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| Topic: Friends or Lovers or Both? | |
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I've always thought to myself that every woman should be treat like a princess, and that every man be treat like a prince. In todays world, you'd be lucky if you ever found such a great partnet to do that. Me, personally, i couldn't do the fwb thing. What if i suddenly got pregnant from having sex with them? I wouldn't be happy that the potential father had the option of escaping that responsibility. With me it's either all or nothing. I will never do something half-heartedly. I just simply ask that a man treats me how he wants to be treated.
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I've always thought to myself that every woman should be treated like a princess, and that every man be treat like a prince. In today's world, you'd be lucky if you ever found such a great partnet to do that. Me, personally, i couldn't do the fwb thing. What if i suddenly got pregnant from having sex with them? I wouldn't be happy that the potential father had the option of escaping that responsibility. With me it's either all or nothing. I will never do something half-heartedly. I just simply ask that a man treats me how he wants to be treated. I looked at your profile. You're 30. The woman I'm talking about has 18 yrs on you. Her kids are grown and gone. She was "fixed" a long time ago. So, Getting pregnant isn't a worry for her. The thing that bugs me, I could actually really like this woman as more than a friend. That's what spooks me. You see, As long as we leave it as a friends thing, No sex, Just friends, I'll be OK. I can be friends with her. But, If I give over, I think I will be on my way to getting hurt. I got this feeling, If I tell her no, I will lose her as a friend. But, If I tell her yes, I'll screw up and get my heart-broken. Seems I am damned if I do, Damned if I don't. To be totally honest with you guys, I don't want to do it simply because I'm not that type. I'll see her this evening. I guess if I lose her as a friend, I'll just have to lose a friend. I am surprised at the answers so far. I think most of you are in Canada though? Culture difference maybe? Here in the USA for the most part we are a "if it feels good,do it" people. There are a "FEW" out there with some moral value. Getting less and less by the day though. |
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Well I have a person I've dated turned into a FWB relationship. Before that I would of said no. We just know that is all it can be. But it could go into just friends. Almost there.
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I've always thought to myself that every woman should be treated like a princess, and that every man be treat like a prince. In today's world, you'd be lucky if you ever found such a great partnet to do that. Me, personally, i couldn't do the fwb thing. What if i suddenly got pregnant from having sex with them? I wouldn't be happy that the potential father had the option of escaping that responsibility. With me it's either all or nothing. I will never do something half-heartedly. I just simply ask that a man treats me how he wants to be treated. I looked at your profile. You're 30. The woman I'm talking about has 18 yrs on you. Her kids are grown and gone. She was "fixed" a long time ago. So, Getting pregnant isn't a worry for her. The thing that bugs me, I could actually really like this woman as more than a friend. That's what spooks me. You see, As long as we leave it as a friends thing, No sex, Just friends, I'll be OK. I can be friends with her. But, If I give over, I think I will be on my way to getting hurt. I got this feeling, If I tell her no, I will lose her as a friend. But, If I tell her yes, I'll screw up and get my heart-broken. Seems I am damned if I do, Damned if I don't. To be totally honest with you guys, I don't want to do it simply because I'm not that type. I'll see her this evening. I guess if I lose her as a friend, I'll just have to lose a friend. I am surprised at the answers so far. I think most of you are in Canada though? Culture difference maybe? Here in the USA for the most part we are a "if it feels good,do it" people. There are a "FEW" out there with some moral value. Getting less and less by the day though. |
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know   Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. |
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. Thoughtfully said and I agree. |
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. I'm willing to bet there are a lot more people out there who are open to a FWB situation, but just won't speak up about it. I don't think it's more of a man thing to want it. |
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I've always thought to myself that every woman should be treated like a princess, and that every man be treat like a prince. In today's world, you'd be lucky if you ever found such a great partnet to do that. Me, personally, i couldn't do the fwb thing. What if i suddenly got pregnant from having sex with them? I wouldn't be happy that the potential father had the option of escaping that responsibility. With me it's either all or nothing. I will never do something half-heartedly. I just simply ask that a man treats me how he wants to be treated. I looked at your profile. You're 30. The woman I'm talking about has 18 yrs on you. Her kids are grown and gone. She was "fixed" a long time ago. So, Getting pregnant isn't a worry for her. The thing that bugs me, I could actually really like this woman as more than a friend. That's what spooks me. You see, As long as we leave it as a friends thing, No sex, Just friends, I'll be OK. I can be friends with her. But, If I give over, I think I will be on my way to getting hurt. I got this feeling, If I tell her no, I will lose her as a friend. But, If I tell her yes, I'll screw up and get my heart-broken. Seems I am damned if I do, Damned if I don't. To be totally honest with you guys, I don't want to do it simply because I'm not that type. I'll see her this evening. I guess if I lose her as a friend, I'll just have to lose a friend. I am surprised at the answers so far. I think most of you are in Canada though? Culture difference maybe? Here in the USA for the most part we are a "if it feels good,do it" people. There are a "FEW" out there with some moral value. Getting less and less by the day though. Not all people who have a sexual relationship with someone is immoral... FWB cannot not work if one person wants and expects more from the relationship than the other. Gees, ya'll act like it's 'let's get it on!!" It's not that way...FWB can and do, spend time with the other WITHOUT having sex..that is just a side benifit if both are willing.. they can go hiking, bowling, to the movies, have dinner together, call each other a 3 in the morning, share heartaches and happiness...they are just mature enough and confident enough in themselves to have a rewarding relationship without the bull chit of being jealous and clingy. |
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Wed 05/09/12 09:30 AM
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I've always thought to myself that every woman should be treated like a princess, and that every man be treat like a prince. In today's world, you'd be lucky if you ever found such a great partnet to do that. Me, personally, i couldn't do the fwb thing. What if i suddenly got pregnant from having sex with them? I wouldn't be happy that the potential father had the option of escaping that responsibility. With me it's either all or nothing. I will never do something half-heartedly. I just simply ask that a man treats me how he wants to be treated. I looked at your profile. You're 30. The woman I'm talking about has 18 yrs on you. Her kids are grown and gone. She was "fixed" a long time ago. So, Getting pregnant isn't a worry for her. The thing that bugs me, I could actually really like this woman as more than a friend. That's what spooks me. You see, As long as we leave it as a friends thing, No sex, Just friends, I'll be OK. I can be friends with her. But, If I give over, I think I will be on my way to getting hurt. I got this feeling, If I tell her no, I will lose her as a friend. But, If I tell her yes, I'll screw up and get my heart-broken. Seems I am damned if I do, Damned if I don't. To be totally honest with you guys, I don't want to do it simply because I'm not that type. I'll see her this evening. I guess if I lose her as a friend, I'll just have to lose a friend. I am surprised at the answers so far. I think most of you are in Canada though? Culture difference maybe? Here in the USA for the most part we are a "if it feels good,do it" people. There are a "FEW" out there with some moral value. Getting less and less by the day though. No, I don't think its a cultural thing; its a personal thing. I just think I deserve better. |
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. Thank you for the compliment,but you totally misread what I said. I said I tried it once and it was NOT right for me. But I do not judge or look down on people that do. |
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. Thank you for the compliment,but you totally misread what I said. I said I tried it once and it was NOT right for me. But I do not judge or look down on people that do. Yep, I tried it too without knowing it was a FWB. It made me feel cheap, used, and unloved. I treasure my friends and will spend lots of time with them but never have sex with them. It would ruin our friendship but that is just me. Never again for me but for others; do as you please. 
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. Thank you for the compliment,but you totally misread what I said. I said I tried it once and it was NOT right for me. But I do not judge or look down on people that do. Yep, I tried it too without knowing it was a FWB. It made me feel cheap, used, and unloved. I treasure my friends and will spend lots of time with them but never have sex with them. It would ruin our friendship but that is just me. Never again for me but for others; do as you please. Well I did know thats all it would be ,but soon found out it was a huge mistake. Just not right for me. |
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Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging anyone. If you are OK with it, It's alright. But for me, It's wrong in more ways than one. To me, To do this means you have to be able to keep your heart out of it. You can't allow yourself to get attached to that person. I'm just not built that way. If I am having sex with a woman then I feel an attachment to her. To me it's a commitment.
To me it seems if you take the attachment and the commitment out of it, It's just sex with no meaning. No better than an animal.Seems primal. We are just having sex for sex sake. No more than scratching an itch. It also makes me feel like she can't get a real boyfriend some reason. So, I'm the next best thing. I don't want to be any bodies next best thing. |
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Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging anyone. If you are OK with it, It's alright. But for me, It's wrong in more ways than one. To me, To do this means you have to be able to keep your heart out of it. You can't allow yourself to get attached to that person. I'm just not built that way. If I am having sex with a woman then I feel an attachment to her. To me it's a commitment. To me it seems if you take the attachment and the commitment out of it, It's just sex with no meaning. No better than an animal.Seems primal. We are just having sex for sex sake. No more than scratching an itch. It also makes me feel like she can't get a real boyfriend some reason. So, I'm the next best thing. I don't want to be any bodies next best thing. Some people really enjoy sex and are able to do so even when not in a committed relationship. Some are not able to enjoy it without being in a committed relationship. Neither are wrong. I'm not sure I'd go as far as comparing them to animals either. But, whatever works for you. Now, if you're going to judge someone for enjoying sex and assume she cannot get a boyfriend, that's a bit different. Perhaps there are other things going on in her life that do not give her time to have a full on relationship. Who knows. Either way, it isn't for you. Just be honest about that. |
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Edited by
2KidsMom
on
Wed 05/09/12 11:07 AM
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Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging anyone. If you are OK with it, It's alright. But for me, It's wrong in more ways than one. To me, To do this means you have to be able to keep your heart out of it. You can't allow yourself to get attached to that person. I'm just not built that way. If I am having sex with a woman then I feel an attachment to her. To me it's a commitment. To me it seems if you take the attachment and the commitment out of it, It's just sex with no meaning. No better than an animal.Seems primal. We are just having sex for sex sake. No more than scratching an itch. It also makes me feel like she can't get a real boyfriend some reason. So, I'm the next best thing. I don't want to be any bodies next best thing. Thank God for people like you Sing..that seem to get y(our) point across...better than me. Good comments ((Sing))^^^My first real thought.to his comment was... WTF, Really.. What an azzhole. |
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If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. Thank you for the compliment,but you totally misread what I said. I said I tried it once and it was NOT right for me. But I do not judge or look down on people that do. Yep, I tried it too without knowing it was a FWB. It made me feel cheap, used, and unloved. I treasure my friends and will spend lots of time with them but never have sex with them. It would ruin our friendship but that is just me. Never again for me but for others; do as you please. Well I did know thats all it would be ,but soon found out it was a huge mistake. Just not right for me. Yeah and not to mention that your FWB may have other FWBs which opens up the chance for some nasty diseases. |
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Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging anyone. If you are OK with it, It's alright. But for me, It's wrong in more ways than one. To me, To do this means you have to be able to keep your heart out of it. You can't allow yourself to get attached to that person. I'm just not built that way. If I am having sex with a woman then I feel an attachment to her. To me it's a commitment. To me it seems if you take the attachment and the commitment out of it, It's just sex with no meaning. No better than an animal.Seems primal. We are just having sex for sex sake. No more than scratching an itch. It also makes me feel like she can't get a real boyfriend some reason. So, I'm the next best thing. I don't want to be any bodies next best thing. that's sort of the way I feel too. My physical needs are not nearly as important to me as my emotional needs. The two need each to blend perfectly together too make it work succefully for me. Sex is just sex , making love is a whole different thing for me. I used the phrase" for me" a lot because its just the way I feel ,but I know and respect the fact that everyone is different. |
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Wed 05/09/12 11:21 AM
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Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging anyone. If you are OK with it, It's alright. But for me, It's wrong in more ways than one. To me, To do this means you have to be able to keep your heart out of it. You can't allow yourself to get attached to that person. I'm just not built that way. If I am having sex with a woman then I feel an attachment to her. To me it's a commitment. To me it seems if you take the attachment and the commitment out of it, It's just sex with no meaning. No better than an animal.Seems primal. We are just having sex for sex sake. No more than scratching an itch. It also makes me feel like she can't get a real boyfriend some reason. So, I'm the next best thing. I don't want to be any bodies next best thing. Well, I don't know about the fact that she can't get a real boyfriend but I do agree with what you are saying about having sex with no attachment. It wouldn't feel right for me either. I would feel cheap; like an occassional one night stand;although I only speak for how I would feel. |
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Edited by
BettyB
on
Wed 05/09/12 11:27 AM
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I've always thought to myself that every woman should be treated like a princess, and that every man be treat like a prince. In today's world, you'd be lucky if you ever found such a great partnet to do that. Me, personally, i couldn't do the fwb thing. What if i suddenly got pregnant from having sex with them? I wouldn't be happy that the potential father had the option of escaping that responsibility. With me it's either all or nothing. I will never do something half-heartedly. I just simply ask that a man treats me how he wants to be treated. I looked at your profile. You're 30. The woman I'm talking about has 18 yrs on you. Her kids are grown and gone. She was "fixed" a long time ago. So, Getting pregnant isn't a worry for her. The thing that bugs me, I could actually really like this woman as more than a That's what spooks me. You see, As long as we leave it as a friends thing, No sex, Just friends, I'll be OK. I can be friends with her. But, If I give over, I think I will be on my way to getting hurt. I got this feeling, If I tell her no, I will lose her as a friend. But, If I tell her yes, I'll screw up and get my heart-broken. Seems I am damned if I do, Damned if I don't. To be totally honest with you guys, I don't want to do it simply because I'm not that type. I'll see her this evening. I guess if I lose her as a friend, I'll just have to lose a friend. I am surprised at the answers so far. I think most of you are in Canada though? Culture difference maybe? Here in the USA for the most part we are a "if it feels good,do it" people. There are a "FEW" out there with some moral value. Getting less and less by the day though. Not all people who have a sexual relationship with someone is immoral... FWB cannot not work if one person wants and expects more from the relationship than the other. Gees, ya'll act like it's 'let's get it on!!" It's not that way...FWB can and do, spend time with the other WITHOUT having sex..that is just a side benifit if both are willing.. they can go hiking, bowling, to the movies, have dinner together, call each other a 3 in the morning, share heartaches and happiness...they are just mature enough and confident enough in themselves to have a rewarding relationship without the bull chit of being jealous and clingy. So FWB Never get clingy and jealous and they are suppose to be mature. No wonder it didn't work for me  Seriously though ,I don't think a committed relationship means that you are immature ,clingy and jealous . Especially when you are made to feel emotinally and physically safe. |
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Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging anyone. If you are OK with it, It's alright. But for me, It's wrong in more ways than one. To me, To do this means you have to be able to keep your heart out of it. You can't allow yourself to get attached to that person. I'm just not built that way. If I am having sex with a woman then I feel an attachment to her. To me it's a commitment. To me it seems if you take the attachment and the commitment out of it, It's just sex with no meaning. No better than an animal.Seems primal. We are just having sex for sex sake. No more than scratching an itch. It also makes me feel like she can't get a real boyfriend some reason. So, I'm the next best thing. I don't want to be any bodies next best thing. Thank God for people like you Sing..that seem to get y(our) point across...better than me. Good comments ((Sing))^^^My first real thought.to his comment was... WTF, Really.. What an azzhole. Thanks
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