Community > Jokes & Funny Stories

Topic: Stupid jokes!!!
The_Pete_Man Joined Sat 09/15/07 Posts: 21383	Fri 10/21/11 09:35 PM
One fly says to the other fly, "Would you mind sharing this stool?"

The_Pete_Man Joined Sat 09/15/07 Posts: 21383	Fri 10/21/11 09:36 PM
What did one fly say to the other? "Your man's down."

w0m4n Joined Wed 08/24/11 Posts: 11247	Sat 10/22/11 06:04 AM
What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."

w0m4n Joined Wed 08/24/11 Posts: 11247	Sat 10/22/11 06:08 AM
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Sat 10/22/11 06:30 AM
An old farmer was inconsolable after his dog went missing. His wife suggested he take out an ad in the local newspaper. He did. After two weeks and no response his wife asked him what he wrote in the ad. His reply, "HERE BOY!"

boredinaz06 Joined Sun 10/15/06 Posts: 22764	Sat 10/22/11 10:50 AM
What is the worlds shortest history book? Great French warriors!

boredinaz06 Joined Sun 10/15/06 Posts: 22764	Sat 10/22/11 10:53 AM
Little Storm Trooper "WHat's for dinner dad?" Dad Storm Trooper "Wookie steaks!" Little Storm Trooper "Is it any good?" Dad Storm Trooper "their a little chewey!"

The_Pete_Man Joined Sat 09/15/07 Posts: 21383	Sat 10/22/11 12:33 PM
Q: What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? A: Don't know, huh? So YOU'RE the one !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

leslie Joined Thu 03/12/09 Posts: 170	Sat 10/22/11 03:27 PM
Q: What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? A: Don't know, huh? So YOU'RE the one !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alookat101 Joined Fri 12/12/08 Posts: 17442	Sat 10/22/11 03:47 PM
There's two guy's at a phone booth one's on the phone chatting with whom ever and the other is waiting impatiently to use this telephone.., so the impatient guys finally ask the chatter butt guy.,Sir are you going to be long chatting on the phone.., so chatter butt guy stops just for a second to respond back to the impatient guy by saying to him: "What Do You Think ".

topherj37 Joined Fri 07/15/11 Posts: 38773	Sat 10/22/11 03:51 PM
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

The_Pete_Man Joined Sat 09/15/07 Posts: 21383	Sun 10/23/11 08:14 AM
Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it could be done.

tazzops Joined Sat 12/20/08 Posts: 33333	Sun 10/23/11 10:33 AM
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

tazzops Joined Sat 12/20/08 Posts: 33333	Sun 10/23/11 10:36 AM
A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

Foszil Joined Wed 01/28/09 Posts: 4917	Sun 10/23/11 01:09 PM
A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL." Oh dear, another pensioner

tazzops Joined Sat 12/20/08 Posts: 33333	Sun 10/23/11 01:16 PM
A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL." Oh dear, another pensioner Hello; Ray.

iamchad Joined Sun 10/23/11 Posts: 1	Sun 10/23/11 02:30 PM
IN MEMORY OF BOB!!!!! Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was mad. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds. AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" The next morning when his wife woke up she looked out the window to find a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since.....

w0m4n Joined Wed 08/24/11 Posts: 11247	Sun 10/23/11 07:18 PM
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.

The_Pete_Man Joined Sat 09/15/07 Posts: 21383	Sun 10/23/11 07:21 PM
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs. Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the air valve.

w0m4n Joined Wed 08/24/11 Posts: 11247	Sun 10/23/11 07:27 PM
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs. Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the air valve. Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them.