I'm new to the site but I've also had this question, in general, for years. I've also been out of the loop since a lot of my adulthood was spent in a relationship. Now I've been divorced for 3 years and I'm stepping out there again. The question: is it assumed the man pays for everything...as in, I contact someone, or they contact me for a coffee-shop visit. Should each person pay for their own coffee, or is it assumed the man simply allways pays for everything. I'm a male, but I don't pay my male friends bill when we get together as friends...but what are the rules for female friends? I'm on this site looking for a female friend with the "possibly" of a LTR. This may be a dumb question, I know, but I don't have any casual female friends to get input from. What do people think?

Pay for the drinks tight get.

I am not Dutch.
Therefore, assume the worst :-)

thanks for the friendly welcome to the site

if you ask, assume the other person is assuming you are offering to pay,,,,


words can make subtle differences too

as in

'Do you want to go out for a dinner'

vs

'Would you like to meet somewhere for dinner'


the first would imply, to me anyhow , someone is offering to treat me

the latter would imply someone is just offering to 'meet' at a mutual place as two seperate bills,,,,

my friend he said meet a person and go for a coffee does he pay for everything lolll well yes he should unless they were there first and bought her own already :)but thats just me i would even by you a coffee msharmony hugsssssssssss smiling

usually if its a first date... depends also on circumstances

Well if your asking a lady to meet you at a coffee shop and you get there first of course buy her a coffee and whatever else bro its being a Gentleman and to me it shows respect even if a friend bro now if she says its ok i can buy my own say its only a coffee i love to buy you it :) cause the lady knows then your not them cheap losers next time if you go there she may say go up and say i buying this time and your not then ok let her buy but at first a lady come on dude its a coffee lollllll cheers i think too if a lady strongly refuse to let you buy her something then she don't like you to that much or she is very polite and feels bad about accepting something or maybe she just loves the dutch thing lolllll but a real Gentleman would offer to buy think about it what go's around comes around too i mean if you in a relationship and you fall in love later you both buy each other things? right? i had girls want to buy me dinner and i said i rather buy but then they said no so i accepted but i bought them lots of times see cause they already know i not cheap its that first impression that stands out bro :) remember that always be polite and respect a woman and treat her like a princess if your heart akes for a certain person :)dutch can come later most lady's offer later on after they know a guy would give them the world and is not a cheap a - hole or just after sex or money :)cheers bro good luck lollllll i wrote a story to funny hope it helps you ,i know a lot of buddy's of mine ask me for advise then they do great later :) but i love women who are honest and decent and respect a guy too for them selfs i treat them like a princess if they act like a snob or think they are Gods gift to man i move on they are useless in my books :) cheers

I have a rule that works for me. This is my opinion only.
I believe the person who invites is to pay for what they do. I am not going to call anyone up and say "Hey let's go to dinner and a movie" then make them pay for it.
That would be ridiculous as far as I am concerned. It goes the same for any gender to me. If I ask my girl friend out for a luncheon, I do not expect her to pay, after all I just invited her.
Now there are exceptions..
If you can not afford such things there are ways to word it so they understand that the bill is going to be split.

This.

I never invite anyone somewhere with the intent to make them pay for anything. If it is a show or something we are planning together, we mesh all of this stuff out beforehand so there is no confusion at the ticket counter or what not.

Are you talking about friends or women you're dating? I would say with friends, both would definitely pay their own way. If you're going on a date and want to go Dutch, make that clear before the date as some women will assume you're paying. I always offer, but some don't.

If I'm asking a friend to go to dinner with me, it is not under the assumption that I'm paying. I never assume they're paying for me, either.

I try to pay for all of it. If you are both paying..it ain't a date...it's just hanging out. Hanging out ain't gonna get you any closer to a real relationship where as a date may help.

If you're worrying over whether a date is a date because of who is paying, the date probably isn't going that well.

Apparently, you never went on a date with me. I have had excellent results with my methods....some times too good.

I took a woman out for coffee last week. I paid for it, but when the waiter asked her if she wanted a refill, I told him no as she would probably pee herself on the car ride home. The whole diner cracked up and started asking for coffee. The woman now texts me an average of 37 times a day, because I said I would be her friend but not date her.

well i going on a date with you bro your buying the beer lollllllllllllllllll i will bring the lady's

Having casual female friends is fun. My running buddy that I would hangout with usually would go dutch by its your turn to pay or hers. She never really said it that way but it was assumed and we would always would tell each other thank you. We both would have cash and ready to pay but remind each other who got the tab last time. Unless, of course, we knew the other was broke. It was just assumed that we were like a couple until she left. Then my casual female friends would inquire as what happened to her when she wasn't there any more.

...of course I buy the beer.....and the shots....and late night eats at the Iron Skillet.....

Just don't bring french-canadian chicks....if they got more body hair than I do....I just ain't gonna be able to follow through. eeewwww.

:)

lollllllllll no i don't even speak french bro only with my tongue on a chic lolll but theres is a lot of hot 1s around the beaches here lolll theres so many diff cultures you get to choose :) and i agree i hate chicks with lots of hair on the body i like them all clean shaven all over :)