100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Friends or Lovers or Both? | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
I am getting more confused by the minute about what a FWB actually is. If its a committed relationship with one person on both sides then I could do that. If its a non committed thing where its just friends meeting up from time to time and having sex for just sex then no way. In other words I don't have to be married to somebody or even living with them ,but I do have to know he has strong feelings for me and I for him and that it is a monogamous relationship. It's going to be different for everyone. Sounds like it lol. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know   Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. Hi Vivian, Yes you both are special and I know you are too. We just see things differently on this matter. I am glad and it is good you have found what you are interested in relationship-wise. We all need someone and I see looking at all the responses there is reasons why and limitations that each desires in a relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. You may have a good FWB arrangement but not all relationships may turn out the same as it is for you. Some men may be in a FWB just to be able to have a variety of sex partners and may be the only reason too for a FWB; in this case a woman not you but the other woman the thread starter referred to. Some people do not like commitment and just do not want to be committed to another ... or for other reasons. That is fine too. In all cases I agree with friendship first before any kind of relationship develops, a FWB or a commitment relationship of full union with one person for life. With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. I prefer a commitment relationship of loyality, fidelity and trust. I have had it before in my life with my past husband and I am sure of finding another man who wants the same and lived a similiar life and that is with fidelity, a one-to-one full commitment to each other only. I would give up my freedom and other things that comes along living a single life for a total committed married life any day! Both worlds I have experienced, the single life (without sex) and marriage, both good worlds are my experiences and seek the same type of relationship. Marriage worked before and is hard work but the benefits are the best. It worked for me and it may not of worked for another well, but it did for me and I will would not in any circumstances ever change my mind or have a FWB relatioship. A FWB is just not right for me and never will be either. Excellent post. I also brought up the risk of sexual diseases.  With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. What you are saying here is true..it does open the door for STD's...so does it, anytime you sleep with someone..even if you're in love and want to be married to that person..Very few people are virgins anymore..there is no guarentee that your choosen one has not ever slept with someone else, and there is no guarentee that that person won't have an affair after you marry...some risks are just THERE.. Y'all keep repeating that it just a guilt free way to sleep around...that is so untrue...what I'm talking about is having a relationship with ONE person. Not 2 or 5 or 10.....just one. And that is all I have to say on the subject... You don't have to justify to anyone about your FWB. We are merely stating why we don't want it. As many posters have said; if it works for you then for it. Oh I'm not trying to justify...there's no need, but I seem to be having trouble communicating that I'm not talking about several partners..which isn't FWB...it's just consented sex...and has no meaning. Viv, I think you have been very clear and to the point. It has helped me understand this view more accurately. thank you |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry i was just stating my preference is all. Sorry if anyone took what i said as an offence somewhat. Having just read all the posts above mine, i think i possibly COULD consider having a fwb. As long as we both had a very mutual respect for each other. I see what Vivian was meaning, when she pointed out that there are less and less men wanting a true long-lasting relationship. I was born in the eighties, so i still get a bit old-fashioned about love at times. lol. Who knows what could happen? That one person, who you didn't see coming, might just blow you away. That's the best feeling in the world :) Good post! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. Hi Vivian, Yes you both are special and I know you are too. We just see things differently on this matter. I am glad and it is good you have found what you are interested in relationship-wise. We all need someone and I see looking at all the responses there is reasons why and limitations that each desires in a relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. You may have a good FWB arrangement but not all relationships may turn out the same as it is for you. Some men may be in a FWB just to be able to have a variety of sex partners and may be the only reason too for a FWB; in this case a woman not you but the other woman the thread starter referred to. Some people do not like commitment and just do not want to be committed to another ... or for other reasons. That is fine too. In all cases I agree with friendship first before any kind of relationship develops, a FWB or a commitment relationship of full union with one person for life. With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. I prefer a commitment relationship of loyality, fidelity and trust. I have had it before in my life with my past husband and I am sure of finding another man who wants the same and lived a similiar life and that is with fidelity, a one-to-one full commitment to each other only. I would give up my freedom and other things that comes along living a single life for a total committed married life any day! Both worlds I have experienced, the single life (without sex) and marriage, both good worlds are my experiences and seek the same type of relationship. Marriage worked before and is hard work but the benefits are the best. It worked for me and it may not of worked for another well, but it did for me and I will would not in any circumstances ever change my mind or have a FWB relatioship. A FWB is just not right for me and never will be either. Excellent post. I also brought up the risk of sexual diseases. With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. What you are saying here is true..it does open the door for STD's...so does it, anytime you sleep with someone..even if you're in love and want to be married to that person..Very few people are virgins anymore..there is no guarentee that your choosen one has not ever slept with someone else, and there is no guarentee that that person won't have an affair after you marry...some risks are just THERE.. Y'all keep repeating that it just a guilt free way to sleep around...that is so untrue...what I'm talking about is having a relationship with ONE person. Not 2 or 5 or 10.....just one. And that is all I have to say on the subject... You don't have to justify to anyone about your FWB. We are merely stating why we don't want it. As many posters have said; if it works for you then for it. Oh I'm not trying to justify...there's no need, but I seem to be having trouble communicating that I'm not talking about several partners..which isn't FWB...it's just consented sex...and has no meaning. Viv, I think you have been very clear and to the point. It has helped me understand this view more accurately. thank you Thank you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
WholesomeWoman
on
Wed 05/09/12 05:53 PM
|
|
If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. Hi Vivian, Yes you both are special and I know you are too. We just see things differently on this matter. I am glad and it is good you have found what you are interested in relationship-wise. We all need someone and I see looking at all the responses there is reasons why and limitations that each desires in a relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. You may have a good FWB arrangement but not all relationships may turn out the same as it is for you. Some men may be in a FWB just to be able to have a variety of sex partners and may be the only reason too for a FWB; in this case a woman not you but the other woman the thread starter referred to. Some people do not like commitment and just do not want to be committed to another ... or for other reasons. That is fine too. In all cases I agree with friendship first before any kind of relationship develops, a FWB or a commitment relationship of full union with one person for life. With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. I prefer a commitment relationship of loyality, fidelity and trust. I have had it before in my life with my past husband and I am sure of finding another man who wants the same and lived a similiar life and that is with fidelity, a one-to-one full commitment to each other only. I would give up my freedom and other things that comes along living a single life for a total committed married life any day! Both worlds I have experienced, the single life (without sex) and marriage, both good worlds are my experiences and seek the same type of relationship. Marriage worked before and is hard work but the benefits are the best. It worked for me and it may not of worked for another well, but it did for me and I will would not in any circumstances ever change my mind or have a FWB relatioship. A FWB is just not right for me and never will be either. Excellent post. I also brought up the risk of sexual diseases. With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. What you are saying here is true..it does open the door for STD's...so does it, anytime you sleep with someone..even if you're in love and want to be married to that person..Very few people are virgins anymore..there is no guarentee that your choosen one has not ever slept with someone else, and there is no guarentee that that person won't have an affair after you marry...some risks are just THERE.. Y'all keep repeating that it just a guilt free way to sleep around...that is so untrue...what I'm talking about is having a relationship with ONE person. Not 2 or 5 or 10.....just one. And that is all I have to say on the subject... Vivian, I disagree. I married a virgin, a truly honest man who was faithful till he died. It is not a fairy tale and there are other men who will commit and had the same, a faithful wife. Sure I am not a virgin now but another man who lost his wife are around. There are true blue faithful people in this world and I bet a thousand that there are. True it is too that there are more men in this world who will not commit and all they want is to sleep around and have FWBs... those are the ones you want to stay clear off and would not touch them ever with a ten foot pole! Your FWB circumstance may be different. No matter either if he was rich, famous or even good looking. The answer would still be no. What I had was true love in marriage and sex is the best that way and no other way will do for me. There are other widow men in this world or even older virgins for all I know. You do not have to feel so guilty and glad for you for whatever you choose relationship wise is your business and none of my business and whatever you choose I still think you are a great person Vivian. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. Hi Vivian, Yes you both are special and I know you are too. We just see things differently on this matter. I am glad and it is good you have found what you are interested in relationship-wise. We all need someone and I see looking at all the responses there is reasons why and limitations that each desires in a relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. You may have a good FWB arrangement but not all relationships may turn out the same as it is for you. Some men may be in a FWB just to be able to have a variety of sex partners and may be the only reason too for a FWB; in this case a woman not you but the other woman the thread starter referred to. Some people do not like commitment and just do not want to be committed to another ... or for other reasons. That is fine too. In all cases I agree with friendship first before any kind of relationship develops, a FWB or a commitment relationship of full union with one person for life. With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. I prefer a commitment relationship of loyality, fidelity and trust. I have had it before in my life with my past husband and I am sure of finding another man who wants the same and lived a similiar life and that is with fidelity, a one-to-one full commitment to each other only. I would give up my freedom and other things that comes along living a single life for a total committed married life any day! Both worlds I have experienced, the single life (without sex) and marriage, both good worlds are my experiences and seek the same type of relationship. Marriage worked before and is hard work but the benefits are the best. It worked for me and it may not of worked for another well, but it did for me and I will would not in any circumstances ever change my mind or have a FWB relatioship. A FWB is just not right for me and never will be either. Excellent post. I also brought up the risk of sexual diseases. With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. What you are saying here is true..it does open the door for STD's...so does it, anytime you sleep with someone..even if you're in love and want to be married to that person..Very few people are virgins anymore..there is no guarentee that your choosen one has not ever slept with someone else, and there is no guarentee that that person won't have an affair after you marry...some risks are just THERE.. Y'all keep repeating that it just a guilt free way to sleep around...that is so untrue...what I'm talking about is having a relationship with ONE person. Not 2 or 5 or 10.....just one. And that is all I have to say on the subject... Vivian, I disagree. I married a virgin, a truly honest man who was faithful till he died. It is not a fairy tale and there are other men who will commit and had the same. Sure I am not a virgin but and another man who lost his wife or and had one other lover are around. There are true blue faithful people in this world and I bet a thousand that there are. True there are more men in this world who will not commit and all they want is to sleep around ... those are the ones you want to stay clear off and would not touch them ever with a ten foot pole! Unless you marry a very young man...or a man that has had never been married and lived a very virtious life, I'm willing to bet that there are not MANY virgins around..I understand what you are saying and I wish you all the luck in the world finding that one man that is unsullied by any type of frivolous sexual encounters. We all want that one person that is loyal, true, and unhampered by any kind of past. But in my 65 years on this earth..it has not proven to be the case. I know there are true blue faithful people out there..I know a few of them. I respect them and their beliefs But I will say this...unless one has ridden the river with me..I wouldn't trust him. Sometimes what they tell you and what they have done and will do are very different stories. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
WholesomeWoman
on
Wed 05/09/12 05:58 PM
|
|
If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If someone asked me to be a FWB, I would say no, not interested, a turn off. Different strokes for different folks and I am in the, no to wanting a FWB relationship. I think you will have to relook at calling FWBs a common thing. For, if you look at your reponses per person by number, the tally leans greater on the side, no to FWBs. It is interesting to see that a woman wants a FWB rather than a man, for it seems like it would be a man thing to want FWB more so than a woman well, with the exception of Vivian and Betts but then, they are special gals you know Even if you look at the responses there were more woman replying than men and I wonder what other mingle men would have to say on the subject of FWB to see if it is a more so woman or man thing. Could be a genderless desire too. You know, I've read these responces with a smile. Like you say, different strokes for different folks. Betts is a special person, I don't know about my self, but thank you I will say this. FWB is just a 'term'. It's more than just jumping into the sack with someone. It involves trust and respect. If someone said to me, 'let's be FWB, I'd laugh at them. It's not something that you just decide to do. There has to be a real friendship first. A total respect for that person in more ways than just having sex. It's NOT about having sex and nothing else. It's a relationship where you actually care about that person and want that person to be happy, with you or without you. It's not about sex on demand. It has to be where both parties are willing to be there for the other one. Not unlike a committed relationship. Like I said, I have a FWB..but if he decided that he has found someone, I'd be happy for him. Our relationship would be over with no jealously and no further involvement. Hi Vivian, Yes you both are special and I know you are too. We just see things differently on this matter. I am glad and it is good you have found what you are interested in relationship-wise. We all need someone and I see looking at all the responses there is reasons why and limitations that each desires in a relationship. Nothing wrong with that either. You may have a good FWB arrangement but not all relationships may turn out the same as it is for you. Some men may be in a FWB just to be able to have a variety of sex partners and may be the only reason too for a FWB; in this case a woman not you but the other woman the thread starter referred to. Some people do not like commitment and just do not want to be committed to another ... or for other reasons. That is fine too. In all cases I agree with friendship first before any kind of relationship develops, a FWB or a commitment relationship of full union with one person for life. With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. I prefer a commitment relationship of loyality, fidelity and trust. I have had it before in my life with my past husband and I am sure of finding another man who wants the same and lived a similiar life and that is with fidelity, a one-to-one full commitment to each other only. I would give up my freedom and other things that comes along living a single life for a total committed married life any day! Both worlds I have experienced, the single life (without sex) and marriage, both good worlds are my experiences and seek the same type of relationship. Marriage worked before and is hard work but the benefits are the best. It worked for me and it may not of worked for another well, but it did for me and I will would not in any circumstances ever change my mind or have a FWB relatioship. A FWB is just not right for me and never will be either. Excellent post. I also brought up the risk of sexual diseases. With benefits of sex component in a FWB, is something I do not want to take a risk with either for it gives opportunity for another to have other FWB relationships at the same time making a partner vulnerable to health risks. A FWB allows for the relationship to be open to the invitation of sexual diseases. Maybe not through a perosn's direct FWB partner but he/she may of slept with another lady who slept with a guy who was infected with AIDS, ...etc. When you have sex with the person you sleep with, you have slept with all their past or present partner(s) too, fact. All sexual diseases are passed on via bodily fluids. What you are saying here is true..it does open the door for STD's...so does it, anytime you sleep with someone..even if you're in love and want to be married to that person..Very few people are virgins anymore..there is no guarentee that your choosen one has not ever slept with someone else, and there is no guarentee that that person won't have an affair after you marry...some risks are just THERE.. Y'all keep repeating that it just a guilt free way to sleep around...that is so untrue...what I'm talking about is having a relationship with ONE person. Not 2 or 5 or 10.....just one. And that is all I have to say on the subject... Vivian, I disagree. I married a virgin, a truly honest man who was faithful till he died. It is not a fairy tale and there are other men who will commit and had the same, a faithful wife. Sure I am not a virgin now but another man who lost his wife are around. There are true blue faithful people in this world and I bet a thousand that there are. True it is too that there are more men in this world who will not commit and all they want is to sleep around and have FWBs... those are the ones you want to stay clear off and would not touch them ever with a ten foot pole! Your FWB circumstance may be different. No matter either if he was rich, famous or even good looking. The answer would still be no. What I had was true love in marriage and sex is the best that way and no other way will do for me. There are other widow men in this world or even older virgins for all I know. You do not have to feel so guilty and glad for you for whatever you choose relationship wise is your business and none of my business and whatever you choose I still think you are a great person Vivian. *** Vivian: Unless you marry a very young man...or a man that has had never been married and lived a very virtious life, I'm willing to bet that there are not MANY virgins around..I understand what you are saying and I wish you all the luck in the world finding that one man that is unsullied by any type of frivolous sexual encounters. We all want that one person that is loyal, true, and unhampered by any kind of past. But in my 65 years on this earth..it has not proven to be the case. I know there are true blue faithful people out there..I know a few of them. I respect them and their beliefs But I will say this...unless one has ridden the river with me..I wouldn't trust him. Sometimes what they tell you and what they have done and will do are very different stories. *** Wholesome Woman: I did not say I am looking for a virgin Vivian and there are more men than you know of that lead a life of fidelity, and you know what it has nothing to do with religion either on my behalf ... it is my choice. No one brainwashed me into it being a virtous life either. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
** Wholesome Woman:
I did not say I am looking for a virgin Vivian and there are more men than you know of that lead a life of fidelity, and you know what it has nothing to do with religion either on my behalf ... it is my choice. No one brainwashed me into it being a virtous life either. Edited by WholesomeWoman on Wed 05/09/12 05:58 PM Oh my goodness...I didn't mean to upset you! I'm sorry if I did. Of course you must live your life as you believe..I would never try to change you or your way of thinking! We're all God's children..Only He may judge any of us! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. If the person asking were a woman whom I considered to be outwardly attractive . . . I'd be flattered, but I'd say "No." If anyone else asked, I'd say, "Absolutely no." I don't base right and wrong on whatever pleases my flesh. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Do you think they are talking about pleasing the flesh as much as having companionship on an adult level?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry i was just stating my preference is all. Sorry if anyone took what i said as an offence somewhat. Having just read all the posts above mine, i think i possibly COULD consider having a fwb. As long as we both had a very mutual respect for each other. I see what Vivian was meaning, when she pointed out that there are less and less men wanting a true long-lasting relationship. I was born in the eighties, so i still get a bit old-fashioned about love at times. lol. Who knows what could happen? That one person, who you didn't see coming, might just blow you away. That's the best feeling in the world :) I wasn't offended, personally. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I was born a long time before the 80's...age doesn't dictate what's right for each of us. You're quite right.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry i was just stating my preference is all. Sorry if anyone took what i said as an offence somewhat. Having just read all the posts above mine, i think i possibly COULD consider having a fwb. As long as we both had a very mutual respect for each other. I see what Vivian was meaning, when she pointed out that there are less and less men wanting a true long-lasting relationship. I was born in the eighties, so i still get a bit old-fashioned about love at times. lol. Who knows what could happen? That one person, who you didn't see coming, might just blow you away. That's the best feeling in the world :) Good post! Thankyou kind sir :) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
Leigh2154
on
Wed 05/09/12 09:27 PM
|
|
If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. Great thread Charles! I haven't, but that does not mean I wouldn't and this is why....Friends are people who are attached to one and other by feelings of affection, respect, and commonalities....Friendship is NOT a casual relationship...Unlike a casual acquaintance, a friendship assumes continuation, emotional depth, commitment.....It is true that because a friendship requires less "comprehensive" interaction than romantic love, it requires less "comprehensive" commitment...This fact in no way diminishes a sexual act between two consenting adult friends to that of having "casual sex", NO WAY!....FWB has been around for a very long time and it is here to stay....As Vivian pointed out earlier, the term originated when government reduced Social Security benefits to retired singles who wished to marry...To get around this very unfair bureaucratic bullchit they became FWB  The only real difference between romantic couples having sex and FWB's having sex is the context of two very different but very similar relationships....Both are fine...Both can work out beautifully and both can fail miserably...The outcome, whether good or bad, depends solely on the two people involved
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 You're right...sorry I did get carried away
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You're right...sorry I did get carried away I must really be tired as I didn't think you got carried away; just expressing your opinion. Either way its all good Vivian.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If someone asked you to be a F.W.B, Would you? OR, Would that be a turn off to you? Seems like a common thing now. I'm curious to how people in general really think about this subject. Great thread Charles! I haven't, but that does not mean I wouldn't and this is why....Friends are people who are attached to one and other by feelings of affection, respect, and commonalities....Friendship is NOT a casual relationship...Unlike a casual acquaintance, a friendship assumes continuation, emotional depth, commitment.....It is true that because a friendship requires less "comprehensive" interaction than romantic love, it requires less "comprehensive" commitment...This fact in no way diminishes a sexual act between two consenting adult friends to that of having "casual sex", NO WAY!....FWB has been around for a very long time and it is here to stay....As Vivian pointed out earlier, the term originated when government reduced Social Security benefits to retired singles who wished to marry...To get around this very unfair bureaucratic bullchit they became FWB The only real difference between romantic couples having sex and FWB's having sex is the context of two very different but very similar relationships....Both are fine...Both can work out beautifully and both can fail miserably...The outcome, whether good or bad, depends solely on the two people involved This is why I love this woman! Now if I can only get Jerry to say "three is not a crowd". |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
** Wholesome Woman: I did not say I am looking for a virgin Vivian and there are more men than you know of that lead a life of fidelity, and you know what it has nothing to do with religion either on my behalf ... it is my choice. No one brainwashed me into it being a virtous life either. Edited by WholesomeWoman on Wed 05/09/12 05:58 PM Oh my goodness...I didn't mean to upset you! I'm sorry if I did. Of course you must live your life as you believe..I would never try to change you or your way of thinking! We're all God's children..Only He may judge any of us!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I started this thread simply because I wanted to get some insight on how people in general thought about this subject. I did it because I have never been offered a FWB situation before now. I wasn't sure how to handle it.
A lot of the posts here give me something to think about. Give me some ideas on how to handle it. Everything turned out alright. In one sense of the word I was right when I said it made me wonder about not being able to get a boyfriend. It turned out that was exactly what it was. In the year almost that we have been friends she has had some rotten luck with boyfriends. I knew of four she had already gone through in almost a year. I'm not going to tell the whole thing. But in her way of thinking, Well, She hasn't had any in a while because every guy she gets with turns out to be a jerk of some kind. She told me that she was thankful that she was finding out what kind of men they were before things made it to the bedroom. Her last boyfriend was the straw that broke the camels back. He had been lying to her about not being married. He was, For 26 yrs. And not intending on getting a divorce. So, She got to thinking about me. I've never lied to her. I've never done wrong to her in any way. I've been a good friend to her So she decided I would make a good FWB. I had to tell her no. All in all we got it right. We are still friends. But we are not going to be sleeping together. I finally made her understand I didn't feel right about it and why. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I started this thread simply because I wanted to get some insight on how people in general thought about this subject. I did it because I have never been offered a FWB situation before now. I wasn't sure how to handle it. A lot of the posts here give me something to think about. Give me some ideas on how to handle it. Everything turned out alright. In one sense of the word I was right when I said it made me wonder about not being able to get a boyfriend. It turned out that was exactly what it was. In the year almost that we have been friends she has had some rotten luck with boyfriends. I knew of four she had already gone through in almost a year. I'm not going to tell the whole thing. But in her way of thinking, Well, She hasn't had any in a while because every guy she gets with turns out to be a jerk of some kind. She told me that she was thankful that she was finding out what kind of men they were before things made it to the bedroom. Her last boyfriend was the straw that broke the camels back. He had been lying to her about not being married. He was, For 26 yrs. And not intending on getting a divorce. So, She got to thinking about me. I've never lied to her. I've never done wrong to her in any way. I've been a good friend to her So she decided I would make a good FWB. I had to tell her no. All in all we got it right. We are still friends. But we are not going to be sleeping together. I finally made her understand I didn't feel right about it and why. Nice and glad to hear Charles... so that makes you Friends now and not Friends with (Sex) Benefits (FWB). Good for you in staying true to yourself in what your lifestyle choice is. As we see in the thread we each have our own positions in life in how we want to live. Again, I am glad things worked out for you. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
** Wholesome Woman: I did not say I am looking for a virgin Vivian and there are more men than you know of that lead a life of fidelity, and you know what it has nothing to do with religion either on my behalf ... it is my choice. No one brainwashed me into it being a virtous life either. Edited by WholesomeWoman on Wed 05/09/12 05:58 PM Oh my goodness...I didn't mean to upset you! I'm sorry if I did. Of course you must live your life as you believe..I would never try to change you or your way of thinking! We're all God's children..Only He may judge any of us! Sit back relax I think it even exhaust me. People relationships why this why that. Viv knows me better so she probably gets me. Just different opinions Alls good. I like differences the world would be pretty boring without them Don't worry about people disagreeing with you or getting upset. You provided your opinion and that's what works for you. The good thing about a site like this is that everyone does think differently. It's good to hear different views on these subjects. |
|
|
|
|
