement. |
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OK, I'll give you the "animals" thing. Maybe that was a little much. But still, Why settle for less than what you can have? I mean, Why have a FWB relationship when your worth more than that? The boyfriend thing, I'm not saying it's true. I'm just saying it makes me wonder. I don't know, I guess what I am trying to say is, I'm more than that. I've known this woman close to a year, She is more than that to. To me, She is worth more than just FWB. Even if I am not the one for her, She is worth a good mans time. She is worth a real relationship and nothing less. I feel the same way about myself. We are both worth more than that. Now, Maybe to some I sound like an *******. I assure you I'm not. I'm trying to do the right thing for both of us. I can be her friend and be OK with it for many years. But I can't "be" with her sexually in any way and keep my heart out of it. To me anything less than a full real relationship would be empty. I don't know if any of you ladies know it or think about it, As time goes by there are fewer and fewer men that are willing to give themselves to a full relationship. A lot of men now want nothing but to take it and go. FWB is most mens dream. No commitment. Right now I know a guy that has three women living with him. He sleeps with all of them. A lot of times at the same time. He is living his dream. Wouldn't be mine. But to each their own. The idea of one man with one woman is slowly going away. If you meet a man who likes sex, But isn't sex driven, That wants a real relationship with just one, You have found a one in a million man. Hold on to him. You may find another. But I bet you, It will be a while before you do. Men like me that want more are getting less and less. Everyone is different. However, you're judging this woman you like solely because she is interested in sex and doesn't want a relationship right now. If that's not for you, no problem. That doesn't make her a bad person, though. |
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I am getting more confused by the minute about what a FWB actually is.
If its a committed relationship with one person on both sides then I could do that. If its a non committed thing where its just friends meeting up from time to time and having sex for just sex then no way. In other words I don't have to be married to somebody or even living with them ,but I do have to know he has strong feelings for me and I for him and that it is a monogamous relationship. |
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Sorry i was just stating my preference is all. Sorry if anyone took what i said as an offence somewhat. Having just read all the posts above mine, i think i possibly COULD consider having a fwb. As long as we both had a very mutual respect for each other. I see what Vivian was meaning, when she pointed out that there are less and less men wanting a true long-lasting relationship. I was born in the eighties, so i still get a bit old-fashioned about love at times. lol. Who knows what could happen? That one person, who you didn't see coming, might just blow you away. That's the best feeling in the world :)
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I am getting more confused by the minute about what a FWB actually is. If its a committed relationship with one person on both sides then I could do that. If its a non committed thing where its just friends meeting up from time to time and having sex for just sex then no way. In other words I don't have to be married to somebody or even living with them ,but I do have to know he has strong feelings for me and I for him and that it is a monogamous relationship. It's going to be different for everyone. |
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Sorry i was just stating my preference is all. Sorry if anyone took what i said as an offence somewhat. Having just read all the posts above mine, i think i possibly COULD consider having a fwb. As long as we both had a very mutual respect for each other. I see what Vivian was meaning, when she pointed out that there are less and less men wanting a true long-lasting relationship. I was born in the eighties, so i still get a bit old-fashioned about love at times. lol. Who knows what could happen? That one person, who you didn't see coming, might just blow you away. That's the best feeling in the world :) I wasn't offended, personally. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I was born a long time before the 80's...age doesn't dictate what's right for each of us.
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