"I would like a male who also like beach and will not shout at me when i watch Christines Garden on UKTV Gardens as this is my favourite show."


Ok to yell at you while you're, say, cooking dinner?

"why do i have to fill this in now... this is so stupid... why do i have to fill this in now... this is so stupid... "


Scientific studies have shown that actually having a profile increases your chances of finding a match by 98.21%. Having a good one increases it only slightly more.

" hope u don't mind that I have aids I cheat on my man n leave him in Texas n took his kid I listen to everything my parents say so u will never get anywhere n I never stay one place long so"


Usually it's best not to let your ex write your profile.

"I like butt sex and hamsters."


I'm just hoping these are mutually exclusive.

"my famly dosent talk cuz i shout at them to much so they tell me to piss off"


If they don't talk, how do they tell you to piss off? Gestures?

"i like being my self no matter what the consequences are."


Here's hoping you don't ever need the witness protection program.

"i am short dark not bad looking big breastlook to watch football"


I guess I don't understand how the big breast look helps you to watch football.

"Deep down I am looking"


I'm way up here.

"I really am just making this so that I can make a comment to some1 imagine that."

And yet your profile already says more about you than most.

"whenever someone tells you about themselves it is always 2 people you end up dating, the one they made up in their heads and the one you actually fall in love with and more than likely is someone you would have never liked in the first place "


This actually broke my logicometer.

" i like to cook dance love 2 WASH""""""" not enough space here to put the rest .lol.holGEHFGJHDRGDSFVB
BKLGJHKBDFLGBHDFVHDFGTRH ERGIHURFGHUJDKNFVJYDFGNDRF FJVHHFGRGUHURVBDS DFHUVHRGBDFVFGEFJKR VDSYEURG TVJKURGJTGH DFYTRRGUGHTNB RGERN 4TJIORJG 9TRGTR 0RGTRJYR TOGJTR RGJT ROGIBJ W0ERIGJERJG EIOFIJER EO9JIG EOGIK FF9GJIHU. ROFIG EIUFUJG EUFG BIFOGITUY EFIGIO MERG TRGK BKLMTY TORG.GJHKGJH ETRIUGJHDFV UGIJF N ERIOG EROIGUR TOGJ TR GJU8RJ GTRBITKHJ T.GNF GIUOTGIUO NETR,ETRG TPOGKM TJ OGU9T EWFJIEUF D8F TR. NER R8IRH GTRI0HJTH ITJH EIGHKT TRPHIO EWTHIOTR TRIG 6ERHOUOPT TPHTH OEFUG L R YPOHIO."



There was until you started typing gibberish.

"ok, this says it's mandatory......i'll fill it out in a bit. gosh it keeps saying my description field is tooo short. "


Golly, dating sites are hard.

"I'am a mother of 5 wonderful kids, and the grandmother of 11, but don't let that scare you"


At what point SHOULD I get scared? When there are enough kids to invade a small country?

"What makes me unique is that I love to lick feet."


Ok, at least that's relatively unique. A little strange, but unique.

"testing this. msg for more details.the big brown fish ran over the dog.and the big brown fish ran over the cat.testing this. msg for more details."

That is one nasty old fish.

"I would like to meet a serious, inteligent guy with good sence o hummour."

And he can help you with your spelling.

"I don´t know what to say about myself. I think I´m not the first here."

More like the 34,992,407,226,433rd.

"want you to love me, like I'm a hot guy."

Oooops, I'm on the wrong site again.

"Well i am looken for some 1 that no's what they wont but um i am a very independent women that hold's her on so if you wont to no eny thing about me just ask.so into next time have a nice night"

Did you try to write actual words or are those just random letters?

"Baby sitting right now, have apsirations to walk the ramp professionally."

I assume that's a metaphor for "Yahoo scammer."